What field do you work in , Sterling?

... And where in the world do you live?

Again: Please consider to put more info into your profile.

Gentle reminder to The Cat. Filling out the profile section on this forum is voluntary. Some members choose to share personal info on the profile, and others do not. Just as some members use their actual names/pseudonyms and do/do not post photos of themselves.
ETA Note to Sterling - sorry about hijacking your thread!

Sterling your post made me realise that for work trips I prefer to travel with too much rather than too little, so that I have versatility in what I chose to wear (rather than taking only pre-organised outfits). Personally I don't mind standing out a bit, feeling more fashion forward would not bother me, but being in casual dress when everyone else was in business attire would. We all have our comfort levels and fitting in is important, especially in work related situations.

I work in a formal office that has "casual dress Fridays" - the only thing is, it is not weekend casual, but business casual. So this essentially requires different styling to my formal work clothing and my weekend wear. The clothes that I wear on casual dress Fridays are what I wear for corporate training events and conferences.

Oh Sterling - I'll bet you looked fashionable and perfectly chic in your outfits at the conference. And you were probably much more comfortable in the Atlanta heat. I think of Atlanta as a big banking city so I imagine people dressed in stuffy hot suits when they would be much more comfortable dressing in light weight cottons and linens.

Your experience in Atlanta reminds me so much of my experience on this blog! The clothes I wear and love look absolutely nothing like what I see people wearing here, and the things I see people wearing here are things I would never wear. Why? Because I live in southern California, and this blog skews Frozen North. Even leaving out the waterproof boots and puffer jackets (I had to look that one up), the aesthetic is just different.

Which is something I learned during the years I traveled for business--there is no universal style. The women in Atlanta may indeed be sophisticated and cosmopolitan, but that doesn't mean they dress like the sophisticated and cosmopolitan women of...anywhere else, and certainly not the frozen north. The light is different, the air is different, the history is different.

When I traveled and had time and money on my hands, I used to try to shop for clothes. It never worked! The local style in Chicago, San Francisco, New York is still...local. That stuff just wouldn't work back home. Even the South, with a similar climate, had a completely different aesthetic.

So how to dress to fit in when you travel? Research. Peruse a local department store online. I did this before a trip to Paris recently, planning to do some shopping while I was there. I learned a lot about French style, enough to know better than to try to shop there for my life. So did I at least fit in when I went there? No, I wore my colorful SoCal best and stood out like a sore thumb, but the point is I learned enough that I could have fit in if I wanted to. Like, say, if it had been a business trip.

*bursts out laughing at " frozen north " *

LauraG - I agree with you re local dressing. Even here with a total population of 4.5 million people dress differently from city to city and there is an Auckland look, a Wellington look, a Christchurch look, not to mention the climate and practical considerations.

It is one of the things I LOVE about YLF - seeing people dress in different ways. I could wear jeans (one pair) and a polo to work every day and no one would care or comment or probably notice. Same to rugby practice and the gym and to most of my social events. I love seeing Skylurkers elegant French clothes and Smittie's cosy gorgeous Canadian coats etc....

There was an idea further up the thread about a conference/travel capsule and I think this a great idea.

Sorry to thread highjack here Sterling.

Oh, feeling out place is just the worst. When I was in my early twenties I worked for a nonprofit and at our fundraising event an elderly woman flat out told me I was dressed completely inappropriately (in a pencil skirt and v-neck top?). I don't think I have ever felt such disdain.

Anyway, I love the idea of a conference capsule as a little project for you here. I'd like to follow that thread.

Regarding cropped pants. I'm pretty confident this description is accurate: Anything shorter than full-length is "cropped." The most "current" cropped length is 2-4 inches above angle (per Angie) and that length is appropriate for business casual environments. Anything shorter still flies but will come across as more casual.

Just so you know, I received lots of HUGS from the women at work today. Not one single man hugged me. But my supervisor did seemed really glad to see me enter the door today. So that counts for something, right?

And lesson learned: capri pants are too casual for conferences. Who knew?

