I'm very late in the game, but the one thing that really resonates with me is that it is tough not to try and put my own personal style stamp on the opinions that I give. I do think it is helpful to get input on fit and color combos especiallly and sometimes if you are on the fence about something it is good to hear others ideas and comments that might give you a new prespective.

Wow, this is the best thread I've ever read here, and there have been some good ones!

Angie, yes you are a writer, and you have a very clear and entertaining voice. I dare say you have a book in you if you ever decide to pursue that avenue.

It is very tricky to give people the right kind of feedback - the kind that doesn't hurt in some way, especially when the matter is as personal as how you look in clothing. From everything I've read here, you ladies are extremely gracious and kind and thoughtful and measured in your feedback. That's an amazing gift to the person who's willing to put themselves in a vulnerable position.

I see this all the time in writers' workshops. In particular, fiction is extremely personal, and critiques, even well-meaning, can sting. It takes a lot of courage to ask for input from a group, and it takes some wisdom on the group's part to give helpful feedback. I think Angie and the key members of this forum should get kudos for doing this, particularly since we're operating in cyberspace and not face-to-face! Not an easy feat!

I agree that Angie has a distinctive writing voice and style that allows her personality to shine through.

I have a degree in journalism...worked in newspapers...then in corporate communications and PR...and now I own a marketing communications/advertising agency. I think there's a book in my future, when time permits.

Kyle, your background sounds very familiar! I took a similar path: Newspapers, PR, freelance writing/marketing with my own company. I am just now getting away from corporate work to focus more on nonfiction and fiction. With two little kids, I find that books are perfect because they have long deadlines (i.e. a kid home from school with a sick day doesn't completely throw me off) and I can pace myself. Good luck with everything. I'm sure there's a book in your future!

Hello everyone,
I am excited to have started a thread that went to the second page – mostly while I was on the other side of the world asleep! Of course it was Angie’s initial comment that was the catalyst for most of it – and the side thread about writing. Anyway just wanted to comment on a few of the things that have come up, while remaining aware that the conversation had moved somewhat from my post.

Firstly, I wanted to say that I certainly appreciate all the feedback and suggestions in this forum. I don’t feel all that confident about making suggestions myself though! Especially because I often don’t get to post until 10 other people have, and if they are all saying it’s a 9 or 10 I don’t feeling like saying anything negative. Mind you the negative thing might be just one detail in one picture in a set of them – but if noone else has said anything, I figure I must be wrong. Thus my initial comment about being a perfectionist. It is part of my personality to be rather critical, good at pointing out the flaws in something, rather than painting big pictures scenarios or making good suggestions. It is a personality trait that has its drawbacks!

I am also, and I think Angie has hit this on the head definitely slow to adjust. Often new fashions don’t appeal to me for quite a while. I think one of my first YLF posts was complaining about the winters sweaters all looking boxy, dowdy and like something my grandma used to wear. Now, finally, by spring, I have got used to it. YLF helped speed up that process too.

As to the point about style, a rating referring to the context of style etc, it is so true, as San said, that our photos can convey so little of the whole person. But part of the appeal of YLF for me, is that you don’t always know me that well. If you did, you might self censor suggestions that didn’t suit what you thought I was like, when actually I might be trying to break free and want to try something different!

Fourthly, I take on Shiny and Maya’s point about differing circumstances, in that if you already have heaps of clothes and love shopping you can afford to try and restrict yourself to “killer” items. Whereas in my case, I have a small budget ( which fuels my pickiness, of course, because you want to get it “right”) little child free shopping time, don’t actually enjoy shopping that much – but by YLF standards don’t have many acceptable clothes. For example, I am a SAHM, and apart from maternity and transition ones, one 3 pairs of jeans – one is worn out, too short and at least 7 years old, one a cheapo one with whisker fadings and one is a new pair of skinnies with a low rise so can only be worn with loosefitting long tops/tunics.

I think I’d be happy to be a 7, having thought about it a bit more! Can’t let perfectionism lead to immobility

Thanks again for all your thoughts and a most interesting thread

PS Angie, sometimes I think that what you do (on the forum, at least) reminds me of what I was trained as a librarian to do; what we call “the reference interview”. I am not talking so much about the creative side of it, more that way you ask questions to work out what someone really wants

PPS I like writing too, in a small way, but am in awe of those who earn their crust by it! I have said elsewhere that I have little visual creativity (which doesn’t help with fashion *sigh*) and prefer the realm of words – in my case just the odd presentation and spot of public speaking

Wow, this thread keeps becoming better and better. I must say that I admire all of you ladies with artistic/creative talents and jobs, such as writing, interior design, fashion stylist. Being on a quite opposite end of the spectrum, even writing a scientific paper is quite of an effort for me.

