Thank you all for your responses! You have really helped me clarify in my own mind the phenomenon that I am thinking about, which will help me going forward in working on my style statement.
First off, gryffin, I don't think I can be much help on the tuxedo-pleat shirts as both of mine were purchased secondhand. I have a longer more tunic-like one by Banana Republic, it is quite see-through but I put a white camisole untucked under it and it's fine. The more classic one is by J. Crew, it is several years old but it is NOT stiff at all so it might be worth checking to see if they do something similar in the future.
efbgen, I love the food metaphor! Very clarifying. I think the experience I am trying to describe does not have to do with cake. Instead, imagine if the only kind of fruit your grocery store carried was apples. So, you buy apples and you eat one every day for lunch. Your coworkers are like: "Wow you really like apples! You are an apple fanatic!" And, you have to admit that your diet would not function without apples. But in fact, while you do like apples, you really prefer pears*. Or, you do like apples and want to continue eating them but, you wish you could mix in an orange or a peach now and then**.
*This is the experience that a lot of people are sharing, settling for something slightly different than what they would prefer in an ideal world, like rachylou's full-skirted (apples) vs. pencil-skirted (pears) sundresses .
**This is more like the situation with my white shirts, I like them and would like to continue wearing them, just not quite so often. They would be a more occasional look, and thus would not appear to be essentials.
Jessikams, ha, the constraints posed by pets! I had not thought of that. As an ardent cat lady I'll say that I can think of no better reason for wearing gray.
