Your post was a true pleasure to read. Angie and YLF has indeed performed magic and continues to do so. And DH sounds like he is worthy. Thank you so much for sharing.

so very well said -- my experience is so similar to yours, Maneera. My wardrobe has gotten very "real" since joining YLF and I LOVE having something pulled together to wear every day.

Thank-you for sharing your journey. I love hearing about your style journey and admire you for making the changes you needed to make.

I love this and could relate to so much of what you were saying. Thank you for sharing so candidly.

I’m overwhelmed with all the replies here J I think this post warrants individual replies.

Thanks Jenn. I think my style is definitely becoming more organic, more in sync with my casual lifestyle while also catering to my slightly dressier aesthetic. I learn something new every day and am thoroughly enjoying the process of evolving my style.

Una, I can completely relate to you. While you may not be dressing 100% in the way you want, most of your outfits always always have that UWP/RATE quotient that make them indigenously Una. Be it your crazy hair or your edgy footwear choices, I see glimpses of your fantasy life filter out into your everyday outfits…and I find that extremely inspiring.

Di, my friend! Well, to be honest, you get extra special credit for my evolving style. After all, every time I try something new-to-me: be it a silhouette, cuffing of jeans, a shoe style I haven’t worn before or a new color combination, YOU are always there to help. Your keen eye and evolved sense of style help me accept changes and *see* things differently too. Thanks a lot for everything you do.

Shelia – I am humbled by your sweet, gracious reply. I’ll confess – I felt a little silly writing this post and wasn’t sure I should even post it! But YLF has always been more than kind and accepting of each one of us, and I wanted to share my story. Thank you.

UmmLila – I have seen your WIWs, and I know you manage to look polished and fab even when working from home. I wish I could wear blazers and pencil skirts at home too…It’s not that I fear soiling my clothes or don’t want dog hair on my blazers, it’s just that my weather rarely complies. We have reached 46 deg C temperature this summer…and our everyday temperatures hover around 39-42 deg C. That’s TOO HOT to wear anything structured because here in India we also do not have central air-conditioning in homes. Each room has its own AC unit, so when you move in and out of rooms, you go from 24 deg C (temp I like to maintain indoors) to 42 deg several times a day. Plus the kitchen and bathrooms have no AC. I would boil alive in structured clothes!

Shannon – I am a fan of how you say things so well with such few words! “I want my "organic" style to come to me, not me go find a style.” You kind of summarized my longggg post with just one sentence!

Thanks Avia Mariah!

Lisa – Its really good to know I’m not the only one who has ever put on blazer and heels for a weekend breakfast Style is an on-going process for all of us….there is a reason our style keeps evolving – it must cater to our evolving lifestyle. You look ah-ma-zing and I think you get it right more often than not J Your last WIW left me wowed…as do most WIWs you post.

Krishnidoux – You’re so right! Living in a high-rise certainly doesn’t help. You don’t have to step out to get your newspaper or get mail. You don’t have to water your outdoor plants and you don’t just see other neighbors going about their chores while you’re in your garden. I can go for days without seeing any other human being besides my husband, and I can certainly wear PJs all day long because there is little need to change out of them. A lot of ppl I know do just that, including my own sister. I see a lot of people walking their dogs in PJs at all possible hours, and I could easily be one of them. But I like to wear ‘everyday’ clothes once I’m showered because I want to feel dressed and ready.

Jill58 – You’ve brought forth a very interesting point. The ultra casual direction that "leisure time" clothes seem to have taken is kind of a double edge sword. While it makes it possible for us to wear super-comfy yoga leggings and a sweatshirt to go grocery shopping on Sundays without looking like we just rolled out of bed, it also means that if we make a little ‘extra’ effort, we stand the chance of looking ‘overdressed’. I think a sweater and scarf on weekends is Just Dressy Enough (JDE should be an acronym here!) to make you stand out in a sea of overtly casually dressed people, but still being quite appropriate. With a little more practice, your ‘out and about clothes’ and your ‘at home’ clothes can merge. As for our dressy outfits --- no harm keeping them in a separate closet for date-night and special occasions!

Gail – Identifying that you have a ‘problem’ on your hands is the first step to fixing it. I applaud you for giving your purchases extra thought and returning the things you know you can’t do justice to. It’s not always easy J

Angie – It is a RELIEF to love my wardrobe every day. It’s amazing how small tweaks made me love everything I wear. Even at 40-46 deg C, I am able to dress for my life every single day, without looking or feeling sloppy. It was kind of hard initially ---- I couldn’t literally use all your outfit ideas and advice since my climate is the opposite of yours and too hot too often. But soon I learned that it’s the ‘essence’ of your advice that I really need to master; not the exact combinations.

