No holiday spirit! - YouLookFab Forum

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No holiday spirit!

deb

Veteran

I just do not have the holiday spirit this year. Or, at least not yet. I did not want to go anywhere for Thanksgiving, so we stayed home and the hubster cooked game hens. It was wonderful. Usually by now I have all the holiday decorations up and am so excited for the holiday get togethers. I was just sitting at the dining room table drinking my tea and thinking about the decorating. It almost feels like a chore this year. Is anyone else feeling this way?

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14 replies

Latest reply was from Janet

Raisin

Veteran

We're in the spirit now, we put up the tree this weekend, and my 5 yr old was so excited, it was hard not to join in. One thing that helped me this year was I got all my Christmas shopping done early (yes, bought and wrapped!) so I feel like I have more time to enjoy things now.

Also....put on some Christmas music! Then break out the decorations and it'll happen! lol, at least it did for us!

fern

Veteran

My husband's family has a tradition of very low-key holidays, so he doesn't have any expectations. It's just the two of us at home, so I decorate exactly as much as I want. Some years that's been nothing, some years more decorations & cookies for everyone. I find it very freeing - if I suddenly get in the holiday spirit, even in late December, I can do holiday stuff then.

Laurinda

Veteran

It is way too early for me, I get bored with it all when it starts too early. I like the idea of decorating the tree on Xmas eve, and enjoying the holiday/music/treats from Dec 24 until Jan 1 ONLY.

Except for the lights -- I do like seeing lights up outside during our darkest weeks.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Deb, I understand. I'm in a little bit of a holiday funk too. Not sure why, although I talked for a long time with my sister the other day, and we're both feeling the loss of our mom very acutely this year for some reason (it's been 4 years since we lost her, 21 since dad). Our mom passed just a couple weeks before Thanksgiving, and dad passed one week before Christmas, so holidays are a mixed bag of emotions for me pretty much every year.

We originally planned to get a tree today, but hubs got busy with another project and I went for a run, so we'll do it later this week. The thought of dragging out all the decorations and doing all that work makes me feel tired, not energized, which is sad. Part of it is because we're leaving for a big family vacation the day after Christmas, so a dried-out tree and decorations will be waiting for me to take care of when we get home.

I'm thinking I'll do a fairly minimal amount of decorating this year, and maybe we'll even keep the tree on the small side. I have been putting up and decorating my mom's smaller artificial tree in our TV room each year since she's been gone, but maybe I'll pass on that too, so I only have one tree to dismantle after vacation!

Oh my, this must sound like I have a bad attitude! Sorry to be grinchy. But you have company. Here's hoping we find our holiday spirit! There can be a lot of pressure this time of year.

MsMary

Veteran

I know how you feel, Deb. I decided some years ago that I was going to treat every part of the holidays as optional, and I decide every year that I'm going to do what I want to do and not a bit more. Some years I put up the tree, some years I don't. Some years I go big on the gifts, some years I don't. The one thing I do always try to do is have a "cookie day" with my son, although this year we won't be able to do that since he is stationed halfway around the world! However we will have a nice visit the week before Christmas so I am happy with that!

Honestly, I'm not even thinking about the holidays because we are leaving for our big "trip of a lifetime" to Asia in just over a week. We won't be back until December 23 so we will miss almost the whole season! We do have a performance of "A Christmas Carol" planned this coming week, and we will take my parents to see "Anything Goes" the Saturday after Christmas, and that, I think, will be that.

missvee

Veteran

I too decided years ago to do what feels right each year rather than getting caught up in what I "should" do. Some years we get a big tree and pull out all the stops, other years I decorate a small Norfolk pine with some simple ornaments. I've already decided that this year's tree is the latter! The most important thing for me is to spend time with people I like - casual suppers and movies are our favourites, and to leave lots of time for simple pleasures. We're hosting Christmas dinner this year, but it's partly potluck to keep things easy for the cook :). Try not to be too hard on yourself - the best tradition of all is to be happy in whatever you do.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

Yes, holidays are always different for me. I am either not living at home, or living at home but working on holidays. So it's rarely the traditional stay in with loved ones scenario. I do like the feeling of twinkling lights and snow falling, but I get about as far as stringing tiny white lights on my Charlie Brown ficus tree lol. For real!

MNsara

Veteran

Okay - I have acknowledged I'm a Grinch about Christmas, so if you want to be talked into the holiday spirit, read no further. . .

I LOVE the idea of Christmas in September or October, but come the actual dark, cold, dreary winter days and relentless push for consumerism in November and December, and I struggle big time.

