throw out the bikini! - YouLookFab Forum

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Dressing

throw out the bikini!

lori

i have been at the beach and pool for the last 4 days and have to say, ladies, that if you are over 30 and have had kids, PLEASE don't wear a bikini! You may think that a bikini is the only option, but it's not. I just saw WAY too many woman lounging in what should never be seen in public - old, see thru bikinis and sometimes, new, see thru bikinis...and it just wasn't a good sight. I know that i shouldn't be bashing what others wear - but please, ladies, be a lady and try out a great looking one piece. You will feel better, and look better, i promise!

Dressing

20 replies

Latest reply was from Nicole

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Lori! I posted about the cozzie that YOU have today. Please offer your opinion on it. I know that you look fab wearing it. I have no doubt that you looked better in your one-piece than anyone else lounging around by the pool.

christie

I disagree with this. Certainly, we usually think that many people who wear bikinis probably shouldn't, but that's because our eyes are used to seeing thin models, teenagers, and actresses in bikinis. But more power to that woman who feels comfortable enough with herself to wear a bikini, even if she doesn't have a thin body or flat belly.

I love when I go on holiday to somewhere with many Europeans. The ladies of all shapes wear bikinis, then take their tops off. I love it. They don't care if they are 21 or a size 2. I grew up in a family where the ladies always wore bikinis--even after having children. Size doesn't matter.

I love to wear a bikini. I don't have a perfect, cellulite-free body. But I'm really comfortable with my shape, and I find 2 pieces more comfortable to wear on hot days than a 1 piece. I find 1 pieces matronly. And if I ever do have children one day, I plan on continuing to wear a bikini.

My point is just that I really don't find it is my place to criticize someone else for her body shape or to tell her that since she doesn't look like Giselle (or an 18 year old), then she has to cover herself to protect my sensitive eyes. That's pretty demeaning.

Ana

(website)

Veteran

Is a beekeeper suit considered a one piece? Anything less for me and I'll look like a beet in about 3 seconds.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I AM European and a one-piece bathing costume convert. I strongly believe that it’s the only way to go after a certain age and a certain amount of children. Some women ARE able to pull off a two piece when they are older, but they are an anomaly (a la Jennifer Aniston, Heidi Klum and SJP). I don’t think that it’s a question of being comfortable with your body. There are loads of people wearing their clothes too tight and their skirts too short. It’s the same thing. These women think that they look nice, but actually it’s just not a stylish look.

Ha! Love it Ana. I’m so pale I’m virtually blue so I’m right there with you turning beetroot purple after 10 minutes in the sun.

christie

I agree 100% with clothing, but I suppose I draw the line at laying in the sun. It is one of the simplest pleasures to frolic on the beach and in the waves. It is so carefree, and no one is there to please.

With everyday clothing, dressing nicely is a sign of respect for oneself and for others. Putting on a nice outfit and doing ones hair for a meeting says that one cares about others and about oneself. It is an impression issue. But when I go to the beach, I just want to relax, play some beach ball, swim and have fun. I don't want to worry about what others think.

Jennifer Aniston, Heidi Klum, SJP--they all have great bodies. They also have more time to devote to their bodies then your average person. But I just don't think that a 40 year old woman with 3 kids shouldn't be allowed to be carefree as well.

I am pale, pale, pale, too, but I tan easily (perhaps its the Sicilian in me), so I love to throw on the bikini in the summer. I hope that in 20 years, I'm still as comfortable with myself to do it still. Starers be damned!

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I hear you Christie and your romantic reasoning does strike a chord with me. At the end of the day it’s up to the individual. It’s generally easier to look good in a one piece after giving birth to children. This is my constant experience with clients. I guess my point is that women who don’t feel confident wearing a bikini should not feel pressured to wear one. They can and do look absolutely beautiful in the right one piece.

Enjoy feeling great in your 2-piece Christie! You have youth, a tiny body and the fact that you have not given birth yet on your side.

emilykate

If you're at a private cabin or something like that, do what you like, but in public places I think being respectful including appropriate attire is important all the time

LaurenNK

Angie~
I think I'm getting a pretty good grasp of style in general from all of the recent reading I'm doing here on your forum...
It seems that there are a few things that ladies can get away with if they are under a certain age, as you mentioned above re: bikinis.

What would you consider the magic age to stop wearing a bikini? (leaving out personal preference and just generally wishing to be appropriate in the eyes of the general public)?

Nicole

Veteran

I have never been comfortable in a two piece bathing suit. Even when I was a kid and body image wasn't an issue.

I am so happy the swim skirt has made such a comeback. If I couldn't buy separate tankini tops and bottoms, I wouldn't be able to wear a bathing suit.

Every woman has issues with herself in a bathing suit--no matter how good everyone else thinks you look. Men really have it made. My husband doesn't even try bathing suits on before he buys them. Actually, he doesn't even buy his own bathing suits. I buy them, he wears them, end of story. How unfair is that?

Becky

Veteran

I hear so much about how the swim skirt is less flattering than a higher-cut leg, but my thighs are the body part I feel most self-conscious about. If you need (want) to cover your thighs, is a swim skirt all that bad?