Thanks for the boost Helena J You’ve always been very encouraging of my sense of style….and I really really appreciate your comments.

Unfrumped – ‘tyranny of the missed wardrobe opportunity’! Yes! That’s what I lived with! Like you, sometimes I miss a whole month of fancy outings too. For example – I may prefer to go swimming instead, because it is soooo hot that the very thought of ‘dressing up’ and going out to eat is unbearable. I’d rather get into a swimsuit and enjoy some refreshing cold water! But when I was obsessed with clocking those ‘wears’ for my dressy wardrobe, I would force myself to dress up and go out in the heat, no matter how much I didn’t want to.

Thanks Aliona!Yup, my dressier clothes are all classics and I do intend to enjoy them for many years J Can imagine you agonizing over what to wear at this point in life, but then I can see from your WIWs that you have great personal style, and will look amazing even post retirement J

Thanks DakotaCheryl and StyleFan.

Aziraphale – You’re officially my style inspiration now. I want to look stylish in a great pair of jeans too!!!! And yes, I like to book ‘date night’ every time I miss my dressier dresses too J

Brooklyn – I love your WIWs and think you always dress super amazing! At least you tend to buy disproportionately for your work life rather than your leisure life; I was buying for an ‘imaginary’ work life!!!! And to be honest, when you go to work 5 days a week, you need more variety “there”. I am sure Ms. B and Hubs don’t mind seeing you in the same loungewear over and over

Sally – Thank you so so much. I would really really love to meet your too! I hope to get to come to India soon enough, and that I can plan my trip to NZ soon enough too!

Thanks Shevia, Debbie, Sarah and BrieN. The magic of YLF has touched all our lives….and I am so touched that so many of you commented on this unbelievably long post. Thanks again!

I didn't realise this was what was behind the different WIWs. This is one of the BIG things I've learned at YLF too and I feel very moved by your experience. I think it makes a huge difference in wardrobe satisfaction, and You Look Fab. Dare I say, maybe even better. Just lots of life!

You've gained such insight, and you have captured your experience so well. I really appreciate your sharing these thoughts with us, so we can learn, too. I've had to make some adjustments since leaving an office job. When I made that career decision, half of me dreaded missing the work and being connected to other people professionally and half of me dreaded not dressing for that role any longer. No more professional clothes! What was I going to sew for myself? Seriously, I worried about that. It took me several years to realize I could keep my sewing machine quite well occupied by making t-shirts to wear with jeans and my beloved cardigans. With much influence from YLF, I have evolved my style beyond the round-neck cardigans that were my daily home-based uniform (though I still have quite a few of those, in updated versions, along with other cardigan styles), and I have also gone beyond the t-shirt in my sewing. The designer t-shirt remains my favorite fast fall-back option to wear and to make, but it's just part of a continually evolving wardrobe tailored to my very casual, fashion-obsessed life.

Beautiful post! I struggled at first with being attracted toward businesswear also. But like you, I work at home and didn't know where I would wear the items. I did buy a few pencil skirts and businessy pieces, which I wore to church, but I was quite mystified as to how to dress the rest of the time. Looking back, I am amazed at myself that I was able to figure it out! I do get out every day, to do ballroom dancing or to go to church, so that helps me have a reason to dress up, but it is still casual--just stylish casual.

Such a wonderful post, your humour and personality shines through. As someone who has only ever know the amazingly stylish Maneera, it is nice to know that you were not always so perfectly put together. Being overdressed is something that I struggled with after changing jobs from a very corporate environment to a more relaxed one. Maybe I am still struggling with it - but I do enjoy being dressed up from time to time. At work we have now moved to adjustable desks with the view to standing up at work for 4-5 hours of the day, so I am having another work wardrobe tweak in having to wear shoes that I can stand in for at least half the day!

Thanks for sharing your story. I have the opposite problem as I don't want to dress up at all. I would wander around in sneakers and black skinny jeans if I could. I have to dress appropriately for my job (not majorly formal but not in the teenage sloth style I gravitate to) so I am starting to find ways to be authentic and myself but still appropriate. You always look lovely in your photos and trendy. You have a lovely smile and always look relaxed but stylish. You also like striped tops and sneakers...so on trend. I have been to India because I'm married to an Indian. Next time I go, I want to go shopping with you...he's no good at shopping and his family all wear sarees.

Well Rachy - now you know why! I think I'm moving towards a more 'authentic' style these days....so that's good news!

