I'm not done reading the article yet but MaryK's remark certainly ring's true, and like Una I am already not in love with the author. I found this statement very telling:

"I can’t just magically dress like a Quaker or a Muslim because I’m tired of dressing like an American.”"

As if Quakers were not American. As if Muslims are not also Americans. Hmph.

What really jumped out at me was that this woman viewed her previous mode of dress as a "costume" and not something that represented her authentic self. The hypocrisy and judgement and sweeping generalities that some of you have mentioned seem to spring from the author's huge resentment of her "cultural regalia." The irony is that I'm sure some women probably feel just as stifled and trapped by a modest look as she did by a coiffed look.

This is exactly the reason I love YLF so much. There is no shoehorning here! We are not expected to dress alike - and more, we gain the courage to strike out on our own. Really on our own. Not just swapping one template for another (which is what I think the author did, honestly).

It is a slippery slope to judge somebody's values based soley on their appearance. To me the author was shackled by her own belief system rather than external forces. Fashion is a game and there is always the choice to opt out.

Well, she's sorting things out for herself, isn't she.

I'm all for plumage, myself.

Thank you all for your many, many thoughtful comments.

There is an underlying assumption on her part that plumage, adornment is "bad" and outer modesty is "good." It's also the unfair assumption that a well-dressed woman is high maintenance. Sometimes this may be true. However, I have learned it is equally true that a poorly dressed woman can be high maintenance -- I see it all the time as a server.

The author's defensive reply to the comments on Salon is interesting, I copy-pasted it below:

Lauren Shields:

Thank you all so much for commenting!

I haven't read all the comments-- some of you guys are downright nasty, and most of you who are seem almost not to have read the article at all, so go ahead and hurl insults at some stranger-- but the one point I do want to address is the whole, "Why is this such a big deal?" thing.

EXACTLY. Why IS it such a big deal when a woman changes her appearance because she's tired of trying to look how her culture tells her she should look? Why do so many people on the internet feel so strongly about one young woman's desire not to be looked at as much for nine months? I mean really, this project was just about ME trying to wean MYSELF off of my dependence on my appearance, and instead the discussion has become one of whether or not I'm just trying to get attention, or a book deal, or whatever.

Here's the truth: YES, I WANT A BOOK DEAL. I THINK THIS PROJECT CAN HELP PEOPLE, AND I JUST FINISHED GRAD SCHOOL AND HAVE LOADS OF STUDENT DEBT. Being "different" doesn't put food on the table. So yeah-- book deal please. But really, if I just wanted attention I would have gone on Girls Gone Wild, or some talk show about Badly Behaved People Who Hate Each Other.

I think the real issue is this: in the West, we equate feminine liberation with exposure of our bodies. We get real pissed off when a woman says, "You do NOT have the right to see my legs, or my hair, and you do NOT have the right to tell me to wear more or less makeup. Those are personal choices, and you have no right to critique them one way or another." Now, my project is related to my appearance of course, but the point is what I DID to try and get out from under the idea that I had to adhere to "mainstream" beauty standards to be taken seriously, not how I looked while I was doing it.

Thank you all for engaging in thoughtful commentary, and for those of you who have not but have left comments anyway, I say... thanks for visting.

End Quote

This part says it all: "Why do so many people on the internet feel so strongly about one young woman's desire not to be looked at as much for nine months?"

This is all about an attractive woman who decides for 9 months to be less attractive, to ward off all of the unwelcome attention she was used to receiving. And as MaryK says, guess what, she finds out, she's still beautiful! If you are not used to getting so much attention from the get-go, that is like a modesty project you live with your entire life.

Which reminds me of how stunning actresses, who put on weight, go without make up, and use prothsestics to make themselves less attractive -- win Oscars for it. (Charlize Theron in Monster, Nicole Kidman in The Hours.) Why do we need to celebrate the strength of an attractive woman to become less attractive, like it's worth a special prize?

Ok now so much ugh. She's honestly more like a self-righteous Kardashian or that chick who Prozac Nation (Elizabeth Wurtzel I think?). Just trying to get attention, but in a holier than thou way.

Late to the discussion but I had to stop at Suz's remarks because she nailed my thoughts EXACTLY!

Now, I'm going back to read the rest of the remarks. I saw some criticism of this on Jezebel so I had already read about the project. I do get the feeling that this was all a bit of a play for a book deal. It feels hollow to me.

Ok, I'm back after continuing, and thank you, Denise, for including that additional bit. The whole thing just seems to scream "LOOK HOW MODEST I AM" which, of course, is the opposite of modesty, and goes right back to BethAnn's very astute points.

