Ophelia, that’s brilliant phrasing. I’ll try it, but expect it will still be hard for him to deal with my little corner. He knows that I used to enjoy dating, but the idea of his mom having any sexuality (of course “sexuality” doesn’t have to mean any of this stuff—for most of my life it hasn’t) now is threatening to him. He’s happy to play along that this is just an undershirt, or that I wear body stockings only for warmth, but when it’s grouped with everything else, he’ll probably have to deal with reality, and that will be hard. It’s all good though, as long as he doesn’t try to follow through on his threat to defenestrate any guy I bring home, then carry him to the river & throw him in.
I don’t see myself going for makeup beyond a natural look, or for more (but I know to never say never). One thing I will say never to is a guy who doesn’t care about my son’s feelings. That doesn’t mean giving up; it does mean accepting that it’s hard for him and allowing him that struggle.