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When style isn't about self-expression

gradfashionista

(website)

Veteran

I sat down this weekend to type out an article about fabric. Instead, after seeing an article on Coveteur about why women need black stilettos, I ended up writing about when style isn't about expressing yourself.

Thinking about the tension between style and comfort had me thinking about what professional women on a day-to-day basis hope to get out of their outfit: are they most preoccupied with expressing who they are, or are they more concerned with something else (projecting confidence, adhering to a uniform, being comfortable, etc.)? How are these goals weighed against each other? In my case, I realized that my style goal wasn't to fully express myself, but to express myself just enough while prioritizing other goals.

Dressing

18 replies

Latest reply was from RobinF

Anonymous

Sigh. I work in a what was once predominantly male (school and office). I used my clothing as an amour to project competence, expertise, and professionalism. As more women entered my field, the need for amour subsided and my wardrobe softened. This combined with the age of casualization has left my work wardrobe undefined and in limbo. I'm working to firm that up in 2017.

LaPed

Veteran

Great essay. Like you, I tend to prioritize comfort when it comes to footwear in particular. I consider it a health issue, and avoid heels and pointy toes for the same reason I wouldn't wear a corset. I also only wear very unstructured bras, since I'm very prone to mastitis/plugged ducts. Again, health over fashion.

However, my other concerns on a daily basis are mobility and durability -- and these tend to go hand in hand with comfort. My own goals do tend to align with environmental/cultural norms where I live: I rarely feel over or under dressed.

Anonymous

Yeah, my goal when I'm dressing for work is not tied up in making sure I'm expressing myself. Well, at least not overtly and consciously. One could argue though that dressing is all about self expression at it's core, unless you are wearing a uniform, but I'm all about looking professional, fashion forward/sophisticated (because it is related to my job) and confident.

Style Fan

Veteran

When I was working I dressed to look professional and approachable. I worked in mental health settings as a therapist. I remember one of the physicians saying she didn't wear a suit but a jacket and pants that were unmatched. She felt this was a professional look but not overly authoritarian.
I also thought a lot about comfort. Sometimes I was on the floor with children. Pants were the norm in most of the places I worked. Very few people wore high heels.
I still think I expressed myself despite the restrictions on my style.

shedev

Veteran

I think that you are still expressing yourself, but you are expressing different facets of yourself. For example confidence, authority, or approachability. Either way, you are controlling the message you send.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I don't really see it as an either/ or. (That is largely because I am not working in a corporate environment and thus have a lot of freedom.) For me, it's about comfort/ practicality/ self-expression and the outfits I love best combine these attributes. They are fuss-free but current, polished, and they bring a smile to my face.

rachylou

Veteran

I'm pretty expressive - probably too much so to be one of the secret legions that run the world (anonymity is de rigeur, 'cuz like they're secret, right...)... but I pay a lot of attention to other things. Mandatory safety, of course, but also things like modesty, professionalism, authority, practicality. I'm not a boat rocker... but I look over the side to see the alligators

DonnaF

Veteran

Tomorrow I will be taking a client in for an agency interview. To an extent, I feel like I need to meet client, agency, and security checkpoint expectations of what an attorney looks like, but at least in my area at least half are female and many are Asian American and only the youngest dress business formal/Big Law.

That being said, I will be dressed slightly more formally than my preference and will probably wear the jacket below instead of my pleather moto vest. Since we've had so much rain (still puddles) and I'll be doing so much walking, I'll probably wear my black patent Dankso Pros instead of ruining something more professional looking that's less comfortable. I have another more formal but polyester black jacket that I can wear but the test will be which jacket is more comfortable under my trench.

Gotta add that I still rebel: Courtesy of Carter's link to Zoya nail polish, last night I HAD to try my new gray pixiedust -- which is kinda like gray sparkly sandpaper. I figured that gray looked like daytime and not club wear, right?

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Echo

Veteran

It very much depends on the profession and the position. I've definitely held positions where self expression came in almost dead-last behind looking professional, authoritative, etc. And while I realize many people disagree with this, there are positions where heels are almost non-negotiable.

