My sleeveless top strategy

unfrumped

Sadly, my upper arms will no longer evoke Linda Hamilton slinging a shotgun. (Sigh) I have definite smooshage, to quote ironkurtin, and a bit of wingage if I flap around a lot. However, I've not reached the point where I think the world needs to be protected from the sight of them. (Though the public might differ--so be it.) So, not my best feature, but not totally off-limits. But don't you find that about 99% of tops and dresses are sleeveless ? And certainly always the item you're drawn to in the store.

To deal with this, I've been trying make myself follow a strategic and hard-line approach to shopping for and incorporating sleeveless items in my wardrobe (excluding knit tanks and cami's mostly worn to layer under tops with too-low necklines) so that I can make use of a few items but don't end up with lots of things I tend not to wear. Even though I live in a 4-season climate with hot summers, I run cold and wear sleeves and layers when others are dripping. So sleeveless is not so much about comfort for me but is more a struggle with arm-aging realism vs. allowing a few in my wardrobe because it makes certain outfits easier to create.

My "rules" are:

1) Keep up with exercise program, especially triceps ex's!
2) Sleeveless can't be beat for extreme hot temp situations-- picnic, barbecue in mid-July of 105 degrees! So I have one or 2 for that and while I can overlap with knit tanks as above, I do like waist-surrender type for breeziness. Have to be cotton for this purpose, and look good with the typical bottoms for those occasions--shorts, usually, for me--so trying on the final outfit is key to its being a keeper.
3) Perfect suit-jacket shells--I have to admit that sleeveless layers so beautifully under a jacket, even though I usually wear a sleeve. I have a few occasions where I know I will be keeping the jacket on for the whole time and would like to take advantage of this sleeker look. So I when I found a top in a print and style that looks great with several of my more "corporate" jackets, I bought it. But I don't want to overdo in this category.
4) Unexpectedly useful fabric, texture, or fit that upgrades the look independently of the topper--it's hard to add texture to outfits other than in the jacket, and at work I wear a lab coat, so a random top and bottom can tend to look mish-mash. Banana Republic had these back-zipper, princess-seamed sleeveless tops in a chevron-texture fabric that to my eye looked more like a stand-alone tailored garment than a typical sleeveless top, so I got black and taupe and have gotten a lot of use from them.
5) Intentional layering--meaning just plan always to wear a cardi. Usually the criteria would be a great print or color that is flattering and goes with lots of things. And one guideline is I want to be more intentional about multiseasonal use, such as a print I found that goes with pink and stone and cream in the summer and with burgundy and rust in the fall. Again, self-control area is to have a couple of such items, but not too many.
6) Trial runs of details like a bow or ruffle or even a new color, to experiment with a new fashion direction-- easy to find in low price-points.

All of these tops have to pass muster in terms of neckline, armholes and such so that if I do take off jacket or cardi or lab coat, I'll look okay, and be the right length and cut for the intended outfit. Plus, the categories can overlap and some can be dressed up or down. I'm trying to do one-in/one-out in this category so I have just the amount for these types of uses.

In theory, all my wardrobe purchases should be this intentional and strategic, but for short/3/4 sleeve tops I'm much more lax, 'cause then I'm not thinking much about smooshage/wingage. But this one exercise has made it easier to think about wardrobe curating with all other clothing types.

13 years ago

Shopping

11 replies

Latest reply was from lyn67

shiny

Veteran

I used to be really paranoid about my arms, thought they were too fat, and also my shoulders. I would never wear sleeveless. Ever. Even though I was in my 20s and 30s. Even when I was lifting heavy weights 5x's a week, and there wasn't any squish or swing, just muscle.

Then I found YLF and Angie slowly convinced me, and my eye convinced me (looking at other people's photos and my own) that a sleeveless really does make for a more flattering line. On EVERYONE. Regardless of your age. Even if you have a strong shoulder line and IT shape. And no matter how much fat, flab, swing, smoosh you think you have. I realized that nobody really looks at your arms. They don't. I look at my own because I obsess and think they are fat (especially when I stopped weight training and muscle turned to squish). But other people do not -- in fact, sleeveless makes the eye go to the top of the shoulder, and then to your face, not to your arms. Whereas cap sleeves do the opposite, create a line and draw attention right where your arm is widest.

Of course I am not counting elbow length sleeves or full length sleeves here. We are talking about when it is hot enough you want to go sleeveless. Sleeveless is also practical in that your blouse lasts a lot longer because you aren't ruining the armpits with sweat.

I am 47 now. My arms aren't ever getting any younger, or thinner. I notice I now have wrinkles in the skin of my armpit. But I am still wearing sleeveless and not giving them up. The wrinkles that have appeared were a bit disheartening, but then only a few weeks ago, a friend (15 years younger than me) said offhandedly to me, "You're so lucky you have thin arms." I'm like... what???" We just don't see ourselves on the whole... we focus on what we think are imperfections, but nobody and I mean nobody is noticing them.

So please flap your arm skin around proudly and don't give up on sleeveless.

13 years ago

pil

Veteran

You have put a lot of thought into a process that works for you. Despite the same smooshage/wingage situation, I've been wearing more sleeveless tops than in years past and no one has run away screaming - yet. Have not yet layered with sleeveless in fall/winter though.

