Young looks getting in the way? - YouLookFab Forum

Category

General

Welcome! Read about what to wear and how to wear it on the YLF Blog. Join the YLF Forum to ask specific questions or just chat about fashion and personal style. Or check out the curated list of things we love in YLF Finds.

Outfits Ensembles Trends Advice

Young looks getting in the way?

Gigi

Veteran

Have you ever felt like youngish-looking facial features get in the way of following your stye inspirations? I know I haven't ever posted a pic here (I have no camera, believe it or not!), but suffice it to say that I look like a brunette E (hope you don't mind my using you as an example, E!). I am also quite short (5'2") and small boned. Anyway, I have always been described as "cute," and I feel somewhat pigeonholed. I would like to experiment with edgier fashion, such as leather pieces, a bit of hardware, etc., but I feel like my youthful looks are really incongruent with such outfits. It just looks weird, like a little girl wearing her older sister's clothes. I guess I feel like I don't even look like a grown-up! Does anyone else have problems with this? Any suggestions for dealing with it?

General

37 replies

Latest reply was from Gigi

ironkurtin

Veteran

Nope. Chase your muse I say.

adorkable

Veteran

Short answer: absolutely.

Long answer: I am short, small-boned, and have a bit of a baby face. It's only in the last few years that I've started looking my age (30) at all; until I was about 26 or 27, I had chubby cheeks that made me look like I was about 15. For me the issue isn't so much incongruity as a concern about being taken seriously in academic and professional contexts. (I know that I know my crap, but others don't.)

If anything, looking young makes me less likely to dress in a young styles!

AJ

Veteran

I look younger than my years and when I first started learning to dress my shape and try new looks, it did seem off for both myself and those who knew me. However as my style confidence grew, I became comfortable and when you feel it, others come around too.

Greyscale

Veteran

A haircut can make a huge difference. I got an edgy cut to fight my tendency to look very sweet and young. My round face did change around 30 to be thinner and sharper, which I appreciate.

But I suspect a lot of this is also in your perception of yourself. I wonder if the rest of us would see you the way you see yourself.

rae

(website)

Veteran

I don't think I've ever looked sweet or cute, lol. It would have been nice to have the option!

I think what Greyscale said makes a lot of sense... I mean they use very young girls in modeling campaigns all the time and make them look older and edgier. I say experiment away and see what happens!

rabbit

Veteran

I can see how someone might have a self-image dis-congruity. But it doesn't look weird to me at all. I think of Christina Ricci, and (although she's fictional, and really is a kid) Arya Stark, as extreme examples and have no problem with a combination of fierce and round-faced/youthful looking. Like Greyscale I think sometimes hairstyle makes a bigger difference than clothes. There are also several of female musicians who embody this and rock hard ;).

LoveSarahDub

(website)

Gigi, By your description, I'd say we definitely have similar body types. I'm 5'3" and all-around petite, but that doesn't necessarily dictate my style (Which is definitely edgy! Lots of leather, studs and plenty of black. Go for it, girl!) because regardless of my short stature, I choose what I like and own it, even if it means my jeans ALWAYS too long! Ironically, despite my smaller size, I tend to go 'the Bigger the Better': handbags, sunglasses, hair, cocktail rings, watches-I always go bigger and it somehow works for me.

But I wonder when you say young facial features, do you mean you just naturally look young? If so, then I can relate there, too! I'm 26, and it's not like I look 12, but without makeup I could probably pass for late teens. Now me going totally makeup free is rare, but I don't pile on a full smokey eye daily anymore, either. My go-to routine is a small layer of foundation, winged thick black eyeliner (creme liner is my favorite) a dash of light silver at the corners for a hint of brightness, lots of black mascara and a little bronzer. While simple, it is definitely bold (adjusting the thickness of the liner would lessen this) and I get carded a whole lot less But if you know that harsh black liner and super extended eyelashes are SO not who you are, there's definitely natural, easy little tricks that will still make you look confident in whatever you choose to wear!

