My safety net is getting smaller

unfrumped

Sorry if being repetetive about wardrobe editing, but when you're on a roll...
Also, I find it helps to do some winnowing and then read something to keep up the energy or encouragement or break through little dams in the process, so maybe it helps others, too.

Another concept that is helping me this go-round is the idea of the safety net.
Elly (sorry Elly, I wrote Ella the first time--iphone typing) alluded to it on my post on cohesion, and then I read some more on Bridgette Rae's blog (which I recommend for organizing junkies).

A lot of my clothing seems to be part of a safety net of some sort--as though I won't have enough variety of cardigans, or this or that top is in multiples so I can wear the same top with different colors, or I might not have enough FFBO's for a busy work season.

The problem of course is not just the safety net factor itself, but that the items are not 10's, or the outfit is not a 10. It would seem that just asking the " 9 or 10" question would be enough.

But for me, the safety net concept is part of the psychology of keeping things, and it seems able override the fab or not fab, because some of the things would be good in another context, but are not working for what I need.

So I'm asking the obvious question, what's the worst thing that would happen if I did not have this? Almost always, the item really isn't the key to some fantastic outfit or style goal or occasion. This is especially with things that are duplicates in some way, not necessarily exact dupes or even color dupes, but similar. And I am finding out that the answer is, nothing bad at all, and more likely something good.

11 years ago

Inspiration

13 replies

Latest reply was from unfrumped

CocoLion

(website)

Veteran

Unfrumped this makes a lot of sense! I too purchase things in multiples, in fact it is hard for me to resist the urge to purchase something again in another color if I like it. When I might just appreciate it more if it is only one piece; it might feel more valuable. (But then again, if it feels too valuable then I end up "saving" it and not wearing it as much as I should!)

I like how you ask yourself "what is the worst thing that could happen" if you didn't have x item anymore. I am going to use this as part of my wardrobe edit process in the future.

11 years ago

Suz

(website)

Veteran

This is a great question to ask yourself, I think.

It's funny, reading over your post and Denise's response, i realized yet again how much our relationship to clothes is a reflection of our relationship to...well...life...or just an expression of personality, I guess. And different people will have different strengths and weaknesses when it comes to wardrobe purchasing and editing, as with anything else.

I have no problem wearing my "good" things (as long as they meet the comfort test). Then again, I don't spend all that much on most items, and maybe I would have some trouble wearing an $800 blouse to clean the litter box.

Or maybe I should have more trouble -- for instance, I got salad oil on my blue silk sleeveless tunic top last night while cooking, even though I was wearing an apron. It came out in the wash, but nonetheless, I had to change during supper prep, which was a pain. And I had wanted to wear and enjoy it.

I'm also a purger rather than a hoarder by temperament. So I don't think it has ever occurred to me that I might need a "safety net" of clothes. But maybe I should think in those terms a little bit sometimes! A "safety net" would probably make a pretty good travel capsule, for example -- and I do a lot of travelling.

So...what is the bare minimum I would need to get by? It's not a bad exercise to force ourselves to do the opposite of what our normal tendencies would tell us to do. In my case -- hang on. In your case -- toss it!

11 years ago

unfrumped

Veteran

Along with this question is the brilliant, unoriginal aha concept, also hammered home by several bloggers, that my wardrobe will get better now by more purging and less buying. That isn't for a minimalist goal, it's for clarity of style and purpose. I also don't mean I'm on a new clothing moratorium (heaven forfend), and in fact several new items this summer have focused things a lot, but that as you go along, then there are many times when the progress will be made more by what is let go than in the new things added. (need to tattoo that on my forehead, though).

11 years ago

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I've definitely found this to be true. When I let go of stuff and go to replace it, I ask myself much tougher questions about my actual needs and wants.

11 years ago

Thistle

Veteran

So interesting! I am a purger by nature. We moved around a lot as a kid and it was just second nature to toss stuff before moving again. It was harder as a kid because we were pretty poor, so it wasn't always a certainty items could be replaced.

