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some closet decisions this year

Anonymous

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Dressing

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Thirkellgirl

Veteran

I think you're on the right track. I am (today!) going through my closet yet again as I switch winter and summer clothes out. Each time I get a little more ruthless. I have two storage bins in the basement of things I'm holding onto (including the out of season stuff) which is a dramatic reduction from a few years ago. I am holding onto only a few things that don't currently fit (I've gained a lot of weight in the past few years) - things I know I absolutely would wear if I lost some weight (some LL Bean polos, a pair of go-to-hell pants in a wild print, a couple expensive LBDs). I work at a non-profit that has a clothing closet, and I know for a fact that somebody else would be darned glad to have my stuff, so it's easier to let it go. I finally have a wardrobe that reflects what I want to wear no matter what size or shape I am. When I lose the weight (which I'm working on) I will replace what's too big with exactly the same stuff.

I went into my daughter's room a few days ago to use her full-length mirror, saw the dresser drawer was ajar, and that led to helping her purge her drawers. She's gained some weight too (she just doesn't have the body of someone who leads high-rope courses full-time now that she's in an office job) and she is SO much happier not to have things that are too small in her drawers. She is making cuter outfits, of course she looks nicer in the things that are larger (and we're only talking up a size), and she feels better about how she looks. Go for it!

Anonymous

Sounds like a great plan! As the saying goes, dress the body you have today and enjoy!

Anonymous

I just moved a bunch of tops to a holding zone. My entire wardrobe is in one closet. I just have them in order by color and a couple other criteria from sleeveless to long sleeve (this includes any jackets besides outerwear).

Here's my long lamented dilemma however - I have more long sleeve tops I like than short sleeve. And I live in a hot climate and I'm always hot. Partly, the long sleeves last longer because they're less worn. Only a few of the long sleeve tops were purchased within the last two years. But I need short sleeve tops almost every day of the year. And I just zoned a few tops I purchased in the last year! Eek, that reinforces that I'm settling when I purchase short sleeve tops because I need them so badly.

I used to have more problems with bottoms than tops, but I currently don't have any issues with bottoms besides seeking a couple warm weather options which I feel confident about finding.

Anonymous

And I just had a thought based on my longevity of my long sleeve tops. I have always thought I just had a need for a high newness factor. But maybe it's just what I have in my short sleeve tops is not matching what I have in my colder weather tops. Or it could still be new - I'm so excited when I can wear a warmer sweater, for example, because it's so rare.

Will continue to ponder this.

Thirkellgirl - I am taking inspiration from your response. I often have to go in waves of clean out too. I can get rid of things pretty readily, but I am trying to avoid the constant churn. Glad it helped DD too. I remember seeing her in a post you made, and she is adorable.

Thanks Zoiechic.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I think this is a good year for short sleeved tops so stock up if you can! In the past it was pretty much all sleeveless or long sleeve. I like sleeveless for hot weather but I do not work in an office, which means I don't have modesty issues.

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

I think holding zones are a fantastic way to move forward with your wardrobe. I also seem to always have more long sleeve tops than short sleeved or sleeveless too. I'm making some steps towards focusing on sleeveless and short sleeves specifically when I shop these days but it's hard (for me) to find things that are natural fiber and *not* just a tee. I do have several Madewell short sleeved button downs that are light weight cotton, boxy (larger more A shape) and cool for warmer temps. And I have one more sleeveless on order in my Finds. I'm also going to make an effort to wear a couple of other sleeveless tops I already own.

Recently I "raided" my holding zone and came out with a summer tank I actually do like, a new pair of shorts I *thought* were too bold (deep navy subtle floral pattern) and a flannel shirt for next winter that I thought was "too gray" but decided with the right jewelry and white or black bottoms, it's actually great.

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Gaylene

Veteran

I've been a bit hesitant to jump in with these posts about menopausal body changes, but I'm "delurking" on your post, Delurked, because I think you are on the right track.

I'm now heading towards my seventh decade, still in reasonably good shape and only a size up from my "normal" forties self, but my current body isn't ever going to go back to what it was in my late fifties and early sixties. "Healthy eating" and "working out at the gym" are still very important to me, but they are no longer euphemisms for weight loss or trying to tone up my physique so I can shimmy into a tight pair of jeans and a form-fitting top.