Shiny, are you some kind of life coach in real life? : )

13 years ago

Janet

(website)

Veteran

My upper arms are not my slimmest body part, but I find sleeveless to be way more flattering than most short sleeve lengths. Anything that cuts a solid horizontal line across my arm, especially at mid-upper arm, looks immediately matronly and makes me feel "big."

In Baltimore summers, with our humidity and heat, I rely heavily on sleeveless looks to get me through the hot months.

13 years ago

Veteran

My main concern now is my armpits. I'm not sure I want to inflict them upon the world. The less-than-perfect arms don't really faze me that much.

I am wondering if I should give up sleeveless altogether, to tell the truth. I should probably discuss this with my daughter. She would be prepared to be brutally honest. I don't think I would purge any of my current items, just not get any new ones.

13 years ago

(website)

Veteran

I have to admit to not giving armpits a second thought . . . until I home waxed mine a couple weeks ago. First of all - OUCH. Secondly, I spent way too much time actually looking at them lol. Yes, it's sad to see the lack of skin tautness after 40. But who the heck is looking up into our armpits everyday?!?! No one, that's who! Hooray for sleeveless in the heat!

13 years ago

unfrumped

Veteran

You guys are hilarious. And have given me even more confidence! 'cause that clock isn't going to run backwards.

I like the track I'm on in the sense that I just can't go without a sleeve or a wrap indoors, ever, and not outside for 9 months of the year, I so don't need lots of sleeveless items, but I feel ready to pounce when I see one that really works.

shiny, you are so right about the sleeve line making a difference. Cap sleeves and puff sleeves look dreadful on me but I have always loved elbow length, even pre-smooshage. That's sort of the point with sleeveless, too--not all sleeveless tops are cut the same, and so it's the whole package that makes a difference in why one top works or not, and so I am learning you just have to try things on and keep that in mind, not just, I don't wear this or that.

13 years ago

rachylou

Veteran

I DO find that everything is sleeveless in the shops, and it drives me nuts! I run very cold, plus now I'm starting to have trouble with the sun and must keep covered up.

Ok. Back to the regular programming ;>

13 years ago

shiny

Veteran

When I get down about the wrinkles developing under my arms (well it's not the armpit, I think you gals know what I mean -- it's when you have your arms at your sides, there are these wrinkles... it's fine if you raise your arms up or out to the sides or put your hands on your hip but let's be realistic here, okay?)... this sentence is running on.... all I have to do is perform the elbow pinch test. And the time it takes my elbow skin to rebound (long enough to go to the kitchen and pour a glass of water, and drink it down), is enough to make me forget about the wrinkles under my arms.

But, I'm going to inflict away. Why? Because aging is perfectly normal. We don't and shouldn't need to hide.

And think about it: think about those older than you. Your mother, your grandmother, your mentor. When did you ever cringe at the site of her armpit wrinkles or elbow skin? The answer, I bet, is "never."

13 years ago

shiny

Veteran

Unfrumped, I can't wear just any sleeveless. Because I'm petite. If a sleeveless top is not petite, the armholes will be too low and the whole fit looks off, neckline too low too, etc. But that is different than not wanting to show your arms.

I also adore elbow-length and find it the most flattering of all. My strategy is to focus almost exclusively on sleeveless blouses, and elbow-length cardigans. Most summers in Boston I do wind up layering summer-weight, elbow-length cardigan over my tops, at least part of the day (inside in AC, outside at night) . But this past summer, it was too hot... and maybe I'm also running hotter too. I always have a cardi in my bag but my cardis have gotten very little use this summer. The reality is that if I had tops with sleeves, they'd all have yellow armpit stains by now. I have been that hot lately. I do not know how anyone who lives in a warmer climate manages.

13 years ago

Veteran

Shiny, you are making me smile. If it were just skin, there would be no issue, really. But the sagging skin is making it increasingly difficult to shave properly... But I live in a city with muggy summers, so I am quite reluctant to give up on sleeveless altogether. Still trying to figure this out. In the meanwhile, I am still wearing tank tops.

I do cringe when I see older women uncovering too much skin in an obvious effort to be sexy, and just drawing attention to the fact that they aren't. A seventy-year-old woman in plunging cleavage... I was at a wedding last year where there was way too much of that kind of thing going on. Those women could have dressed charmingly, even youthfully, but instead they dressed in a way that evoked pity. I do not for a moment believe that every woman past a certain age should dress in an old-lady uniform, but it's just common sense that styles designed to showcase youth are not likely to work very well.

Sorry, got off on a bit of a tangent.

13 years ago

lyn67

Veteran

I'm 45, busty and a bit overweight with a wide back and shoulders. I hate my upper arms -so I gave up wearing sleeveless unless coverring up with cardis like Shiny said. (short sleeve blazers, breezy shirts, crochette or mesh shrugs also good)

Cap sleeves are a big nono, but I feel sleeveless a mare, too.
I don't know about you, but I feel like my upper arms are sticking out of my frame drawing a curve even wider than my wide shoulders when my arms down... so sadly doesn't feel right at all for me, can somebody relate?

Longer short sleeve, or elbow length are the best, but this summer was way too hot here and struggled a lot:-(

13 years ago

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