So, yeah, Anna, I can see a bit of the Wurtzel comparison, but on the other end of the spectrum ("LOOK HOW F'D UP I AM").

Yah, I have to say she comes off as a poser. One notices she didn't describe her experience of 9 months in drab. Her piece is all run-up and lessons-learned. Makes you think the lessons came in a can.

It's a little bit like watching my dog sit when I tell my bf's dog to sit, 'cuz she thinks that'll send the treat her way.

In her defense: She's young.

My own wishful thinking: Gosh. It WOULD be nice to be able to decide NOT to be attractive -- instead of other people deciding it for me, like they have my whole life.

I think everything I want to say about this has already been said here, but I just want to add that I think what rubs me the wrong way about this (and, frankly, about a lot of people who purport to be "modest") is that I think true modesty would mean that you wouldn't need to brag about how modest you are.

I wouldn't have read as much of her blog as I did, if it weren't pouring down rain. I've been trapped indoors for three days, and like a cat, I do not like getting wet. Unless it's in the pool!

My impression was that she is trying to be cutting-edge and unique, and maybe make a splash in Bloggerland. I also think she really is feeling some sort of lack in her life, and searching for something intangible to bring her a bit of fulfillment or self-validation. Nothing wrong with that!

I don't find her writing interesting or compelling - so I won't be reading her book. She comes across as somehow naive, and a little self-righteous. But to each her own

For my part, I find great aesthetic joy in styling myself, and grooming myself, and I really enjoy seeing other people's style journeys and revelations. There is a real artistry in how everyone here styles themselves.

I would be very sad to log on here and see you all swathed in shapeless black garments.

LBD, I think that would be hilarious! We should do it for April Fool's Day next year!

OK this has got me fuming.
If you want to write about modesty. Buy a cheap reliable car, if you want get a dog ala Steinbeck's Travels with Charlie. Go all over America interviewing modest women. Do the Quakers still exist? Visit the Amish, the Mennonites, out west visit the Mormons, visit the ex-communicated Mormons who live on compounds and practice polgamy but still dress modest, the urban Muslims.
Then go write your book.
Hell if I was better writer I'd go do it myself because it sounds a whole lot more interesting and thought provoking than this self indulgent whining drivel.

rant over.

It sounds like she was looking for who she is, and it sounds like she's still looking. The way she went about this almost makes a mockery of the women who practice hijab and modesty and their reasons for doing so (hint: it isn't to make people stop looking at them or to blog about it). There are plenty of people who dress modestly for no religious reason, but simply because they choose to, but I don't suppose that would have nearly the impact she imagined co-opting the practices of other religions or cultures might. *insert eyeroll here*

I think there is a worthwhile discussion to be had about modest dressing, makeup, societal expectations, etc. I just don't feel this is the woman to begin, lead, or even contribute to that discussion in a meaningful way.

Lol, Mary K. I vote for the house frocks that balloon over the bosoms. Y'all know what I'm talking about. The kind that prevent you from sticking to the plastic upholstered sofa while you lean over and jiggle the fryer basket.

Also, LOL Anna. Snap.

I don't think the writer was intentionally demeaning anyone - and I think it's kind of funny that she has managed to infuriate so many different groups of women. Which is wrong, I know, but still... funny.

Annagybe, write that book and I for one, will purchase and devour it

And MaryK, don't think for a moment I'm not tempted! But I never want to hurt someone's feelings or think I am belittling what they choose or may be required to wear. However, I am loving Rachylou's idea!

OR... we could join this group, started by a friend of mine... The International Order of Mrs. Ropers...

https://www.facebook.com/group.....38;fref=ts

Or maybe this is a topic for a new thread. I don't want to hijack this one.

True confession...my love of all things caftan was inspired by mrs roper.

Anna, I 100% agree with you. This half-baked attempt at ethnography is not the best advertisement for her grad school. o_0

I would have found this more interesting if she maybe, you know, looked inward to find a style that resonated with her. Appropriating religious garb because she's tired of being so coiffed is a bit insulting, and her view of modest dress is overly simplified and almost childish. Modesty isn't just some sort of freedom from Western pressures and oversexualization... it's not a mental break from thinking about your looks...

She makes it sound like modesty is a refreshing vacation from Spanx.

Phew. I was worried I'd be the only one who felt the way I did when I posted - looks like I am not alone here at all.

Not at all, Una! In fact I keep coming back to this thread, lol.

I've decided that the thing that bugs me most is that the entire argument is flawed. There's nothing that makes me twitch more than a nonsense thesis. Her statement that modest dressers don't make appearance "the cornerstone of [their] identity" is simply false.