Nicole

Veteran

I love swim skirts. There is nothing anyone could ever say to me to get me to wear a bathing suit with out a skirt covering me. I don't have a problem with my thighs, the problem for me is more about the bumps and redness from my bikini line.

christie

I think that ladies who feel better covered should wear what they like. But I take offense (not greatly, of course) from comments like EmilyKate's: "in public places I think being respectful including appropriate attire is important all the time :)" Maybe it's the old-school feminist in me, but you are saying that someone with a little extra junk in her trunk is "inappropriate" and "disrespectful." This isn't just clothing or what is appropriate to wear in a given situation, say to a meeting. This is someone's body. And it illustrates how pervasive hatred of fat is in our society.

I'm not intending to start an argument, but I think it's terrible that women are offended by other bodies that aren't as pretty as movie stars.

I say to each her own on the beach, and more power to that Old Bronzed Beer Belly hanging over the speedo! (giggle)

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Nicole, you are hands down the perfect example of someone who would benefits from the concept of a tankini. I’m glad that this was invented for you. You can also wear a skirted suit bottom because your thighs are small. I completely disagree with the idea that larger thigh-ed ladies should wear skirted suit bottoms. This style creates curves instead of minimizing them.

Stephanie

(website)

lori, I understand where you are coming from but I believe you are generalizing too much. I'm 35, have a baby, and I rock a bikini.

emilykate

Christie, I'm sorry to have offended you; however, I feel that you have inferred a meaning from my statement which I did not intend.

When I said "appropriate attire" what I meant was not wearing a bathing suit/bikini/whatever that is ratty or see through/that does not meet local standards for decency. I have absolutely no problem with healthy non-movie-star bodies (not necessarily stick thin, but with a generally healthy BMI), and this includes stretch marks etc. (Stephanie: I hope to be rocking a bikini at 35 too! :> )

I do however think that flaunting a blatantly UNhealthy (as in medically defined as obese) body sets a bad example. This is not "hatred of fat", it is simply a desire not to see the epidemic of unhealthy obesity propagate to the next generation.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

This is becoming a VERY interesting thread. At the end of the day, it's horses for courses and this is not a cop out on my part.

Persona plays a role. I have an eye-catching style, but despite the fact that it’s eye-catching, it’s extremely modest. I am quite covered up as far as cleavage and legs go. It’s a deliberate part of my style. I am a slim, almost 5ft 6, rather straight hourglass who has not given birth to children. I am very comfortable with my body and don’t look bad in bikini. But I feel prettiest and most elegant in a dazzling one-piece. I actually feel juvenile in a two piece (I’m 37). Perhaps that sheds more light?

My opinion has not changed. Everyone looks good in the right one-piece, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t wear a two piece if you’ve got the goods. I suppose “the goods are relative” and precisely the point of this debate. I can’t attach an age limit to it, Lauren. There are teenagers who shouldn’t be wearing bikinis, and 40+ year olds that sport it with style. However, they are few and far between. Re-evaluate your bikini preference after the age of 35. That’s the best suggestion that I can offer.

Stephanie

(website)

Well, just because I can wear a bikini, it doesn't mean that I wear one anywhere except when we go to Mexico. When I take my daughter to swim lessons, I wear a tankini with good coverage like all of the other moms in the class. I've never found a one-piece that is long enough in the torso, though and think tankinis are sort of cute.

Eva

This is a lively thread! I tend to agree with Christie, because I love that women are more comfortible with their bodies (and their bits of imperfection) today than women were years ago. I cheer stars who don't look absolutely perfect in their swimsuit. It makes them real to me. (However, I have been known to lean over to tell my husband, "hmm, she would look better in ____." )

Having said this I might change they type of suit I wear depending on the "venue". For example, I might be more conservative at the "resort" pool than at the public beach in Hawaii, where I see anything goes. I have them all, one pieces, bikinis, tankinis, and skirted bikinis. (I don't have surf shorts)

Interesting comments on the skirted suit, Angie. I am pear shaped with a very slim top, and I like the look of a skirted bikini or tankini because it covers the largest part (my thighs) which can't be covered by a one piece (or a bikini). But my bikini top is substantial bandeau, not skimpy so I think it balances the bottom and draws the eyes upwards. If course, I could be competely wrong!

lori

it is so interesting to hear all your opinions! i am all for having a great body image. I am a slim rectangle who can wear a bikini and am 37. i have worn bikinis in the past, but after my son was born 4 years ago, i began to rethink pool/beach wear. i am also very pale and skin cancer is on the mind lately. so, for me, i choose to be elegantly playful, not fall out of my suit while with the kids, and feel comfortably beautiful while poolside. it also helps that my husband thinks i look hot in my one piece

Nicole

Veteran

Lets face it...if you look good in a bikini, then you will look good in a one piece or tankini. There are people in the world who are over weight, have major cellulite problems, or are overly flabby. There are people in the world who will not look good in any bathingsuit. But everyone should be able to enjoy the beach or pool. I have seen women who were obviously uncomfortable with their figures, swimming in street clothes. I think that is terribly sad.

Also, people (myself included) are prone to criticizing other people. Perhaps it's just a way to make ourselvs feel better about our own flaws and insecurities, maybe it's human nature, or maybe it's learned behavior from our parents.