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Musings on figure flattery and photos.

Sal

Veteran

Recently a few forum members have said that they have not worried as much about traditional figure flattery when choosing an outfit. I actually have thought their outfits have been fantastic and flattering.

So I wondered if these tricks we use work or not- To my eye in the mirror they do but in reality with movement and poses it can be quite different.

I also then wondered if how outfits look in photos influences us more than we think. I can see a few outfits in the same week and some photograph so much better than others. But again this is only part of the picture. One of my favourite dresses looks very boxy in a photo but the movement makes it fun and floaty. See find below. For a party my sister recommended not wearing it because it would not photograph well. I did wear it but she was right.

Of course sometimes I think - all very well for models to be just flattering enough - on me it might be not flattering enough.... so I do try and keep that in mind.

Does anyone else have thoughts on this?

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31 replies

Latest reply was from Vildy

Suz

(website)

Veteran

For sure, Sally -- the photos and the mirror tell different stories and then real life tells another story again! There is also the added complication that most of us (unlike fashion models) are not being photographed in excellent light by professionals paid to make everything look great! We're taking awkward mirror selfies or setting up a DSLR on a little tripod in our poorly lit bedrooms or patios or whatever or getting our much shorter or taller kids or partners to take our photos! Who knows what we look like, really? It's a wonder we even recognize ourselves.

I try to go more by how I feel in the outfit vs. how it looks...although of course I am influenced by my sense of how it looks as well. And in a situation like yours where I know I will be on camera, I try to wear something that photographs well, isn't too busy, etc. I tend to think about the "audience" for the outfit, if that makes sense. Traditional figure flattery matters more in some situations than others. Trendiness matters more in some situations. Signature style is more important in other situations, etc. I guess I say that as someone who tries to balance all fo these -- but the right balance will differ according to the outfit's occasion.

rachylou

Veteran

I must say, I do like it when they do video on shopping sites or like QVC, show the same item on different people.

Helena

Veteran

I love these musings Sally. I totally agree that photos and life tell two different stories. Perhaps because photos are now so ubiquitous, they are becoming overly influential. I always assume photos are more honest, but actually when I think of makeup, say, i see girls wearing making that is for Instagram and, to my eye at least, it detracts from their beauty irl. I also read a blog post earlier about dressing for body types that reminded readers there is no piece of clothing that's going to change a person's body! Not to mention these guidelines generally assume flattery = skinny. Anyways, I try to wear things I think are "flattering" but am also trying to be better at what Suz mentions which is focusing on how I feel vs how flat I think my stomach looks! I agree too -movement, life, confidence are not always captured in a photo but they read loud and clear irl!

Katerina

Veteran

Oh yes, Sal! I think about this too and agree with everything Suz says.
Just one addition - in photographs, it is almost impossible to see quality of fabric. Some simple things in amazing fabrics will often not get justice in photos. And som not so good materials can look good in photos. IMO, this is often the problem of the sort of “splurge versus steal” outfit photos that used to be in magazines. Look similar in pictures but a mile away from each other IRL. I guess it is a part of what you are saying, Sal, that how the fabric drape and the movement, and something like the subtle sheen, is not captured in photos. Photos are a good indication of whether we like a style or a style direction, proportions etc., but they do not tell the whole story.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Katerina, what an excellent point about fabrication. SO true.

Nodding with Rachy and TG, too.

LaPed

Veteran

TG, I totally agree with you re: Instagram make-up. People who go that heavy rarely look their best IRL, but a lot of people (especially young folks) care more about how they look onscreen than face-to-face. Priorities are shifting and I do think it changes how people dress and how we think about personal style.

Sal

Veteran

Suz I agree about the balance. In some settings I dress for flattery - others more with a nod to being fashion forward.

Rachy - I agree - it is useful. I discount things due to length sometimes but that may not be an issue.

TG - yes I know what you mean about some makeup. I do wonder how the heavily contoured look IRL. With flattery we have our own "sensitive spots" that we might always try and conceal or enhance - others sometimes don't even notice.

Katerina - yes!! Luxe fabrics like silk or satin sometimes don't photograph well - nor does linen to my mind. And yet that texture is what makes an item.

And to all - yes - how we feel is important. Some outfits do work in theory but not on us. I have put up WIW that people have complimented but that I have never repeated......because they don't feel right to me. And vice versa!!

Anonymous

I have a rather tortured relationship with flattery, and JFE. I often say that I cannot "afford* to wear something JFE because I don't have enough overall to work with (looks wise) to offset weird silhouettes and anything not traditionally flattering. But then, I get annoyed and emotionally exhausted worrying about this stuff, and occasionally say - scr** it, I'm wearing it. But then the pattern repeats. I'm usually taken aback by photos of myself and horrified by how I look in group photos etc. That's when the whole cycle repeats itself. I do know that I present as less chunky in person than I do in photos - but that's due to the things that Suz mentioned about quality of photos.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Oh good heavens, YES to all the musings on this thread so far.

Just look at how bad the light and equipment is when I take photos with my phone in the mirror at home for the forum, versus when Greg would take them in perfect light with the best camera and lenses back when we did outfit posts. It’s chalk and cheese.

Moving in an outfit always makes it look a lot better. Stationary and stiff poses do not do the looks justice.

Even with the best tools, models and conditions, black does not photograph well, and neither does flat or shiny fabric.

I do think we are living in an era where what you look like and how you project yourself onscreen is more important than pukka in person. Unbelievable isn’t it! My mind boggles with that one.

As for figure flattery - it’s personal, subjective, and evolving. It’s all about having your own set of figure flattering priorities, and running with them.

nemosmom

Veteran

Nodding along with everyone here. There are MANY times I take a photo of an outfit I feel AWESOME in, then look at it thinking, "what the heck is THAT?! Did I leave the house like this??!" And there are others where hubs will say, "you look nice today", and my mind is boggled.

