Can any clothing survive the death knell "you look pregnant" comment? - YouLookFab Forum

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Can any clothing survive the death knell "you look pregnant" comment?

Anonymous

So this happened ... when I was in church I had a lady who is at best an acquaintance put both hands on my stomach and ask if I was pregnant. Umm - no I'm not. It's true I've gained about 10 pounds. I think it's taken me into more of an IT/Apple shape from where I would have considered myself in past an hourglass. I was wearing a tunic, which I rarely do. So here's the question I have. I'm having a hard time wearing this top again because it makes me think of how bad I must look. Is it possible to get over the unfortunate feeling I now have associated with this top? Should I give up on all tunics too? I'm attaching a pic of the top in question. Sorry the quality of the picture isn't great. Should I pass this top along?

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Dressing

45 replies

Latest reply was from Ledonna N.

JAileen

Veteran

1. You don't look pregnant. Some people are so stupid.
2. I'm sure people would think that about me, but it would be a miracle if I were pregnant.
3. I love your shoes!
4. Keep the top if you like it - it doesn't make you look pregnant!

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

She put her hands on your stomach and asked if you are pregnant?!?! She would not have survived my death glare if that had happened to me. You do not look one bit pregnant and I can only assume this "lady" has some impression that all women must dress with tightly cinched waists or be pregnant. And what Jaileen said.

Colette

Veteran

HOW RUDE!!! I would have said, "no I'm not pregnant, are you?"

You don't look pregnant. At all!

The top looks great and I love the color on you. Those silver shoes are fab!

Joy

Veteran

What Colette said. You don't look pregnant or overweight. Please continue to wear that lovely tunic. If you are unsure, alternate it with more fitted pieces.

Maneera

(website)

Veteran

1) You DO not look pregnant at all. Just IGNORE!
2) It's possible that the lady thought you're pregnant not because of your tunic, but because you've paired it with leggings and sneakers. You know how most people assume that if you see a girl in super comfy leggings & tunic with sneakers, she's probably pregnant? It's kind of like - if you're giving up on heels, you probably are preggers. Idiotic thought!!! Pay no mind to it, because that tunic looks lovely on you!

I have told this story on the forum before, but I'm guessing you probably weren't an active part of the forum then. So a lady (she lives in my bldg) once asked me in the elevator "are you pregnant, sweetie". It was hot. I was wearing a cotton peasant blouse that ballooned out and leggings. She made me so uncomfortable with that question! I gave her a weird look and asked "What makes you say that?" Now it was her turn to be uncomfortable. She couldn't outright say "because you look fat", right? I watched her squirm as she came up an answer and quite enjoyed it. Eventually she said it was because my top was ballooning over my belly and I looked tired, and I looked at her midsection (much much larger than mine) and told her - I could actually say the same thing about you! That shut her right up. No one ever asked if I was pregnant again

Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

Maneera, what a great story! (I hadn't heard it either.)
delurked, you look super cute in that outfit. I'd wear it again right away (kind of like the theory of getting back on the horse after being thrown). It's her problem, not yours. That was an incredibly rude comment and gesture! Good grief!

Ledonna N.

Veteran

Well I was just cursing How freaking rude. Do not throw your top away. I hate stupid people because they don't have to be stupid. They choose to be.

Invading your personal space is NOT Right. I have people do that to my hair. It is not tolerated and tell them so. They understand and get the message.

You look fab forget the rest.

Ledonna N.

Veteran

Maneera great great story. No matter time or place some are just rude on purpose.

Zibbets

Veteran

People can be so clueless. A woman once asked if my two children - who were in a double stroller but are over two years apart - were twins! Some people just say every silly thing that pops into their brain.

I'm guessing this woman spends a lot of time alone and has lost a bit of her filter. Maybe she saw a beautiful, glowing woman and came up with that. Who knows.

You don't look one bit pregnant or overweight.That color is fabulous on you.I wouldn't give it another thought.

deb

Veteran

I like the top and it is a very good color on you. Some people are just plain rude.

Brooklyn

Veteran

I love the top on you. You look great. Ignore that rude person and wear it again! (And great story Manny!)

MsMaven

Veteran

I'm way past the age to be pregnant, but the last couple of years I do look pregnant, as do a lot of women my age. I hate tunic tops that remind me of old maternity tops. I'm always on the lookout for flattering tops that skim the body.

I don't think you look pregnant and I like your top.

Once when I was pregnant with my first child and went to church my ecclesiastical leader came up to me and said "So you are going to be a Mother in Zion," and put his hands on my belly. I was quite skinny then and when he touched my top with belly beneath he realized I was farther along than he imagined. He was so embarrassed he jumped back. He apologized and actually was a very nice person, so it didn't bother me. After that I was extremely cautious in mentioning that someone looked like they were expecting unless I knew they were.

Anonymous

When I told my friend, she joked that I should look on the bright side that at least that meant I looked young enough for that to happen. I know this lady was well intentioned, but the double hands on me was just over the top. My DH and DD looked on in horror.

The shoes are my fave part of the outfit. They are the Cole Han zero grand and they actually make them in a 10 1/2. And royal blue is pretty much my color. I think I will pair the shoes with my new white jeans next. The shirt will have to wait for cooler weather, as it's actually a sweater and too hot here for that going into summer.

