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Weight gain and shopping: ETA results

viva

Veteran

How do you deal with sudden weight gain and your wardrobe?

I'm struggling with my weight and my body for a variety of reasons. Long story short, I'm 6-7 pounds up and things are not fitting. I'm trying to get back on track with eating and exercising and I hope to be able to get back to my fighting weight, but I also realize that at 54, this is probably easier said than done.

I'm in Chicago today for work and have access to good shopping, although only a very limited amount of time to look for things. I could go to Zara, BR, AnnTaylor, Bloomies, etc., during the couple of hours I will have free this evening.

I'd love to pick up a couple of things that really work on my body now, because my own wardrobe has shrunk in terms of what fits/works. But I'm also having a difficult time in the fitting room because of how I look/feel (went to JCrew and Club Monaco last night without much luck). And there's also the act of buying something bigger: is it worth the money? will it encourage me not to address my food/exercise issues? UGH.

How do you deal with this kind of thing -- both emotionally and practically?

Shopping

44 replies

Latest reply was from cindysmith

Sara L.

Veteran

I don't have tons of advice but I did deal with temporary weight gain after my kids were born. I went back to work after 3 months with the first two and after 6 weeks with the third one. Most of my professional wardrobe didn't fit yet but I couldn't wear maternity clothes either. I found that most of my tops still worked and pants/skirts were the problem. I bought pants that worked knowing that they would be short term. I tried to buy cheaper, but still decent quality, in styles that I could mix and match with the tops that still fit. I would also suggest getting everything out of your closet that doesn't fit. You don't need to get rid of things since you think you may lose those few pounds, but put them somewhere so you don't see them. Try to stay positive and don't beat yourself up! Baby steps - losing weight is a long game - there aren't any shortcuts.

Becky

Veteran

One strategy I would suggest is to choose one pair of pants and one skirt that fit well at your current weight. Tops and even some dresses are more forgiving of a few pounds, but pants and skirts often aren't. Then you can look and feel great while you're working to get back to your target weight.

Anonymous

Well, as you know, I have been struggling with this for a few years now. And how do I handle it? Not very well. I followed all of the suggested tips: buy one or two really well-fitting pieces for now and stick it out, hide your favourite clothes that no longer fit etc etc. All that happened was that I ended up with an entire closet of inexpensive placeholders, and now I don't have the wardrobe I once had. I wish I knew the answer. Oh - and I don't think buying a size or two up would falsely encourage you to relax on your mission to lose the weight - that never happened to me. I stayed enraged - lol.

Anonymous

Finding pants that fit now and maybe a top or two while you get back to your desirable weight might be just enough. Some skirts and dresses accomodate weight gain and loss rather well. But, more importantly, get something that makes you happy and forget about tomorrow and where you want to be, body-wise.

Bijou

Veteran

Fluctuating weight is never fun, although I accept for me it is almost inevitable. 6 - 7 pounds is not very much in the scheme of things and it will come off once your medical treatment is over and you can get back to your usual diet and exercise routine.

I tell myself it is good to buy my clothing when I am a little heavier than my preferred weight, because when I lose the weight it will look better on me and it still fits at the current size if it takes a bit of time to get the weight off.

I like to buy items with stretch, that way they size down with me. Jackets and coats are great, because I tend not to change size in them and they cover up the muffin situation that I get when I carry those extra pounds.

The best advice I can give you is to only buy what you love and treat yourself, Viv you deserve to look and feel good about yourself right now!

I hope you find something that makes you feel fantastic.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I sympathize, and it seems kind of cruel to have to deal with that on top of what you’re already coping with.

I am within 5 lbs of my highest adult weight right now too, so I can relate to the frustration and disappointment when beloved items don’t fit right anymore, and things don’t look the same as they do when we’re a little slimmer. For me, I’m dealing with weight on my midsection that I’ve never really had before — sigh, post-menopause!

But anyway, I agree with Bijou that items with a bit of stretch can be helpful for times like this, as long as they are not thin or clingy. The skirt and top (first two Finds) that I bought last month have been ideal examples of this — they fit now, but will also work if I get rid of the 5-10+ lbs I should lose. And items like that skirt can be styled from summer into fall.

I’m also liking woven tops that are not oversized but not overly fitted either. I attached a few examples. They fit now but will also work with a little weight loss.

I’m avoiding buying anything that is tailored and a size up from my usual — I don’t want to be complacent and allow my weight to continue to creep up. My husband is dealing with some of this too (he handed me a pair of suit trousers to take to the tailor because they need an inch let out at the waist), so I think we’ll be working together on some healthier habits!