Sterling - I am so very sorry you spent such an uncomfortable week. There is nothing worse than feeling inappropriately dressed, because it doesn't allow you to experience anything else. If it makes you feel one whit better,know that this has happened to everyone at some dome time. You have a lot of excellent advice. I can only share what works for me. I'm a very formal person. I always overdress. A great blazer elevates any outfit. If you find it's casual, off comes blazer. Seperates, neutral palate, (ok it's black for me, always black). Pants to create a suit-like, simple tops, great bag, goid grooming. Tops that can skew dressy or casual, same w at least 2 or shoes same. A very small mix and max capsule which can take you anywhere. Add in 1 more casual pants, trendy jeans and I would think you are covered. Hugs to you. We've all been there!! It sucks but you did great!!

I am glad you can put that behind you, it was probably not as bad as you thought.

A California friend was surprised to find out that the norm at her college in the South was to wear dresses to the football games no matter how cold the weather!
I, too, have made similar mistakes. You've gotten lots of good advise. I'd encourage you to inquire about clothing before events.

*Frozen North* I am on the floor laughing. We wear puffers and snow boots in the winter and bug shirts in the summer. If you come to Muskoka for a conference Sterling that is all you need to know. It would be difficult to always dress like the locals. One part of the city is different from another and different professions have different dress codes (maybe unspoken).

I noticed when I went to Hamilton (Ontario) to work this past spring that the women dressed very differently in different parts of the city. In the "cool" part of the city I felt right at home (not that I am cool) in my Jesse Kamm pants and fitted blazer. No one else had on anything else like that but being different was respected. Young edgy women came up to me in the coffee shop and complimented me on my outfit. In the more conservative parts of the city I got strange looks.
I dress now to please myself.

I can SO relate. I do think what you are getting feedback on is all these new pant length issues which we never had to worry about when ALL pants were truly full- length. Plus, words aren't enough now to describe pant styles. Seeing is understanding. Plus, " summer" means less indoors.
I recently was in Boston for a work conference and packed with some trepidation! I took a full- length straight trouser, a slim ankle pant, and a " cropped" pant that was not super cropped ( see Find if I can find it). I think it is nearly an ankle pant. Plus 2 blazers and cardigan. And several footwear styles.
Thankfully all worked but the point was, I planned to " scout and respond". So, same feelings as you. I also learned a bit more about my own style with this capsule.

I live in Atlanta, my first thought, reading this, was "Ah I wish I had known, I could have told her that most of Atlanta doesn't wear trendy items".

Then I realized... you really have to understand Atlanta, to know what to expect, or to wear if you want to blend in.

Atlanta doesn't have a cohesive metropolitan city vibe, like New York, or LA, or Miami - Atlanta is a very specific and sharply defined group of geographical communities and social tribes. Our clothing reflects this.

In Atlanta, your clothing broadcasts your location or your tribe. You can look at someone and pretty much know where they're coming from: Midtown, Decatur, OTP (although these are a ton of suburbs that all have their own styles as well), Buckhead, Downtown, Little Five, South Side, Tech kids, Georgia State kids, etc. Or the dress indicates your tribe: the film industry community, the theatre/dance community, the hip-hop industry, the drag community, the fetish community, the Latin dance community, the jazz community, the artists, and the young, starving artists, the African-American cultural community. There are a lot more tribes - these are the ones I hang with. A lot of these groups overlap.

There are practical considerations as well. Atlanta is consistently 87+ degrees fahrenheit indoors, and 65-68F, constantly-running AC indoors. I dress for outdoor temps, and I bring my knit zip-up Wolford jacket with me, everywhere I go. Cold shoulders or cropped pants, aren't practical here, except for brief windows in the fall and spring, when outdoors and indoors are consistently temperate and more evenly matched.

So...getting specific for your visit...you are coming from this very stylish community that is kind of its own tribe: the YLF demographic seems to be mainly 30-50s, somewhat conservatively-dressing, mostly-Caucasian North American women. So something like flares, are really only going to be seen in limited groups: Buckhead ladies-who-lunch, maybe John's Creek, and the African-American cultural ladies. If you're among these women, you're gonna blend.