Sharan - thanks for chiming in. In fact I aspire to look polished and elegant in jeans & tshirt the way you do. You're a HUGE inspiration for me. You have a certain je ne sais quoi that I struggle to find for myself....I think 'effortlessly' cool will take a bit more effort on my part! I really need some designer t-shirts too....it's only after I joined YLF that I realised HOW much I love knits.

Gigi - glad you have it all figured out! My style moniker is 'Comfortably Dressy' and your 'Stylishly Casual' sounds much similar! Kuddos!

Bijou - you have me blushing! You're so gracious and kind....thank you! I looked anything but perfectly 'put together' in my few initial casual WIWs! (Atleast to me). But thank you for always being sooo encouraging. I really really appreciate it.

Sally - you got it! I'd love to take you shopping! I live in the capital of India, so I hope you will call me next time you're coming to India! I think we have a similar body shape - top heavy with slimmer lower half. I learn a lot from your WIWs.....

Hah, this was a very good read, really enlightening! Thanx for posting, Think we all have had our weakness sometime during our lives when coming to dress for our fantasy lives:-). My share on this would be that sometimes I fail to recognize in serviceable time that I am probably bit left behind by my life events and dressing up to them. I mean, I often am quilty to continue to shop for an event which already passed as if I could perhaps do even better the next time. And then that event never shows up again. So sad:-).

Maneera, this is an amazingly well-explained and heartfelt story. It's something, how clothes which are supposed to be a "little" thing can wreak so much insecurity and identity angst. We all appreciate your story of transformation into a liveable,breathable life. Plus, you are an extraordinary writer! I'm not joking.

Glad your husband had so much patience and insight. I'm not sure most guys would have the understanding to gently allow these realizations to play out.

Maneera, I want to thank you, too! I am a long way behind you in the process of figuring out my personal style, so you continue to inspire me.
My climate is not as hot as yours, but my lifestyle is pretty casual. I love your posts and WIWs for styles that I can use.
YLF is an amazing place. Maneera, you are truly fab, inside and out : )

Maneera this is such a beautiful post and so much of it resonated with me.
I think it takes courage to look critically at ourselves like you did and share it with us.
Ylf is a very special place.

What a wonderful post Maneera, I'm so glad you shared your backstory. I know when you joined you said you had too many dressy clothes, but I had no idea why, and how much they were effecting you. I've really enjoyed reading all the comments as well, I've had many small lightbulbs go off!

I think I still buy for my fantasy life... or at least, get the proportion all wrong. I used to spend all my money and effort on work, and very little on my evening/weekend wardrobe. When I discovered YLF, I wanted to update my work stuff, plus develop the casual side. I think my "style" has evolved more/better in my casual wear, and I love casual clothes, so I've accumulated more than I need as I've experimented. This has left me having no trouble dressing for going out for supper with the family, but I'm still struggling a bit with "me" at work, style-wise. And I need to go out more, to enjoy my casual clothes!

Lyn - trust me, you aren't alone! I've done that too!!!! Sometimes I get so wrapped up in a event or occasion, I continue shopping for it even after its over. I tell myself "I'll have better options next time"....but that 'next' time rarely comes. We live, we learn!

Mochi - I'm humbled beyond words. Thank you! And yes, my husband is a truly special person. I sometimes wonder what did I ever do to get this lucky!

Helen - I think you're doing pretty great. Personal style is an on-going process; one that takes time. I suspect I have more time to spare than you...honestly. Your style seems just right for your lifestyle

Celia - thanks. I'm glad I shared this story too

Elizabeth - I would say your style has evolved a lot because you do stylish casual like no ones business! But I kind of know what you mean.....learning to strike a balance is tougher than it looks. Good luck!

I'm very late to finally reading this and commenting, but I can relate too, and I'm training myself to resist things that just don't fit my life. I look at the dressier shoes and other items (blazers, silk blouses) I bought a few years ago and cringe a little. I have to actively work to fit them into my casual day-to-day style, and most of the time I'm either too lazy to bother and revert to FFBO's, or need to put together outfits that have more washable and less precious components. I have a couple of really cute ankle-strap shoes in my closet (one flat, one with a wedge heel) that I never wear. They just don't work for me even though they look really nice on.

I made a lot of these purchases under the influence of YLF -- Ooh! New trend! Ooh! That looks great on (forum name of choice)! Must get! But I'm getting better at identifying past mistakes and not repeating them.

Thanks for articulating this so well.

Oh wow, such a nice post, I hope you feel even better in the future. You are so right.
I think dressing for one's lifestyle is actually one of the best advises I ever got also. I for example tend to buy dresses, but only recently understood I do not ware them so much and most can not be worn to work (too tight or too fancy...) do I stopped and now very picky. Trying to buy only things I will love to wear tomorrow morning.

Wonderful post! Totally relate to this too