Maeve | Anthropologie Corvo Wrap Skirt

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Anthropologie | Anthropologie Biscayne Textured Top

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Caslon Caslon Twist Front Long Sleeve Tee (Regular & Petite) | Nordstrom

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Cloth & Stone | Anthropologie Cloth & Stone Button-Back Top

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Chelsea28 Flare Cuff Top

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AviaMariah

Veteran

I'm in the same boat (except it's more than 5-6 pounds). I definitely don't have this figured out but here's what I've done. I have taken everything out of my closet that I won't wear right now. I put it all in another closet or tubs and have not tried to edit. I figure when/if it fits again will be a better time. I haven't gone the inexpensive route. I've purchased items in the same price range that I would usually purchase. I figure that I'm not going to feel good in clothes that aren't up to my usual quality standard in the same way I won't feel good in clothes that are too tight (and I'm worth it at any size!). I've just tried to limit the pieces that I've purchased because I "hope" I will not be this size next summer. Plus I think some of the items will still work at a smaller size. Also, I think it's been a little easier because it is summer so loose and breezy works well and my work environment is casual so I don't need two wardrobes. The hardest thing for me has been not buying things to wear "when" I fit them. I think I've been successful in this but I've had some close calls! I'm also trying to patient and remind myself that it took me a year + to get here and it will probably take me that long to get back to where I was. Also, the underlying issues - health, stress etc. - are really more importance to address than the weight. Easier said than done! I'm adding my finds of some things I've purchased.

Nic + Zoe NIC+ZOE Bloom Me away Print Maxi Dress (Regular & Petite) | Nordstrom

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NYDJ 4" Shorts w/ Fray Hem & Side Slit in Zimbali

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JAG Jeans Petite Petite Ainsley 7" Pull-On Shorts in Divine Twill

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Sharagano Eyelet Lace A-Line Dress (Petite)

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Eileen Fisher Crop Jersey Jumpsuit

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NYDJ Jenna Straight Leg Ankle Jeans

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Karen Kane Frayed Rainbow Leaf Top

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Eileen Fisher V-Neck Organic Linen Top

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Coralie Wrap Top

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NYDJ Ami Side Slit Stretch Ankle Skinny Jeans

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viva

Veteran

Thanks all. Will respond individually later when done with work.

Janet: I found an Anthro close to my hotel and will stop there tonight, for sure. Your comments and suggestions are really good.

AviaMariah: I'm intrigued by the EF jumpsuit! What do you think of this one?

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Suz

(website)

Veteran

Vivian, I'm so sorry you are struggling with this. I'm sure it must be related to medications and stress. When we are feeling stressed it is much harder to maintain or to lose weight.

I agree with Janet's thoughts. Find a few nice pieces that will work at either weight and use those as your core items for now. Like some others, I've personally found dresses and skirts and knits (but not clingy ones) more forgiving of slight weight alterations than pants, although ponte pants and jeans with some stretch seem to be okay. It does depend where and how you tend to gain. I seem to gain fairly evenly all over so it can take a while before I need a whole different size. But even so, some cuts won't work as well as before.

If you need a "dressier" item, you could try a looser sack dress (since you wear those really well) or you could go the opposite route and try a wrap which would be adjustable for later.

You will get through this. You probably need some down time to recuperate and rest after your ordeal.

I like AviaMariah's idea of putting things in a holding zone and editing later. If you know it doesn't feel good right now, then putting it away seems smart. Why torment yourself?

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Oh, Viv. YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL. Full stop. That’s a fact and I want you to remember that

It sounds like a one size difference. That’s easy management, and nobody will notice accept you. Remember that too!

I echo what Janet and Suz suggest. Build a small capsule of mix and match pieces that fit NOW. Nothing too tailored. Fluidity and stretch are your friends. Jackets - your fave - do the best job of streamlining the body so don’t go to unstructured either.

Here to help while you shop. Wish we could go shopping together again. Much love to you. Xo

Toban

Veteran

Many of my suggestions that I previously mentioned for my transitioning weight work here, too, especially if you think this weight is temporary. Focus on what you need right now, in the next 4-8 weeks for the important things in your life, but don’t worry about all the gaps in your wardrobe. You deserve to look excellent and feel excellent regardless of your weight. Remove things that don’t fit — holding zone for a seasonal and weight change reassessment.

bj1111

Veteran

thirding @Janet with getting a core of items that you can wear through the fall. i survived for a year on 2 dresses, a single pair of skinny black jeans, uniqlo merino wool twinsets in sizes that i never thought i'd buy, and anything that used to be oversized, mostly sweaters and the one or two pair of boyfriend jeans that are now slim fit. not something i recommend but it did work for me until i was ready to do the wardrobe cull.

sounds like you will be on michigan ave with bloomies. the largest nordies is down the street. around there is rush st and oak street.

