My neutral-nemesis: grey (long) - YouLookFab Forum

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My neutral-nemesis: grey (long)

Keix

Veteran

I'm preparing for a closet review and noticed a trend in some of my difficult-to-style pieces: they are various shades of grey, a color that I struggle to wear in the same way that many others here have struggled with black. Maybe all of you light-neutral wearers can help me out?

I don't currently have access to a mirror with not-terrible lighting since I moved to a new building at work with a different bathroom layout (also why I've stopped posting WIW's). Ironically, I have two full-length mirrors at home and both of them are backlit by the only windows in my apartment... So you'll have to imagine how these pieces look on me. My complexion is MAC NC30 with a distinct Asian-yellow undertone; my hair is currently black with future plans of becoming partially teal.

In order of Finds, here are all of the grey pieces in my wardrobe:

1) The cardigan that made me realize my conundrum. It's a light-to-medium heathered warm gray tone that ought to go with everything and yet seems to go with nothing except white and blush (colors I enjoy but don't wear frequently). I've worn it 4 times since purchasing it at the end of last year and never really felt fab in it. But I like the crochet lace detail and this shape has been a workhorse for me in the past.

2) Dove grey leather jacket. Truly in-between in undertone between cool grey and warm grey. I can pair it easily with black, which isn't the case for the sweater in #1, or light blue (another infrequent color in my wardrobe), but I struggle with tops to layer underneath.

3) Casual light grey penguin sweater. I usually just throw this on with blue jeans and it works, but it hasn't helped me branch out with other grey items.

4) Colorblock tunic sweater in cool-toned light and charcoal grey. Works with blue, white, or black jeans; sensing a trend? This sweater is super soft and flattering, so I'd like to wear it more often.

5) Dark charcoal cashmere v-neck pullover. Again, a staple with jeans and a colorful or delicate necklace. It was frequently worn when I lived on the East coast and is starting to show its age. I'll probably replace it with a black sweater.

6) Charcoal grey long-sleeve sheath dress. This is the easiest of my grey pieces to style--any long necklace or colorful scarf--but it ought to be, since it's a one-piece no-topper-required dress!

I used to have grey suede boots, but those were donated in my last closet edit and they suffered the same how-to-style fate.

Overall I tend to look best in jewel tones but can also wear light colors like blush, mint, taupe. And I love metallic footwear, which seems to be a different sort of neutral altogether.

tl;dr: Do you have any tips for wearing grey--particularly lighter or heathered shades--with medium-toned, high-contrast coloring?

Knitted & Knotted Messina Cardigan

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Penguin Sweater

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Banana Republic

Ruched Gray Jersey Dress

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Dressing

16 replies

Latest reply was from Keix

Suz

(website)

Veteran

This is a very interesting question. I'm particularly curious to know what others say because I actually bought my daughter (who is Asian) a grey knit jacket today, at her request, because she tried it on and it looked so great! (In Finds)

I don't know if her complexion is similar to yours. I think she has cool undertones. I've noticed that she suits a lot of the same colours I do -- except in brighter, more intense versions. And of course she looks amazing in black and white.

Also -- some of this may simply be down to style preferences. She has a very boyish style and on the whole prefers neutrals (apart from some reds).

Anyway, onto your question. I am actually amazed that you can wear that range of greys at all, because they are so very different!! Judging from the photos alone (which I know are not always accurate) I could not wear #1 all that well...although I might have managed it as a kind of taupe when I was blonde. The others, esp .the charcoals and bluer toned ones, would all work -- but hey, I have grey hair, which suddenly makes grey (always a good neutral for me) a complete slam dunk. What black is probably to you.

My advice would be to "bookmark" it somehow, especially as you get used to wearing it. Find ways to pick it up elsewhere -- or else use black and white with it, or possibly red (if that is a good colour for you -- or any other jewel tone, really).

I love the colour block sweater, by the way.

Maybe check out Sveta's posts with that grey jacket. She had coloured her hair darker and her complexion has an olive cast so she might be a good inspiration. She is an adventurous colour mixer.