I am also starting to feel quite guilty about maybe starting whole ' I want only 9/10 thing". In my case, as someone already mentioned, it's on purpose because of couple of reasons: I already have a huge wardrobe ( that I am constantly working on downsizing). There are still bunch of things I want, but quite honestly I do not really need any of them, the only thing I really need right now are wellies. Add being on student budget, and a pathetic fact that fashion is currently my only hobby-like and de-stressing activity to that. So it is the right thing for me but it may not be for many other people in different situations.

After all, our rating system starts from 1, not 6, we just choose to quantify only positive/good things. So anything 6 or higher is already a good and positive thing.

Tanya makes a really good point about the rating system. I too am only looking for 9s and 10s to be in my wardrobe. I wouldn't say my wardrobe is very huge though. As a matter of fact, I want only 9s and 10s so that I can keep mine as small as possible, while still looking great. Too many clothes = too many choices for me, and then I feel overwhelmed and unhappy with my wardrobe, even though it's full of stuff.

Also, this business about 9s and 10s, at least for me, is about fit and flattery. Does an item fit me perfectly? Is it flattering? That's what I'm really asking you all to evaluate. Not every item can be a statement piece, and not every item should be either. I think as long as your clothes fit you and are flattering, you're doing great! Once you have a basic wardrobe like that, then you start shopping for those special statement pieces, and that can take years, even for someone like Angie (ie her purse collection). I think you're doing great so far Anne. It really is a journey and not a destination.

Angie, #1. You are definitely a writer. Long before the forum started, I would read your daily blog and notice you could succinctly and effictively get your point across. Being able to keep your reader interested is what makes a writer a good writer, IMO. If you were not a "good writer" I don't think your blog and forum would be where it is today. and #2. I have not forgotten that you suggested I try the grey dress with black cami and jeans. I just have not had the time to do it, but I will this week when the kids are in school.

Anne, You DID start this thread, and it was you're thought process that instigated such an interesting thread. Everyone who responded offered great insight, but it is your thread.

As far as what constitutes a personal style conflict when answering someone--I don't think it is a conflict to suggest certain color combos, or jewlery options or alternative ways to wear something. What I think becomes a conflict is when a person has a personal dislike of something (ruffles, horizontal strips, skinny jeans ...whatever) and they give something a low rating because they don't like those items. That's where you need to remove your personal taste from the equation and decide if that item looks good on that individual. Obviously, they were drawn to that style if they picked it out. But if you have a pesonal dislike of something (say horizontal stripes), and the person modeling the horizontal stripes really does not look good in it--the stripes make their hips look disproportionatly wide, or their ample bust, more ample, or the fit is just all wrong...THEN you are being objective.

On the topic of writing: I was an english major with concentration in writing. My dream was to write the Great American Novel someday.

Senior year in college, I had to produce a novella for my thesis. Up until that year, all my stories had been written from a first-person point of view. My senior advisor challenged me to write my thesis in third person instead.

I completely choked and just couldn't do it. I had all year... and just couldn't do it.

My professor told me this: "You have more talent than anyone else in the class. Unfortunately, everyone else will publish long before you do - because they have far more persistance and motivation."

I slinked into massive depression following graduation, and I think this comment had a lot to do with it...

But he also said, "My prediction is that you will go into a different field entirely... but someday when you're middle-aged, the urge to write will hit you, and you will write and write and write.... "

At 43, having spent my entire career in marketing, I look back at his comments now and:

1) Realize he was probably saying more about himself than about me;

2) Possibly did me a favor, because I really do love my field;

3) Was on to something - even if he had no idea the web would ever exist - because certainly I can write Tolstoyian posts on forum groups.

What an interesting story Shiny! I must say that I enjoy your Tolstoyian posts very, very much!

Shiny, you crack me up! Hilarious!

First of all, why would your professor push you to write in third person if you wanted to write in first? I mean, a challenge is good, but if you are choking for a year there was a good reason - some stories are meant to be in first person - so what was his point??

Okay so I don't like your professor ... but I am glad you think he ultimately did you a favor!

I never majored in English because I thought the critiquing and pickiness that I saw in that dept. was detrimental to being a writer. (No offense to any English majors here: just one humble opinion). Deep down it made me afraid, so I guess you could say I chickened out. But maybe chickening out preserved my fragile writer's ego enough to keep me writing today.

It really is fun to read this forum and see how many people are super entertaining and talented writers.

Thanks Tanya!

Laura65 - I really have no idea. My postulations over the years:

1) He was a published author himself, and his books are all written in third person; (again it gets back to his advice possibly being more about him than me)

2) He truly wanted to challenge me and get me thinking outside of the box (that's the most charitable explanation)

2) Uncharitable explanation: I was insecure enough to interpret his comment as implying that I was too self-absorbed... all about "I, I, I" all the time... Being a college student, that comes with the territory! But yeah, that bugs me about myself... I often worry that I use "I" wayyyy too much... and admire and try to emulate people who don't.