Barbara Diane

Veteran

I find it easiest to “see” outfit possibilities with a small wardrobe. So clear out your closet and if you have room put everything that works in it. Sweaters, jeans, everything in eyesight. Figure out how often you will do laundry - be realistic- and come up with the minimum numbers of items you need in each category. You might decide to eliminate some categories during this time and let items do double duty. Or repeat outfits more frequently.

As for specifics, you’ve received great advise.

tulle

Veteran

Right there with you, Viva. One thing I keep in mind now when shopping is a piece of advice I heard somewhere: Identify your area of sensitivity, and avoid clothes that emphasize it. Are you most self-conscious when clothes are tight in the waist, pull over the belly, restrict your hips, or come unbuttoned across the bust? Most of us have a place where a few extra pounds are felt first. I find that just going up a size doesn't always work, because although I may gain necessary room around my hips and middle, the larger size will look sloppy in the shoulders and chest. So I look for silhouettes that provide ease in my problem areas while remaining neat where I'm slimmer. It's more time-consuming than shopping for a perfect size whatever, but worth it when you find a piece that makes you look good and feel comfortable again. Whatever you do, don't beat yourself up for post-50 weight gain. It happens!

AviaMariah

Veteran

Viva - I love that EF jumpsuit! I eyed it too but the casualness of the one I purchased really spoke to me. If I remember correctly your work attire needs to be a little more dressy than I need. I think you should try it! Seriously, If you love it half as much as I love mine it will be worth it.

ETA: Mine is an XS. I'm solidly in size 6 camp right now as long as it's not waist defining at all.

Also - I ordered a few other jumpsuits from Nordie's that were about a quarter of the price just to see if I could save a few bucks. They didn't come even close to comparing. They showed every lump and bump while the EF disguised it all.

Anonymous

An EF jumpsuit for $129?? Why don't I live in the US?? Oh, right, now I remember. Still trying not to bite on a blog post comment made by someone his morning ...

Jules

Veteran

How much clothing does your lifestyle require? I work from home and truly only need 1 or 2 great outfits, which can be worn 2-3 times a week because I'm not seeing the same people. In my climate of extremes an outfit tends to work for about 8 weeks, so I am not wearing the same outfit endlessly. Can you focus on one good outfit for now and see it as a small investment in feeling good in the present moment?

Or are you trying to buy ahead for fall while not knowing where your body will be in November? The F/W buying season is long, so there doesn't have to be a rush on that.

unfrumped

Veteran

Sending good thoughts your way!

I would NOT worry about whether sizing up, or somehow adjusting style/ wardrobe to current body, will undermine fitness program. Although you know yourself best, for me, I never found that wearing too- tight or unhappy- looking fits made me want to go for a run— instead it would depress me and turn me slothful. That doesn’t mean you have to invest in a massive new wardrobe. You know your fits and styles, but would employ the usual strategies depending on what styles you might wear ANYWAY - the sack dress idea ( hate that name, though!), longer easy top over slim bottoms- but in decent quality, looking intentional. I think we all have a range of silhouettes that we find inherently appealing for our style/ shape but might prefer some over others. Also use style features that work for you to keep things from looking blah— for me it’s curved hems if wearing longer tops. Others might rock tunics, dresses over pants or leggings.
Some new items might work “ now and later,” but I think that’s a tall order, and might block you from getting the best fit/ happiness factor now. Or at least be mindful of that. I have found it’s so hard to predict HOW fit will change over time, and silhouette preferences.
You may have read Toban’s posts on journey through different sizes.

Also, though I don’t know what you need for your “ program”, I had some success looking at increasing total activity during day, starting with multiple 5-10- min walk breaks, adding one flight of stairs, and not just aiming for a long session, when I had not been doing a regular program and was thinking about “ the mountain “ instead of just a step or bit at a time. I also used Fitbit for this same reason since I could add up small bits and feel some sense of control- doing something was better than nothing, and increasing gradually.

karen13

Veteran

Excellent advice here, and it applies to many of us! Comisserating, as I just returned from an extended international vacation full of family events, amazing food and no exercise. I returned nearly two sizes bigger than when I left. It is remarkable how fast I can gain weight when I travel. Menopause isn’t helping. I have worked hard the past two weeks to lose about a size, and am traveling again so hard pressed to maintain the regimen that works for me.

Everyone has different motivators, but what worked for me losing 20+ pounds 3 years ago was MyFitnessPal. I’m very analytical and seeing exactly what my nutrition looked like and what exercise had the best cost/benefit helped me a lot. It took about two weeks of using the for everything I ate and exercised, an then it was pretty easy. But I have to use it religiously for it to work.

In the meantime, what ever you do, be kind to yourself. Maybe hit a nicer consignment shop for a good pair of jeans or trouser that fits you now. But don’t wear things that don’t make you feel as fab as possible!

