I'm with those who think the bag is killer and killer on you. I think it's possible you're not disappointed with the bag, just freaked out at yourself for the way you bought it. Guilty and anxious. Nature's way of keeping a roof over your head

I love the bag. I also vote give it some time,

So sorry you are unhappy about this purchase. I would be less concerned about the size... which is really quite large... than the fact that it is stiff. It's obvious from your comments that you simply don't like it.

In this situation, I would get rid of it as soon as possible. Sell it at a loss or perhaps you can donate it to a thrift shop and take a tax write off. Put this mistake behind you as quickly as possible!

I never buy a handbag without actually trying it out in person. I suspect you follow the same rule but made an exception in this case because it seemed so wonderful. We have all done this and been sorry.

It certainly looks fantastic and perfect for you. I understand the disappointment after an impulse buy, but I know that if it were me, I'd find a place for the bag in my lifestyle, learn the lesson and move on without regrets

It looks like a beautiful bag. Big but not overwhelmingly so. However, it is impossible to judge the weight and the stiffness from the pictures and those really make it or break it for me. If it is too heavy, I will never reach for it, and it will keep gathering dust at the back of the closet and keep bothering me - In this case, i would much prefer to sell even if at a loss. How big of a loss it is would also depend on how much money you will be making back. I would be fine with, say, 220-250 back on my 300. It is subjective though.

I understand the bag not meeting expectations (especially the feel - I ordered a somewhat pricey bag online and it was much stiffer in person than I expected) but it could be very useful - work tote,overnight, etc and has a fab, slightly edgy style that suits you. Try not to be hard on yourself for this Rae

aw, rae, just wanted to pop in and give you a big hug. Sounds like you're having a real rough time, i hope that the 'bag situation' at least seems less fraught after a night's sleep steph

Aw Rae, I understand the feeling. That said, I agree that the others that even though this bag is not what you expected, it still looks fab. I agree with the suggestions to give it some time and see if it can still play a role in your bag collection. I have a beautiful big bag that my husband bought me a few years ago, before I had a physical therapist warn me off of large shoulder bags. I will not part with it, so I use it as a tote for days when I need to carry a bit more, or for travel.

Good luck!

I totally get where you're coming from. Sometimes we set an expectation so high for something we've coveted for so long that when we finally cave in and get it it seems almost destined to be a bit of a letdown.

Personally, I don't think the bag looks too big to carry as an everyday bag. I think it looks great with what you're wearing it with and if you're the type of person who carries everything but the kitchen sink in your bag (like I often do) it could turn into a real workhorse. I'd try it out a few times and see how you feel about it then.

Good morning, ladies - thank you for all the words of wisdom and sympathy. I read every single thing and took it to heart. I did what many of you suggested and tucked it away for the rest of the night, under a stack of sweatshirts to help compress the leather and start to break it in. Then I did my best to ignore it for a night.

Honestly, just thinking about it as a "tote" instead of a "satchel" is really helping me with it. Looking at it right now, it doesn't look as big as it did yesterday. I do have classes and some travel coming up - would be perfect to carry a folder/notepad/lunch or various sundries on a plane, you were right about that, too. Even as a "shoulder bag" it doesn't feel as big... feeling much warmer toward it, actually.

Anna mentioned that the brand holds up really well, and that got me to imagining it as a pair of boots that will wear in over time yet still stay sturdy. Thinking about the changes over a lifetime is both fun and helpful.

I'm going to put it back away for today and look at it again before my class starts and see how I feel. Hopefully by then I will have less chance of an emotional yo-yo effect.

Thank you again to everyone who took the time to give really thoughtful responses to this. You are seriously the best!

Waiting always helps, no matter what the outcome.

I had a minor freakout over my hair after the last coloring, and after a little quibble with my stylist over text (not a good idea BTW) I told her I would take the weekend to live with it. By Monday, the storm had passed and I had figured out how to style the new blonde streaks so that they worked. And then it was all over. I just needed to get off the ledge.

I'm so glad you are feeling better about the bag. No matter what you ultimately decide to do with it, it is really beautiful, and I completely understand why you thought about it all those years, and why you clicked "buy" that night.

I'm glad you're feeling better! I had a similar experience a few years ago, in reverse. I ordered a Coach bag on eBay, thinking I could use it as a tote for my grad school books and papers. It turned out to be much smaller than I expected and I was very disappointed for many of the reasons you've mentioned. Then I realized that although it was far too small for a school bag, it made a rockin' "purse," and I've used it happily for that purpose ever since!

I am glad you feel better about it today Rae!
Sometimes just taking a step back can make all the difference.
FWIW it does not look overly big to me, just rather special and lovely

Great! It's not the ultimate decision, it's whether you give yourself a chance to weigh the pros and cons for you and your needs. That might take some time and road-testing.

I'm glad you are feeling at least a little better. I agree about waiting this out and waiting for the emotional responses to be over before making any decisions. I once did this with a pair of shoes, which was SO uncharacteristic of me. I didn't even want to open the box because I knew they were a mistake right after I hit the button. But I gave them two weeks in the box, unopened, and then another two weeks looking at them. And then I started trying them with outfits. Know what? They turned out to be one of the most comfortable pairs of shoes I own, and versatile, too! I hope you have success with the bag as time goes on. FWIW, I think it looks great.

I keep thinking as I read your concerns: what caused you to fall so hard for this bag in the first place, so that you thought about it and (as a cautious person) was willing to pull the lever and buy it...Maybe as you leave it under the sweatshirts, you can call to the front some of those warm thoughts you had for this bag and maybe reconnect...
After you give it time, I will bet you reconnect...
Now, give yourself a hug...

I am glad you are feeling kinder towards it so that I can come out and say but-but-but what a beautiful bag and are you sure you don't want it?! (Don't think it sounds at all sympathetic so refrained from posting the first time!)

I am super late to this thread. I actually looked at the photos earlier, but wasn't sure what to say apart from offering sympathy for your feelings, because to me it looked like workhorse bag that fits your style. Or at least it would be a workhorse for me. I always need bags exactly like this -- big enough for travel, to carry a pile of stuff with me. And this one has a lot of style. I hope you warm to it enough to keep it and use the dickens out of it.

Thanks for the wisdom...

I love the bag for you Rae and am happy you are feeling better about it!