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tulle

Veteran

You're discovering one of gray's little secrets: it's more variable than any color I can think of, and its many variants rarely play well together. Cool grays + warm grays = a drab battle. Dark grays and light grays may work, but not always. Black can make gray look tired. Finding the colors that work best with your gray items will take persistence and experimentation. For me, the one color that shows almost all grays to advantage is cream (including pearls!) I also love all shades of pink with most grays. Citron, coral & scarlet are worth a try if you wear those colors well. Heathery mauves, burgundies & lavenders can be pretty if they suit your coloring. My mother used to look very chic in charcoal with camel; that combo might be good on you, too. White, as you've discovered, is fresh with cool grays. Silver & light blues, too. I think darker pewter metallic footwear looks wonderful with deep grays especially, but it's not an easy color to find. Cognac looks rich with medium grays. It's really a matter of trial & error, so don't be afraid to play, paying special attention to what goes next to your face. Sometimes a white shirt or a patterned scarf can make all the difference.

DonnaF

Veteran

FWIW, I am also drawn to gray but have found that it can be challenging. I keep buying or trying to buy gray dresses. I now try to avoid warm grays and cool grays, especially since I think neither flatters me as much as neutral gray. I also find charcoal a little easier and way more flattering. Patterned grays like your sweater and textured gray can be a bit more forgiving and easier to combine with another gray.

I think the lesson that you and I have learned is that with gray, like any other *color*, one can't assume it will *go* with X, Y, and Z: It has to be tested next to the garment (if you do the "It has to go with at least three things I have" test).

The grays you showed also have implications regarding which whites/off-whites/creams will work best.

Gray with gray can be a difficult combo, but gray with burgundy or dark green works. I have a metallic gray V-neck pullover and dark metallic T so those also work with the grays. I think you could combine either a warm or cool gray with a neutral charcoal gray, but not warm and cool at the same time.

FWIW, I think my coloring was similar to yours but maybe slightly darker before I went gray.

Keix

Veteran

Suz: I can picture that blazer on your gamine daughter and I bet it looks amazing! It’s definitely possible for Asians to have cool undertones, so I wouldn’t be surprised if that helps her suit different colors. I don’t think I can fully pull off all of the different greys that I own, though! Charcoal and cool greys seem to work best. #3, the penguin sweater, is such a light grey that it’s almost white, plus the penguin design adds more shades of black/grey. The dove grey blazer works only with light colors next to my face, and I’m not sure that the warm grey cardi suits my complexion. That may be why it’s the most vexing item, after all.

tulle: Thank you for all of the specific color suggestions! I will try out cream, scarlet, pink, coral, and burgundy… shades of red in general, it seems. Perhaps also mauve, although it’s not a color I’m typically drawn to. And I just bought a pair of dark pewter metallic booties, so that will be fun to play with. I tend to like lightly saturated colors best when they’re mixed up in prints (e.g. the pink and light blue top attached below, which I need to test out with my grey toppers). Non-frilly pastel prints are hard to find though.

DonnaF: I definitely agree that charcoal and patterned greys are the easiest to wear. I’ve learned the hard way that “grey” is a color, not a neutral… Seeing all of my grey items collected here, it's amazing how different they are.

anchie

Veteran

I like navy and grey together, but possible other shades of blue can work too. Also olive and grey if you wear olive. White is a safe bet, and every strong color like coral, orange, pink, turquoise looks great with grey. Most difficult for me is combining the grays together and I rarely do that.

Anonymous

I just recently started adding grey to my wardrobe. I'll be bookmarking Tulle's and Anchie's suggestions.

Lucy

Veteran

I love grey! I also love black - hard to know which is my fav neutral!
I agree that it is hard to mix greys, because they can have different undertones.
I wear grey with black, white, and cream (i'd probably add a scarf with some pattern or texture to these outfits). These are all "safe". But I also wear it a lot with cobalt, which I love. I also wear it with burgundy, orange, denim (of all shades), purple, pink. I don't think I wear any other colours, so that's it from me. One thing I don't like is grey and khaki.

Bijou

Veteran

I love to wear grey with black, navy, red and burgundy in winter and with turquoise, pink and white in spring summer. I mainly purchase cool based greys as they work best on me.

I do have a couple of heathered greys and these look amazing with olive - from dark to light olive.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Angie did a whole post on the difficulties of grey footwear and how to overcome those. http://youlookfab.com/2015/09/.....-footwear/

The post brought up the key problem with grey. It's hard to combine in an outfit (even though that was my recommendation, ha!) But I still think one can do it if there's a pattern that includes grey (or black and white which read as grey from a distance) or perhaps one clothing item, one accessory, etc. Especially if one of the "greys" is metallic.

