“My current thinking is that my professional role as a physician outweighs all other roles and factors. ”

Our employment often requires us to inhabit a number of roles as we go about our daily routine., but, as your six-year-old friend so sagely pointed out, your public image ought to reflect your primary role. You’ve already carefully calibrated your wardrobe to fit what you deem to be your most important role within this particular setting, so why would you change it to suit the whims of a few colleagues?

I would be tempted to wear it with a suit! I agree with Gryffin and Gaylene.

Thanks for all the thoughtful replies that have been posted since this morning. There are so many great ideas and comments. I wish I had time to comment on each of them, but we had a cyberattack at work today and our internet was down, so I have to finish all my paperwork this evening at home. Ugh!

I have found much to ponder and will do so over the next day or two. I have some quick thoughts that I wanted to record now and then I will need to get to work.....

Gryffin, many thanks for your thought provoking remarks. You will see below that I have spent some time pondering something you said and have found it very useful.

I believe the social workers who told me about the tee, and who were teasing me about whether I owned and wore any regular tees had outwardly friendly intentions. While there is a power difference between my position and theirs, I do not think that consciously came into play when they ordered the tee. There has been a steady increase in the severity of problems displayed by our students over the past 5 years. There has been a corresponding challenge to provide safe and effective educational environments and mental health treatments. There have been frequent classroom staff changes due to injuries, burn out, stress and complaints of feeling overwhelmed. Administors want to promote a feeling of Unity among the staff to help boost morale. Mitigating the stressful setting by promoting team spirit is probably the main goal of the Friday tee. I primarily see their offer of a tee as a positive sign that they accept me as a person who supports the team and not an outsider. I paused this afternoon and thought hard about gryffins comment. Are they trying to bring me down to their level? Is there a need or desire to even the power differential? Is that what the teasing is? Are they jealous? I suspect there is some truth to this, even if it was not the consciously intended. I want to think I am consciously aware of the power I possess in my relationships at work and in my role in the community. I am not certain what other forum physicians would say, but I think there is a certain need for some separation, or clear boundaries between me and my non-physician co-workers. I am not a full member of their pack and can never really be one. Crossing that boundary brings me into dangerous territory. I cannot really be friends with people over whom I hold power. To them I am a potential shark and they could be shark hunters or shark bait. The power differential creates all sorts of interpersonal difficulties that gryffin has nicely summarized as a quagmire. The biggest power concern physicians are used to hearing about are infractions of personal boundaries with their patients, A power difference means the person with less power is more vulnerable. My co-workers may want to equalize that difference, but the danger here is that the difference still remains. Changing my style for a few hours or a day will not really take away my “power” but it could make someone with less power more vulnerable by making them think I am their friend or an equal, and then if something happens and I use my power and it has an effect on them, it will feel much more severe.

Suz once said that her thinking was best done while writing. I have found her words to be very true because writing really forces me to formulate thoughts and clarify ideas. I clearly need more editing work here, but time limits are coming into play.....

Cheers!

I agree with you, spirit tees are the worst, and not representative of a professional workplace/profession. For some reason employers/charities/ events always insist on making them (inevitably large/x large and white or blue) and foisting them on everyone. When ive had to wear them ive been self conscious all day, much more self conscious than being "different " in my regular clothes. Then they get put into donation bin as soon as im confident they don't have to be worn again!
I like the idea of putting it on a teddy bear and letting the children sign it You can always say to your coworkers, i enjoy working with you but i choose to wear my own clothes, you are not obligated to wear the shirts either (unless they are)!

I like the idea of making it into a pillow that patients autograph or putting it on a big teddy bear in your office! Though I guess then I’d have to worry about whether that was demeaning in some way to the staff who actually wear them.
I agree with not wearing— unless you have office picnic day as noted above- but really trying to demur nicely, keep it light, “ thank you!” “these are fun” “ I’m glad everyone is working hard as a team. “

Physician here too. I would definitely not wear it by itself with my regular clothes. Then I would be indistinguishable from the rest of the staff, which I don’t want. I would, however, wear it under my white coat once in a while. I think the tote bag idea is brilliant.

I wanted to add that DH's boss in Kansas City was also the owner of the KC Royals baseball team. When he and his wife attended games, they wore royal blue suits. Her's was silk and I think I remember cobalt heels....the point is no spirit tees even on the team owners.

Very interesting discussion with a lot of wise thoughts. It is really for you to feel the situation, Staysfit, because the line between light hearted teasing and the underlying power struggles you are thinking about is hard enough to judge in the situation and impossible to judge on a forum thread.

I've been following this fascinating discussion.

Just happened to come across this article and though I'd link
https://www.bma.org.uk/connect.....t-you-wear

This actually reminds me of a funny situation in my previous career as an OR nurse. There was one particular doctor there who had a strict policy of never socializing with staff members, so no Xmas party etc. As a joke some of the nurses got a photo of his face, enlarged it to life size and stuck his face on a pole and had it sitting at a table at the Christmas party. Then took photos of everyone partying/cheers-ing with the face. It was pretty hilarious at the time, or it felt that way, but looking back it probably stemmed from an inferiority complex.
However I sympathize as it’s hard being subservient for 12 hours a day, even when one has signed up for precisely that.....
But ultimately...... I remember we really liked that guy, he was incredibly kind to the patients, and that’s why we felt “safe” to kind of send him up a little like that.. he just chuckled quietly at the whole thing. Probably the most dignified response.

I think a tote bag is a great idea. It walks that fine line that you have to walk: maintaining an image as a Doctor, and maintaining camaraderie with your staff

Fascinating discussion! I run into a similar issue in two settings:
1. My DS's cross country races, where I am expected to buy really expensive spirit wear, but I choose to buy knitwear in the team colors instead -- as a size 14, most of this gear doesn't fit well on my body, and I don't want to allocate limited budget to something I can't wear later.

2. I work as a music therapist, but I see clients in their homes, not in a center. Many of my 20-something colleagues wear company tees, casual jeans and sneakers. If I were to wear this, I'd feel like I"m cleaning the garage. I did purchase a jacket and an open cardigan with a small logo, for when I go into the headquarters, but mostly I dress in smart casual, careful to look polished, but not "fancy," because I don't want the mom's to feel uncomfortable in their at-home clothing.

In my case, I think it's important that people see me as a professional -- since so many think I'm just singing songs by the campfire, instead of designing personalized interventions based upon well-designed research.

I LOVE the idea of a pin or a tote. BTW -- it sounds like your spirit tee has a message on it. I'd feel more awkward about this, as compared to a company logo. Messages are very personal, and I have an aversion to wearing advertising. I'd be tempted to print a tee with my own slogan!

Put it on the back of your office chair! I've seen people do that with their union tees at my work. I can't describe it so here's an example. You can always remove it after a month or two, once everyone forgets about it.

So much to think about. I work with many physicians, though I’m not one, but since I have a PhD in a scientific field, I can easily negotiate around the medical hierarchy. Is your organization moving to a model of interprofessional collaboration? I’m certainly seeing a movement toward valuing equally the expertise of all facets of care-giving at the institutations where I’ve worked, and away from a model in which the power is retained by the physicians. You’ve given a lot of thought to this, and I can understand that context is everything. As others have mentioned, it’s hard to judge the exact nature of your context as you think through this. Personally, I think it’s fine not to wear the t-shirt, because it’s clearly not your style, whether there was a difference in your position or not.