San,
Thanks for the compliments!
I actually never try perfume in a store, because, like you, after 2 different perfumes I cannot smell anything. What I recommend is to order several samples and try them at home, one perfume a day. I love http://theperfumedcourt.com/ - they offer samples and sets of samples and have the most amazing selection of both mainstream, boutique, and niche perfumes. Another good source is http://www.luckyscent.com/samples.asp - I never ordered from them because their shipping rates are higher, but they have a good selection.
Generally, perfumes are divided into several groups by their type: chypre (based on oakmoss), floral, oriental/spicy, fruity, animalistic, and their combinations. There are probably some others ... You can start by ordering a set of samples that covers several groups. Then, once you decide which group you like, you can proceed with ordering a set of samples from this group (for example, if you decide that you like floral, you can order a set of lavender-based, rose-based, jasmine-based, etc. perfumes). Or, you can order a set from a particular perfume house. Usually, each perfume house has its distinct base, which is present in all its perfumes. So, if you like several perfumes from a particular perfume house, there is a good chance that you will like others from the same house.
Come to think about it, maybe the best way to start is by reading this post: http://perfumeposse.com/2006/0.....-atomizer/
This blog is written by the same ladies who run theperfumedcourt, and they are very knowledgeable in perfumes. This post is "Perfume 101" - the best, most interesting, and, at the same time, accessible perfumes (accessible meaning that they are not too weird).
I do indeed put on perfume primarily for myself - I am being very careful not to overdose so that nobody can smell my perfume from more than two steps away. I am also careful not to spray any perfume on my clothes (most of my perfumes are samples in vials, without atomizer, so this is not a problem), because indeed the scent can linger on the clothes for several days. I put perfume on my wrists and behind my ears. Having said that, this winter I had a minor obsession with Chanel's 31 Rue Cambon (I finished my sample ... sniffing and wiping tears), so I put a little on my pashmina to be able to smell it during the day. But then I knew I will be using this perfume several days in a row.
Oh, and good perfume smells nothing like a candle shop. The scents are much more subtle and complex - no potpouri
Good luck San!! I am very curious which perfume(s) you will end up liking enough to buy full-size.