Question for our plus-sized members - YouLookFab Forum

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Question for our plus-sized members

April

Veteran

I feel strongly that people should be spoken to and about using the terms they prefer.

Lately, I have noticed a trend toward using the word "curvy" to describe women who wear a plus size. I find this annoying, as well as inaccurate. If you take a straight-shaped body and add 50 pounds, you don't necessarily end up with a "curvy" body. (Since we have questioned here what "curvy" even means, I will say that I believe it means just what it says: the planes of the body have distinct curves -- as opposed to straight lines -- in one or more of the "female" areas: bust, hip, and/or bottom.)

Not all larger women have pronounced curves, and not all curvy women are larger than average.

Ladies of size -- would you be willing to say what term you prefer in describing your body type? I realize there is no, pardon the pun, "one size fits all" --answer. Some people seem comfortable using "fat" and some prefer something else. My own habit is to listen for what people say about themselves and use the words they use, so I'm asking: what words do you use?

Anyone care to share an opinion? And if you do prefer "curvy", please feel free to say so. Perhaps I am prematurely dismissing "curvy" (when used to mean "large") as a silly term of art.

General

28 replies

Latest reply was from DonnaF

El Cee

Veteran

In describing my own physique, I actually prefer "curvy", "rubenesque" or "full figured" over "plus sized" as it is more accurate. ["Plus sized" only indicates that one is above a certain size. It does not really indicate body type.] I am a very tall, large framed hourglass (a size 16-18) and my curves are evident even with less weight on me. I also do not mind describing myself as "large" as that is a true statement.

JAileen

Veteran

I am not plus sized, but I am "curvy". Even when I was 30 pounds lighter, I was genuinely "curvy". Now I think of it as a synonym for "big boned".

jenanded

Veteran

I think El Cee and I must be twins...I find most plus size clothes do not cater for curves as they are very boxy ....

Author Linda

Veteran

I also prefer "curvy" or "full-figured", though "large" works, as do words like "voluptuous", "plump", and "fluffy". Like El Cee, I am a large-framed hourglass size 16-18 with bountiful curves. Am I currently fat? Yes. Round? Not really. I have that hourglass going, even if it is more well-padded than Sofia Vergara's.

The reason I resist calling myself "fat" is because that word is so negative in our society. It's a word other people use to shame and hurt women. Just read comments on news stories about any woman whose photo reveals she carries a few extra pounds. I may be fat, but if someone calls me that it doesn't sound like a compliment, or even a simple truth. It feels like a put down. I would much rather call myself something that reflects how I feel about myself: older but well-cared for, positive and, yes, attractive. I'm not offended by being called "over-weight", though, because that's more of a neutral term.

Hope some of this makes sense, as I'm still on my first cup of coffee.

April

Veteran

Ah, so it seems we've already hit upon a truth: in general, it takes two words to describe our bodies, one for size and one for shape. Perhaps three, since height seems important as well.

I myself am an odd combination of short, mostly straight (no waist, no curvaceous booty) yet somewhat curvy on top. Ha. That's a mouthful, isn't it.

I wonder if "fat" has different connotations depending on generation. People of my age (50s) tend to hear the word as a pejorative, whereas I hear young women embracing the term "fat girls." Taking back the language, as it were.

Nebraskim

Veteran

I loathe the term curvy as a synonym for plus-sized. I am in the range of fat/overweight (5-7, 160, wear a size 12-14, bottom and 10 on top). I am NOT at all curvy as I'm basically a cylinder-shape. My friends get irked when I call myself fat/overweight but it does accurately describe me, both medically (should weigh closer to 135) and socially. I try to delude myself into thinking it's OK because I do run daily and workout with weights, etc. 3 times a week and am generally in the top quarter of fitness for women my age (60) but I know that weighing less would be better.

The new "it-girl/plus-sized" model Ashley Graham is from my hometown. She is definitely "curvy" with classic hourglass, voluptuousness. Graham wears size 14, but clearly in a different way than I do. And that's great for her.

Jenn

(website)

Veteran

It sounds like a have a similar body type to El Cee (tall, large-boned, 16-18), but am more pear than hourglass. I do like the "curvy" term, not as a euphemism for plus size, but as a cut descriptor. I have a 10" waist/hip differential, so my clothing needs to curve.

As far as terminology for my size? "Large" seems descriptive and nonjudgmental.

