Purchasing Decision Points - YouLookFab Forum

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Purchasing Decision Points

Anonymous

A long time ago, I learned that if I was in a store and I found a garment that I was having a difficult time deciding on whether to buy or not, BUY IT. There were too many times in life that I arrived home and had to make a return trip only to discover my size had sold out.

On the flip side, if I am evaluating online purchases and am having a difficult time deciding on whether to keep or not, RETURN IT. If I do not love it and want to wear it immediately out of the package, there is something not quite right about it. I may not consciously know what that something is, but it is there nonetheless.

These two very simple rules seem impulsive, but they must have a foundation based on some internal and very accurate calculation. They have served me well through time. The key for me is to listen to those immediate impulses.

Shopping

28 replies

Latest reply was from Barbara Diane

delurked

Veteran

In your case, you can probably analyze yourself out of purchases. But that call from what you passed on in stores was the emotional voice that liked the garment. Plus, you don’t consider the taking home of a garment the final decision. It’s buying you time to make a decision. It might not work for everyone, and it can involve double the work if you ultimately return, but it alleviates the what if’s.

I try hard to return the online don’t want to wear right aways. They rarely grow better with time.

Cardiff girl

Veteran

I m totally with you on this.I find that if I m trying too hard to make a garment work or having to ask other people what they think it’s usually because there is something not quite right which is often difficult to articulate or put one s finger on .On the flip side if I put something on and it looks like I ve always owned it I know that that’s a good sign,but it’s still hard to listen to that inner voice sometimes isn’t it?l know that I would make less shopping mistakes if I did.

Toban

Veteran

I agree with you on the online orders. In person shopping I usually err on the side of leave it unless utterly confident, with an exception for something that I am trying to work with a specific item that I don’t have with me. In that case I will bring home to test. This exception occurs more for shoes than for clothing items.

Anonymous

Wow- that is so interesting and very astute of you. I admire you for recognizing that.
Sometimes I wish I had a mechanism to protect me from myself, especially when great looking sale items might be a little off in fit or fabric.

3style

Veteran

Sterling, I’m wondering whether having the input of a SA in the store makes things better or worse. Last week I went to Ann Taylor and decided to let the SA be more useful in nudging me out of my comfort zone. I’m realizing that neither of the suggested items physically fit me, and I would have noticed if I had picked them out myself. One is the wrong size and the other is just the wrong cut. Grumpy. Makes me want to only order online. This conflating of “new to me” style with incorrect fit when getting assistance has happened to me everywhere I’ve been helped: except WHBM, who unfortunately, have stopped carrying curvy fit pants in the store.

ChrisM

Veteran

You’ve articulated what I do too... I also find that there are some B&M’s that use “skinny mirrors”, and with new shapes I really need to get home and work with them before I commit.

Almost 90% of my successful shopping is online nowadays. The availability of my size (14 tall) and frustration with in-store experiences keep me out of B&M.

One more online strategy: I let an item sit in my shopping bag for at least an hour before I buy. A step away from my dreamy imaginations and the computer keyboard keeps the returns under control.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

This makes good sense. I am pretty similar about online purchases. If I don't really love the item, I try to return it -- unless I'm deliberately trying to move myself out of a style rut. In that case, the item may eventually turn out to be a "no" but the success is in making the experiment, not in whether the experiment succeeds.

I think some people would tend to overbuy if they followed your "if in doubt in the store, bring it home" rule. It depends on whether our general habit is to deny ourselves or indulge ourselves. I usually leave items I don't feel pretty confident about in store. I might go home and order online afterwards, though.

Staysfit

Veteran

I understand your logic and think your insights about yourself are marvelous. I typically follow the “when in doubt don’t” formula when I shop. Sometimes there is an item that I can envision fulfilling a future role, and even though it is not exact for the moment, which produces doubt, I keep. More often than not, these decisions pay off.

Shopping with friends or letting a SA give their opinion is a big mistake for me. I typically ignore items they have picked out for me or said they loved. My husband, or my daughter however seem to have a different effect. If they like something, I am likely to wear it, even if doesn’t fit my typical sense of style.

Style Fan

Veteran

Interesting logic. I can agonize about something for a long time. I do find some B & M use skinny mirrors which really annoy me. I have started to take pics with my phone to double check (not from the mirror). There is one store I shop at a lot and I do trust the SAs for advice. Unfortunately, I now live 3 hours from there.
My husband gives very good advice. He has an excellent eye for colour and silhouette. He can walk into a store and point to something that will work for me. Unfortunately, he hates shopping. Hates it.

Anonymous

3Style - You pose a very interesting question. I rarely take the advice of sales assistants. Something in me doesn't trust them. I don't know if retail stores still work on commission, but the times a sales assistant has helped me, I felt pushed and bullied. The experience is unpleasant and that unpleasantness transfers to the garment.

Anonymous

Tell me about these "skinny mirrors." How does one spot one?

Suz

(website)

Veteran

You look so much taller and slimmer!

3style

Veteran

One of the reasons why I like wearing gear is that at quality stores like LL Bean or REI that have basically an unconditional satisfaction guarantee. In practice this seems to translate into the sales people being helpful in locating different items, but not at all pushy. The Nordstrom locations in and around Chicago are like this too, but I have found the staff much more pushy in Metro Boston.

3style

Veteran

Now that I’m thinking about this more carefully, I’m realizing that the few times I’ve been to BR in recent times if I say that I’m looking for a black woolen pullover in medium, they will find all of the ones that they have, plus size large for the ones that run small and size small for those that run large. Most places don’t seem to know their inventory well enough for that nowadays. Unfortunately, I’m kind of ambivalent about their product quality in recent years.