My advice is no matter what style trends you want to embrace, do it in your own way and do it with confidence. You know what works on you, so just try various updates against your staples, and own it!

CocoLion

(website)

Veteran

I can't stop thinking, that I have the EXACT opposite problem… that my old face/looks are getting in the way of the true style I wish to express.

Lyn D.

Veteran

(I have never thought that about your face Denise!)
We are our own worst enemy and harshest critic I think.
I say wear what you want to wear, in years to come you will want your fresh face back

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I'm with IK and Denise. I always found it easier to look older than younger (I could sometimes pass for 18 when I was 14). But then I'm looking at the big 50 in a year and a half, so I'm inclined to think that anyone who looks naturally young should enjoy it! It's way easier to adopt a style that conveys maturity than to recapture lost youth!

Joyce B

Veteran

I can understand what you are saying that when you are young if your features make you look younger it can get in the way.
From my perspective it would be a nice problem to have.
Maybe trying different clothing options and hairstyle can help, as was suggested by others.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I just realized that my earlier response was more flippant than helpful -- sorry about that! I do think that someone with a "young" appearance can toughen up or mature their look by playing with elements of edgier style that appeal to that individual. I think it might just be a case of experimenting and letting your eye adjust to seeing yourself in new looks. Go for it!

Lavinia

Oh my gosh! Yes, yes and yes! It's like you were describing me, Gigi!
I can totally relate. I turned 30 in August but I still have a baby face and small stature. The main problem for me isn't so much with clothes as it is with being taken seriously - I'm in the same boat as adorkable in this regard.

However, since I'm back at working from home this is not a big issue anymore. No one can see how old I look, when I am sending my projects by e-mail

I kind of made peace by now with how I look and wear whatever I like: I love pink and blush, florals, vintage bags, but also pleather dresses/jackets, military inspired shirts, dresses, liquid leggings etc.

I think it's safe to say that I don't overthink this issue as much as I did just a couple of years back. Actually, I am kind of relieved that I am old enough now where I can take being mistaken for younger as a compliment.

I think you just need to get used to seeing yourself in edgier things - and don't forget Angie's No.1 rule: HAVE FUN IN THE PROCESS!

Btw: I drew my inspiration and confidence from petite bloggers such as Jean from extrapetite.com and other Asian bloggers (I hope this term is not offensive, I can't think of the PC English word, sorry), who usually have rounder and younger looking faces.

In fact, Jean has a great article on this topic: http://www.extrapetite.com/201.....er-in.html

Anonymous

Gigi, I don't really have any advice, but I definitely relate! Frankly, I used to worry about this a lot more back when I was a teenager who looked like a little kid and a 20-something who looked like a teenager, but am kind of enjoying it now that I look more or less like an adult no matter what. Which is kind of shallow, but there you go.

And I think the juxtaposition of edgier clothing on someone fresh-faced or conventionally "cute" is really striking, so I'd say you should just go for it!

Denise, I don't think you look old at all! I actually remember being a little surprised when I saw you mention your age somewhere because I'd been assuming you were younger.

modgrl

(website)

Veteran

A couple of things have helped me overcome this issue. I wear a little bit of makeup most days. I also stay away from the Juniors section and try to buy things that are a little bit better quality and fit perfectly. That means being more picky and patient. These are not two of my stronger qualities, so it has been a challenge sometimes! Also shopping in the petite section means that clothes that are meant for adults, not teenagers, are actually proportioned for me. I understand many petites can get away with wearing regular, not petite clothes, but at 5' tall, I am not one of them.

ramya

Veteran

I am soon to be 29. Most people donot believe it. I don't know why.
But I am termed as cute as well.
My dress style is classic and now I have given up on what people think my age is.

Emily

Veteran

Gigi, I relate. I've always been on the petite end (5'4") and have been described as having a youthful face. I got pretty hung up on it, especially straight out of college and trying to be taken seriously at work, and I believe it was to my detriment style-wise. Wear what you like and own the look.

