I have developed a bit of poison eye towards shackets because they have become SO ubiquitous. However, the one you're wearing is gorgeous and so authentically you, Lisa. I think one of best gifts we can give ourselves is to discover and fully embrace our authenticity. I can relate to so much of what you said so eloquently. As always, YLF!

This is a great look. I like the hair colour. I really feel the dull hair / and a limited future for collecting clothes perspective of age… and all other stuff. I may have decades to go, but then I’m sufficiently old to realise how short a decade is. It’s probably good the Liverpool plaid coords are sold out in my size, because I sort of want them but also don’t want to grow my hoard… and I like dyeing my hair and sort of think it’s a heavy lifter in terms of style, moreso than new pants…

Super post. Great steps forward in making sensible, positive changes.
As stated before I retired just in time for pandemic. So not only giving up decades of professional persona and yes, the “ esteem” that went with it, but more immediately and completely than expected, since pandemic cut off most all bits of “ retired doctor” relationships & activities that were available before, & had been planned, the social and the intellectual and the “ fashion “ aspects.
Saying that as part of relating to your own upheaval and how well you have addressed it.
I’ve never colored my hair, but I do wear makeup, and didn’t quit during pandemic ( though, wore less- & more sunscreen!). It’s just hair! So it’s fair game for fun with color and styling at any time of life.

I love the shacket (I know, I don't like the word, either!) --- but it really does look great on you and also appropriate to the life you are living. You are glowing in photo 1! Hair looks terrific!

I appreciate your reflections on that subject. I agree that asking ourselves these questions at times of transition becomes so important, and ultimately leads to better decisions, although it can take a bit of time to get there.

My life has also become more casual. Especially so last year, during the pandemic, when I went nowhere except the trails, and did nothing except bike or walk! This year I've had another shift back to "regular" clothing and even blazers (!) what with the teaching on campus. So I'm glad I didn't get rid of those older items. But honestly, the most important and useful purchases I made in 2020 and most of 2021 were gear and footwear for casual situations. Nothing else made any sense, so mostly, I didn't buy it!

You look excellent, and so does your hair! The topper is great, and so is the whole outfit- very put together.

I appreciate you sharing your thoughts on body, dressing and changes. This pandemic has been difficult for everyone, and a lot of us have had to deal with some similar challenges.

I am late to this and everyone has already said what I want to say. You look great in these clothes and I like your hair.

A milestone birthday along with a pandemic and a change of job are all major things that make us sit back and ponder - along with a realisation that lifestyle changes are needed to stay healthy. And yes Stylefan has nailed the art of buying clothing that is fashionable and functional but also true to her style and palette.

I identify with a lot of this, having moved to WFH in 2018. I found a lot of my pleasure in fashion was tied up in work and workwear. Add to that the pandemic, and reduced socialising, and it’s very hard to get my fashion fix. Then there is also the loss of the self esteem, purpose and connection that comes from working with and seeing people. It’s a challenge to navigate.

I have accepted the “don’t dress for your fantasy life” advice and now apply a strict criteria before adding something to my wardrobe that is very dressy and will only have occasional wear. However, and this might be the more optimistic point, I am now also trying to dress everyday in a somewhat more elevated way. Not like I was going to the office. But not like I was just planning to sit around at home.

So I think your approach should be to concentrate on building a satisfying wardrobe of clothes that will get everyday wear. My advice would be to go for the best you can get in that category. I don’t mean price necessarily (but that could be part of it) but I do mean look closely at the quality and how interesting or unique the item is. Aim for a high joy factor. Be picky. Boots, bags, jackets, coats, scarves, sneakers and shirts can all offer a really good fashion pay off if you choose carefully. And they are super practical.

And YLF. I love the shacket. It’s a good trend for you and you should milk it.

