Fashion and my love for clothes has been a big bone of contention between my husband and I since the day we were married. As in , we would have more money if.....blahblahblah. He's not wrong at all. Now, he does compliment me frequently, but it's random and I cannot always figure out why and what for , specifically. I do know he'd much rather have a wife who didn't care as much about being "in style" and wearing expensive clothes, and he used to wish I would wear more stereotypically sexy clothes (jeans, tight t-shirts, etc). We've reached a detente of sorts, where questions and comments about my clothes are off-limits, unless it's a positive comment. Too fraught with history, and a recipe for one of us ending up feeling miserable (usually me). I know I probably disappoint him in not being as in shape as I should be, and don't look great in a swimsuit anymore, but, what can you do? As I type this, I now recall that the compliments usually come when I'm really dressed up - in a dress or skirt with heels. In terms of particular styles though - I don't a have any idea any more, and have stopped worrying about it. I place enough pressure on myself trying to look presentable that worrying about what he thinks would never get me out of the house. I am what I am.

Hi everyone, thanks for replying! I had fun reading through your answers. Unfortunately I made the mistake of starting a thread when I don't have time to answer everyone (I've got a paper due tomorrow). Doh. I will next time!

Vesperholly, your comment made me laugh out loud. Garters are not everyday wear for me, lol. (Perhaps for dress-up...)

krishnidoux, I'm not having trouble finding the right shade. I just know there was discussion a year or so ago about whether or not nude hose are frumpy. I can't remember what the verdict was. What I do know is that the ones I have match my white legs and don't look frumpy to me.

Staysfit, my husband does notice my appearance, I think, but normally doesn't comment, because, like yours, he doesn't think it should be important. I know he's aware of looks because he's got an artist's eye (and a sense of style for himself). Once in a while he'll compliment an outfit, but he's a feminist and he thinks that we (society as a whole) judge women on how they look too much -- more than we judge men -- and he thinks it's a problem. So he doesn't go there.

Isabel -- turtleneck that looks like a ruff -- hahahahaaaa funny!

Shiny -- baboon butt jeans -- excellent! That's what I'm going to call them now.

Rabbit -- oh gosh no -- I'm pretty sure my marriage is like yours in terms of us seeing each other in not our best moments. He watched me give birth twice, which is the height of grossness (fluids! blood!). It's just that my husband so rarely comments on something he doesn't like, so I remember it when he does. And one time, years ago, he commented that he thinks nylons are super unsexy, but it wasn't because I generally wore them at the time, or that I should endeavour to look sexy all the time, or wear sexy undergarment every day. (see what I said to Staysfit above).

The only thing that spooks my husband is anything resembling a girdle. Traumatic memories of his mother's underwear hanging over the shower curtain rod, it seems . . .

My hubby is aware of what I wear and he compliments me frequently when I do dress up, especially when I wear classic silk blouses. Years ago he confessed he has a kind of fetish for that fabric+garment combination... think of Ann Taylor legacy blouse that I had no clue about at the time. It wasn't part of my style, too formal for me, not really fashionable today and also I wasn't sure about the sheen... but I gave it a shot just to please him. It keeps not being my style, but it drives him SO crazy I can't refuse, and after all I have to admit I don't look bad at all!

I am endlessly fascinated by this topic and am a believer in dressing for my husband, at least in part. HOWEVER, I can relate to lisap in that what my husband seems to like seems relatively random and indecipherable. For example, he encourages me to dress 'more funky' but once e.g. I came home with a cool black pleather sleeveless fitted top from Guess, and a blue-and-gray striped v-neck t-shirt on sale at Gap, and he hated the top and loved the t-shirt. So I think at the end of the day he likes jeans and fitted tops, which is fine with me since that's what I like anyway.

Sometimes he will come out with an odd comment such as "you look cute with those dungarees on" which I don't know what he's even talking about since I haven't had "dungarees" since I was 5. So I love him but suspect he hasn't a blessed clue what he is talking about

He is scared of short hair though, and suspicious of scarves (which is too darn bad because I like them) - I think his main concern is that I don't end up looking like a frumpy mom. Which is also annoying. Am I venting now? Sorry ....

Is it bad that I have NO IDEA? My DH is traditional in his tastes and I am not. I know he finds my sweatpant jeans horrible yet fascinating (secretly covets them!). Other than that, I don't dress him, he doesn't dress me. Off to read the thread now!

Nope I would not factor in my husband's tastes when dressing.

This is an old thread that's been revived, but I'm still interested to read your comments.

Torontogirl -- "my husband is suspicious of scarves" LOL great way to put it!

Una -- "horrible yet fascinating" sweatpants jeans -- I think a lot of men find "hybrid" garments alarming!

Just ran into this old thread and wanted to give it a second (or third) chance.

In the almost 30 years we've been married, my DH has never commented negatively about what I wear. When we were dating, however, he did comment about a blouse that he thought was too sheer and about some gaucho pants that he didn't like.

My boyfriend is funny in that he pays no attention to his own clothes or what he wears (before we met, anyway- he has improved in this), and quite a bit of attention to what I wear. It's always compliments, but by those I can see what he likes. He actually lives the feminine boho stuff- lace, flowy, romantic stuff. He also likes things that show off a specific part of my body- a good fitting pair of jeans, a top with a nice neckline, etc. I do take his taste into consideration because he does the same for me. He allows me to basicly pick out his clothes for him, and I appreciate that. He understands that appearance is important to me.

It took me a long time to figure out (because he didn't have fashion vocabulary words or fashion philosophy) to figure out that my husband dislikes swing dresses and swing tops, most blouson waists, me in a belt, and likes heels and sheath dresses and pencil skirts. And lace. He really likes lace, it turns out. I mostly want to please him, and I really like heels (which like my feet) and sheath dresses, and pencil skirts like my shape, so this isn't a problem. If I buy something I know he's going to hate or not like, it does influence the amount of money I'm willing to spend. Mostly, what pleases his eye pleases mine, and if I'm on the fence or hesitating, his like or dislike is a convenient deciding vote.

I discovered one day after about two years of dating my BF, when I asked for his opinion on an old top that I was on the fence about keeping, that he LOATHED the thing and had just never said anything before. It was an "interesting" avant-garde type top with two attached layers. I donated that top, anyway, since I was on the fence to begin with; but I don't always adhere to his taste.

For example, another item he hates is lipstick. He doesn't like makeup in general, but he hates lipstick. Unfortunately, I don't like makeup EXCEPT lipstick. So I continue to wear my beloved lippies when I fancy, although I won't wear it on dates.

One thing my boyfriend really likes is heavy make up. I don't, and don't normally wear it heavy, but now sometimes I go heavier when we are going out.