But why the need to blend so thoroughly? Atlanta is all about diversity and creativity, pride and ownership of who you are. You should strut around in your stylish clothes like you own the city. If there's one thing Atlanta appreciates, it is personal style.

This thread is so interesting. I think there are two issues here:
1. Confidence in your individual style choices and
2. Wanting to look great but not stand out too much.
Sigh...it is a balance.
I have made peace with this much like kkards suggested. I have a uniform for conferences.
Dark full length trousers, print blouse, cardigan and closed toe comfortable shoes (never sneakers or sandals).
I pack a coordinating blazer just in case it looks like I need to look more formal.
Conservative jewelry, fab handbag.
That's it.
I do bring a fun outfit or two if I think I can get away from the conference compound for a few hours to sightsee.

One other thought... the BF lives near the District Court, and AmericasMart, so the local business-attire people I see are for legal, and the visiting business conventions are usually retail, and IT. Everyone appears to dress for their industry, albeit, a little "sharper" than I suspect they would dress for a regular day at the office. Less about "trendy", and more about "winning the case", or "making the sale", or "getting the contract".

I grew up in lily white suburbia with my mom constantly admonishing me, "Remember, Donna, you don't blend in like those mousey brown haired girls so don't do anything to embarrass us." I never had the privilege of blending in until I visited Hawaii. How amazing. Of course California is more diverse now and I live in one of the most diverse cities in the U.S. Psychological comfort is overrated.

I've been pondering this topic and all of the comments for a while, and I tend to agree with StyleFan and LBD that dressing and style within North America these days is more about tribe than location. Which I guess isn't that surprising, since there are so few local stores left and most everyone has access to the same retailers. Climate and form of commute definitely have an impact, but there is a lot more room for personal choice than there used to be.

And of course the proportion of various tribes will be different in different places. There are a lot fewer "creatives" in my white-collar-business-oriented city than many places and yet those lifestyles and ways of dressing are certainly part of the mix here, too. And some faith communities and recent immigrant groups have distinctive forms of dress as well.

In fact, as I was reading LBD's post I thought that I bet you'd see a lot of commonality in the way people dress in Buckhead and Brentwood - and lo and behold, guess where Ann and Sid Mashburn (Atlanta-based retailers) have just opened a store? (Well, actually it's in Santa Monica, but the alliteration just wasn't as good!) http://www.annmashburn.com

Getting back to the original topic, conference dressing is always it's own animal since the "tribe" is typically people who work in the same profession and come from all over the region or country, or in some cases, world. And I guess based on the comments here that at least some subset is trying to dress in as innocuous a way as possible. That presents its own unique challenges - especially to members of the YLF tribe!

Fascinating comments. I want to especially give a shout out to LBD for her very thoughtful posts. The truth of the matter is that even if I had reached out to the Forum for advice, I don't know that I would have asked there right questions. I very likely still would have packed incorrectly.

The key I think is to feel comfortable in my own skin. Work-related events throw me off balance. I reach for my wardrobe as amour and in this case (and Washington DC) it wasn't there for me and that threw me still further off balance.

I am hesitant to admit I still have one last scheduled conference in 2017. This one is in North Carolina and within not-terrible driving distance. Long days, but I can come home each evening. So I can adjust my wardrobe as necessary. Same tribe. Different faces.

Oh Sterling, I'm sorry you experienced this, esp with all the work you've been doing on your wardrobe. One observation... sometimes by trying not to stand out, you try to hard to fit in, and therefore stand out because you don't look or feel comfortable. While obviously a dress code sometimes needs to be observed, within that if you dress for yourself, I think you'll be fine, because you'll look confident. And stylish.

LBD... what great observations about Atlanta. Fascinating.

Sorry that you had this wardrobe malfunction. It has happened to me too--I remember wearing a blazer and jeans to my brother's before-the-wedding supper and everybody else was wearing fancy dresses. Very embarrassing. It happens to us all

Wow - what an interesting thread this has become! I really enjoyed reading LBD's comments - and one seemingly innocuous one hit me like a ton of bricks: the extreme temp differences between indoors and outdoors except for brief periods during fall and winter. It is exactly that way here in the Canadian Prairies - where our summer outdoor temps are the same as Atlanta's. And you can imagine the winter temp differences. Anyways, that was an interesting thing to think about for dressing, as was the "tribe" concept. I chuckle when I hit our big national giftware fair in Toronto and see thousands of middle-aged women all dressed vaguely alike. Sometimes I want to cry - other times I laugh.