However, my stories back then weren't me talking about me at all!! I'd simply create interesting characters, get into their skin, and write from their point of view.

Actually, marketing is a lot like that.... you have to get into the skin of your customer. So all is not lost and gone unused.

Another explanation, maybe uncharitable toward your professor, but here goes:

4) You were ahead of your time, and your professor was stuck in his ways, or, more charitably, traditional. First person became BIG a few years ago and now it is seen as a huge plus if your novel is in first person. It has been all the rage. My novel is in third, because as a first novel of course it had autobiographical aspects, and third person helped me create a distance. But in a way I wish it was in first as it might have already sold ... who knows.

Like you, I am 43 and use the word "I" too much!! But it's fun to see the past with some perspective. Ah, the many many benefits of middle age (yikes, did I just say that??). On the same note, I just suggested to Tanya (on another thread) to look into scrunchie boots for her skinny cream cords ... does that show my age or what?

Hmmm, Laura, maybe Angie could introduce us privately so we could have a private email convo...

I have an idea brewing in my mind for a nonfiction book w/blog tie-in to promote it, but zero time or inclination to write it myself. Sorta viewing this as the "next phase" of my life career... long-range.... Anyway... a friend of mine who's a life-coach has suggested I write out a business plan and hire a ghost-writer.... let me know if you might be interested or might have advice!

Sure, I'd love to hear more. (Also about your life-coach friend, as I desperately need one!). Can Angie put us in touch?

Wow, this thread is so cool!

I think Angie can...

Oh girls, can I join in too? I'm sure it hasn't been evident from my scrawny postings on this forum, but I also enjoy writing. I have been part of a writer's group since January and we have posted some of our things on our blog. I am going to take a big risk and put a link here. Hope that is okay. I would love to learn more about the in's and out's of writing, and I am soooo excited to know I actually have some friends-virtual ones!- who are published!

http://thesaccwritesisters.blogspot.com/

I love to write as well and have written a grand total of 10 pages of my first non fiction book. I'd love to be hooked up and figure out motivational ways to keep going. And I also have a good recommendation for a life coach if you'd like. Someone who has definitely helped me.

I think maybe we need to start the Stylishly Fab Writers Group! I'll be writing on my dissertation soon.

Ohhhhhh! This is going to be fun!

The Stylishly Fab writers group - with Angie's help, just imagine how incredible we'll look in our author photos on the book jacket once we're all published!! Would Angie let us have our own thread?

Is anyone in Chicago? I'm actually organizing a writers group here starting in late Oct. I am afraid the answer is probably not, but thought I'd mention it ...

Susan, I'm going to check out your link tonight!

Oh and Sihaya, maybe Angie could connect us via email too?

Laura,
I am about 4 hours south of Chicago, but I would love to be a once-in-a-while member. Let me know what you think of our blog! I'm nervous!

Wow! So many writers on this forum! I’m impressed. There is no end to the talent.

Thank you for the compliments Kyle, Laura and Nicole. Truth be told, I’m the odd one out because I do NOT like writing at all. I try to avoid it at all costs. The reason I have this site is because I’m passionate about the subject matter. My hope is that I come across in an affable, professional and informative way. But I enjoy writing my blog posts because it’s like yakking to my clients on paper with discipline and structure. I’m very chatty

I can connect anyone privately if you've posted a comment in the daily blog section. Sihaya, Shiny and Ana for sure. Laura, aj and Susan – have you posted comments on the blog yet?

Angie-You are the best! I would have assumed that you love writing since you are so good at it! Thanks. I will comment on the blog today!

Angie - I have posted on the blog so you should have my email address.

aj - Have you posted as "aj"? I tried to look for your alias last night. I do not seem to have it. Care to post today and let me in on who you post as?

Angie - yes, I've posted to the blog. Thanks for connecting us!

Wow! I'm sorry I missed this thread till now. With regards to the original topic.. well actually I've forgotten what I was going to say due to all of this writer talk. So let me start there. Since I was in third grade and wrote an 18 page story, I've always wanted to be a writer. I've journaled all of my life though not necessarily on a regular basis. Even though I double majored in English in college, my life took quite a different path. I've always hoped to get into fiction writing at some point but my attempts thus far have always choked. For now I occasionally play around with poetry. Anyway, I'm in admiration of all the writers here.

Concerning evaluating outfits, I try to assess fit and color combinations first. Then I just go with my gut. As Ana points out if it's not my style it's harder to make constructive comments. One thing I do find however is that there are plenty of times when I really admire an outfit. At these times, the question often pops up-- should I go buy this exact same outfit?-- it looks so good on her. And I find more often than not, the answer is no. For one thing, I can't buy everything I like so I prioritize. Secondly, when I mentally try the outfit on me, I realize quite clearly that the outfit is just not "me." I don't admire it any less. On the other hand fashion is an evolving thing and being inspired by others to try something different helps my own style evolution.