Second Epiphany from Wear Your Orphan Challenge

Hi everyone. I came to realize that if a garment needs "help" to be worn (i.e., special bra, camisole), then it was never meant to be. I could continue to try and "force" myself to wear it, but I will never be happy with it.

I also realized that if I am keeping a particular garment until I find something better, I have no incentive to actually shop for something better. I am settling.

Caslon black tee shirt. Goodwill.
Black bra bought specifically to wear under the Caslon black tee shirt because the tee shirt was embarrassingly sheer. Goodwill.

Why the bra? It never fit as well as my more expensive bras. It seems I settled on that front as well.

Finally, the brand Caslon. I fell in love with it last year but I came to realize too late that the garments stretch OUT beyond belief. So it fits perfectly when I first put it on, but by the end of the day it is multiple, multiple sizes too big.

So the purpose of our challenge was to find ways to wear our unworn items. If we couldn't find a way to wear them that made us happy, we learned why it failed and how to avoid a similar failure in the future.

I will continue to buy tee shirts. I will only buy tee shirts are opaque. This is nonnegotiable. As much as I love Caslon, I will start looking for other brands that are a bit more fitted and that don't stretch out.

And a word on bras. Victoria Secret bras seem to fit me the best. I don't know why, but those are the bras I reach for when I want absolute comfort and fit. Other brands that are very highly recommended just don't seem to fit me as well. I can "feel" myself wearing them. I don't want to be aware of my bra the entire day long.

8 years ago

shedev

Veteran

Great epiphany sterling. I'm in the same place with the sweater I'm wearing today.

Anonymous

Yay for both of us!!! I am relieved to not have to force the issue.

El Cee

This is huge Sterling. I had a similar epiphany with regard to boatneck tops. (Yes -- who wants to be aware of their bra all day?!) They are already in the donation bag, along with several other culled items. This challenge has been a big eye opener for me.

Meredith

Sounds like you arrived at some meaningful insights. You raise an interesting point about how holding onto something can slow us down or prevent us from replacing it. Oh, and life is too short to wear uncomfortable bras.

Sara L.

I'm glad the challenge worked for you and you were able to take away some valuable insights. Opaque tee shirts are so hard to avoid nowadays.

Beth Ann

Woohoo! Love a good epiphany!

I'm learning to stop reinventing things that are working -- your VS bras seem fall into that category.

I'm also learning that quality is not directly related to brand or retailer. I just wore a great Caslon tunic yesterday (see below) - it launders and wears beautifully. Of course, at the moment I'm wearing a Caslon knit jacket that pilled the moment I pulled off the tags (see below) I find myself pulling out a similar topper from Target that hasn't pilled in 4 years. I've had stretching and pilling with Halogen, too, but my budget simply won't "stretch" to EF or the more high end brands. Fortunately, there are good surprises -- garments that wear like iron and look great. Sometimes these come from Nordies, sometimes, I kid you not, from WalMart.

Oh -- and I also wear a smoothing (not shaping) cami under my knits -- either nude or black. I feel less exposed, because, even when a knit is opaque, it's often quite thin and a little clingy.

Nordstrom

Caslon Three Quarter Sleeve Side Slit Tunic

$49.00

View Info

Top Pick

Caslon Shawl Collar Knit Jacket (Regular & Petite)

$68.00 $24.97

Sale

texstyle

(website)

Nodding in agreement Sterling. Forcing myself to buy items to try and make a piece work usually leads to a failure for me too. I feel like every piece needs to feel right on it's own accord.

Suz

These are great recognitions. You are learning a lot through this challenge.

Brooklyn

I agree. If you need a special bra or cami it becomes special occasion wear. And there is only so much room in the closet for special occasion wear.

Gigi

I don't mind having to wear a special bra with something or a camisole, *if* I know in advance what the combination has to be so that I can just pull the stuff out of my closet and get dressed. It gets to be frustrating for me when I'm trying to get dressed and find that my top is too sheer, so I grab a cami, but the cami bunches up under the shirt, so I take it off and have to find a different one, etc. A person can kill several minutes of time just trying to find a combination of items that works. Tops that are too sheer definitely require more work!

unfrumped

I like these epiphanies!
I have been guilty of the "keep until...."

I do think there is a category (warning: hoarder alert!) for keeping until, but your epiphany is helping me see that category has to be very limited and specific. Something really earth-shattering. Usually the underlying reason circles around, you need the item to wear this other item. But, I can ask myself, can I just do without wearing that (outfit, item) for now? Why or why not? Because if I can't or won't find the new item, maybe I should retire, change direction.

Actually, the best example I can think of is uncomfortable shoes that are in a style that makes an outfit work. So I either need to figure out another style of shoe altogether ('cause we're usually talking, heel too high or toe too pointy) or I should accept that that type of outfit isnt' supported by my feet, and wear only the comfortable -shoe-outfit combos that I like.

Jules

El Cee! I've been wanting to talk (bitch, let's face it) about boatneck tops. I'm sometimes ok with a (black) bra strap showing with some wider necked designs, because it can look intentional. But the sorta-showing way that boatnecks reveal my bra strap is just awkward. I don't even get why boatnecks are a thing! No more for me

Aida

(Boatnecks are great on ITs and those with broad shoulder lines. Unless they are super slashed, on those bodies visible bra straps with boatnecks aren't often an issue.)

Hah!… Jules. Yes, "bitching" would be the word. Sterling and I were "bitching" on that very subject just last week (or maybe it was 2 weeks ago) on her challenge thread. Sterling revealed that she is already on team "Banish All Boatnecks", having purged them from her wardrobe because of the bra strap issue. I just had my own epiphany (thanks to her challenge) and will happily be joining the team. I can never seem to make a bra strap of any color look or feel intentional, and strapless bras are not very comfortable for me. I think boatnecks are a thing because they show the collarbone -- which can be flattering. Just too much trouble for me. I agree, no more!

April

I'm an IT and I thank Aida for her complimentary words about the effect of boatnecks on the IT body type.

I have, however, sworn off anything calling itself a boatneck, or the more sneaky "bateau neck" -- look, retailers, we all know that bateau is French for boat, so just call a spade a spade.

Why? Because a boatneck makes anyone with more of a bust than, say, Audrey Hepburn look completely top-heavy. Seriously, the boatneck is worse than the turtleneck in that regard, perhaps because of the strong horizontal line across the collarbone.

So, nope. Not for this IT.

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