I am quite lucky now because I work in a school district. The things that some people wear are quite casual (sneaks, jeans, yoga pants, shorts and flip-flops in the summer, etc.). Self expression without being totally out-of-bounds (which, admittedly, would be pretty far out) is how I dress now. I never wear any of the things listed above, so I already register as more "professionally" dressed than much of the staff, and I wear what makes me happy. I do, however, wear mostly comfortable shoes because the unspoken dress code doesn't call for heels.

In justification for some of the more casual clothing, teachers in the younger grades must wear things that allow them to run on the playground with students, sit on the floor, bend over, get messy, etc. And as for special needs teachers, they are gods in my eyes and ought to be able to wear whatever they d*mn well please for the things they deal with daily!

Irina

Veteran

Great post. Look forward to read more on your blog.
As for me, I would think I mostly express myself on weekends and not surprisingly, my favorite outfits include a pair of worn out jeans or a slightly wrinkled white linen shirt and oxfords. It is me, a minimalist who likes to combine crispy and casual in one go. But when I translate this to my work clothes, it looks and feels comfortable and eh, boring and it might be my expression of myself.
I often search for what is almost impossible to find - a pair of interesting shoes that I can wear painlessly and feel stylish. And yes, comfort takes over any notion of self expression, my twenties and thirties are long gone.

Anonymous

I like your thoughtfully written article. I'm blessed not to have to wear a suit or a uniform to work. Still, it's often a challenge to blend comfort with the style I wish to convey; but in the end, comfort always wins. I'm happy with my wardrobe because it works well for the job I have and for the chronic pain I contend with. I'd say it's not impossible to create a comfortable yet stylish wardrobe that expresses a little bit of who I am, but it does take work - and time.

UmmLila (Lisa)

Veteran

DonnaF's shoes can kick anyone's ass. Even if they're not black stiletto pumps.

shedev

Veteran

Echo, they are not that bad, at least not most of them. It comes down to relationships. I work with special needs clients. I mostly get to wear what I want. I take care that things I wear to work do not inhibit movement. I have my work children pretty well trained so I haven't had to physically restrain one in a long time. I do wear a lot of animal prints because my work daughter likes them.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

I have definitely dressed to project things other than myself. Sometimes I have dressed to withdraw myself actually.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I agree with shedev and Suz. It's not an either/or to me. Just making situation-appropriate versions of what feels like me.

Lucy

Veteran

Great article!
I've had to think a fair bit over the years. I'm an academic, so pretty much anything goes - I've worked with people who wear suits, others who wear bare feet (seriously!) But I had to work out what worked for me.
I'm short, blonde and not very authoritative looking! I have always looked younger than I am, so when I first started tutoring everyone would think I was a student. Even last month, I was with the grad student I mentor and I asked a question of a senior exec, and she responded as if I was the grad student and my student (who is 15 years younger!) was the mentor.
So I find it best if I dress for authority, especially week 1 and 2 of teaching. It's important for me to show authority over the political science students in particular, lol. So I tend to dress up and in dark colours. I generally wear heels for teaching - I literally can't see over some lecturns if I do not!
That said, I never wear things that aren't "me". I aim for polished and confident with a bit more authority than my weekend wear. My face is friendly so it seems to balance out.

unfrumped

Veteran

Right.
For work, environmental norm, " professionalism", authority but, in some contexts, a great deal of approachability rather than " power" per se; wearing a level of quality that I like but not sending a message that lots of $$ was spent. Sometimes there are things I could afford but I will not buy. Or things that attract comments or compliments might actually be the wrong way to go.

RobinF

Veteran

I think dressing is to a certain extent always a form of self expression. Even back when I had to wear a suit every day I wore suits that were "me", had a detail or color I particularly liked, or the blouse I wore said something about my style. I wouldn't choose to dress that way now but when it was expected of me I did it in a way that was an expression of me. I do agree that it seems like some people don't, whether they don't care enough or can't figure it out. But it seems like even that is saying something about them...