Una, in February I started a new aspect of my job which in my mind required that I dress much more conservatively. (Nobody required it of me. And I still believe it.) I had to dress this way two days a week and before long I was so sick of my clothes. Not to mention that I now had three work capsules going: (1) two days of extra conservative; (2) two days of normal work clothes; (3) casual Friday clothes.

For me the answer was buying more clothes that fit as "more conservative" but that felt less frumpy to me. So for me this was buying menswear patterned pants and silk blouses in interesting colors or patterns, to go with jackets I already had. This kept me from hating my look.

I don't know if any of this is applicable to your situation, but I shared it because I was able to go from hating getting dressed on those days to happy.

Hi alaskagirl,

I don't know you, but I really understand your problem. I am now retired, but I had a career for over 40 years in a conservative field (Information Technology). When I started working, pantyhose had just been invented and they all bagged at the knee so most women didn't wear them. We wore a garter belt and hose or, even worse, a girdle... yes. a girdle... and hose. Yes, even in the very hot New York summer. Sometime in the early 1970's, the women in my company signed a petition to the president asking him to please give us permission to wear pant suits to the office (he agreed). A few years later when I worked for a major news magazine, I was told to hang out in Saks Fifth Avenue to observe how women with real class dressed.

When I think about this now, it makes me really angry. But at the time I adjusted and complied with each request. And I'm really glad I did. I had a wonderful career with a great deal of interesting work. The clothes were a side issue.

I guess that brings up the question of the importance of clothes. Are they the major focus of your life, or are they a means to an end? Only you can answer that question.

I'm with Mo (no surprise there). I just think of work clothes as a uniform. Note I will never post a picture of a work WIW. Or for that matter, even my at-home outfits. I post one or two outfits a week, which is just about how often I can dress unrestricted without thinking about my job or things like dog hair or hay getting in my clothes. These occasions are things like dinner with a friend or a movie (wow, I know). The rest of the week I express my style in a minor way. Accessories, the fit and feel of a garment that gives me pleasure. I actually think you have a less restricting uniform than I do as a server, so I'm kind of envious. I think what's important is just don't give up. I kind of imagine Alaska to be like the California mountains where giving up is the order of the day. Fortunately I live in a tolerant place (at least where style is concerned) and don't feel judged for not giving up.

Such an interesting thread Una!

I don't know if I have anything to add but I relate to how you feel. For the purposesof fitting in, being relatable and taken seriously (to a point) a more modern classic style works, however while I like modern classic and can work it, it's not 100% me. I am coming to terms with the fact that I really have one style for work and one for non work,,,they meld at times but can be quite different. I am learning to just accept that:)

I definitely relate regarding not feeling like you can express yourself at work. But I think you are on the right track. I can't remember the title of the thread now, but I remember commenting on one of your first "corporate" outfits that had leopard, studded footwear, a chunky belt, etc. None of those things was so extreme as to be out of place in a corporate environment, but taken together they really made the outfit feel more like you.

I make a bit of a game out of figuring out where I can sneak in bits of my personality and not have people notice. Bejeweled fly necklace? Check. Scarf that appears to be floral print but is actually skulls and icky bugs? Check. Same with comfort. I own an embarrassing number of jersey blazers. They look pretty dressy, but they feel like PJs. Maybe you can try similar tactics? You won't feel completely stifled, and it's almost fun if you pretend you're undercover.

Hmmm. What a great topic, Una. This really made me think. I've never struggled with toning down my work wear to make it appropriate for my environment. My first reaction was to say that it was because I've always seen it as a uniform that I put on for work. But I think there is more to it. I think that a big contributor for me is that my style is by default classic. Because of that, I fit easily into the professional work wear mold. I used to joke that I went to law school because I liked to tell people what to do, I liked to be right, and I wanted to play dress up every day. I like dressing in my professional clothes. They feel comfortable because they fit well and they feel like me because they are classic styles. There isn't some part of me being suppressed. My struggle is more to keep my classic style current and interesting. I'd never thought about it, but that default classic style is actually a luxury for a work setting. (But a drag sometimes for weekend wear.)

K, are you me? "I like being right, and I like dressing up!" YES!

I also often think that I am fortunate to work in one of the last bastions of business (semi-)formal dressing because I, too, love to dress up for work. And I love being one of the most senior players in my little corner of the world, because I can get away with wearing things like leather pencil skirts or sky-high leopard-print ankle-strap pumps that might be a little suspect on a more junior person.

For somebody whose style doesn't fit into her workplace quite as naturally, I think FlorenceFearne has some great ideas!

This is a good question, esp. for me because as a contractor I change venues regularly. I don't have any answers. I'd like to not go on crazy shopping sprees every time... but here I am once again. I'm feeling a need for suits, but to not abandon Quirky Waif...

You still look anything but stodgy or frumpy to me! I think it may be more that you are aware of some constraints or dress code issues now and just need to feel that's not some kind of sell-out.

Honestly, this may sound funny, but it's a rare photo series on this forum that I consider conservative professional dressing, at least the way I define it, even from folks who say they work in conservative environments! So I get kinda tickled at the feelings of style constraint, even while sympathizing. At the same time, all the envelope-pushing gives me some great ideas about what could still work in my environment that I had not thought of, since there is neither technically a dress code nor an expectation for a "corporate" look.

I think the outfits you've been posting are pretty great and show you are getting more in sync with the leeway you do have, and so maybe will kind of find your groove. Put your energy toward finding or re-mixing the things you still love that just happen to fit in to your work anyway. Then also remember all of the non-work time (well, what there is of it!) where you can dress completely for yourself, or feel that way, anyway..

I don't so much feel suppressed by workwear codes as feeling I want to experiment without ending up looking inappropriate for how I would like to project myself at work. I also try to remember that work is work, and a great goal is to plan lots more non-work activities so I can wear more fun stuff there!

I'm reading with interest and don't have much to add to the very intriguing discussion. My one thought I keep coming back to is Angie's "happiness factor." Sometimes the outfits that make me happiest aren't necessarily the most stylish ones. Like, I'll choose to wear a pair of shoes that I love with an outfit even if it isn't the pair of shoes that would put the outfit into "killer" territory. So maybe there are ways to work in "high happiness factor" elements in your work outfits that may not be recognizably your most authentic style.

Una, I may be totally off base. However, do you want to know what I am hearing?

I'm hearing, "I don't know if I like how my time has been reorganized. Sure, having larger chunks at a time off is great, but not having as much daily or weekly time off means that all of the regular doldrums of life get packed into my little bit of time off, or build up and make a big presence known when I finally get my chunk of time off." Maybe even so far as hearing, "I feel like I don't have a life while I'm working because of my schedule, but when I'm off I'm playing catch up and am really having to pick and choose what I fit in. I get so busy during my work periods that I don't have an opportunity to get a break from MOM me and LAWYER me and just be UNA."

While I would love to say that you just need to dress more kick-ass at work, somehow I don't think that is it. In all honestly, to my ear it sounds like you need some UNA time outside of the gym during your workweek, and an occasion or two when you have time off also set aside as your time . . . time when you get to dress like yourself and not worry about any of the other stuff and do something you enjoy.

When all you feel like you have the time for is the outdoors, cleaning, and work that says something. IMO, the only one of those three that is negotiable is the cleaning, so maybe it is time to discuss it with the hubs or think about hiring someone. You work hard and deserve to have time to breathe.

Very interesting. I can see that you are conflicted. Lots of great advice and comment. My only comment is that given time maybe you will be comfortable letting your true style come through more? The only experience I have with your profession is jury duty, and the lady attorneys I saw do dress very conservative, even in suburban south.