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

I would def. purchase at least a pair of jeans, a pair of slacks and maybe even a new top or two for my current weight - and mood. Soft, comforting clothing can help you feel comforted, you know? We all fluctuate our weight a little at some point in life it seems, and there's just no reason to beat yourself up over it. I've recently started casually counting my carbs and trying to stick to around 50-60 gms a day. Not officially low carb I guess, but it's low for me - and I think it's helping me feel less bloated.

Mandy007

I went through this last year. I was coming back from maternity and had nothing that would work with my new body. I still had 45 lbs of baby weight on and argh... it just would not come off! I opted to get a stylist and have her find a wardrobe that would fit my new body type. I threw out all the "old clothes", and kept only a couple of pieces that I still cannot part with. I found the new clothes made me feel better about my new shape but also with the convenience of the stylist, I branched out of my "norm" for style. I found cheaper, trendier pieces that I still use some today...minus the 25 lbs I think that because I had the new wardrobe I focused more on how good I felt and not the struggle to loose weight. Good Luck and I hope you find some pieces that work for you!

jill58

Veteran

Viva, I suspect you will find it not so difficult to lose what is really a very few pounds, once you get back in your eating and exercise groove. I went through a medication related weight gain several years ago, gaining about 23 lbs. Over time I've lost twenty of them and I just turned 60. Echoing what others have said, I found it extremely helpful to buy some clothes at my higher weight. I really wanted to "own" the weight; understand it as a reflection of a variety of issues and not punish myself for having gained it. I really think it's important to have clothes we feel happy in at any weight so my advice is to go ahead and purchase some clothes that make you feel good now. I didn't find that it discouraged me at all from gradually losing the weight I had gained.

Colette

Veteran

Oh gosh, I don't have much to offer except I use toppers and flowy dresses as my smoke and mirrors because my weight gain happens in my bottom half first. Love that EF jumpsuit! The one I pick up at Jcrew might work for you too. Also comes in navy. The fit is forgiving but with a bit more structure.

Regarding dropping those extra few, no magic bullet and everyone is different, but what I have noticed is reducing my meat consumption a few days a week helps. A small tweak may be all you need to jumpstart things.

Wrap-tie jumpsuit in stretch poplin

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gryffin

Veteran

Viva - I'm so sorry. I am 5'3" and when you put on 5-7 lb that's a size because there is no place to distribute those pounds. When my dad was dying, I had a little dessert pity party and was right up there with you in pounds. My strategy at that higher weight, was "stretch was my friend" - black leggings, black skirted leggings were forgiving. I bought two pair of gap girlfriend chinos and one pair of jeans. I was able to return to my ideal weight when ate properly. I'm a huge fan of Joel Fuhrman, "Eat To Live" a whole food plant based diet. When I stopped the junk, I dropped the weight and had to pull out all the "skinny" clothes. I highly recommend the book if you want a great read on nutrition. Tunics, shift dresses are great too. It's really lousy, even though no one else see the pounds, I didn't feel like me and I worried I would never feel like me again. I worried I would never be able to wear the clothes I liked or look the way I wanted to. I'm here to tell you, that you will drop the weight, you will feel like you, you will wear the things that make you feel good. Just be kind to yourself and patient, you'll figure it out. But hugs to you and wishing you everything happy and healthy!!

anchie

Veteran

I gained weight recently too, and have very limited wardrobe at the moment but I am not in the shopping mood. I am wearing more dresses now, they still fit and are the most comfortable option. And funny thing is whenever I wear a dress people ask me if I have lost weight, when just opposite is true. So that would be my advice - go with dresses.

Anonymous

For the fitting room blues, I would suggest going exercising before shopping. Exercise always makes me feel good about my body and life in general.

jussie

Veteran

Hmm well I have been there several times. It’s not a nice feeling, and having to spend the money on new items can add to the stress. I find it amazing just how unforgiving clothing is, even the smallest amount of weight gain and things feel too tight.
My only advice would be...... treat yourself to something you really like! You deserve it after what you’ve been through. Try to enjoy your clothes and the shopping experience at your temporary higher weight. You may find some marvelous new pieces.
You can always sell them once you lose the weight, or even have them altered slightly to fit. I would imagine having the jumpsuit taken in a couple of cm wouldn’t be too difficult.
Best of luck with it.

londonkiwi (now back in NZ)

Veteran

Being sick is tough on your body physically and mentally. Even once you are recovered physically, you still have to recover mentally from the stress. Getting used to a change in body shape is actually a tough ask at times.

It’s difficult because you want to go back to your old life and that includes appearance.

Do you have items of clothes or accessories that you love that still fit? Items that make your heart sing? I would concentrate on building a wardrobe around them.

I think it’s also worth giving yourself time. Your body will bounce back and you will regain your sense of self.

bj1111

Veteran

i am vicariously shopping chicago with you.

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