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Your style vs what fits you well

rute

Veteran

I tried this midi skirt at Zara just for fun and I was surprised that I loved it! Nice lenght, perfect fit, it's fun, perfect for an hourglass, the problem is that It's not me. I'm not in a lady-like mood..
Do you ever feel you style and what fits your figure don't always match. What do you do?

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36 replies

Latest reply was from Gigi

jackiec

Veteran

Can I just say that you look so pretty in that skirt!? I get what you are saying, though. Sometimes you have to trust your instincts and your comfort level. However I suppose it could push you into trying something new and just outside your comfort level. Personally, I'm not often in a "lady-like" mood either. But wow that skirt looks great on you!

anne

Veteran

It certainly looks great on you Rute. But since we have seen you in lots of other styles we know that many styles look good on you!!

Helena

Veteran

Rute that skirt looks fantastic!! I totally am with you though - if it's not you, then it's not you. I've been told that I "should" wear way more trendy and/or revealing stuff since I can pull off some things that are more easily worn on a skinnier frame - but I am classic and conservative and that's that!

Joy

Veteran

The skirt is wonderful on you, but I understand. Recently I bought and returned a great pair of tuxedo track pants. The fit was great, just loose and fluid enough, but I decided that they didn't feel like me. Maybe in a few months I'll feel differently. I would have needed to find some tops for those pants and wasn't sure that was the direction that I wanted my style to go.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I totally understand this! My body was made for fit-and-flare styles, and I used to wear them all the time. But they're not very rock'n'roll. They feel too girly on me, at least all the ones I see out now. I'm always trying to find ways to make rock'n'roll style work on my very non-Kate-Moss-like body. I end up compromising a lot. :-/

That is a really pretty skirt on you, but I get what you're saying. Is it possible that the right combination of footwear, top, and topper would help push this into your style zone? Or is it a case where you'd be working too hard to make it work? These are questions I always have to ask myself.

carter

Veteran

Ugh...all the time. I usually end up buying another orphan. Trying not to do this anymore! I usually get sucked in by color or pattern, so I end up trying things on that appeal to me on that level without first evaluating whether they're my style. Then, unfortunately, if they fit, I buy them because I'm blinded by the fabric.

rachylou

Veteran

Yes, I've had that problem and I felt it was sort of deceiving. So one of my goals is to be more consistent and "on message." It's been helping me purge my closet too, I might add - staying on message.

mrseccentric

(website)

Veteran

rute, i so much understand the feeling on one level - looks good, flattering, etc. So why not? But at a deeper level i can't comprehend that it's even a question!

I mean, we all know that even people with no particular interest in fashion and style have very strong likes and dislikes when it comes to what clothes they want to wear. So of course, anyone interested in developing their own unique personal style is going to really want to keep their purchases focused on pieces which embody and encourage that style, as opposed to just buying whatever looks good with no underlying viewpoint or wardrobe strategy.

At the same time the whole clothing industry just wants us to buy buy buy, and we get all types of messages on all forms of media encouraging that type of approach. Finding voices that question that idea and which offer other viewpoints is one of the best things about the internet and places like YLF, in my humble opinion.

I am very strict about what i bring into my closet, and i'm constantly getting puzzled looks and queries from friends and family. But consistency is one of my highest style priorities, to achieve this goal i have to be very strict and lots of 'nice' pieces don't fit with my style goals so they don't come home with me. I also have enough experience to recognize what i will and won't wear, and what my lifestyle requires (and what it doesn't!). To sum up, why put off the inevitable? Leave the orphans in the store.

Interesting and important topic! steph

mrseccentric

(website)

Veteran

rachylou - 'Stay on message" - fantastically helpful style mantra!

Also, could be a good sum up for explaining myself to friends and family - thanks! stpeh

celia

Veteran

Yes, yes, yes. In my mind I would like fluid, slightly oversized clothes in draped fabrics , in reality my pear self doesn't really agree with me.
I have tried to conciliate both parts of me and with age become to accept better my curves and dress for them, but sometimes I also dress in things I know are not so flattering just because I like the feel of it.
ETA: I do love that skirt on you.

shedev

Veteran

People keep telling me that I'd look good in peplums. I don't look bad, but they are very much not me.

Diana

Veteran

Yes, many of the arty, drapy looks I like don't work with my curves. (Helmet lang I'm looking at you). What does work is bombshell which is the last thing in the world I want. (No offense to the very fab bombshell ladies here ... It's just not me at all.). So I persist in trying to make the arty things work. I do OK I think, although there are definitely things I have to regretfully put back on the shelf.

Irene

Veteran

I've always felt like Kirsten Stewart in the body of Scarlett Johanson. I wanted to be small and petite and straight and discrete, and yet there I was, all va va voomie. I have now accepted the fact that I have curves. I dont exploit them to the max, but dont ignore them either. You make do with what you got, I guess. I prefer to wear things that look good on me as oposed to things I wish looked good on me. I've heard the 'everything looks good on you' too many times. Most things dont look good on me, but its those that do that you can find in my wardrobe, which is what people end up seeing. And it pays!