Downsizing my wardrobe a few years ago really brought home the idea that wearing clothes which made me feel good about myself ought to be my new goal. My body no longer was as malleable as it used to be. Losing 10-15 pounds made me look haggard instead of svelte and my bust/waist/hip ratios seemed to go their own way--my bust and hips shrank while my middle stayed more or less the same. My upper arms were strong, but the muscle definition seemed ropey instead of firm. It is what it is...

Trying to hang on to my former self just made it harder to come to terms with who I am now. I've come to think there is lots of middle ground between desperately fighting the signs of aging and totally throwing in the towel. Figuring out a style which makes me feel energetic and happy (and which still elicits compliments from my husband!) is a far cry from giving up. It's my way of coming to terms with how I'll look, and want to feel, in my seventies. So I vote don't look backward, purge what belonged to your former self and move into your future.

ETA: I'm probably an outlier here, but I've become dubious of the value of a "holding zone" for items which no longer fit my size, shape, lifestyle, or emerging style goals. The concept worked me when I was younger--when my body responded to diets and exercise regimes, or when my jobs or locations changed, or when It was easier to morph between style preferences because the range of what worked was greater--but, as I got older, those pieces just sat mournfully creating a kind of clothing graveyard. Aging is hard enough without that kind of depressing reminder.

Anonymous

Gaylene - thank you for your thoughtful response. I am glad you understand what I mean. I do myself no favors trying to contort myself into who I was ten or twenty years ago. I want to embrace where I am now and have the clothes fit my life today. I find holding zones a mixed bag. Usually I take them back into my regular closet and still don't wear most of it, so I think you're right that it should just be moved along right away.

Suz - I will be on the lookout for short sleeve tops. The other good thing about assessing my winter clothing is I can see how little I will need to buy for it next fall.

Texstyle - I just put on a top from the quick holding zone I just created. It's interesting to see what items we actually miss and take back. I have never tried Madewell, as there isn't a store near me, but I may try something from them through Nordstrom. I keep an eye out for your finds, as we live in similar climates, although I believe I'm quite a bit taller than you.

Anonymous

Good for you! Our bodies do change with age, and it's better to have clothing you enjoy wearing than beating yourself up over what you can't wear. It can be a big mental challenge to accept and move on, but it sounds like you're doing it. Thanks for the inspiration!

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

Funny, everyone has a different thought on their holding zone. Maybe I just put too many things in mine - I'm a very slow adopter to a new look. That said, about 90% of my own HZ does end up being donated or gifted within a year or two.

I'm about 5' 6" or 7" (just for reference).

Anonymous

Texstyle - not sure why I thought you were shorter than that. I still have some height on you, but i can adjust mentally now to how something might fit you vs me.

Xtabay - I have been a little resistant to getting rid of so much because I don't have unlimited funds to replenish (same as everyone, I know). But if I'm not wearing it, and it's making me feel bad too, I really need to make the leap.

Anonymous

Delurked - as you know, I'm doing much the same thing you are, and for many of the same reasons. It's a heck of a job though, and even after 2 days last weekend, I'm still not finished.

And I am with Gaylene (I'm always with Gaylene) in not finding holding zones terribly useful. The stuff just sits there and ultimately ends up being given away. And Gaylene: I am trying to pay heed to your recommendations for getting over the past (size and weight and body shape) and getting on with it. I'd find the shift a whole lot easier to do if there were actually clothes out there for women my age who don't have a fat-free body. It seems everything is so body con , or cropped, or crazy - none of which works on most women . Anyways - your comments were useful and important, thank you.

Jenni NZ

Veteran

Delurked, I was menopausal on the early side, aged 46, now 10 years ago. The small amount of clothing I have left that I still wear is one (vintage, 1964, it was Mum's) coat, 3 jumpers, one jacket from 1989 that I still fit- that sort of thing. Other than that there are a few precious items from my 20s and 30s in a spare closet. They do give me pleasure on the odd time I look at them... eg the dress I graduated in. Apart from them I hardly think about what I wore before my weight gain. I have photos of my favourite old items that I felt good wearing, that I gathered for the stylist I saw in 2010. I look at those at times more to remind myself of the vibes I've always liked, as my tastes have not changed that much over decades. It's just that maybe the shape of those beloved florals or black-and-white dresses is different now.
So virtually my whole wardrobe turned over since about 2008. I do have trouble culling, but not exactly because I'm mourning what I can't fit, more that I just like so many things. I'm not quite sure where I'm going with this! Maybe that in a way not having a big budget will sort of help, because my wardrobe did explode when trying to dress the new me and I'm still dealing with the aftermath, which was how I was able to have a 3.5 month shopping fast over our whole summer!