Way to put her on the defensive Maneera! And yes, I thought everyone was smart enough to hold back their words unless they actually see a kid being delivered.

Maneera

(website)

Veteran

Zibbets - your story is hilarious!! Ppl can be so daft! And NOT think before they speak!

That reminds me of another story. The first time we took our pup Emma for a walk with our older dog, at least 3 people came up to say "oh my, did Xena have a baby?" And a couple (if not more) merely stopped us to ask if our two dogs were mother & puppy (one of these people was walking a dog herself - a Labrador retriever).

Me & my husband were aghast! In what world could Xena (a German Shephard) be the natural mom of Emma (a beagle)! I mean - how can they look even remotely similar!!! People I tell you!!!!

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Sal

Veteran

You look great Delurked.

Some funny stories on this thread - Maneera - that makes me laugh about Xena and Emma:)

Sally

Veteran

You don't look pregnant at all and lots of people wear tunic tops. I've had people say that to me but it's when I'm slim. . I am a cynical person and I sometimes wonder if people say things to be mean...they know you're not pregnant and they know it will upset you so they say it to put you off guard...

Jane

Veteran

Cute dogs!

What a horrid experience. You absolutely do not look pregnant and please don't get rid of the top. It's a great colour and fit.

rachylou

Veteran

You know, I think that is pretty close to counting as sexual harassment, if not totally. She molested you. Put hands on you. She made comments about your body. And well ... I just want to um kinda point out that harassment is not about the victim or the victim's clothes or anything like that...

goldenpig

(website)

Veteran

Delurked, you look great and definitely don't look pregnant. I TOTALLY feel your pain though. I had the same exact thing happen to me when I was wearing a very similar cobalt blue tunic and a loose shirt dress. Several patients asked me if I was pregnant and when I was due. No, it's just a food baby, damn it!
http://goldenpig.lookfab.com/p.....-six-weeks
Do I still have these two items in my closet? Yes. Though I keep debating on whether to put that blue tunic on the donate pile (I admit I do look kind of squishy in that one), I think I'm going to give it another chance.
Are people thoughtless and should they keep their mouth shut? Yes.
Don't ask a woman if she's pregnant unless there's a baby dangling between her legs!
Maneera, great stories!

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Anonymous

You look fabulous in your outfit. I can't even imagine why someone would think "pregnant" unless it had to do with the absence of a cinched waist. I assume this was an older woman?

Ignore her. She was just plain silly (and rude).

Those shoes slay.

Momo

Veteran

Ugh! I sorry that happened to you. I posted a couple of months ago that it happened to me two times in a couple of weeks !
I went with the at least they think I am young enough,..

And no. You don't look pregnant and don't throw out the clothes unless you don't like it yourself!

Summer

Veteran

Oh no! I know a few others on the forum have had the same thing happen. You look absolutely lovely in your tunic, so please don't throw it out because of someone's thoughtless question. Just put it down to a lack of tact.

The same thing happened to me during the 70s, when smock tops were all the rage. When I started wearing them, my MIL was convinced she needed to start knitting again!

Helen11

Veteran

Delurked, I hope you've had a good laugh at others stories, and to know you're not alone in people asking rude questions.
Zibbets phrased it nicely in saying this woman had lost a bit of her filter. I was going to say I would assume she was a tiny bit demented. Oops!

You look terrific. The tunic is a great colour, and the shoes are fantastic!

Anonymous

That top is lovely, and a beautiful colour for you. You most emphatically *do not* look pregnant. Sometimes I think people read in what they want to see, it has little to do with how we look. Asking is bad enough, but walking up and touching is unacceptable. I'm surprised that, in this era, people still think it's okay to do that.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Oh good lord, when will people learn it's never ok to ask a woman if she's pregnant unless a baby is actively emerging from her body? That's just rude. And no worries, you look perfectly lovely in that top. Beautiful color, and I like the silver shoes too.

lyn67

Veteran

I dunno, can it?:-)) But you don't look preggie to me, so I just say, ignore!:-)

RobinF

Veteran

Haha, love your stories Maneera! My first thought was like your friend, at least you look young enough... I know how you feel, one comment or bad picture can totally turn me off an outfit. Maybe by the time the weather starts getting cold again you'll feel different about it. I think it looks fine and love the color.

BrieN

Veteran

I can't believe she touched you. That's beyond the pale - definitely an indication that she's not all there.

I had a "friendly acquaintance" ask if I were pregnant while I was at the pool. Running around after my toddler. In my bathing suit.. I actually wondered if there was an element of bullying with that one, it was so egregious.

On the other hand, it turns out she was trying to get pregnant at the time (and ended up with twins with IVF) so maybe she just had pregnancy on her radar. At least that's what I tell myself. It still stings a little to think about.

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

You don't look pregnant - the top is really beautiful and the color is great. You simply look like you are wearing a tunic, which as others have said some people immediately relate to maternity wear in their minds - esp. on a younger woman. It's just silly ignorance and nothing to take seriously.
Don't let it get to you or ruin your enjoyment of your lovely clothing. I used to let comments like that bother me sometimes and still do if DH doesn't like something I wear (or I think he doesn't), but if it's just some random person or acquaintance, I just don't really value their input much unless they are someone I truly have a close relationship with (like a really good friend).

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