Diana

Veteran

I totally sympathize with you! I have always looked younger than my actual age, especially in the US. (IMO a lot of us of East Asian heritage tend to look on the young or at least age-indeterminate side).

I agree that a haircut is the easiest way to add a little edge. I look a lot younger with long hair. I have also worn glasses pretty much my entire life and have never worn contacts because specs make me look older and more serious.

I don't really think the fact that I look young has affected my style (at least not more so than the fact that I am short, or pear-shaped, or whatever) but I am quite self-conscious of it, particularly in a professional setting, and it does to some extent determine how I choose to express that style. I work in an academic lab where there are all sorts of ages from undergrads to professors and everything in between, and I get mistaken for a grad student way too often. I will do things like wear a blazer if I need to make it clear that I am not a student. I'm sure that once I get to the professor level this will be even more of an issue for me.

Suzanne (ambergreen)

Veteran

I have used edge for years to combat the problem of appearing too young myself, and it does help (I don't worry about it much anymore at my age, and plus, I also work at home now...but dealing with others' perception issues was absolute heck in my 20s).

I've never felt there was a clash between me and my edge. It may just depend on the pieces, their fit, and whether your eye has adjusted? As you say, you're only beginning to experiment. Head-to-toe edge can look costumey on anyone, but you could try adding it with maybe one or two items per outfit. (And they don't all have to be black, like we were mostly limited to in the past, outside of some horrible 80s overly colorful mistakes). For instance, edgy boots and bracelet, but no moto jacket...things like that. You know, try it as a "seasoning."

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Gigi, I've been trying to come up with a helpful answer to this question.

For years (all through my teens, twenties, and thirties) I had a very youthful "fresh-faced" kind of look that sometimes made people pigeonhole me as younger. And I DID find that it affected my style. I would try certain things (e.g. leather jackets) and just feel stupid in them. As you say -- like a little kid playing in someone else's closet. It wasn't just that I was "out of my comfort zone." Tough, harsh, heavy, and overly detailed or super high contrast clothing just didn't suit me.

So I guess it's a question of how comfortable you feel experimenting beyond what flatters. What flatters depends on more than just body type -- it's also to do with facial features, colouring, manner. If style is the perfection of a point of view, we have to bring our full selves into the equation.

Still, I think experimentation is key and it's okay to have fun and make mistakes, because otherwise, how are you going to learn what you love and what does work on you? When I joined YLF I bought all kinds of crazy items. Not crazy in themselves -- just crazy for me, in retrospect. Heck, I'm still experimenting and failing (I'm looking at you, orange pants).

Ultimately, I'd say if you want to add a bit of edge, look first to haircut and specs (if you wear those) and then to footwear and bags as a great start. Jackets are also great, but might be trickier.

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

I've never had this issue - I'm tall and broad boned, so my issue was that when I was a kid I was always mistaken for older than I was - when I was in middle school someone thought I was in college! But I have friends who are petite or Asian and they've remarked about this issue. I think edge is a good idea if it's your style, and then otherwise make sure everything looks 'grown-up' and not cheap or juniors.

Side note: sometimes people are just oblivious. When I had super-short hair people were constantly calling me sir and thinking I was a guy in situations like grocery shopping or getting coffee, i.e. a quick glance up. I may be tall and at the time had short hair, but I've got pretty obvious female characteristics all over the place, so...

Gigi

Veteran

Wow, this has been so therapeutic! I didn't realize so many people struggle with this, although I will say that I was wondering in advance whether certain of you would post. :^) I am 40, so the problem isn't as bad as it has been, but sometimes you just want to feel like a grown-up. I remember when I was 16, I went with my mom to Perkins for lunch, and the waitress brought me crayons and a placemat to color. She was apparently so confident of my little-girl status that she didn't even bother to ask my age! It was humiliating for me then, but funny now. I said to my mom, "I'm old enough to drive a car, and she's bringing me crayons?" :^)

I will just carry on and give my eye time to adjust. I did get a bit of a tweak to my haircut last time, to try growing out some sideswept bangs rather than my usual "wispy" bangs. I think that is helping.