Anonymous

Lisap - I often relate to your posts for our similar thought processes. Gaylene always seems to be right on target, and I agree very much that I would be able to move on better if I could find more flattering clothes. We all know when we put on an item of clothing and it feels like a winner. The problem is when you can't find enough of them to stock your wardrobe. That's where the angst and over shopping comes in - trying to find what feels so elusive, then settling for pretty decent, and then wanting to chuck decent and find really good, which is so very hard to find.

Jenni - I think you're right about still liking many of the same things, just perhaps interpreted differently. I love vibrant (my way) color and prints amongst a little more subtle pieces. I need to make sure that's what I'm bringing home, since that's what I like to reach for.

MovingFashionForward

When I started getting myself back in shape following weight gain due to an injury and surgery that stopped me even walking for several months, I too found that loads of my clothes didn't fit me. I gave myself one year in which to wear those items that had become too tight, and had they not been worn by the end of that year, I would have donated them. I used the standard reversed hangers trick to ensure I wouldn't miss any. I wouldn't have used a holding zone for size-related issues (even time-limited like mine was) unless I could be pretty sure I wouldn't have a problem getting back to my normal weight.

On the other hand, I have several times during my major wardrobe edit wished I had used a holding zone; for example, when I've realised that I've donated something I was intending to wear. This has happened a number of times!

Sarah

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

LOVE THIS, delurked.

Make peace. Move on. Milk it.

Keep the holding zone small - that's always been the point - or opt for no zone at all. I have about two to five things in my holding zone at one time. That works for me.

And I echo EVERTHING Gaylene said about embracing that all important middle ground that you can manage quite easily - both physically and mentally - and feel happy about.

Sal

Veteran

Interesting thread indeed!! I like all your approaches.

I am like Angie, a small holding zone. Unlike her I do a seasonal swap out (actually in autumn, early winter, spring and summer) with 2/3 of my closet not needing swapping and 1/2 my shoes not needing swapping. This is when I also reevaluate my holding zone and see if I want to add those pieces back in.

For me it works with two-three types of item only:
1) A fit issue, but only a marginal one. ie half a size too small.
2) An overdose - I have pieces that I like a lot but maybe wear a little too much, putting them away for 3-6 months gives me clarity about "how over them" I actually am.
3) Evening wear. I keep my cocktail dresses (2-3) in my main closet but do have a few incidental evening pieces that I rarely wear. I don't pass it on usually, I keep it for the grandkids (or maybe future partners of my two sons). I grew up with a huge array of these types of pieces (old bridesmaid dresses, party dresses) and it was so fun to be able to wear them as a teenager for various occasions.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I find the holding zone discussions very interesting.

Like Sal, I switch out my closet by season (due to our extreme seasons, more of mine is switched). I actually like the process because it allows me to do a serious edit both at the end of a season (when anything that I have outworn, did not love, find uncomfortable, or am just thoroughly sick of gets passed on), and at the start of the new season, when I evaluate how what is left fits and "fits in" with a new style direction.

Even with these relatively frequent and serious culls, I keep a small holding zone. Much like Sal's, it includes:

Much-loved standards or iconic items (i.e. leather jackets) that I may come back to, but that I haven't worn in a given year. (That said, I have at least two leather jackets I am probably going to pass along this year. In good shape, but one in a colour that is no longer a neutral for me, and one in a style I'd like to update.)

Evening/ party wear. (I may not wear it often, but wow do I need it when I need it.)

Pieces I wore too much and feel bored of...but still really like.

Pieces that are essentials for my wardrobe, but are showing wear and need upgrading -- yet I'm not sure I'll find their replacements right away.

If something truly does not fit or feel comfortable, it is GONE. I just don't keep those items. I am willing to hang onto it if it is a touch too loose, but if it's so tight that I feel bad in it, forget it.

