I don't associate sexy and feminine for myself. And I feel very uncomfortable when I feel too traditionally girly. And this is despite being a committed believer in female energy and power.

I wish I had a picture of what I wore at our holiday cocktail party last night - black silk shirt and gold sequuin miniskirt with patterned fishnets. I got a lot of compliments but just felt too gussied up.

I feel best like I am in this picture taken sledding tonight, after a serious wipeout. Being a mom with my (crushed) kiddo. Or here, in what I wore earlier.

I wish I could describe it better. I certainly appreciate all of you who do feminine so well!

I've thought about this a little since this thread first appeared, and sometimes it is the more unexpected things that make me feel a little sexier. It can be something as simple as a very flattering piece of clothing that is nothing "special" but drapes or falls just right and feels good on. Comfort + flattery + stylish = sexy in my book.

I do love how I feel in heeled boots and booties -- they definitely make me feel a little taller, with longer, strong legs, which makes me feel good. A little cleavage can be good too, but too much looks trashy on busty me. Leather jackets make me feel a little tough-sexy. Ultrafeminine details tend to make me feel very unsexy.

Lastly, a great fresh haircut and color is definitely a big help in this department! I've also been feeling a little sexier leaving my hair a little wild and wavy rather than straight. Funny, since I spent most of my life trying to tame and straighten it.

I don't feel sexy at all --- I do like feeling strong and active, or capable. I rarely feel feminine.

Basically what Una said

Thanks for expressing this so clearly, Una. I feel "sexiest" when I'm alive, engaged, doing something well, maybe in the middle of nature. Things that might seem sexy to others, I take for granted as just the way I do things. (Underwear sets, pedicures, waxing etc.)

Heels, stockings, and manicured nails

High heels, flattering jeans, good hair and red lipstick are useful for making me feel attractive in a sexy way. But it's how I feel on the inside that matters more. Being good at things makes me feel sexy. Having just accomplished something that required effort, skill and persistence makes me feel "killer" (as Angie would put it) more than any item of clothing ever could.

I feel sexiest wearing clothing that fits me perfectly (I'm falling in love with my tailor lately!).

And as others have said on a good hair day, whether worn up or down.

And with just enough makeup to blur imperfections but to give the impression I don't wear or need makeup.

A mid-heel that gives me a little lengthening but doesn't look like I'm trying hard.

Basically it's when *I* know I'm wearing my best look (shape, cut, colour) but it all seems effortless, as if I just threw anything on and got out of bed looking like that

Although I have some figure/decolletage-showing dresses that technically make me look sexy, I feel sexier in the ones that leave more to the imagination. I really like the idea of someone thinking I'm remote, mysterious, or even unattainable, but giving them just enough visual and personal information that their imagination is inspired.

I'm totally with Rae in that being physically active makes me feel sexy - partly because I'm strengthened and empowered, but also because I just can't fight endorphins

I am recently separated and although I can't date at this stage, the feeling of coming home to myself after many years is so enlivening that it is deeply sexy, and beyond sexy.

Red lipstick.

Good hair day.

Pointy toed pumps -- but they have to be comfortable to walk in, so nothing higher than 3 inches. I do not feel sexy if my feet are aching.

But mostly, a dress that fits *just right* -- flattering cut, skims the body but not tight, neckline not too high but also not too low, sleeves cut just right, just the right length (a bit above the knee), makes me look like I have a waist, but isn't constricting in the waist. A bit of structure but not too much. A dress with stretch in it, so I can move freely. A dress that fits so well, I do not require any Spanx to suck it all in. This might mean strategic ruching, but not necessarily: it's surprising how a good fit can make my belly and bumps disappear, no Spanx required. Because I'm sorry but wearing anything constricting just does not make me feel sexy - no matter how well it slims me down visually in the mirror.

When I find effortless dresses like that I hold on to them forever!

I will add that I have a sack dress that I feel perfectly sexy in too.

I feel sexy in a leather jacket. It makes me feel powerful. Red lipstick is a close second.

It's not always practical in the winter, but I feel strong AND sexy when I wear halter-neck or thin-strapped, low-back tops/dresses. I absolutely did not win the genetic lottery for boobs, but I love showing off my broad shoulders and decently toned back (thanks, yoga!).

Of course, I am also fully in favor of the perfectly-fitted LBD, glossy-but-not-sticky lips, a good shot of fragrance and a pair of high heels

It's a real darn shame than sunbathing is so bad for your skin. I haven't had a 'real tan' in years and while I appreciate the fact that my skin looks pretty good for my age, I really do feel sexier AND thinner (?!) when I've got some color. (At-home self tanning and/or Mystic tans just don't give the same result, although I use both during the summer months.)

Freshly painted nails.

I just had a thought, reading Una's and other's thoughts on being feminine. (Btw, I think you're right about sledding Una I'm sure you catch all the boys sledding.)

My thought was this: I do have a femme fatale look that's stop 'em dead, but I have to say that it doesn't make me feel sexy. Powerful and psychopathic, yes; sexy, no. Read what you will into that...

Lol at what Rachylou said

Yes but look what I had to do to catch that little one - flatten him!

I have a psycho look too. But no one finds it sexy.

I do feel sexy in a heel, but I really can't/don't wear heels and have gotten rid of almost all of mine. I would say super-long jeans over heels would be my fantasy sexy outfit, even if it's not something I typically wear.

I would say that I also feel sexy in the things that SO finds sexy -- which is to say, "anything quite fitted on the lower half."

A well tailored black dress!

Fascinating thread. Feeling female vs feminine, sexy vs. sexual, and how these intersect with feeling powerful. Or psychotic -- love Una and Rachylou's comments!

I equate feeling sexy with feeling free, in the way that warm summer sunshine, soft breeze, sand or grass between toes, no makeup, freshly washed but unstyled hair feels free. Luxuriating, stretching out with time on hands and sun on skin. Healthy, fit, relaxed, comfortable in my skin. So, soft fabrics like old tshirts or tank tops, slouchy or skimming. Drawstring PJ-type pants that expose a bit of belly. So, jersey maxi skirts with havaianas, even my beloved Eileen Fisher harem pants give me that feel. Although, I have yet to meet a man who thinks they are "sexy". Powerful, daring, even intimidating yes. Sexy not in the least.