I had ridiculous anxiety and panic attacks last year. I know how you feel. Hugs. I hope you feel better soon.

And beyond hoping, here is a website that helped me. It was created by students but I hope it might be helpful to you as well: http://studentsagainstdepression.com/. It's filled with a lot of useful depression and anxiety coping strategies.

Take care.

Dearest Sona, my heart goes out to you. I am praying for you.

I'm so sorry you have to deal with this Sona! I battle anxiety and panic attacks as well and I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

One thing that works for me is some basic mindfulness mediation. When I feel anxiety starting to come on or get worse, I try to envision the problem as a book or a sheet of paper. Then, I envision myself either closing the book or crumpling the paper. When I started, I had to do it sometimes 10-15 times before I felt any relief, but now it seems to help after 2-3 times. I also try to control my breathing by breathing in 2 to 4 counts and exhaling twice as long.

I hope you can find relief in something!

I'm so sorry to hear that you're struggling with this. You've had some good advice from the other posters, and I have nothing concrete to suggest. I hope you can get your meds sorted out soon. In the meantime please be gentle with yourself. Things WILL get better for you.

Sona, sending you some positive thoughts.

I'm thinking of you, Sona! It's difficult when you can't trust your feelings to tell you what's what and when they put ideas in your head too. When I was in my 20s I used to sit hours on the porch journalling. All crap, but it's when I learned to really become aware I was tired and my fuse was short and to stop thinking about what was going on around me and take a thinking time out and settle my nerves.

Ok that was a lot of "ands." But I believe in the mental time out.

Thank you for reaching out. Keep reminding yourself that you are in our collective arms. I hope your meds get sorted out soon and that this isn't a case of the insurance company requiring your MD to cycle you through the more inexpensive drugs first even if he/she knows they won't be effective for you and/or give you unacceptable side effects.

I'm sorry you are going through such a hard patch. My knowledge on depression is pretty poor but I wish you the best and hope you can recover some of your strength and start putting yourself back together.

Sona, the NYT is doing an ongoing series on anxiety:

http://opinionator.blogs.nytim.....y/anxiety/

Thanks Ik for the link.

All of you have give me such great advice: the thing is- journaling, breathing, mindfulness, prayer, exercise: they all work for my depression.

This being scared to get out of my house, interact with people is so new, foreign, frightening.
Today was a tad better- bebe went to camp. I dropped he roff and did a 2 minute grocery run. I rested in the afternoon when it got really bad and took one Xanax and read a funny book.

I was able to pick her up without mishap. Hubs comes back late tomorrow night.

I work all day tomorrow and am hoping I don't turn into a basket case. the worst is it brings on nausea and vomiting and even though my nurse commiserates and rubs my back for me we both know I cannot suddenly go home sick at 2pm leaving patients waiting to see me.

My psychiatrist is truly the brightest bulb on the planet and her niche is womens depression that starts in the peri partum stage. She also does her own counseling: something only a handful of psychiatrists around the country do. She tells me to BELIEVE her that she is COVINCED this is a side effect from a recent dose change in my antidepressant medication. Tomorrow will be day #2 of the lower dose. Praying for peace and no mayhem at work.

Sona so pleased to hear it was a tad better. For migraine nausea I recently started using Herbal Gravol and it works quite well with no drowsy side effects. I have huge issues with nausea and cannot really take other items. I am wondering if it might help for you as well?
http://gravol.ca/en/resources/about-ginger/

Glad to hear that things are a bit better today. I'm also enjoying IronKurtin's link to the series at the NYTimes - very helpful.

Your counselor sounds really good - just hang in there, and here's hoping that dialing back the dosage helps a whole lot.

May tomorrow just fly by uneventfully - you'll feel so much better once this gets resolved. Not very long until your DH is back home

Sending you love and support as you go through this difficult time, Sona. I really hope that the meds are sorted out soon, and that you find some peace.

In the meantime, know that you are perfect just as you are. And loved. Maybe someday you can use this painful experience to help others.

I hope your workday goes well tomorrow. I will be thinking about you.

Glad that you're feeling a little better today, Sona, but please remember to look after yourself first - it's really easy for docs to get sucked into that "but my patients need me" mentality and keep on pushing ourselves beyond our limits. That being said, it's very commendable for you to take such good care of your patients (Mixed messages much? Sorry).

