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New-ish, and totally overwhelmed

MrsLeichliter

Hi! I've been a lurker for years, but I don't think I've posted but once or twice. I have lost some weight and gotten to a point where I have just "had it" with my wardrobe...and I thought maybe you all could offer advice or point me in the right direction.

I'm 31, a SAHM of three and hoping for a fourth soon (which almost seems to make caring about my wardrobe a ridiculous idea). My husband is a professional, and so sometimes we have work functions that are business casual.

My wardrobe is all over the place--so I would like to revamp it and yet keep it quite affordable (between a possible pregnancy and being in the process of losing weight I don't want to invest a ton). I know I love tunics and leggings. I love maxis. I don't like bulk or much layering.

Where do I start? I feel like my likes and dislikes have morphed so much over the last ten years, that I don't even know what to do next!

General

16 replies

Latest reply was from Alassë

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Welcome!!

You might look to some of our moms-to-be -- or to Angie's Mom-on-the-Go looks for inspiration.

Do you wear jeans? If so, an update/ upgrade of those might be your second step --- AFTER hair and specs and underthings. Which I am sure you wear!

Mona

Veteran

Welcome to YLF! You should start with what you love. Tunics, leggings and maxis. How many do you have and do you want to follow a colour scheme in your outfits?
Also, sometimes it is better to purge first and then start buying.

Anonymous

As a SAHM, you might make some great fitting jeans your priority...at least one pair for now. A great pair of black Ponte pants that can be dressed up or down would be another first choice. Some fluid tops and tunics could take you through early pregnancy if needed. Buy what works for your climate and life and don't forget to start with a bra fitting, current hairstyle and specs as Angie advises. Those take care of what people see and notice every day.

Caro in Oz

Veteran

Welcome. Agreeing with the others The only thing I would add is to find looks on others that you love. Then work out what it is you love about the look & what would need to change for your lifestyle & body.

Sal

Veteran

Welcome!

I also love Maxi dresses:)

I would look at doing one of the following:

1) Look at pieces that you have now that you like wearing, and adding a couple of options of things to wear with them. ie you have a tunic you love, add some new ponte pants to wear underneath.
2) Creating a small new capsule of a look you love. ie one pair relaxed joggers, two tees and one jacket/cardigan.
3) Upgrading shoes...this can make a huge difference!

MrsLeichliter

Thank you ladies! I do wear jeans-- I have one pair of dark trouser jeans that are a little large and a pair of bright blue Lands End chinos. I also have black and gray ponte trouser pants. My underthings are pretty good, and I just got a new haircut two weeks ago. (That was fun!)
I love the idea of a small capsule wardrobe to start, Kiwigal!
Mona, I have a few maxi skirts but no cold-weather maxi dresses. I have two pairs of leggings and two tunics-- one is a bit large though.
Any ideas on good legging brands? I was thinking maybe a ponte pair? And some tunics...I'd like a couple if knit ones, but I'm not finding ones that I like yet.
I will look at some of the "Mom on the go" ideas too. Thank you!!

Sveta

(website)

Veteran

I got NYDJ ponte pants last year and they are pretty good. Look at these or these or these.
I also lost some weight and dealing with too big wardrobe right now. For me bottoms are the most important to update because oversized tops somehow fit the current trend much better than the oversized bottoms

thimblelina

(website)

Veteran

Just start where you are. You've gotten great advice above. Even one outfit that expresses your style goals is a victory. Build on each little success!

MrsLeichliter

I will into those, Sveta...thank you! I love ponte. Just out of curiosity, is there another ponte legging that is good?
Thimblelina, I guess the style goal, is part of my problem. I don't even feel like I know what my style is! I love comfy, and I like the idea of a "uniform" and a smallish wardrobe. I need a personal shopper!

Liz

Veteran

One way to start moving toward a style goal is to put words to what you don't want. You say your wardrobe is "all over the place" now. If you can put words to what, exactly is bothering you, then you'll know better what to work on fixing (all over the place, as in "lots of styles jumbled together -- boho, grunge, gear, classic, preppy"? Or all over the place as in "random basics that don't come together in outfits"?)

Also, make a list of what you don't want to look like --sometimes that is easier than listing what you do want.

Alassë

Veteran

Liz has some great advice regarding style goals. I just wanted to say welcome to the forum!

Meredith

Veteran

Calvin Klein makes pants similar to Sveta's first length. I can usually find them at places like TJ Maxx for under $25. I bet the material is thinner, but I've owned two pairs and the hold up well/don't stretch out. I can relate a lot to your post. Actually, apart from the weight loss and kiddos I could have written this post. I'll try to weigh in a bit more later!

N-Marie

Veteran

If you haven't already checked out Angie's MOTG features, you should- they are a great round-up of practical styles for moms of little ones.

I agree with finding a current jeans/pant style that works for you is a great starting point- boyfriend jeans are very in right now and are also very MOTG-friendly. Legging or skinny jean + tunic combos are also pretty friendly for MOTG and maternity, and can transition well into fall and winter with tall boots.
I try to pick a few "silhouettes" that I like, and build a few options for that look. That way dressing is just grab and go once I have an idea of the "silhouette" I want that day. For variety, I like to look to Angie's ensembles and picks, since my picks are often kind of boring!

So for examples of silhouettes in my rotation:

skinny jeans + longer sweater/poncho + tall boots
boyfriend jean + semi-fitted top + converse or heeled bootie
trousers + semi-tucked or welted fluid top + heeled bootie

For each "silhouette", I have maybe 2 bottoms and 3-6 tops, which are mostly mix-and-match with each other.

I will admit that I went pretty cheap for maternity wear for each of my pregnancies since I knew that I would want to do a full wardrobe update after I was back to my pre-baby shape. I bought a few maternity dresses that could be worn to social outings or my husband's work events. Everything else I bought from Old Navy or Target.

MrsLeichliter

Thank you all! I am doing a lot of thinking and reading. I am struggling to get out of the "I must have a uniform" mindset, because I still have this idea that everything must work together--like all my shirts must work with all my pants. How can you have a capsule wardrobe, and still incorporate different styles of tops or bottoms? Or have shirts that will go with both jeans and a skirt?

MrsLeichliter

I don't know is that makes sense? I am only able to use my phone to access the site and reply to posts right now, so I feel like my writing is choppy.

Alassë

Veteran

No, that makes sense. One way to get around the dilemma is to have longer-length tops (pants length), and then tuck them into skirts for a change.