I think Christmas is way too much work and most of it is unecessary. I have a theory that if MEN were in charge of Christmas, our traditions would be drastically different. Like 24-hour shopping in the two days before Christmas. Traditional meals and cookie baking would be replaced by traditions of pizza delivery and televised football games. You get the picture.

Anyway, that leads me to the same conclusion as others above ^^ that I do as I feel or I don't do if I don't feel. I don't need to apply any guilt or pressure, just accept that each year is unique and I'm free to respond as moods, energy, time and funds permit.

Hope you can cut yourself that same slack and enjoy it in a less traditional way this year. . . !?

Diana

Veteran

I know exactly how you feel. I feel this way every year. My family is not big on holidays, but my fiance's family takes them Very Seriously. Last year I was so exhausted by the solid week of holiday events every evening the week before Christmas. I am secretly relieved that the only reasonable plane ticket to see my parents in CA is on Dec. 24th so I will have an excuse to miss at least some of the holiday madness with the fiance's family.

Mander

(website)

Veteran

I vary in my enthusiasm. It depends on whether or not anyone is coming over, really -- last year my in-laws came to our house, so I put up my grandmother's vintage aluminum tree (very space age!) and assorted other decorations. This year we are on our own, so I will probably just get out a couple of things like the star for the front window, a tiny artificial tree my Mom mailed to me the first year I was in the UK, and the handmade stockings that are a major tradition in my family.

DH has suggested going out for sushi on Christmas Eve, and just staying in to eat pizza and watch movies on the big day! We are going to the in-laws' for a few days at New Years, though, so we will have a big holiday event with them.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Just thought I'd chime back in. Definitely no increase in my holiday spirit. In fact, today I went to test out a new camera lens by taking it to my favorite garden center to shoot pics of the plants and holiday decorations, but I teared up uncontrollably at the Christmas music and the little old ladies walking around who reminded me of all the times my mom and I did our holiday shopping together.

And apparently I'm not alone. My husband's spirit is so underwhelming that he and I are backing out at the last minute on our plans to go to the neighborhood holiday party tonight. I felt bad, but my husband was actually the one suggested we not go after all. He's flying out early tomorrow morning to see his grandmother in the hospital -- she has had a heart attack and is not doing well. That news has definitely hit me in a tender spot (having lost both parents to heart attacks, and at this time of year), so I encouraged him to go see her and be there for his mom and uncles. And all of this on the heels of everything we've been going through with my stepson.

Sigh. We decided that we won't go get a big real tree this year -- we'll put up my mom's little artificial tree and keep it simple. So that at least takes the decorating pressure off.

I'm so ready for that vacation. Sorry to be a downer. I guess I just needed to vent a bit. Whenever I feel this way, I take comfort in knowing I will feel better tomorrow.

Raisin

Veteran

Oh Janet, sorry to hear all that! It must be really tough this time of year, I hope your DH's grandmother is doing well. It seems like Christmas time can be a really great time of year or really depressing....and I'm sorry it's bad for you this year. Are you going on vacation soon or just wishing? Here's to tomorrow!

deb

Veteran

Janet, I am so sorry to hear about your husband's grandmother. I wish there was a 'hug' appreciation button. You have had a very rough couple of months. Please take care of yourself, both physically and mentally.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Aw, thanks Deb and RR! I'm feeling better this morning -- good thing because we have open studio day today so I need to be "on" for visitors! I think this was just a cumulative effect of a lot of stress lately. And just missing my mom, plain and simple.

Good thing is, my stepson is doing well (he's in a residential recovery program at a wonderful facility in another state), and even though we're concerned about how he'll proceed with his life after he gets out, he has a good attitude now and is dedicated to recovery, and we're all taking it one day at a time. He will get to come with us and the rest of the family to Hawaii, so that's really good!

My husband is on a plane now to be with his family. His mom is an incredible woman (raised him and his brother alone after losing her husband in a car wreck caused by a drunk driver), but she puts on a good stoic front when things are rough and doesn't let on when she needs someone. I had to point that out to my husband for him to realize that he should go be with her. It was a little weird when I realized that his mom has not yet gone through what I went through losing my mother. Whenever someone is not sure whether to visit someone in the hospital or "wait and see" I always tell them go. Visit. You never know what will happen. It's hard to do, but it's harder to live with regrets if things turn badly and you don't get the chance.

Sorry to hijack! I appreciate your kind words and virtual hugs. I need to focus more on my work, so today will be good for me. I have not been feeling terribly inspired, but I know as well as anyone that inspiration follows the work effort.