Oooooh Tam-(((( I am so sorry to hear this. I've been there too yes, and recognize everything you are saying. I hate the fact that you and Tanya have to go through this too now, and I wish I could just fly to Australia now (and bring all the other sweet YLF lasses as well) and be there for you in person.
Please be very kind to yourself right now, don't force anything. There is no right or wrong way of dealing with this, only your way. Don't rush anything, you were together for 11 years, you don't get over that in a few weeks.
And take your time with digesting everything we have written here too. There's lots of good advice and support and more where that came from, whenever you're ready.
And I agree with Medusa, having gone out for a bit is a HUGE thing right now. Big hug!!
And you're right, don't think too far ahead, take it hour by hour or minute by minute if need be. It's all good.
And please cry as much as you want/need. I know you are sick of that by now, but it does help;-)
Hang in there Tam, and visit YLF anytime you want.
HUG!
Inge
xxx