Shiny, I share your "sigh." I feel the same way about online shopping -- it's just so incredibly tedious compared to the ease of taking an armload of stuff to a dressing room. Reading between the lines, it sounds like being just plain tired is an undercurrent. Is there a way you could get yourself more rested in general, so that an hour at the mall on a Sunday afternoon sounded like fun again?

Either way, I feel you; being tired from a day at work on the computer and then having to use the same computer skills and techniques to hunt for clothes in the evening ...well, for me, there's no fun in that at all.

I sign up for store emails. They let me know about new arrivals, promotions and sales events.
I rarely purchase anything immediately, I come back the next day to be sure I really want it.
A glass of wine is very conducive to online shopping (See above).

If you are really not enjoying it and you can't find a way to make it fun, stick to bricks and mortar but maybe you could change your approach so that it works for you eg combine a morning shopping with meeting a friend for coffee.

I really appreciate all the tips shared here. I dont have many local options (just TJMaxx really a few others but not reliably) so I do a lot of online shopping. I cant seem to learn free shipping & returns no matter how hard I try. Gettng ti down to paying one way is acceptable to me. I will often order several sizes so I know ill be returning (paid or not) this removes the pressure to keep something not quite right versus to pay return shipping (since i know ill be paying it anyway up front).

Hey, this is actually becoming therapy, LOL.

Liz, I think you hit the nail on the head there.

Fuzzy, that was my old strategy - mall trips were a chance to socialize, whether with a friend or not, a nice break from working remotely all day long. But now I am traveling a lot, and having lots of social contact, and to be honest, I need days of downtime -- away from people! -- after each trip.

I guess I will eventually find my pace again and something that works, it's just that I need so much right now. And you know what? I think this thread just made me realize I am channeling my work anxiety (being new to a role etc) into clothes shopping anxiety! Well, I guess that's not such a bad strategy.

Thanks everyone!

Great advice upthread. One more - don't forget Twice Clothes (has been mentioned a couple times on other forum threads). Discount prices, petite & small sizes offered, cheerfully offer free returns no-questions-asked returns with a pre-paid USPS label. They charge $5 shipping, but many items can be found in their EBay store of the same name with free shipping, same return policy. (Yes, the price may be higher because of free shipping, but not always - some of their items are cheaper via their EBay outlet.) Checking the new arrivals page every day is a quick process filtered by your sizes, items, and colors (or even unfiltered by color). It's 2-day shipping, so extremely quick, and their customer service is always excellent.

Twice has free shipping on orders over $50, and I usually don't have a hard time managing that even if I end up returning some of it it saves me $. It's the first place I've regularly bought from secondhand online - I've never been an ebayer, it's not usually worth the bother for me. I tend to go with trusted brands / companies online, because I know how they tend to fit me and what sizes I probably am, not to mention return policies etc.

Shiny, it sounds like you need to shop, or rather, you need new clothes, but you just don't feel like shopping right now with everything else going on. Is there any way you could get someone else to do the shopping for you, or at least do a lot of the setup & research? Maybe a personal shopper from a department store or someone who does it independently?

On a more meta note, I find that this kind of thing can be optimized infinitely, but it's not always worth your time or energy - in other words, there's always more reviews to read, more money-saving strategies, etc. But it tends to follow the 80/20 principle - there are some quick fixes so you don't waste time and/or money, but pretty quickly your returns start diminishing while your time keeps getting used up. You mention redirecting anxiety and I do that myself - I'm stressed about something else that's not entirely under my control and so I fixate on something I feel like I can control, like shopping. It's a coping strategy but it doesn't mean there's actually anything horribly wrong with my (your?) shopping process either.

This has been fascinating to read.

My only online shopping rule is to shop from very reputable sites. It doesn't matter what I find at what price elsewhere - I will not purchase from an unknown small site because it's not safe to do so.

I also usually shop from places that offer free shipping - but don't have an apoplexy if I need pay for shipping occasionally - like the Karen Millen store.

Thanks, Angie. I rarely stress over free shipping -- when I consider everything that goes into shipping something to me, including environmental impact, I just don't expect it to be free. Honestly, I wish amazon would charge a fair price for shipping; then maybe they would pay their warehouse workers better. I always hesitate ordering from Amazon because of their deplorable practices and working conditions. I do not need the item fast, I'd rather receive it slower and know that the person packing it up for me was treated fairly. I think long and hard before I order anything from Amazon, but unfortunately, reality is these days if I want something that's the only place I can get it anymore. I mean, c'mon, Zappo's ships fast but workers get a competitive wage and are treated well. Why can't Amazon do the same? But I digress...

I do however tend to pause over having to pay for returns. That makes me grumble, because returns are nearly inevitable. But I don't bat an eye if it's something I'm 98% sure is going to fit, like an item I'm duplicating.