Aziraphale

Veteran

Yes, please! I want to know too! I remember having a discussion about this a few years ago. I expressed dismay that 'fat' has become such a loaded word, as it is not inherently bad. The only reason it has become so is that it has been fashionable to be slim for so long. However, at this point there's no way we can say 'fat' without it seeming like a terrible insult, so onwards and upwards. Let's find a better word.

Note: what we're looking for is essentially a euphemism for 'fat', which has become a dirty word. I want to make the point that we should not need a euphemism for this. Being fat should not be something to be embarrassed about. This really, really bothers me. If we didn't discriminate against people -- because that's what this is really about, discrimination -- of a larger-than-average size, we wouldn't need to replace the word 'fat' with something else. It would just be a neutral descriptive adjective, like freckled, or dark, or wavy.

However. It is what it is.

I too shy away from 'curvy', because it's silly. Plus-sized seems OK. Voluptuous? Lush? Full-figured?

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I describe what "curvy" means here:

http://youlookfab.com/2016/01/.....y-figures/

Having been a fashion buyer for many years - and bought for the plus size department too - you need a short word to describe the department at retail. "Full Figured", "Voluptuous", "Rubenesque" are too long. We used: short, regular and plus.

"Regular" is used to describe all body types too. I don't think you can expect the term to describe your body accurately at retail.

And while we're at it, "Petite" isn't accurate either. It's a way of saying "short" and not necessarily small boned. You can be regular height and petite. You can be large boned and short. In fact petite plus sizes are VERY popular! And that's an oxymoron if you think about it.

Aziraphale

Veteran

'Plus' or 'plus-size' works for me. It's short and it doesn't have the baggage.

Angie makes a good point about 'petite' vs 'short' -- I definitely know some tiny women who aren't short, and some sturdy ones who are. It does sort of feel like 'petite' is also a euphemism. It sure sounds a lot cuter than 'short'! (Everything sounds cuter in French).

abc

Veteran

I am "curvy" but yes, it probably IS a cop-out to a degree for not using a stronger word (fat) that in the US has negative connotations.

This is fascinating from a cultural perspective.

Example: I live in Mexico. Here, people are called nicknames related to their physical appearance. It is very common and accepted. People call each other shorty, skinny, fat, blondie, curly haired, etc - without judgement or negative connotations for any of those words. It is what it is.
I would be curious to hear from others around the world on this subject.

Barbara Diane

Veteran

I think this is an interesting discussion and something I had not pondered much. I think there is a difference between what size clothes I wear and how I think of myself. I wear plus size clothes. I can see being described as a plus sized customer. I think of myself as overweight. But I would not want to be called an overweight woman. Or a large woman. Maybe a larger woman. Maybe " a woman of a certain size"?

Definitely not fat. I know that word is being reclaimed by some younger women, but to me it is disparaging to be called fat. It was used to taunt me when I was a child.

I will continue to ponder, and report back if something else occurs to me.

Desmo April

(website)

Veteran

I generally use plus-size or plus, it is the clearest and least pejorative. I have used fat girl or just fat but that is more situational and depends on who I'm talking to. the word fat also gets in to the situation where I can use the word or someone in the same category can use it but from anyone outside of that it gets more offensive. I don't actively use fatshion or fatsionista but it is a convenient search term for things like pintrest, insta or twitter.

I don't use curvy for myself but I don't really mind it. I hate fluffy though.

April

Veteran

I'm with Aziraphale. "Fat" should describe size, not judge it. But I know that the reality for many large women is very different, and it will probably take generations for that to change.

deb

Veteran

I am curious, when did the word fat become pejorative? I know when I was a girl in the 50's and 60's it was. An who really started it?

Lyn D.

Veteran

I don't like the word 'fat' because it is to me used incorrectly just as describing a person as their ailment is.
I am not ' Ceoliac' but just happen to have the disease!
I have a preference for descriptions that refer to body shape rather than the amount of fat we are carrying.

Echo

Veteran

I am not plus-sized, but as far as "taking back the word", I think the same rules apply to fat as apply to any other pejorative. In other words, many black comedians will use the "N word", many gay people will use terms like "fag" or "flaming", and some female comedians will use pejorative terms for women, but it doesn't matter how often anyone else hears the words; it is still unacceptable for someone who doesn't belong to the category to use the term. Since the word fat has been a pejorative term for as long as I've ever known, I would never feel comfortable using it to refer to anyone.

I agree that plus or plus-sized is about as neutral as a person can get, and I will use that unless someone tells me otherwise.

rachylou

Veteran

I wonder what Shakespeare used to approvingly describe someone plus sized...he's the author of English in so many ways...my guesses would be generous and ample...but then this would probably have appeared in the context of objectifying women...

