I think some basic awareness of trends as well as newish clothing purchases may have some of us dressing more similarly than we would otherwise.

I was recently on a camping trip with couples I did not know, who were basically my age. We were wearing camping gear, so I don't know their normal dress.

The women got on the subject of Michelle Obama and how poorly she dresses. They think her colors clash, the styles are poor etc. This wasn't political, they were genuinely baffled. I ventured that this is how much of middle America dresses, i.e. from J Crew, Target, etc. They said in that case it will be a relief for her when she's not first lady anymore and can wear "nice" clothes.

This suggested to me that there is a whole swath of perfectly well-educated people who haven't ventured into a clothing store or seriously looked at a fashion magazine in a while. But they like what they like & are sticking to it!

And again, my point is that those who follow fashion to a certain degree may be perceived as dressing similarly.

It's funny - I thought that I have not seen the true "fashion conformity" since about 20 or 25 years ago when I used to spend a lot of time on Moscow subway trains.

At the time, the selection of clothes in Russian stores was still fairly limited, so certain "trends" would get picked up in the most literal form - as in, everyone suddenly wearing nearly identical jackets, for example.

Since I haven't really seen anything like that in a while, I don't usually give "uniformity" too much thought. I would also have to say that, like Claire, I don't see anyone else at work wearing boyfriend jeans (or animal print anything, not that I wear much animal print). So perhaps in part it depends on where you are, and he just happened to be in the epicenter of "fashion zone of influence".

Gaylene, I have a reply to your son's comment. "Take a look at the men around here.They have been wearing the same uniform for 50 years or longer". Men's fashion for the office never changes. Why should it be any different for women? Just a thought.

Classically Casual, you make a great point! I usually feel pretty good about my outifts, partly because I feel like they are pretty current. But occasionally (like today in my neon and leopard) I wonder whether people who are not into fashion look and me and think that either I don't know how to dress appropriately, or I'm just plain crazy! LOL

This is one of the main reasons I have not started a fashion blog or even a YLF blog. While many on the forum think I'm edgy and different. I feel that when it comes to fashion blogosphere I'm not actually that unique.

"Caro, he did admit that men dress in a "uniform" but he also pointed out that most men don't spend as much energy and thought on fashion as do women."

No they don't......did he say it like it was a good thing????????????? lol.

An interesting topic...I absolutely see this type of thing here...one year it was jeans in black boots, white shirt and black leather jacket....

My opinion is that someone tries an oufit, another sees it and wants to look 'that good' and copies, FEELS great and keeps wearing it. Actually, in the end it is hopefully for all these women about FEELING great and not feeling individual. And in my opinion, we dress not for men but for other women. As it is the women who notice and check us out for our outfits and we FEEL great when we get approval. So if the current trend is a purple jacket then our eyes adjust to thinking that looks fab and everyone wearing one is then more fab and then pressure to FEEL great requires a purple jacket of your own.

If I choose a yellow jacket I may get a smirk or dismissed and not feel great. It takes more courage to stay your own course and not join the crowd. I think in the fashion industry that pressure is higher than out here in normal life. So I think they conform more, not because their bosses expect it, but because they feel safest and best in the uniform that gets tacit approval. It has taken me alot of money trying to fit into the local uniform and alot of feeling wrong in my clothes enough to finally try to find my own style. It is not the uniform of the locals and I get Lots of looks and a smirk here and there (like yesterday, whoa baby)...but I feel fun and great and have learned to wear what I want. Only myself gets to put down and not like an outfit in the end. But I have an extra edge, coming from a different clothing culture than the people around me and having a different body type and coloring than the majority. It makes me need to find my own style or I personally look terrible and feel terrible. If I could choose to wear what everyone else wears I would do it. It is easier to buy, commonly available, and easier to copy.

I am not sure that we can escape some element of conformity in life (and fashion) for all the reasons mentioned in the previous comments, but what comes to mind for me is our motivation for conforming. I "conform" (fashion wise) when I like something, and it likes me I don't do it in an effort to be something I am not, or to feed into my sense of self worth.

I was thinking along the lines of Jonesy, that it is only the few people at the top who have the freedom to be individual. Besides that, the fact that your son can articulate what these women are wearing so well (hilarious!) and that he actually knows what A.P.C. is (or gasp, shops there) shows that he is pretty fashion-aware himself. Besides that, one of the reasons I like Angie's blog so much is because she does actually have a very individual style and doesn't dress just like the rest of the fashion herd.

Classically Casual, your conclusion is the one that I'm coming to believe in as well. The fashion "group" that you choose is the one that you probably will imitate; that makes it probable that everyone in the group will dress in a somewhat similar way. Sort of like high school?

