Omg, Bennett. That's the best story ever. I'm thinking MIL thought that was the best sweater set ever. Clearly everyone got one

With the exception of my grandmother, who regularly gives me rhinestone dolphin jewelry that would have been a hit with me 25 years ago, most folks seem to recognize my style: I've received a number of comments like "that looks just like you" or "surely you've always had that." I wonder if it depends on the breadth of your wardrobe/ style preferences - mine are fairly cohesive and so I am often wearing a variation of other items that make me happy. . .

It's funny. I met up with a close male friend of mine at the Pru the other night to grab dinner after we'd done separate errands, and while we were there we wandered into the new Shinola store. (Which is absolutely gorgeous btw if you're into the Vintage Industrial vibe, even though the only thing I could reasonably afford in there is, like, a notebook.) We were drooling over the watches and leather goods, but he noticed he couldn't predict at all which I'd like best. He said something like, "You're really good at knowing what's my style and I'm really crappy at knowing what's yours."

I ~think~ that most of the time it's not that we aren't projecting what we think we're projecting or whatever, it's that most people are crap at correctly identifying other people's style. You need a certain eye for it, a talent, as well as an interest in fashion or design. That's why we have talented professionals like Angie and gifted amateurs like us Fabbers Every time I get a deeply misguided gift from someone who honestly thought I should love it, I remind myself that a lot of people just don't have the knack.

My friends and family (at least those that matter) are pretty good at pinpointing my style, but they're often just a little off on colors. Everyone knows I like and wear autumnal colors, but I end up with a lot of bright reds and pumpkin oranges that sit unworn in my closet until I quietly give them away. I'm pickier about specific shades than people think.

Bennett, that is a awful/horrific but funny in a very black way moment!! What a shock.

I can pick some people's style for gifts quite easily but others can be a lot harder. And like Jenn, I am a bit picky on some colours, especially pinks, oranges and reds, and whites (I don't like a blue undertone on me).

I think some of it is interest/power of observation. I am not brilliant for example when it comes to cars/technology or jewelry - I often just do not notice. One of my friends always notices new rings or earrings - it is her thing!

Is not the point of one's own style being something that is not a refection or a response to the gaze of others? Therefore seriously bull shit anyway?

Bennett, that is awful/hilarious!

My dear late mom had a pretty good idea of what I would like. But she always preferred to shop with me anyway. However, when it came to buying presents for my two nieces, she had a weird knack for getting one totally right and one totally wrong. We still laugh about it to this day. The niece who always got the "wrong" things always "forgot" to pack the poorly chosen item when she would go back home.

Archer, I am not sure what part of that you mean is BS. I think an individual's own style can very much be something that comes from deep personal expression, but we don't live in a vacuum -- as many have said in this thread here, we often dress to suit the occasion, audience, or societal norms. I think it's really hard to unravel the internal and external factors.

I think the thing is, we don't merely want others to like us: we want them to know us and like it.

Rachy, so true. We want to be seen, known, recognized...

On the whole I think Tex and Andrea are right -- it takes a person who's quite aware of style and design or at least interested in it to really "get" one's style.

But sometimes even interest in style won't guarantee it. I have a good friend, a poet, whose own style is a sort of funky rocker chic. Something like that. Very eclectic and a bit edgy but also feminine. And quite embellished and maximal. She's really tall, and she wears it all so incredibly well! She looks amazing.

Anyway, we were looking at bags together one day and I recall she recoiled at one I picked out as "far too plain" for me.

No, it wasn't. It was too plain for her. For me, it was (almost) plain enough.

Interesting thoughts, as always.
I think sometimes, as in my mom's case, the other person in kinda frozen in a past perception. Since I never wore heels when I was in University, for several valid reasons, she assumes I don't wear heels now either.
Other times, as someone mentioned, people see you only in one specific context, so it's more difficult to grab the different shades in one's style.
Besides, figuring out one's style,it really takes at least a basic understanding of fashion.

Clothes don't form a conscious, high resolution picture for a lot of people. I will say things like remember the guy in the yellow shirt and folks wii be *no*. And I myself - well, I like to talk about my attention blindness. I can so easily walk into a store and come out with yet another puff sleeve top and red/blue plaid shirt. This is misleading because it's not a matter of personal style, my wearing this stuff. It's a byproduct of poor shopping skills. There are rather a lot of things, IMO, that can get in the way of execution and expression.