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I'm quite average-sized but can I just say that the euphemism "curvy" annoys me? I am neither fat not skinny, but at any weight I have ever been, from 115-155, my body is most definitely curvy in the true sense of the word. Not a straight line in sight. But "curvy" now seems to mean something else. So what term does an average-sized woman with a curvaceous figure use to describe her body type?

Interesting discussion, all. It definitely highlights the problematic ways our society talks about women and our bodies.

marianna

Veteran

It depends, are we talking about my size or my shape? There's a term in the plus-size blogging community called "inbetweenie" which means in between regular and plus size (i.e. that grey area of size 14-16).

I am an inbetweenie. Most plus size clothes are too big, but sometimes the largest regular size is too small. I am not curvy. I do not have a large bust nor hips. I am on the "fat" spectrum, but I usually describe myself as "larger" or a "bigger person" because I am also tall. I'm the opposite of petite.

abc

Veteran

Speaking of petite (Marianna good to see you post btw) ... Interesting that we have a label for inbetweenies and plus size but what about the other end of the spectrum when someone is sized out of the smallest size but is not necessarily petite? Very interesting.

Jenn

(website)

Veteran

OMG, I had never heard the term "inbetweenie" before, but I just searched it on Pinterest and now have all these images with people my size. Thank you!

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

That's me at times, abc - when there isn't a 00. Sized out of the smallest size in regular but not short (I'm 5ft 6). That's why I always seek a narrow fit.

I'm nodding along with Echo and Desmo, and I've thought about this for 20 years. Plus is the clearest, most neutral, and least pejorative term by far.

I'm new to the word "inbetweenie", but have blogged about the hard to find size quite a bit. Thanks, Marianna.

I think the word "fat" has become a very disparaging and rude word, and I think it's best not to use it to describe others. It's also a very subjective word. Overweight is a more scientific and analytical adjective, and one that the medical professionals use - so good from that point of view. Otherwise large or larger is best.

anne

Veteran

I'm nowhere near Angie's size, but very occasionally I am sized out of certain brands.

I feel like I'm on the cusp of curvy and straight. The opposite of April - pretty straight - but with curvy thighs and bottom. And technically speaking I'm too fat (in terms of body % percentage) while not being overweight.

Nebraskim, while technically you may be overweight (by about 2 pounds, by my calculation, and of course I'm not presuming any medical knowledge of your personal situation that makes 135 what you should be) I don't think most people would think that looks overweight, which is probably why your friends protest. And when I had a similar BMI to you (after pregnancy) I could wear Australian 12-14 (like your 8-10) and that's not usually (ever?) plus size over here.

frannieb

Veteran

Interesting conversation - I am a plus size/non-plus size gal who is curvy.

What does that mean - plus size in pants and pencil skirts
Straight size in dresses and tops

I call myself curvy because no matter what size or weight I am there is a significant difference between my top size and bottom size.

And actually when most people look at me they use the term curvy - You could probably just call me a pear - but that would kinda be odd so I guess curvy sticks.

Now I have a friend who is a petite plus size who prefers to call herself a jumbo shrimp - that is a whole other conversation - She loves it and tells everyone and anyone.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

I think Echo makes an important distinction between taking back a label from within a group and others using it. I prefer short to petite, but if I had some reason to refer to people by size I guess I would use larger size or smaller size. Higher and lower numbers? Average is sort of misleading since I believe the average American woman is wearing a higher number than "average size" sizes these days.

April

Veteran

Thank you to everyone who chimed in on this thread. It's led me to do some interesting thinking about language and how it changes.

It does seem that the safest thing is to listen closely, use the term used by the person to whom the term refers, and if it's the kind of word where you're not sure whether it might be offensive to do so -- "fat" is, at present, definitely such a word -- then ask.

When I was growing up, calling someone "gay" was only done as an accusation. Now it's the accepted, correct, descriptive term. We may or may not reach the same place with "fat" but unless and until we do, I'll stick with something neutral yet accurate, such as plus-sized.

I will not say "curvy" unless someone is actually curvaceous or unless a plus-sized person tells me that's what they prefer.

DonnaF

Veteran

I know a few women in the Fat Acceptance Movement, so they are reclaiming the word as well as fighting fat shaming. I also know younger folks (teens and 20-somethings) who self-identify as *queer* vs. gay or lesbian and those who are gender fluid so transgender doesn't really fit. It is also good to ask about preferred pronouns, but the current trend of using *they* to refer to a person in the singular drives me NUTS!