Oooooh Tam-(((( I am so sorry to hear this. I've been there too yes, and recognize everything you are saying. I hate the fact that you and Tanya have to go through this too now, and I wish I could just fly to Australia now (and bring all the other sweet YLF lasses as well) and be there for you in person.

Please be very kind to yourself right now, don't force anything. There is no right or wrong way of dealing with this, only your way. Don't rush anything, you were together for 11 years, you don't get over that in a few weeks.
And take your time with digesting everything we have written here too. There's lots of good advice and support and more where that came from, whenever you're ready.

And I agree with Medusa, having gone out for a bit is a HUGE thing right now. Big hug!!
And you're right, don't think too far ahead, take it hour by hour or minute by minute if need be. It's all good.
And please cry as much as you want/need. I know you are sick of that by now, but it does help;-)

Hang in there Tam, and visit YLF anytime you want.

HUG!

Inge
xxx

Oh Tam, Tam, Tam. What in the hell is wrong with some men. Doesn't he see what a catch you are, and you are way too good for most men anyway???? I know, I am the cynical one in the group. Your beauty, your brains? How could he? Gimme a fryin pan!!!
Same goes for you Tanya, but I have already told you as much.
Rute, you've got it. I love your attitude. You are one of the lucky ones, but I'm sure it took time to get to the point of knowing it was his loss. I also have suffered the heartache and it just takes time, and the more you loved, the more time it takes. I am so sorry for both of you very valuable women at this time of heartache. I do believe there will be a time when you know you have actually bloomed because of what this b*****d did to you.
Don't get me started! HaHa!

Tam, FWIW, I would gladly take your former bf's place if a) I were a man, or b) both of us were gay.

If I were you, I would find that very comforting! :p

Tam,

I am sorry to hear of your break-up. Having been through a very similar situation, I understand exactly what you are going through. Keep busy, surround yourself with friends and family and furry friends (especailly those!), and remember that time will heal you and that the Goddess gives us nothing that we are not able to handle - everything in life is a lesson though you may not see it now, this may be the blessing that you need to further yourself.

Love,
Kathleen

So much great advice from the ladies above, I'm not sure I can really add anything. I'm so sorry you have to go through this, big hug from me.

Tam - huge hug from me. I haven't read everyone's comments but can empathize. Been there. It was heartbreaking. A few things to think about:

- Invest in your girlfriends and build a support system if you don't have one already
- Find a hobby (bike riding? yoga?) and spend time after work doing that to distract yourself and to find your own interests
- Go to a movie/out to eat by yourself and rediscover the joy of your own company
- Get some form of exercise everyday - literally to work him out of your system
- Journal
- Sometimes this can feel like going cold turkey from an addiction because of the hormones/chemicals that fire when we're in an intimate relationship with someone. It's not uncommon to obsess about them, try to track their whereabouts, want to call them just to hear their voice on voice mail, read and re-read emails or say details of their betrayal, etc. etc. Whenever this happens (if this happens to you), make note that you are thinking of him. Allow yourself a minute to dwell on him. Then make yourself stop and DO something else.
- Have a couple of folks who you can call anytime you feel like calling him. I am happy to be one of those people if you'd like. Just send me a private message and I'll send you my number.

More hugs and hang in there. In the long run, hopefully you'll be better off.