I don't wear makeup but just had a makeup consult, so I am going to start wearing some, which sounds like it will help too. I'm sure as I start experimenting with it, I will discover ways to apply it, or colors to use, that will make me look more serious.

I do work at home, like some of you, so it's not as much of a problem anymore. But it's irritating to feel the "oh, you're just such a sweet, cute little girl" vibe even when out shopping or running errands! Argh!

And Denise, you do not look old! In fact, when I first saw your post (before reading it), I said, "Ah, Cocolion. She does have a youthful appearance, doesn't she? No wonder she's chiming in!"

TraceyLiz65

(website)

Veteran

At 48, I have always looked younger, something I inherited from my mother. I try to balance my style preferences to compensate. I love shorter skirts for instance but steer away from shoes teens might sport. I also steer away from kitchy prints but infuse lots of color and patterns. As a mother of a 27 year old son and 22 year old daughter, it is a balancing act and I think my DD isn't sure I get it right always...

DonnaF

Veteran

Experiment with whatever you like! I am 5'1" with a round face, nearly 61, and my hairdresser calls me *cute* as I push him to give me an edgier look! Gr-r-r-r. I really like stompy footwear and I wanted Doc Marten Marissa sandals to edge up my look and thought my stocky legs would balance the heavy look. Alas, they are too much shoe for me. Something to consider as you explore that territory.

Actually, IMHO, veering toward edgy may be a better alternative than veering toward twee. Betsey Johnson may be in her 70s, but at a certain point or wearing too much of her stuff IMHO can look a bit like the film, "What Ever Happened to Baby Jane."

rachylou

Veteran

Yes... Had some problems wearing chucks and hair up in a ponytail... it's just not good when high school boys hit on you. And I think Miley Cyrus (sp?) is an example of how baby face... or duck face... can get in the way of looking tough and sophisticated.

I agree with Tracey... short skirts, no teen shoes. Teen shoes, don't show leg. Also, going easy on the ornamentation on every front.

Echo

Veteran

I have always looked "cute" instead of the older and more sophisticated pretty or beautiful. I am shorter of stature and I probably couldn't look tough if I tried, but that never defined my style. Indeed, I think edgy goes better with my looks because of the juxtaposition. We celebrate juxtaposition when people wear things that aren't "supposed" to go together in fashion, why not celebrate it with our looks, too? And I've never felt like my stature got in the way, either (except that all the pants I want to buy are too long!), because I tend to be very confident in who and what I am. You can only be pigeon-holed by your own assumptions. If others categorize you without getting to know you first, they do it at their own peril (or at least that's how I've always thought about it)!

Anonymous

I remember feeling this. In my mid-twenties to about 35, all summer long I would be asked if I was the summer intern! Ugh. I hated that. I had worked hard to get to my position and to be dismissed was infuriating. I cut my long straight hair to a short more mature look. Along with a little make-up the comments became less. I hated it though. I referred to it has my soccer mom hair, lol. I still get comments that I look younger than I am but considering I will be 40 in a few months I will take it.

If you want to look more edgy I think it needs to be the whole package otherwise you risk looking like it is not authentic. Hair and makeup are a good place to start. I doesn't have to be drastic, maybe hair to points instead of rounded. I think a young face and small frame can be a great juxtaposition to an edgy look.

rae

(website)

Veteran

Coming back to this after some thinking... my sister and I are prone to what is known around the internet as "b*tchface." Pretty much the opposite of a cute babyface, lol. I think the both of us make a conscious effort to look more approachable for our jobs, wearing prettier fabrics, colors, jewelry, soft makeup colors. So it seems like the opposite should go for you! Edgier or severe makeup to go with the edgier clothes that may feel strange on you without it. And the hair, for sure.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Lol Rae! I have Bitchy Resting Face. It's why I generally try to smile for photos. I look old and cranky when my face is at rest. Sigh.

12