Chris987

Veteran

I totally agree Sterling. I refer to your second rule as "trying too hard to like something". It can take several days even a few weeks to get to this but it works for me.

I also share with Staysfit the issue of bringing home things I later don't want when shopping with certain friends. My mom at 89 doesn't have the energy very often for mall shopping any longer but in the past just having her with me on a shopping trip caused me to make brilliant choices even it they were not things she recommended. Funny how that works!

3style

Veteran

This thread got me thinking about behavioral economics and a concept known as “the endowment effect.” The following link summarizes this field of inquiry quite succinctly, although there are a few typos.

http://bigthink.com/insights-o.....valuations

What I have been thinking about is that while I don’t care one way or another about sales pressure, I’m extremely prone to the identity-reinforcing aspect of the endowment effect. If I try something on my body and I generally like how it looks and feels on me, it takes me a few days to process whether the object is as good as all that. I’ve sworn off day-of-purchase tag cutting. For me, typically the problem is not sales goggles, because I won’t try anything on that I don’t think is a reasonably priced item. It’s more like I’m so amazed when something even comes close to fit and flatter that it takes some time for the haze to clear before I can tell if the details are just right. And sometimes it goes the other direction, I’ll try something on that I’ve ordered online and not think that it is for me. Subsequently, I’ll mull it over subconsciously and wake up realizing that the item needs a different support act, or serves a different purpose than I had originally envisioned.

Anonymous

Interesting read, 3Style. Extremely interesting observations about your behaviors too.

Now I will be thinking about this subject into the evening. I'll let you know if anything of merit occurs to me.

cindysmith

Veteran

This makes very good sense.

Anonymous

3STYLE- what an interesting article. Made me remember Barry Schwartz’s book “ the Paradox of Choice “ great book on our behavior..... highly recommend it but I will spare you folks the review- lol

Anonymous

Interesting observations, Sterling. I have think most carefully when buying final sale, thrift, consignment or when shopping on vacation as things will be less likely to be returnable at all.

Anonymous

Joy -- I never, ever buy final sale. Ever. I never buy wardrobe items on vacation unless I find I need something because I failed to pack it.

I do shop thrift and consignment stores, but my attitude is very different. I rarely go in with an item in mind. I go in more as a huntress. That attitude allows me to take chances. Making mistakes is part of the calculation and I made peace with that a long time ago.

Nice to see you. I hope you and your family are well.

Theodora

Really interesting article! I am going to have to mull this over, as I have had a run of bad decisions this year, both from online, and B &M purchases, and I don’t know exactly why. This has led me to distrust myself, and revert to wearing black or blue T with black jeans/shorts, just avoiding the issue of styling.

I have to say though, that the two times I had success, in
that I subsequently wore the items and loved the way they looked and felt, were when my husband was with me, and he chose things I would not have even seen! Opposite effect when either daughter is with me...

Anonymous

Thank you for weighing in, Theodora. I hope something in this thread helps you going forward. Best wishes.

JAileen

Veteran

I am unmoved by a SA’s opinions. Maybe I’m cynical, but I always think of a person’s motivation.

As for buying things, I buy lots of things, obviously, but I also return lots. REI had a big sale recently and I needed socks, but I took a chance on some tops with birds on them, and nothing worked except the socks.

3style

Veteran

Theodora, there are so many possibilities for how the forum members might be helpful to you in troubleshooting your style. I have about ten different speculations in my head for what is really going on. For one thing, it might be just that you prefer a simple palette and silhouette but feel like you should be pushing yourself to explore: in other words, you might not actually have a problem. Perhaps you can use some encouragement to feel more comfortable with your current minimalist choices.

Anonymous

Theodora -- I felt what 3Style wrote above was amazing.

Obviously, we have brilliance on the Forum.

Do you think she might be right though? Are you just more comfortable with simple palettes and silhouettes??? I know I am. When the Forum does a 30 x 30 challenge (wears 30 items over the course of 30 days), I frequently find I wear the SAME exact outfit on repeat until it needs to be laundered. I really am comfortable with that. I like a minimalist approach to wardrobe/style/life.

Others on the Forum would be bored silly by my approach. They are bolder and like variety and experimentation. I always say I am about two years behind the YLF curve because it takes that long for my eye to adjust. The exception has been wide legged cropped/ankle pants. For some reason, I saw and loved them the moment they appeared on the fashion scene.

What 3Style and I are trying to say is not to feel bad about "a run of bad decisions." Reach out and use the Forum as a resource. Use it to suit your own needs and your own desires. Best wishes.

3style

Veteran

One of my favorite sayings is that in fashion, “two wrongs often do make a right.” What I mean by this is that sometimes two less than ideal garments will compensate for each other’s weaknesses. But of course the inverse is also true in that two good things can make each other look worse when combined. And then we all come into the world of fashion with so much emotional and cultural baggage, which complicates things further.

I’d happily wear head to toe green all the time, but one of my DH’s few opinions about how I dress is that I steer clear of leprechaun, zookeeper, or lumberjack In deference to his opinion, I curb my green enthusiasm to wear more conventional quantities of green.

Barbara Diane

Veteran

Sometimes the items I hesitate over in store become high wear high joy items. Sometimes they aren’t exciting but are useful. And sometimes they are mistakes. These days I consider my online shopping the equivalent of pulling clothes into a dressing room. Most items are returns. I’d have liked to try them in store but that’s often not an option. I’m happy when an item works. But I still sometimes cut the tags and then regret it.