I love tulle's and donnaF's suggestions for colour pairings.

But when we think about the colours that "go with" another colour or neutral, it can become a bit abstract -- the real question, as you've pointed out, is which pairings work on you. And that will depend what's in your closet and what flatters your complexion.

Diana

Veteran

I think we have similar coloring although I might be a little darker. I do wear grey. Charcoal is my favorite - I just think of it as "light black" (similar to faded black denim and things like that) and treat it like black. I like that it's a little softer than true black sometimes. I also like paler greys but they can be a bit trickier. My light grey jeans are a favorite (they're my white jeans sub) but they're nowhere near my face so I don't worry about the color clashing w/my complexion.... I do have a light grey blazer w/ neon yellow piping and I think that works well, so a pop of bright color, even just a touch, helps a lot. I like red and turquoise w grey as well and in general think brights pair better than jewel tones with lighter greys. (They both work great with charcoal and darker greys. I also like navy, white, and black with all shades of grey.
Cooler and darker greys are definitely easiest but I do think other shades can be made to work.

(Will post some photos for you later when I'm at my computer.)

JAileen

Veteran

I'm not Asian, but I do wear a lot of grey due to my grey/silver hair. It really is hard to make them work together. I don't try to pile on the greys, I add blue or olive to the outfit. I'm sure lots of other colors would work also, I've just edited them out of the mix in my wardrobe.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I can't imagine you battling to wear these grey items with a black support act, denim, white, and black shoes, KL. Your complexion works well with that palette - and it's just how you've described the styling of these items.

I'm wondering a few things:

Maybe you have too much grey and black? And wearing the palette too often simply doesn't do it for you, despite it looking good. Explore those feelings.
You need to wear grey with colour and pattern, perhaps.
Are you trying to match the grey with grey shoes? That's hard. Try black or bright footwear.

Diana

Veteran

Um, OK, so I really do wear a lot of grey, apparently. (more than even I expected). These are all from the last year. (I didn't bother to go back any further in my photo album than 1 year but I'm sure there are a million more in there). But I think this is a pretty good selection. I included #18 so you could see a closeup of a grey item right next to my face (this is a very cool grey with flecks of teal).

Any questions about any of these in particular, just ask! =)

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texstyle

(website)

Veteran

Some great suggestions here already. I find the lighter heather gray and silver to be the most difficult (for me) because I just don't think I love them. I love charcoal gray and deeper heather grays and wear those often with denim blue, navy, white, olive, and burgundy.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Wow, Diana, what a brilliant retrospective!! And you look amazing in grey. I think that's what I was seeing when my daughter put on the grey jacket! Her eyes seemed to pop and is somehow brought out the pink in her cheeks a bit, too.

Keix

Veteran

Angie: You’ve hit the issue right on the head. I have worn these grey pieces with black, denim, and white; but that alone doesn't "do it" for me. I tend to rely on neutrals to calm down colorful and patterned tops/dresses, which is where I struggle with these varying shades of grey because they don’t just “go with everything” like other neutrals (at least black/white/denim for me) do.

Since donating my rarely worn grey boots, I no longer own any grey footwear so that’s not an issue. But it’s also very possible that I might just have too much grey and black. Between the two, I definitely prefer black, so I may need to pare down my grey collection.

Diana: I love red and turquoise, so I will dig through my wardrobe to see if I have any bright tops to go with my grey toppers. THANK YOU for the many inspirational photos! we have similar skin tones and tastes in colors, so it’s really helpful. I especially like #1, 3, 11, 14. And the all-neutral outfits like 16 and 20 are helping to adjust my eye; I might think to myself, “oh, plain white and grey is so boring” if I wore #16, but then I think it looks so great on you (especially with the silver sandals, that’s advanced grey-wearing there).

Something else this thread has shown me is that I DON'T need to go out and buy a bunch of pastel/light-colored tops to wear with my grey toppers. I'm happier with blue-based brights (I'm unlikely to wear citron, but bright red and turquoise, absolutely) than adding more light blue or pink than the couple of pieces that I already have.