Jules, I have the same issue you do with short waist/bustiness and can't wear the long pendant necklaces either. I have to shorten chains a lot (I often do this just by fastening the clasp higher up in the links and dropping the extra down the back of my top :P).
However, though we also share smaller features/low contrast coloring, I prefer fairly gutsy jewelry. I don't do dainty. Well, if you mean the really huge statement stuff, then yes, that can be too much. I do wear medium size earrings (vs. large or dainty), although I tend to limit actual glitz (sparkle) to more formal outfits.
(And thanks to Sharan for the kind words. For me, it feels so important to get the jewelry as close to just-right as I can! I don't always succeed, but I try.)