Great illustrations!

I didn't really mind the skirts at the longer lengths, but then again, at age 50 I don't like my knees so much anymore. Ha! On you, the alterations look wonderfully gamine.

The jeans alterations are a big Wow for me... I have a pair of cropped dress slacks that I think need some tweaks. They fit in the waist on me, but I'm thinking they need narrowing in the hips and thighs to be perfect... thanks for the inspiration to get them to the tailor.

Goodness, what a difference. Thanks for sharing.

Krish I am really keen to know how tight you got the waists made. I often have too loose waists in order to fit my thighs and haven't been sure how much to take them in.

Yay! !

Behold the power of the sewing needle!!!
One of the main reasons I sew is to get a better fit

Anne, she pinched the waist quite tight, then she told me "Not too much, I don't want to give you a muffin top!". But the waist is snug. Given that denim always gives a little, it's not a bad thing. On another fabric, I would find it too tight. I hope this gives you an idea.

Thanks Krish. What about with the skirts? You got the waists taken in there too right?

Shiny, I encourage you to have your pants altered. They probably DO need narrowing. Some time ago I posted about another pair of pants - dress twill pants - that my seamstress re-did in the way you describe: I thought they were the right size, but she removed a good chunk from the legs and they are still not tight, only better fitting. She also shortened them and created a side slit. Below are before and after pics. The before is the exact same pair in brown. I had that one altered too.

Anne, not the skirts this time. I had had the waist taken in a while back when I had bought them, but they were still too long for me.

Yes, I can see it, definetely keep her:-)

A alterations "wizard" is worth their weight in gold! The changes she made really work. I have always felt alterations make the difference between you wearing the clothes and the clothes wearing you. You look so put together.

This is amazing.
I've been fighting in my head over skirt length--used to wear lots of midis. This makes the difference a couple inches can make very clear. And the jeans don't just look like a different pair--you look like a different person.
Thanks for posting.

Oh, and it looks like you have a cool kitchen too.

These are GREAT - thanks so much for the before/after comparisons!

Great visuals demonstrating why alterations are worth it, thanks!

Krish, you are just beautiful and when I look at your face in the before jeans photo the difference is truly amazing. Not prying for details but I have to say whatever you're doing different now is really working for you.

Thanks!
The idea is not only to find a seamstress, I think, but a good one. It took me years.

fashiontern and Isabel, you are right, personal life changes happened and I think it's worth sharing since you both can noticed the difference.

In 2013, I still lived with - but was technically separated from - my ex, who, despite many other qualities, had a very bad habit of yelling at me for no reason. Actually, now, yes, I can admit it was verbal abuse, plain and simple. Well, this is what daily verbal abuse for years will do to someone, and it shows in the appearance too, don't be fooled. I had become like frozen, detached, very passive. I had found a way to send my son to study in a different city just to avoid submitting him to the daily yelling and belittling.

But I found the strength in me to leave. It was extremely difficult and scary because my ex was well-off and had a prestigious status in the government, while I was facing living on very low wages with zero job security, and move out to a poor neighborhood. It meant leaving a house to go live in a tiny apartment that I wouldn't know if I could pay for from one term to the next. It meant praying for my car not to break down in the snow, and giving up my beauty regimen at an age when wrinkles start appearing. It meant letting my hair grow because it's cheaper to keep up. etc, etc. I didn't even realize back then I was entitled to help. But still, I leapt.

The second jeans picture is taken 3 years later, in the apartment's kitchen, by my (then 19yr) son. I am happy, I am starting to regain control over my life. I am starting to beleive again this is my life! The minute I left, I felt better. Yes, it was very scary and I did experience set backs at work. The walls of my new abodes were not new-freshly painted, with the occasional bug crawling on them; I had to sell my Mercedez to get a cheaper car, yes, I had to start shopping at Winners and space out my beauty appointments. And during this time I could never go on a vacation, let alone take one. But never did I feel a horrible pinch, never did I regret, never would I go back! I am happier now. I remember when I did my first food shopping trip alone and had forgotten something: and _nobody_screamed_ at_me!

I realized the extent of the damage when I started dating seriously a new guy and realized what the previous relationship's dynamics had done to me: I would crouch in alarm for no reason, I never expressed what I wanted, I tended to tip-toe around the other person... all these behaviors are destructive, but the worse was my passivity. My previous abusive relationship had made me too passive and it was hindering my capacity at being a full, complete partner in my new relationship. Luckily my new man is very perceptive, loving and ready to work with me, and I can put those days behind. What you see on the "after" pictures is a woman who is not yelled at every day.

I am sorry for my long comment and for opening up on such a sensitive issue here. I realize other women are also in the midst of similar - or not - personal battles and it's painful and difficult. What I did might not be within reach for some, and that is extremely difficult and painful to even just imagine.

Similar situation with me and I have a really nice guy now. It makes me cry to see you the way you were before. I am so glad you are back! You are full of zest and fire Krish and it really comes through mostly in the way you write and the topics you write about (not easy ones to talk about without people getting mad) but also in your appearance ---much more laid back and vibrant.

