I haven't read all the comments yet but wanted to chime in to say I have the exact same issue, and with red. I've purged most all-red items long ago but decided awhile back that I wanted to try again. So, I bought a beautiful silk Equipment blouse with a lot of red in the print. I adore the print on this blouse, the colors are flattering, it's comfortable... but I almost never wear it. And, when I do, it's always with white or faded blue denim. Never black.
I don't wear black much either but that's because it ages me so badly. But, I really dislike red with black. Even though I know it's a classic combination, it just seems way too heavy and strong and somehow dated to me. I have a fairly strong personality and have no problem confidently wearing other brights or all-white outfits regularly. I even prefer them. So, why not red?
I have been trying to figure this out for awhile because it genuinely
puzzles me. I get compliments every time I wear red, from complete
strangers even. They tell me it makes my blue eyes look even bluer and
does wonderful things for my complexion so I keep thinking I should love
red. I should want to wear it all the time. But, I don't.
With all these reasons to love red, I am determined to figure this out. I started wondering whether it has something to do with all the red that's used in advertising and signage. So many logos incorporate the color red because of its effect on consumers. Maybe it's because red is the color of anger and subconsciously it has some effect related to that aspect of it. Maybe it simply draws too much attention. Even though I often dress in a way that some might consider attention-getting, I suppose (brights, prints, all-white, etc), somehow red seems too overt. Even in a pretty silk top with red in the print.
All I know is that I could have written your original post, word for word. Every time I see an attractive red item of clothing, I always think, "it's nice but it's so... red." Would love to get to the bottom of this and am hoping someone out there has an answer..