Penny

Veteran

Sounds like you are off to a solid start and have gotten some great insights. For me, I'd rather just pass on something when it's no longer right - and while I often plan to replace it, when the would-be replacement doesn't work out, I tend to find that I don't miss the original item and still have more than enough choices in my wardrobe. In short, you may be able to significantly edit and moderately update your wardrobe and be in a great place, depending on your needs and preferences. Keep us posted!

Anonymous

MFF - I see the reasoning for keeping items for a predetermined period for weight gain. What makes this time a bit different for me is that my weight has somewhat redistributed. I have been this weight or close before, but it was stored in different places. This means I'm dressing a self I've not quite dressed before.

Angie - I also agree with the middle ground. That's where most of us should live, most of the time, I think. I will heed your advice about a small holding zone.

Suz & Sal - I agree the items in question for holding zone should be a near fit. I think things would feel fresh if there was a true changing out of closet. It is probably exciting to play with the new clothes.

Penny - sometimes I find myself trying to recreate an original loved item. The replacement usually falls short. A reminder to keep looking forward, unless we are talking basics.

JAileen

Veteran

If you have items you love that don't fit, and you have room to store them, then I don't see any reason not to hang on to them for awhile. Maybe review them every so often to see if you still love them. I'd definitely store them in a spare room closet so you don't see them every day, though. If or when they fit you again, you can decide whether they also fit your current style.

Joy

Veteran

This is such an interesting thread. I completely agree with Gaylene and Suz. As one who is on the other side of menopause, I again run cold rather than too warm. Your body will dictate certain aspects of your wardrobe, and it isn't only weight. Aches and pains and various ailments may figure into your choices, even if you have worked hard to stay fit. A dear friend in her 60's can no longer raise her arms above the waist because she swam daily for years and the repetitive movement damaged her shoulders. Despite lots of physical therapy, she can no longer do up fasteners on tops or raise her arms to pull something over her head or do her hair and makeup the way she would like to. A cousin with arthritis cannot do buttons and sticks to elastic waistlines. Feet get very fussy. Of course there are wonderful exceptions and each of us hopes that we will be one of them. If not, acceptance of the new reality is so important; looking at what we can do and working with grace to be the best we can be under the circumstances and happy or, at least content. I don't want this to be depressing, just something to think about when thinking of the future of a wardrobe when you are past menopause.

Julie

Hi! I totally support your goal of removing from sight stuff that doesn't work anymore. I found this so freeing! For me, i had a donate/sell box that i kept around until it was full. Mentally the items were gone, but i could go back and retrieve something if i found I'd made a mistake (which i did extremely rarely).

RobinF

Veteran

Such a great thread! I have the same issues with body and size. My weight is pretty much the same as 10 years ago but my body is different. I need to accept it and move on. I'm not giving up but agree now it is genuinely for health rather than looks. "Trying to hang on to my former self just made it harder to come to terms with who I am now. I've come to think there is lots of middle ground between desperately fighting the signs of aging and totally throwing in the towel" This quote from Gaylene's post above is exactly how I feel about it.

Bijou

Veteran

This is a brilliant thread and I think a useful reminder for all of us to live in the present rather than try to hold onto the past. Whilst I have yet to go through the journey of menopause, as a woman in my 40's, it is so instructive to know what I am likely to deal with in the not too distant future. Thank you for you candid comments and advice.

Chris987

Veteran

Love all the comments here, can't think of much to add that has not already been said. Such wise words, such good advice all around.

Gaylene

Veteran

Joy expresses it perfectly! After years of assuming my body will do whatever I want it to do, I'm finding more and more I have to accept what my body IS--and be grateful I'm not facing the challenges confronting some of my friends and peers.

Anonymous

JAileen - I don't have too much room for storage, but can make it work so I can get the iffy items out of my closet.

Joy and Gaylene - I take what you say to heart. It is very unknown when we each will have things to face, and I've seen plenty of people who serious things happen to way earlier than you would expect. One more reason to keep in moderation with health and happiness.

Julie - I pretty much always have a donate bag going. I actually hold on to less than most, and lightening the load is a good feeling.

Robin, Bijou, Chris - we have a lot of wise women on this forum. Glad this post can resonate with others too.