Hugs to you, and you rock krish!

Thank you smittie! It's so good that you are in a healthy, wholesome place now, and that you have given love a second chance.
It's very encouraging to read. I am touched by your empathy.

Krish, I started reading your entry because I, too, have a good seamstress and was interested in seeing what you'd been able to do in working with yours (good stuff, obviously!). And then I read your inspiring explanation of the inner changes that people are seeing as well. I just want to say that I'm impressed with your courage; both in leaving an abusive situation, and in sharing your experience. One never know the ripple effect that can come from bravely detailing events like these. Thank you, and many blessings on you and your son as you continue on your path of freedom.

Holy alterations, Krishna! Mother's love, that led you to send your son to safety, is amazing. But it is so good that you were eventually able to make that change for yourself. It must be so healthy for your son to see you stand up strong, land on your feet, and build a happy life. He's been in a prime age to learn about relationships and love, and what an amazing master class you have given him!

Paula and fashiontern, thank you for your kind words.
Yes, what happened had an impact on my son, for the best. He helped me with things like calculating my new budget - i am so blessed with him. It was a learning curve for him too. But never was it more difficult because I had left, quite the opposite, if anything, subsequent normal bumps were probably easier to identify and to address. Really, this move ended up being so much more feasible than I had envisioned. Funnily, i also took him to that seamstress for a couple of adjustments on jackets.

Thanks for being both brave and open-hearted enough to share your story! As Paula said, you have undoubtedly given strength and courage to someone who needs encouragement - and you've inspired every one of us who have seen your story!
Wishing continued strength and happiness for your son, you and the new man in your life!
Oh, and thanks for the tailoring tips, as well.

It only makes sense that your son's things didn't fit either. Besides growing and settling into his teen body, stress expresses itself on and through the body.

Huge difference! I especially love how great the jeans look with the custom tailoring.

I know you've shared some pieces of the unhappiness of your marriage before but didn't realize the extent of how painful and damaging it was. I am so sorry you had to live with that for so long. I'm glad you are free today. You look so much more uplifted.

Loved your short hair but it looks great long too. I'm also going through a long-to-me hair phase.

Thank you, Krish, for sharing a bit of your personal story. Your strength shines through your writing and your photos!

Thank you Ryce! How very sweet of you to take the time and write this heartening message.
Fashiontern, you are spot on: I too beleive children's growth can absolutely be influenced by their psychological state. It happened to my son when he was younger. At one point he was unhappy at school: after we helped him sort it out, in the following month he suddenly experienced a huge growth spell. After my move, my son went through a "liberating" moment, shall I say; I wouldn't go as far as saying it was directly because of the move, but most certainly our new position allowed him to spread his wings. He was more relaxed, more confident. He also started wearing jeans (!) something new for him. Now he wears them all the time (Lucky Brand Slouch Skinnies). (I put a pic of my son and I in which he's sporting them).
Kari, it's so good to see you again. Yes, the altered pairs are so much better now. Tailoring has made me save money with regards to jeans. Instead of incessantly looking for that elusive *perfect* pair out there, I just brought the ones I already owned for the seamstress to assess: and sure enough, she re-touched most of them (all at the waist), for the best results. A Costco-bought 19.99$ pair of high-rise, among others, which used to veer towards mom's jeans (in the undesirable way) now fits as though I had spent big bucks for them (although with higher brands you get better denim quality, which has an impact too).
I just took a peep at your recent post about your style change. It is so exciting. You longer hair is absolutely lovely, and I very much understand why you are so happy with it. The length does change you!
And your glasses! And your smile! I will write more on your thread.
About my situation: you said it exactly: I am free.

I too noticed an amazing change that seemed more than just a change in hairstyle (although I love that too). Thanks for being so open and honest. You and your son look vibrant and happy.

Your story inspires me. Thanks for having the courage to share it. Your alterations are superbly done and make a clear difference.

That is a great picture, full of vibrancy and love. My son has just passed me in height, so it's fun to see a mother/son pic where he's so much taller.

I really liked these jeans, purchased 14.5 years ago. I think the fabric would work now as a bit of boho chic, especially around the holidays, but the cut is why I buried them. They are not worn out at all, but are very baggy in the thighs/butt. I'm going to take them to an alterations shop (I don't know of any seamstress or tailors here) and see what they can do. Fingers crossed!

Fashiontern, very cool fabric! I understand why you would have kept them for so long. Good for you! Are they high waisted?
I suggest taking in waist and hip/ leg sides (from the waist down), and maybe consider shortening them to reveal the ankle:a bit like Audrey Hepburn iconic cigarettes pants.

I am glad that you are in a much better place now, it definitely shows. You were lucky that you were able to sum up your courage to make the necessary changes.
Your son is a handsome young man, that is a great picture of both of you.
The alterations worked out very nicely, a good seamstress makes a difference.