I appreciate your honesty and thoughtfulness Lisa.
To start with the easy stuff, the "shacket" looks fabulous (and not even especially shackety) and your hair looks great to me. There is no obligation to stop coloring your hair, even if you try it. That is one thing that sort of frustrates me about grey hair discussions (not on YLF) - it is not an all or nothing idealistic move. There are a lot more important battles to fight in life than with your hair. Do what makes you happy.

I am all for pursuing health and do take it seriously myself.
Finally, I do live in my head a lot and dress for myself more than anything. I don't see any need not to enjoy style just because the world does not demand it of you.

You’ve been busy! I applaud the self reflexion and the self care. You wear creamy white beautifully.

*runs off with yellow gloves*

You've been through a lot, and I admire how you have tackled the challenges you were facing. I was nodding along to a lot of what you wrote. I quit my part-time sales associate job last February. Sometimes I wonder who I am now, without work and in other ways, too. It does throw one's style into question, doesn't it? I agree with others here that you are looking terrific as ever. Your hair color looks great on you, and with this palette. The ivory coat is a great pick--I like the color, style, proportions. Kudos to the sales associate for steering you toward it! I like your addition of the mustard gloves and bag. As well as they work here, I bet they also go with so many of your earthy neutrals.

Oh, I really feel so much of what you’re saying here. I love Shevia’s point that hair does not need to be ideological or “all or nothing.” Lately I’ve been growing mine out- just out of curiosity- but not loving it. However cutting it short again feels lazy or something…but having long hair feels like a capitulation to some feminine ideal— it’s all major overthinking. Your refreshed hair looks great btw.

As for wardrobe size and needs— of course, many people are in the same boat. I realize I have way too much and though I am “only” 42 I really think about how much more “wear opportunity” is ahead of me. I work from home now— eventually I will retire and move to the country— so how much wear would a fancy pair of shoes really get?? I suspect my office days are over and I sincerely hope my dating days are over— so I could probably just wear sweats for the rest of my life……Etc etc.

Anyway, glad you’re feeling somewhat better and I hope it will get even better from here.

Thank you for your honesty sharing your inner musings. Just getting your thoughts our there must feel very cathartic and hopefully the responses on the forum are mostly empathetic and useful. Not much more for me to add other than I very much like your style and look forward to seeing your transition into your ‘ new normal.’

Wow, you look fantastic. The “shacket” is so elevated and does not look like a shacket as I think of them (plaid, oversized, hanging around the bonfire—lol my high school years revisited). Plus the color is divine on you. As for hair, I went a good six months with no color early on in the pandemic and I shudder when I see those photos. I felt so much better when I resumed coloring so I say do what works for you. Life is short.

Lisa, you look fierce and cool, as always. Happy to hear that you are looking after your health. I hope you’ll post outfits often, as I love to see what you’re wearing.

Well you look fabulous and that jacket is amazing! It's also a good compromise between a dressier jacket that you used to wear, and a more casual look. Love the hair color too.

I relate to almost everything you have said. I turn 60 next February and am struggling with the idea that our time isn't unlimited. Also grew out my hair a few years ago and still feel shocked sometimes when I see myself. Good for you for taking control. I think it is way easier to just slide into a "new normal".

Lisa — I’m late to this and since others have said so many wise and lovely things, I only have a few thoughts to add. We should feel empowered to chose the hair color that flatters us the most — if it’s grey good, if it’s colored good. I went grey a few years ago at a relatively young age because it looks flattering on me. Of course I’d love to have the black hair of my youth, but I can’t, so grey is the second best. But for many, grey hair is not at all uplifting or flattering for their complexion. So in sum — I support women coloring their hair as they age and reject the idea that going “natural” is best for all of us.

I also want to add a thank you for sharing your struggles of late. It helps me, and I imagine others, to know that we are not alone in facing challenge.

I don't have anything to add that hasn't been said, but I love this post and I'm happy for you. Your introspection does pay off, and it's a helpful example that I think a lot of us can identify with.

