Aquamarine - I don't know how you do it, but when I step outside my comfort zone (which I think is a good thing!!), I take baby steps. When I first tried skinnies, I put them on with my favorite booties, merino tank, favorite embellished belt and black boyfriend blazer. Although the skinnes were a bit outside my comfort zone I still felt wonderful and like me (PS I was suprised when not one word was said or ever said - to go back to the am post, so much for my so-called "edge") But I am sure if I wore an entire outfit outside my comfort zone I would not be relaxed and be quite tense. That might read as "trying too hard". Now, as long as it's deliberate and you why you are doing something, than I don't think there is anything wrong with that. But if you were going outside your comfort zone for anyone but you (work, spouse, to fit in - then you'd have to decide if that kind of discomfort was worth it to you) But I agree with TTH to me implies discomfort, tension, inauthentic, a sense of unease. I know I'm not being very eloquent. Does that make any sense?

I only use the phrase in relation to my own dressing. I feel it's a negative and critical statement to use in relation to others.

Trying to hard for me, is when I might try to copy an outfit or look exactly leaving me out of the equation. It will be when I don't feel authentic in something.

Parsley makes a good point that the saying is often applied to "women of a certain age". Or maybe I am getting to "that age" and thus am more sensitive to its meaning in that regard. Overall, I generally hear it used to disparage a woman over 40 who looks what someone else might perceive as "too young" in her style of dress. Again, I am not sure what that is supposed to mean. As was mentioned in another thread, do young people think that women over 40 are only supposed to wear orthotics and rain bonnets?

Regardless, none of us grow unless we try. If that means occasionally looking like I made an effort, so be it. That is better for me than schlupping to the supermarket in pajamas and slippers!

Aquamarine, I can really relate to your last comment and somewhere on the forum there's been some similar discussion.
If someone is experimenting with new look, new item, new anything there may be a time when it doesn't all "work" exactly as intended and hey, it's supposed to be fun, just give a rueful, hmmm, next time I will try this or that.

That's where I think I can easily end up, have already in the past year or 2, as I don't have naturally effortless style, or perhaps I should say, I have a lower batting average than some folks for hitting a home run, and am especially vulnerable, if you will, when I'm trying something new. Sure I can review and tweak before heading out the door, but in the light of day I may go, whoops, maybe better next time. And while I've really benefited hugely from posting for advice, I surely don't want to feel that every experiment has to be YLF-approved. Thankfully no one here makes you feel that way.

That's where I think I can take a lesson in viewing the man or gal on the street much more kindly--everyone needs "room to make a BIG mistake". Sure, sometimes it's very poor judgement or sometimes it was like trying a new recipe, or making one up, which is what I do, and maybe the cake fell flat.

Gryffin, Deborah, Echo, unfrumped....you all eloquently sum it up for me....it's an experiment to move forward and try new things (in all aspects of life). When we do so, we can certainly set ourselves up for criticism or ridicule. There are baby steps we can take (to your point Gryffin) to dip our toes in and test out a change. THAT is my preference too...I am not one to suddenly dive in head first. I know I am an introvert and do not need/want the spotlight although I admire those who are willing to try new things WITH confidence.

Caro....I started this thread in a sincere attempt to discuss the statement "trying too hard." It was spurred by a new member's question about trying a new trend and her discomfort about how it might be perceived by others. I assure you I am usually the one who wonders if I am being criticized as opposed to the one doing the criticizing. Just a by-product of never being or wanting to be the "popular" one but preferring to avoid the limelight.

I thought you may be interested in this article on Already Pretty :http://www.alreadypretty.com/2.....-hard.html I find it really interesting.

Thank you Diane. Fascinating and insightful exploration by Sal. I enjoyed the comments, too...obviously the phrase hits a nerve with so many women. So much to think about here.

Sharon nailed it. My interpretation really hinges on a sense of "unease" in the wearer. I get that this phrase is loaded for a lot of people, but I admit that it crosses my mind when I see someone who can barely walk in their 5-inch heels.

I rather like how Sally said to be really positive when trying out new styles and 'fake' it till you feel the confidence come naturally. Obviously there are limits to how far we can push our own style to a different slant and that's where the baby steps can come in.

I like that piece on Already Pretty. Sal is so good on body image subjects!

I love this thread ... never thought about the term much before, but I will be banishing it from my vocabulary after reading this thread! What a positive group!

does it mean wearing all the current trends at once?
in an effort to be up to the minute.