Makrame, I think the rolled up "look" is also popular in the J Crew style books, among others. As are animal prints.

Deb, as I mentioned, he did concede that men dress in a rather unchanging "uniform", but he was more interested in how the women's "uniform" could be so similar, yet so subject to change. Everyone wearing orange and then dropping it like it was the kiss of death a few months later.

MaryK *laughing*--oh, that does sound like high school. *shuddering*

Anna, interesting comment about the blogosphere. When I first started looking at fashion blogs, the stylings looked so different than what I was used to seeing in the magazines. But, after a while, many of the bloggers do seem to look like they, too, follow a formula-- the blogosphere look.

Caro *smirking* I made the same statement to him! LOL

Jayne, I think you've nailed it! For all the time and effort we seem to devote to finding our individual style "mantras", maybe what we are really looking for is a subtle variation of the norm that will get us the approval of our reference group. That feels safe. It takes a much stronger personality to go against the grain and still feel great. And, when you have different reference groups, the balancing act can sometimes be difficult-- as MaryK pointed out.

Deb, your point about conformity is a good one, but how does one avoid crossing that line where my conforming becomes cloning? I wear something that doesn't suit just to fit in and feed into my sense of self-worth. Hard to judge sometimes.

Scarlet, my son is actually quite aware of fashion both because of his wife and his job. And I agree that Angie definitely has figured out how to look fashionable and stylish without moving into the "clone" category. Her jodhpur jeans and flats make her stand out in a crowd of fashion people who are all in skinnies and heels. And she seems very comfortable when she does this. That's one of the reasons I think her blog outfits are so interesting; they acknowledge the current trends, but are always her own.

Well, ladies, you've given me lots to think about. I have to run, but I'm coming back to this thread to figure out an answer to my son's question. Thanks to all.

You have lots to ponder with DS, Gaylene

To answer your previous question directed at me, it's a very subjective thing, but I think that a certain amount of current is necessary in order to look stylish. Classic looks need to be updated too.

I've worked in the international fashion industry for 20 years. I am judged by non fashion professionals and the fashion crowd. You have to be comfortable with your look in order to be confidant, AND have fun along the way. THAT is is what makes you shine in your style no matter what - and automatically brings in that personal touch and shrug off comparisons and judgements by other people. Sometimes that means conforming to a popular look, and at other times it means going in the opposite direction. It's all good!

Have to run again. Now till Jan is my very busy time of year.

heeheehee........well, my male relatives are getting all up my nose these days, so any responses i can think up tend towards the sarcastic put-down, not the thoughtful remarks i see on this thread !!!

i'll stay out of this one and let you ladies keep the tone nice and high-minded. steph

I have been reading and following this thread with interest even though I have not weighed in. Gaylene, I think your son does raise interesting issues.

When to be conventional and when not to be, and when being unconventional *is* the convention -- I think these are issues that I (and I suspect a lot of us) butt up against not only in our fashion choices and style journeys, but also in other aspects of everyday life.

If you are following Sarah's thread (she posted a skirt-blouse ensemble with a pair of boots, and asked for opinions) , you'll see Angie threw in a "spanner" by voting "yes" on the boots while many others had suggested that Sarah swap out the boots for nude pumps.

I too was rooting for a shoe substitution, but Angie's comment made me reconsider my opinion. Now, like some others who commented on Sarah's thread, I feel that each shoe choice with come with a different consequence in terms of the vibe the outfit projects, and Sarah should choose the shoe that's a best fit for the vibe she's feeling.

The spanner moments are important because they are clone-repelling and, instead, they help us think about our fashion choices in the larger context of style and what might suit the occasion. I didn't wear a white dress at my wedding, and we subbed out dancing for Improv, but we did have cupcakes and toasts. Ultimately, I think you've got to go with what will make you feel good, what you're comfortable doing, and what's more fun. I also find it's easier to buck trends as I get older - perhaps the women your son is referencing might feel more comfortable about expressing their individuality as they get older?

I'm not saying anything others haven't said, but that's my $0.02.

And, oh, Gaylene - here's something fun that you can share with your son
http://feministryangosling.tum.....3049992836
(H/T Already Pretty)

Thanks for your extra comments Angie and RunnerChick. And that link is the perfect note on which to end this thread. Love it!!

Oh oh oh! I so have to agree with Angie that uniqueness is not an absolute criterion for stylishness. Stylishness is simply about looking good and not a total schlep. Being an original is a whole other level of endeavour.

Also, clothes... always look like clothes. Top, bottom, shoes... you're never really gonna get away from the base formula.