Modest dressers make appearance the cornerstone of their identity more than the average person. If they didn't care how they looked (in the eyes of God or otherwise), then it wouldn't matter if they dressed modestly or scandalously. The assumption for the author's entire argument is a fallacy and, as such, the conclusions drawn all fall apart.

Exactly. It's intellectually disingenuous in such a trite way. And while triteness is not an exclusive or presumptive characteristic of the young, beautiful and privileged, it certainly doesn't help her case.

I think if she approached this more honestly, instead of from a high, pseudo-intellectual, psuedo-religious perch, it might be seen more favorably. As in, "I am a pretty girl. For much of my young life, a lot of my identity and personal power has been wrapped up in this identity. However, it was a lot of work, and I was starting to feel like I had to put on a uniform. So I decided to do this experiment. To become a modest, even mousey looking person for 9 months. And guess what, to my surprise, I found "the one!" being this unadorned, modest-looking person!"

For sure. Less self-righteousness. But I was once that age and probably sounded just as arrogant and self-absorbed to others too...

I hear you, Una. Me, too. Or so I fear.

But listen, not all young people sound this way. Listen to Rae!!!

Ditto to what Una said. Her sweeping, yet shallow generalizations are naive. She sets my teeth on edge.

I agree, CocoLion.
I can defintely understand her desire to escape from the hyperfocus on looks that she describes. If she felt that her life was shallow and lacking I think it was a good idea to focus less on looks, minimize her wardrobe and try to find other meaningful things in life. If only she had approached it in a different way, and didn't go on about
"modesty" (very strange word to me, not sure if it exists in my
country) and insensitively talked bout other's way of dressing for religious
reasons.

I agree with Suz and Rae. And I like Rachylou's reflections about what Catholics say of modest dressing. As a Catholic myself, I have a hard time conciliating these two realities:
1) Women's indisputable right to dress as they choose;
2) Most men's high sensibility to any sexual suggestive image... let me explain... we live in a highly pornographic society where sexual images abound; yet in men's biology, arousal comes easily, and it makes it even more difficult, if not impossible for some of them to abide by certain Church rules if they wish to. After a while, the suggestive bombardment ends up numbing them, which participate to the general expectation of women to look even more outrageously "made up". I used to hate men, really, because of the unfair treatment women get in society, and I used to blame it on each and every one of them. I thought they didn't need my sympathy, and that I wouldn't change the way I dressed. But life made me a mother of one, and my heart changed. However, I cannot bring myself to completely abide to the idea of dressing "modestly" all the time, in a way that isn't me.

This aside, I would like to point out that after living myself in a Muslim country, it is not true that any Western woman would embrace the modest dressing from there. It's too hot, uncomfortable, it hides you, and very bothersome.
I hated it.
I didn't need to wear all of it, thank God, but I still needed to be much more covered than normally.
Then it made any woman dressing "normally" look like a slut.
I think that many women who are "proud", as she states in her article, are really alienated.

That is not to say we aren't. The prevalent Kardashian image is a sad representation of our ultimate alienation to a superficial and materialistic ideal. I understand the writer's need to get away from it, to find herself back. She chose a drastic method, but it worked for her. It doesn't mean she'll do it again in 10 years.

Ironkurtin's remark should be pondered. So true. And to go further on her point, please watch this powerful testimony:
http://youtu.be/xPAat-T1uhE

I have really enjoyed reading everyone's opinions. I would like to preface my statement with this is not directed at anyone, especially you lovely people here. This has been on my mind for a while and I think I finally have put my thoughts together enough to write it.

This reminds me of a few other things I've read/people I've met while in school. If you where a shorter skirt/dress, then you're kowtowing to the man/western civ/anti-feminist notions/insert-what's-wrong-with-society here. If you dress "modestly", then you're straitlaced/a prude/insert-how-you've-been-wronged-by-society-here. It's all about "Look at me. I'm different than everyone else. I'm special. I'm a free thinker and I'm going to take on everything that bothers me in the world."

Maybe I'm too in my box on how I think (I've been told that, but that's another story), but I always want to ask, why are you tell me this? What point are you trying to get across? You did an experiment? Fantastic. Do you learn from it? Even better. But you want to extrapolate your findings to what's wrong with everyone else? You've lost me. To me, the author sounds like the typical student who has heard something that he/she never thought of and now must go out and make sure everyone else knows. Shoving down our throats if need be. And at the same time, I feel like she doesn't get it. What's she going to do next? Is she going to keep trying to top her 9 months or 1 year of modesty with something else?

Ok, I'm a bit of cynic. I hate that I am, but when I see things like this in my town fairly frequently, after a while, it gets old. Do what makes you happy and feel good about yourself.

And I can't wait to be able to wear my "Beauty Suit."