I do think that skirt is very you, though, rute! Gorgeous

cciele

Veteran

Yes, I have this problem! I think it can be hard to leave behind a piece of clothing that fits well and just makes you look wonderful. Consistency is all well and good and great for keeping to your style and avoiding orphans, but man, I'll be vain and admit that, for all my preference for non-figure-flattering looks, I really like how I look in certain types of figure-flattering clothes, like bombshell-style dresses. Similar to how that skirt looks on you Rute -- so flattering, but not your style.

But those types of dresses have no place in my (life)style -- and neither do structured suit-style blazers, which work well for my body too. Le sigh.

Day Vies

Veteran

YES! Sometimes I want a clean very architectural angular look and that's kind of hard to achieve with all these curves. Anything retro and ladylike works well with my body and is very easy to pull off. I usually have to get creative to generate a flattering no-frills androgynous look.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

It's a very interesting question. You can frequently look great in something that is not your cup of tea. But you can also love a look precisely because it works well on your body type. Opposite sides of the same coin.

I LOVE wide skirts that move - and am wearing one right now - with pullover and ankle strap pumps. But I love a boyish angular look too. I don't think that one works more with my body type. I just like the change. I bat for Team Pretty and for Team Androgynous.

And you do look killer in that skirt, Rute. I've had it on a few clients. xo

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

Like Diana I'd love to do drapey arty things sometimes, but when I go too Eileen Fisher it just makes me look like I'm wearing clothes that don't fit. Like Janet, I used to wear fit and flare and a line skirts all the time, because they were easy to find that fit my pear shape, but they aren't really my personality; I always felt a little off in them.

It can be a question of scale and/or color too. I had this problem when I started sewing that I bought all these print fabrics that I thought were adorable or interesting but found that when I made them into garments I just didn't wear them. A print or color that you like on its own as a piece of art, almost, is different than a print or color that actually suits you as a garment to wear.

Desmo April

(website)

Veteran

It is easy to find dresses that look good on me. I never wear them though, totally not my style.

fusslessness

You should absolutely go for it! I think if something looks really good on you, you'll find a way to work it into your wardrobe. Leather, studs, and tough boots are all a good way to take the ladylike feel out of a piece.

rute

Veteran

I'm torn. It was difficult to leave the skirt there. I didn't wanted to buy by impulse and ended up with an orphan.
I loved the idea of wearing it with a leather jacket. I'm still thinking!
Thank you ladies, you always have the best advice

shedev

Veteran

If it's not your style, I think you should leave it. There will be plenty of things that fit both your body and style.

Aida

Veteran

I hear you Rute! When I'm into a style that may not be optimal for my shape, I try to find ways to work the style in a "just flattering enough" sort of way or I'll try to find something that is right for my shape and adapt a bit of that style to it. I also notice that I have different preferences depending on the season. I think the skirt is very pretty on you, but if you're not into the ladylike look AND you don't have trouble finding this sort of skirt then it's worth leaving behind. If it's a style you've looked for in the past that was tough to find or fit, then it may be worth grabbing for those days when ladylike does strike you.

Mia

Veteran

This is very good observation. I have learned to leave things that look great but don"t "feel like me". Love that skirt but trust your instinct.

MsLuna

Veteran

Wow that skirt looks amazing on you!

As for style vs what fits, first ask yourself: do you love it? Will it work with the rest of your wardrobe?

One way I can suggest to make this work with your style is through accessories and signature wardrobe pieces! If you have a signature jacket and some accessories that are very "you", combine them with the skirt!

Echo

Veteran

If it is possible, I would buy this skirt and take it home to see how well it plays with the rest of your wardrobe. You might find that a leather jacket and the right shoes can change the look enough to make it work for you. If not, then don't keep it just because it loves you. If you don't love it back, you won't reach for it. A flattering orphan is still an orphan in the end.

Caro in Oz

Veteran

Initially, I never go by how something looks. I always start with how it feels. If it doesn't feel right then I know from bitter experience I'll either never wear it or if I do I'll feel uncomfortable.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Well I love the skirt in principle, and I love it on you. But to address the question, I do not have the long limbs and overall height to wear a lot of things that I might otherwise love but I try to do what I can. On the other hand, I don't wear some things that might make me look slimmer because that is not my prime goal when I get dressed. Which is not to say I don't care about figure flattery but it is weighed with other things and usually doesn't come out on top.

FlamesAndAngelWings

You look amazing in the skirt! Don't sacrifice comfort for something that matches your body shape and not your style. (Possibly worded that wrong.) What I'm trying to say is find things that match how your individual style is and match your shape at the same time. You'll feel much more confident and won't be second guessing yourself.

Gigi

Veteran

Rute, I'm a little confused about your response to the skirt. Do you like it ONLY because it looks good on you? Or do you also have an emotional response to it in your heart, but you didn't buy the skirt simply because it wasn't your style?

I think that if you liked the skirt ONLY because it looked good on you, you are better off not buying it unless it fills some kind of functional hole in your wardrobe. For instance, maybe you need a skirt this length and have a hard time finding anything that fits, and this skirt happens to check off all the checkboxes, as it were. But if you liked the skirt not just because it looked good but also because you had an unexplainable emotional reaction to it in your heart (in other words, it made you really happy inside), I would probably buy it because maybe it will take your style in a different direction. I think our personal style is always developing, and maybe this is a sign that a change is coming around the corner for you (?).

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