Oh, Lisa, I had no idea you were going through so much. It hurts my heart to think you ever felt shame about weight gain. I'd like to offer this perspective:

You have survived a global pandemic... the likes of which the world has not seen in four generations. It was frightening, and isolating, and made us all question a lot of things about our personal lives. I know many of us gained weight (15 extra pounds here, 'staycation' mindset, as JAileen said). The weight gain feels quite natural, an instinctive reaction to a dangerous threat - we dug in, and ate food while it was readily available.

Things are graaaadually reopening, but to be honest, I don't think my life will ever be the same 'normal' I had before the pandemic. I used to get caught up in a lot of trivialities, and 'supposed-to's'. My friends say the same. The reality is, it is never too late for a fresh start or a reboot. I think feeling regret or shame is natural, but it's also going to hold you back from enjoying your now, and all the shiny beautiful potential it has for you. You are beautiful enough and young enough for your fresh start - whether it's health, or style, or lifestyle. You want to color your hair? DO IT. You want to find a way to balance a more casual lifestyle with some rockin' fashion? I know you're going to do it! There's no rush, take your time, and enjoy the artistic challenges.

Final thought: You look gorgeous, and I love love love you in these creamy whites! I think this really suits you - quietly rich and elegantly understated, with just a hint of punk-rock.

The YLF forum can be the most wonderful thing , can't it? I have never shied away from writing honestly and openly - I have nothing to hide nor am I embarrassed by myself. I am what I am - always in need of improvement and I own every single one of my shortcomings. I often feel less-than on the forum when the posts get very intellectual and into deep-dive on the meanings of things. Despite having more education than most people (just statistics speaking, that's all), and being reasonably well-read, I'm not always very articulate in that academic/philosophical way. It makes me happy when I *can* connect in my own way.

Brooklyn , assembling a collection of clothes that are really great but get worn daily for *my* lifestyle is indeed my goal. Alyson from TNMA is one of my style heroes in that regard. I'm not into wearing my really nice former work clothes out for walks in the neighbourhood - that sort of thing. It's going to take time, but at least I feel like I have an idea of what I really and truly need.

Barbara Diane - to your question - yes, sometimes I do miss my old work life. But not very often I admit. Commission sales is a very stressful and competitive way to earn a living. The money is good and the lifestyle can't be beat, but I often wonder if I was even suited to it .There is something to be said for going to work, earning your money , and going home with no responsibility to lie awake fretting over. I'm a little under challenged, (because I wish I was running the place, not just being a wage-slave) but maybe I'm too old for that crap anyways

That may be in the broader category of "shacket" but it doesn't look like the kind I see around. It could just be the styling but you look polished (as always) and chic in yours! I can totally relate to the body composition reality check too. Good for you for taking action now for a healthier future!

Sorry to hear you haven't been feeling good about yourself, but YLF here - I like the hair.

Would you prefer it if I called your shacket a 'jhirt' instead? Somehow that feels worse

Only popping in for a few mins. today and wanted to say you look great lisap - whatever you're doing is working :-). Great outfit, good colors on you with your new hair color esp.

You look lovely and so pulled together, Lisa. The colour of the shacket is gorgeous against your skin, and the length of the shacket makes it unique. We don't see many of them around here, but that doesn't surprise me.

I am sorry to hear that you went through a difficult time. I appreciate your openness about your struggles, and I am the complete opposite. It is beneficial to hear that others are going through similar challenges.

Lisa - it is wonderful to have you back - in every sense of the word!

You look stunning and have picked the most elegant colour palette and styles. It has been a hard 18 months, but I am hopeful that better times are ahead for us all.

You look gorgeous--I love every element of this outfit, and your jacket is beautiful!--and your hair looks spot-on to me. Time away is a good thing, to reflect, rest, and so on...I am finding that the continuing pandemic is making me much more reflective than usual: What do I want in life? Where do I want to go? etc. etc. etc.