I love boho, too, but can only get away with touches of it here and there. I can't do the complete boho look. It's great reading your thoughts!

So as far as what you're aiming for in terms of not wanting people to assume they know everything about you, the key to that for me is TENSION. I feel like that's an inherent and instinctive part of what I'm drawn to and how I dress and act.

So to break it down, start with what people assume about you regardless of how you dress. For me, it's petite Asian woman = feminine, docile, passive, quiet, traditional, maybe not an English speaker

Now, I want people to think (if they care to think anything): assertive, confident, articulate, strong, fierce

Enter STYLE! UWP, RATE, boots, hair, glasses, anything I can do to say "Don't think you know everything about me" or alternatively, "Here's what I want you to know about me."

Not sure if that's an approach you want to take, but I feel that tension between my physical presence and my style choices makes life more interesting.

You know, people who dismiss you with one look, aren't necessarily people you want in your life anyway. The more interesting people will take the time to get to know you for who you are. Having said that, I think what Una (alaskagirl) has to say is worth thinking about too.

Kerlyn: Yes, I’d love some moto boots, and leather bracelets (whether wrap or cuff) are definitely on the list. That’s interesting about the brown vs. black for you. I’m not sure which I’d wear more (if I only had one, I’d wear them, though!), although since I already have taupe, I’m still leaning toward black. And leather cord for pendants is also on my list, yes!

BettyCrocker: Thanks!

Una: I’m a fan of juxtaposition anyway, it’s just more interesting. And I think that’s basically what you’re saying by tension? So, yes! Which is why black, and leather, and metal (that edge I’m talking about) — all those conflict with what they’d assume. Probably high tension color combinations do that to some extent too (like in my Seasons interpretation of the blue sky with trees).

Definitely, MuseumGal. But I do like juxtaposition, just for the fun of it, too.

This is a great thing to have all hashed out and written down.

FWIW based on the outfits you've posted, to me I get: festival-boho, rugged, earthy, textural, a little girly but not overly sweet, casual. Not all of those jive with what you've listed as ideal though, possibly because I've mainly seen summery outfits.

I don't see the Docs as particularly "edgy" for you, they seem to already fit with your footwear aesthetic. I think a change in hair would be a great way to add in one of those desired elements that perhaps you like but find tricky to wear.

Looking forward to seeing your action items get put into action

I think you have a great starting point for adding new purchases....I think those tertiary colours such as teal, wine etc do suit you so well - more than colours that are too sharp or too muted.

I think accessories are the way to make a bit of a statement to work along with a practical closet. When my children were smaller I found this the best way to go, and fortunately at the time there was a good range.I could definitely see you in clompy boots - how about cherry red Doc Martins? Paired with jeans and a funky bag, and a colourful shirt.

I attached a few pieces I could see you in, they are NZ retailers so I don't mean these exact pieces but just some ideas

Aida: That’s very helpful, thanks! Textural, casual, absolutely. Rugged: OK, sure (not intended, but probably somewhat goes along with my “practical” vein?). What does earthy mean to you? When I say I’m not earthy, I mean mostly colors. I guess when I said I don’t want to be girly, I mean: no peter pan collars, ruffles, bows … I’m also curious what other kinds of boho you’d separate out, if you’re saying I’m festival-boho (in contrast to what?).

I certainly don’t think my summer wardrobe, in particular, is very close to ideal, very much of the time.

I don’t think of Docs as edgy for me (They don’t take me out of my comfort zone, if that’s what edgy means.); I like them, though, and they’re tough. Which I don’t have much of wardrobe-wise, and which I do want to convey, at least to a certain extent. What would you think would be better for footwear, then, if not Docs?

I’ll ponder the hair thing; is it possible to have long hair that’s edgy?

Sally: Thank you! I hadn’t considered red Docs; I don’t really wear red (although the cherry red is more of a burgundy, maybe?) And yes, I really like that cocoon-style cardigan!