So I am happy to pay upfront for shipping but if you want me to try a new brand and order more (I'm looking at you, J Crew), please don't hit me with returns. That's akin to penalizing ME because you can't give me proper descriptions and measurements on your web site. Why should I pay for your fault at communicating exactly what the item for sale is???? It's quite possible that I could have great luck with J Crew online-only petites, but we'll just never know. It's just not worth ordering and taking that risk.

I order on-line even when there is a B & M store nearby, as on-line I can check the reviews. I also only order when shipping is free. If the store is near me I don't care about return shipping as I'll just take it back to the store. I usually order much the same way as I try on clothes in the stores - each item in two sizes.

I also won't order from any old website - it has to be from a major retailer, like Nordstrom, Zara, Zappos, etc.

Strategy? I guess my strategy is free shipping. I order from Nordstrom, Lands End, Zappos, Sierra Trading Post, and of course Amazon. Either they have free shipping, or I meet the minimum requirement. For a few of them I can return to B&M stores which is pretty free. The other day I was at Orvis and because I placed the order at the store, shipping was free (something for my husband).

I do fritter away a fair amount of time shopping on line, mostly in the evening when we're watching TV. For example, I was looking for a leather jacket, and I ordered from Nordstrom, Eddie Bauer, and Zappos (not all at once!) before finally finding one I liked from Sierra Trading Post. I also bought short boots online from Zappos but returned them for a better fitting pair from Macys. Lands End stuff I can return to Sears.

For some stores we have locally (I wish we had Nordstrom!) I'll shop online to see if they even offer what I'm looking for.

I haven't read all of the other responses.

1.) I scout websites for items I like and then wait for the 30% or 40% off everything sales. As soon as that happens, I order. Of course this only works for stores like BR that regularly run those sales.
2). I have been known to order 2 or 3 of the identical item in different sizes. I keep the one that fits (if I like it of course!) and return the others.
3).. I have narrow feet, so if I find a pair of shoes that I like, is in budget and available in narrow, I order ASAP. If I wait until it goes on sale, i might miss out.

I live near a mall, so I sometimes take things back to b & m store.

I think I prefer online shopping. Something about how my brain works looking at images and knowing what looks good on my body in terms of colours and shapes. In stores with things folded and on hangers I struggle and I really am the type who shops with purpose so I get frustrated looking all over the place. I figure I spend less overall using online selectively.

Checking garment measurements is key to reducing returns for me. You can phone J. Crew for example and a lot of sites include measurements now so you an compare to what you have.

I actually don't worry too much about shipping as getting the item I want is paramount. Our downtown parking fees are so high that it's the same really.

shiny, thanks for mentioning Amazon's workplace practices. I hadn't heard about that, and based on your comment, I did some googling and reading. Scary! I won't be renewing our prime membership, and will avoid them.

Shiny, I seem to have missed this before, but I want to make a plug for Amazon. My best friend's son works in one of their warehouses. He has a college degree and was unable to find another job in the area (we still haven't recovered from the recession). So punishing Amazon also punishes him and his coworkers. And he really needs the job.

Most of my shopping is on line due to where I live.

I simplify by sticking to trusted sellers. I'm pretty set on a few. Shopbop, first always. A trusted seller. You do pay more but I "like" items when I see them and they email me when it's both going out of stock and when it gets reduced. They fulfill/ship very fast too and returns are free. Second would be Nordstrom. I also think Zara does a good job, and have been pleased with UO as well. Zara and UO have a $50 minimum and if you don't return it right away you get a store credit, but I'm ok with that. I also just tried Forward by Elyse Walker (part of Revolve) and was very pleased.

I also occasionally buy things from eBay (mostly because I sell my stuff there) and don't mind paying shipping. If I am unsure of a seller I will contact them with a question. You can tell A LOT about a seller from how they respond.

JAileen I appreciate your comment about Amazon. I forgot to mention them in my list. Who doesn't order from them? I mean, they are my go-to place for everyday items and have great prices on lingerie too!

I know there was a bad story going around about them. But as a small business employer, I so understand the power that one disgruntled employee can have.

Sorry to hijack Shiny.

I prefer online shopping. I like to put things in my shopping basket and return a few days later to see if I am still interested. I also like to see all my color options in one place; in the store I feel like I wander from display to display and can't find the color I want. Usually there are more sizes available on line too. I also need to try things on a few times to decide if I will keep them. I like trying with my other clothes and shoes and looking a mirror where I can get different perspectives by moving closer and farther away which I can't do in a small fitting room. I only order from companies I know "get me" and where I know my size. And I realize I will be returning things but I do that often when I buy in stores too!

I don't want to derail, but JAileen, I very respectfully disagree that there is a direct cause and effect correlation there. I wish your friend's son a secure job, and a safe workplace. Cocolion, I wish this was a small business owner/one disgruntled employee situation. This probably isn't the place to get into detail, but the Salon article that came out last week was eye opening.