Laura G, you have to pick your battles. You're from where you're from. Looking down on local fashion when you travel or on the way things are done in your destination is insulting, but I see nothing wrong with proclaiming who you are in a way that does not denigrate or harm your hosts. A while back, US white tennis shoes and athliesure wear came across as rude in Europe. That's probably not so much the case anymore (at least not the footwear), but I still would advise visitors to Germany always cross with the light.

I finally got to this thread. Apologies for the delay.

It's a shame you were dissatisfied with your travel capsule and I'm sorry your efforts were not rewarded. Frankly, I don't think you got it wrong. Who said that the others got it right? *smiling*

I really enjoyed what Ryce, Style Fan and Meredith wrote. Thanks to LBD for her local Atlanta perspective. Very interesting.

Sterling, FWIW, here's my 2 cents:

You learned something about yourself (or perhaps you knew this already?). You're very affected by your environmental norm. My suggestion is - try to be less affected. And I'm suggesting this with encouraging affection and not criticism.

Be more confident about your style. You like your style. Enjoy it! Be proud of it! Relax into it. To Gaylene's point - ESPECIALLY when you travel. I've been traveling all my life, and I never look like the locals - not even in the Netherlands despite being Dutch. (I don't dress the way most Seattleites dress either). But I blend in because I am confident about my outfits. I forget what I'm wearing and get on with it. I'm not trying to dress in any other way than how I am used to dressing at home. I'm global - and my style reflects that no matter how I slice and dice it. I'm not affected by how others dress if I'm appropriately dressed for the setting by my own standards - THAT is key, and should be all the assurance you need.

Remember that those around you aren't as concerned with how you dress as you think they are. Don't overthink it. Don't compare and despair. Set your own stylish standard and blend in YOUR way.

Fashiontern! Did I give the impression that I looked down on Atlanta's fashion? I certainly did not mean to do that. I take full responsibility for my packing errors. I would make exactly the same mistakes regardless of what city i visited. It is a special talent I have. I will be traveling to parts of North Carolina in September. I LIVE in North Carolina and I still assume i will somehow get it wrong. The only difference is that I willl be able to drive home and readjust my wardrobe.

Angie -- you are exactly right. I do know it. Perhaps I will do better next time.

I am using an iPad. I have no idea how to bold.

Sterling, you said this,

"The key I think is to feel comfortable in my own skin. "

I think this is the quote of the year. It's really is what all of this comes down to - and isn't it hard sometimes?

What's that other saying? "Dress to please yourself"

I like this Nicole Richie quote. I should print it and put it in my wallet before I go shopping. Maybe wrap it around my credit cards.

"You can see it right away when a person is dressing outside of who she is".

Sterling, my comment was related to the turn the conversation the conversation had taken, to be about style and travel more broadly.

As an American living abroad, I often felt the assumption was that Americans feel superior in pretty much everything, and I fought against it constantly. My feeling on international travel is that I always represent my country, and need to be mindful of that. That point was a qualifier to my bigger point, that you should be yourself, be proud of who you are, not worry that you are not from wherever you're visiting and therefore don't need to look like you are.

But turning back to your question, you did say that you packed what you did because you thought Atlanta was cosmopolitan, fashionable, and a bunch of other positive things.

To do bold print, use HTML tags. Before the thing you want in bold, type a pair of pointy brackets with a b between them. After it, repeat that, but add a / before the b. Same thing with u for underline, I for italics.

Sterling, Have you read the book Women in Clothes? It's a bit of a strange read...a collection of essays and observations...deliberately nonlinear...full of so many insights and significantly different points of view about how/why we choose our clothes. I found it to be quite fascinating. I bet you'd connect with a constellation of observations that might help you understand what contributed to your packing "snafu".