I am so sorry Marley. Kiki was beautiful and looked happy in the photos.
What a wonderful thing that you do. It takes so much courage taking care of these very special beings as they move on to the next world. You are a special lady and KiKi was lucky to have you by his side. How can you not get attached ? Not only are you living with them but you are sharing in one of the most intimate moments of their lives. May Kiki rest in peace knowing that he was loved right through the end and beyond.
( One of the biggest regrets I will have til the day I die, is that our cat died alone at the hospital...though the vet and the assistant told me that they were with her, I think that they were just trying to make me and my mom feel better. I had come home for a couple of hours of sleep when they called me back telling me she wouldn't make it.)