Earthy as in.. a connection to the earth -- the natural fabrics you choose, the muted shades (textural and practical do probably both play a little into that as well), and the boho feel. The types of "boho" elements you describe sound to me more along the hippie/festival side versus say the more glamorous/eclectic/richly dark bohemian side. My hunch is the rugged is coming from the more masculine vibe of your footwear, the clothing itself doesn't feel that way so much. And I think the Docs would be a great option for you, they certainly would add an element of toughness and grunge.

Would definitely be curious to see how your style differs in fall/winter, since you've said that feels closer to what you're after.

You can ponder edgy long hair, and I'll join you in pondering how to unsweeten curly hair Certainly possible but my hunch is it will require spending time on it. Long hair always seems to take a while, short hair you can muss up or spike up quickly and easily.

What a great post! So thoughtful.

In my notes to myself, I've conceptualized "edge" as playing with juxtapositioning/unexpected combos and looking for toppers/shoes/glasses that can bring that in. Hair is another option, of course. I'm still working on these elements myself.

As for the Docs, I started to go on that path a couple of years ago, a throwback to my younger self. I found that they didn't work well for me anymore. I've been gravitating towards Fryes. I don't think brand matters as much as whether they are comfy and help you project what you want!

Aida: OK, so by earthy you're kind of meaning the same thing I meant when I said natural. I'd like to have some of the more old-school, traditional bohemian, at least at some point, but yeah, I don't think that comes through. But again, that may be because I've been gazing on pictures of summer looks? Maybe that's completely off, but I'd like to think I like both, at least to a certain extent. I've always had artistic eclectic in there, even though I'll never be in Approprio's league.

Sounds like a plan, re: hair! I'm kind of anti anything that takes too long (there we are back at the earthy/natural again — or is it just lazy/practical in this case?)

Ah yes natural fits that just as well. Those two overlap for me a good bit. I think it's quite easy to skew hippie side for warm weather and eclectic/romantic for cooler weather; the fabrications and styles just lend themselves that way.

I wonder if you could do something that had a really jagged end which you could just add some pomade or something for choppy texture, but leave the rest more "natural". I put a lot of effort into my hair, even though the end result is just... curly and very messy. But it does it just so

It is always a pleasure to read a description by someone with defined taste and perception. The pictures from Free People were a bit more dramatic than the description would have me imagine - great aspirational images.

Tania: Juxtaposition is fun to play with! And I agree, brand isn't the point. I've never worn Docs but I hope to go try some on soon; the first step, you know? And I definitely won't be sacrificing comfort in footwear. I love looking at Fryes! I don't think my first pair will be quite that pricy, though.

Very interesting read, and I think you have done a great job of articulating your desires for a style direction. I like the green Docs, but I'm thinking Fryes could be a little tougher looking, actually. And more grown-up, less young and fun, if that makes sense. I also picture this Frye bag for you.

P.S. On your boot thread, you were debating combat, moto, engineer, and harness boots. Here's a harness style that has a low, closer-fitting shaft, so it would be easy to wear under your jeans.

The being visible (and/or not being seen as too nice) totally catches my attention. Also, the words *haute hippie* are coming to mind, the brand with and without standing. I love all your pics in this thread (and I have the same issue with edgy hairstyles not looking that edgy on me... I out edge my hair, haha). The glasses in particular I think are awesome. My question is... What will you do with all the attention?

Thank you, Shevia! I feel like I've known how I want to look/dress for a long time, but putting it into words, and then actually getting there are very different things. And yes, I think I do like drama.

Firecracker: Thank you! I love Fryes (to look at; that’s the closest I’ve allowed myself to come so far, because budget), and that bag is pretty great too (although I’m pretty staunchly in the cross-body bag camp at the moment). That does make sense. I need this next pair of boots (whatever brand, whatever style) to have a lug sole, something with decent traction.

rachylou: Thanks! It was actually your new glasses that led me to this brand and my new frames, so thank you for that, too! And as to what I’ll do with the attention? I guess we’ll see!