Even as an adult, I tend to purge maybe more than. Should. Buti all my years of ruthless purging, have only ever donated one thing I later regretted and ended up buying again.

Turning my clothes hangers really heled focus me as well. Several beautiful pieces went to my church. I thought I was wearing them, but it turns out I wasn't. Ad when pressed to wear them, I chose not to for a number of reasons. So, beautiful on someone else.

11 years ago

unfrumped

Veteran

It did help to have a couple of new items, in that, when I got some new pants with a little better style and fit, it clarifed which of several tops to keep. And when I got my pleated pants with the waistline higher, I could re-mix blouses that tuck in with those. But it also helps me see I don't need endless versions, so I could keep just a few.

11 years ago

rachylou

Veteran

This definitely makes a lot of a sense. I think I need to have a look at the closet...

11 years ago

Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

Thanks for introducing me to this safety net idea. It sure has the ring of truth for me. I believe on some level I'm worried about having nothing to wear, as ridiculous as that may be (if you saw inside my wardrobe).

11 years ago

Joy

Veteran

I like the term safety net too. It does a good job of explaining my thinking about hanging onto things. I need to remember the questions you raise. Thank you for a thought provoking post.

11 years ago

Lyn D.

Veteran

I have enjoyed reading your threads about closet organisation, and also use a holding area for items I intend to purge.
I also make myself look through the items one last time before they leave the house, but rarely change my mind about things.
It sounds like you are doing a stella job!

11 years ago

Anonymous

Great thread! You are having some really good insights that are providing a jumping off point for some thoughts of my own. As you may know, I love the editing process. It is painful but often so productive in ways that are not at first apparent.

If I have some things that I'm keeping that are not 9s or 10s that I'm saving in case a certain occasion presents itself, then guess what? I will probably end up wearing them and not feeling very fab. These "just in case" items can be very insidious. I used to pick them up for a few dollar, here and there, because I thought they were a good value and I had this sort of famine mentality. This can be a problem with anyone who has gone through lean financial times.

So then I ended up wearing that dated LBD with huge fused shoulder pads to my husband's Christmas party one year, a warm (but extremely bright) Lands' End stadium coat to my son's football games, and those uncomfortable heels to a fundraiser where I had to stand and chat up the donors. Shopping for a new dress, coat, or heels when I already have something suitable (even if negligibly so) is a foreign concept to me, and certainly to DH, who thinks of clothing on only the simplest level. By getting rid of items like this, I'm paving the way for something better in a very real, physical sense.

By saving things that "might work in another context" perhaps we are cheating ourselves of shopping for something fab and appropriate, both to that specific occasion, and to who we have become (style-wise) during that season. I really resonated with your question and the answer at which you arrived, "...what's the worst thing that would happen if I did not have this?...I am finding out that the answer is, nothing bad at all, and more likely something good."

11 years ago

FlorenceFearne

Active Member

This one really hit me too. I'm one that has the closet full of stuff and wears the same few things over and over. The rest of it I keep, "just in case." I'm really not sure what eventuality could possibly come up that would require me to need all this stuff, yet I hold on.

And of course when things do happen, like my company's recent decision to change dress code JUST after I donated bags and bags of things to the charity shop, it just makes me more gun shy the next time. But I'm trying to accept that even if there is occasionally a time that I give something away and regret it, that's far better than living every single day with things I neither use nor love.

11 years ago

unfrumped

Veteran

Clearlyclaire, thanks also for the reference to avioding items that are "diluting your style" . I had read some of that blog but did not pick up on that quote. That is a great mantra . it has been frustrating because I was at a point where " my style" seemed so dilute already that how could one thing
make a difference, going out or coming in? But it's getting clearer!

FF, I hear you! All I can say is that for some reason the wheels are turning better this summer even though I'd thought I was making progress before, it's like another door has opened.

11 years ago

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