I am glad to know that your psychiatrist does her own councilling - and I find it weird that not a lot of them do their own (in the US?) because a lot of them here do; they usually "Pick their Poison" though - not a lot do CBT, but some do psychotherapy, or psychodynamics - some of them do DBT, and most of them have had mindfulness training. But enough shop talk.

Feel better soon! *hugs*

You have had so much great advice already. I will only remind you there is one more person here holding you in her thoughts and a virtual hug whenever you need it. You're so strong, Sona. And I am sure the day's end will prove me right. Just remember: long breaths but not necessarily deep.

Wishing you better luck and health asap.

Glad today is better. I'm willing to believe your psychiatrist about this being a side effect. My neighbor suffers from migraine-induced vertigo. She took one medication and pretty much became paranoid. Started talking a mile a minute and having thoughts so out of the ordinary, she herself noticed. Like, she was talking to her mother and started thinking, "This woman is out to get me." Not my mom, but "this woman." Or she'd panic while walking her dog about someone farther along up the street ("what if they're gonna jump me, can't be too careful") or conversely she'd panic if the street was empty ("why's it so quiet?"). For awhile she stopped going on dog walks with us because she didn't want to be out.

We're back to walking our dogs together now, practicing mindfulness and calm. And I guess that's exercise in there to boot. These things can help for panic as well as depression; the difference is in knowing what symptoms to look for - that's my theory. The last time we saw someone "odd", she looped on it for three days, but she did come out for the walks.

I also get panic attacks when my blood sugar dips. I have to really wait, eat a little something and wait, as opposed to scarfing everything down for the next 30 minutes. Difficult to ride that out. Can't say I'm that good at it.

I'm glad to hear you are feeling a little better, Sona, and that your psychiatrist is ON IT and very supportive. I will be thinking of you (holding thumbs that everything is going smoothly at work) and continue to send lots of positive vibes your way. Everyone at YLF is here to support you, beautiful lady!!

I am sure it could be med side effects. Ironically, Citalopram Rx'ed to me for anxiety caused even more. Dropped it like a hot potato and feel much better since. I did get a dizzy spell at work last night and thought, oh no, here comes an episode. Took my metoprolol and sat down for a sec. Mainly, I mentally talked myself down. I had a full dining room and tables waiting. No time for an episode. Of course, that's when they're more likley to happen right?
Hang in there. If they can fix the meds, that's step one. Next step is finding a way to calm yourself internally. At least, this is my own experience. I hope it might help you. It's not easy. I know.

Sona, I'd had a huge response typed out and lost it, and was so frustrated I couldn't rewrite it. Anyway, I am glad things are better and I just want to remind you to be careful of all side effects (which I know you know). My best friend got dystonia from a medication for anxiety. Please feel free to PM me any time you need a cyber-hug, though I know I'm not around much lately. You are loved and needed!

Sona, I've been following this thread hoping to see a positive update. I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better, but I try to steer away from just saying anything when I'm not sure what the right words are. I am glad there is a positive turn of events. Please know that my heart sinks when I read of the turmoils and I do send love and my heartfelt wishes that the rough patch will end soon. You are so wonderful and so special to us all, I am happy we have this place to share things and hold your hand at least virtually.

Take care <3

Sona, I'm late to this thread replying but I have followed it. I'm glad things are a tiny bit better. I hope the lower dose works for you and you get some respite from the horrible feelings you are having. Sending you a hug and hoping for the best possible outcome.

yesterday at work was ok- still had some anxiety, meds helped. I did not sleep well last night...headed to work in a few. Hoping that sleep deprivation does not set me back. Thank you my YLF family.

Just keep hanging in there - and sorry to hear about the not-so-great sleep last night. Popping in here to suggest that if you're a coffee or tea drinker, and you're tired/lacking sleep - I recommend tea instead of coffee. Tea always gives a nice lift without the jitters of coffee. Don't get me wrong, I love coffee, just that at a time like this (dealing with anxiety) - tea is much better

Virtual hugs, Sona!!!! Hang in there!!

I have no advice but just letting you know I'm sending hugs, thoughts, and prayers your way