I think confidence is everything - if you feel like you're rockin' it, then you probably are!

Irina

Veteran

I remember looking at myself in the photo wearing an outfit that tried before and thought it looked elegant. In the photo I looked horrible with my arms folded and jacket bunched in the wrong places. I wondered how could I think it looks good? Then I consoled myself that it is the light, the pose and such
I always have a dilemma with my makeup. IRL I wear a minimal makeup, in the photos it looks like I don’t wear any. Convinced that I should wear more, I do and feel overdone and uncomfortable. So, forget it, I dress and I apply makeup for a real life, I’m not an influencer or a model. I don’t wear conventionally flattering clothes, it is my choice, this is how I express my individuality. Some outfits in the photos I like and some I don’t for a number of reasons. Good one happened mostly by a coincidence - good pose, great light, movement. Fortunately, very little of my life is photographed:)

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Lots of intriguing thoughts. I like to take my pictures in a consistent place (I have found one right outside my door, or else my smudgey mirror selfies), and pose so I can see how my outfits are working one relative to the other. I have learned to accept that the first time I see myself I will be hyper critical and don't really like anything for a few days. As for figure flattery, my nature is so much more to cover flaws than to enhance assets. I am working on that all the time.

Helena

Veteran

The interesting flipside (which is not an original thought in this thread, it just became very clarified to me and need to articulate in words), is that sometimes the outfit that LOOKS great on camera does not feel great. My best WIWs are not my best oufits irl, and truth be told, sometimes I remove some of what made it an interesting outfit on camera, because it feels 'too much' (for me) irl. So to Angie's point, it's almost like we as a society are being presented a choice - what's going to matter more, our digital image or our real life experience?!? But it is sadly and shockingly counter-cultural, in a way, to value the real thing over the Insta-snap. So vive la resistance!!

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Helena, I'm nodding along!

Christina F.

Veteran

Ooooh, I must be one of the people you mean. So, accordingly, I have thoughts. *ahem*

I think Helena's comment about how the guidelines "assume flattery = skinny" is exactly the conclusion I've come to. I think with most guidelines for figure flattery, we've internalized some kind of idealized standard for our figures. Once I realized that, I stopped giving a BLEEP.... to some extent. I'm still sensitive about a couple of areas of my body and try not to highlight them. I don't want to wear anything actively unflattering, for sure. But I no longer care if my outfits make me look taller or skinnier.

SO FREEING.

As for the photo side of things, I love this observation because it's true. There are plenty of times when I feel I look great in real life, but the photos are meh. I mostly only take them to assess them against each other, and to share my outfits with you all, which I think of as a form of sharing ideas.

Bijou

Veteran

Sal, this is a fun thread and I agree with the comments above.

What is flattering seems to be a moving target. I can remember when low rise jeans were fashionable, I was shocked to think how high rise I wore my jeans in the late 90's. Now that high rises have come back, I have purged my low rise jeans. So what is the MOST FLATTERING rise? I don't think there is an absolute, it is just that as fashion changes, so too does our view of what is flattering.

I try to feel good in what I am wearing. If I don't feel good, I take a photo and try to diagnose what the issue is. I do find photos useful in this regard. For me, I feel my best in conventionally flattering clothing.

Barbara Diane

Veteran

For me, JFE is that I don’t want to wear something that makes me look 60 pounds heavier, which some outfits do. I have an acceptable range-I’m sometimes willing to wear items that are fun, or for a change, etc. even if I look a little bigger.
Occasionally I am surprised by how I look in a photo of an outfit I felt great in, but usually it’s an odd angle.
Photos, mirrors, and DH are my JFE checks.

Roxanna

Veteran

I'm finding this thread so interesting and relevant. It speaks to Angie's post today - most of the outfits she shared wouldn't photograph well on us mere mortals, or even look conventionally flattering IRL, but the movement, personality, detail and textured within them would make them slam dunks.

This is an interesting thought - as you know I started taking daily photos to identify what looks good on me and while this has been a generally worthwhile exercise (stopped me from buying a bunch of stuff that I rationalized looked good just because I wanted something new), sometimes it's nice to not give a damn about the mirror and try something new. I might try this.

TG - SO agree with you re: IG makeup. We took a friends trip to Ottawa with our families and ended up at Denny's for dinner - and there was a table behind us of 17 yos with the most Kardashian made-up faces you can imagine. It looked so incongruous. My best friend, who is an emerg doc, remarked that she saw girls made up like this all the time - even at the hospital - and that it made her sad because they all aspired to look exactly the same.

Also hear you about an outfit looking good for the camera but too much for real life!

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

“ sometimes the outfit that LOOKS great on camera does not feel great.“
Yes, but otoh I remember posting an outfit that didn’t feel great at all. Krishna roux broke that puppy down into all sorts of great elements, pointing out things in the pic that I hadn’t noticed irl. In the end, I wanted to wear it again, even off-camera.

Bijou, having been on both sides, I think it’s a very different thing when you are trying to change/emphasize something about your body vs when you are basically happy with the way you look naked.

About the flattery = skinny equation and shoulders, it’s funny that some see broad shoulders as a problem but for others they offset a waist, so create an impression of skinniness in another part of the body. Idk if this is why I like having broad shoulders and would like to get mine back to square. I just recall how surprised I was the first time I saw Angie mention broad shoulders as something to be distracted from or minimized with sartorial optical illusions. Maybe it’s just because I came of age in the 80s, the era of BIG shoulder pads, lol.

I’ll admit that so far I don’t find the pix terribly helpful, other than for showing you guys. Usually what I note is not a problem with the outfit per se, but more the sort of thing Irina mentioned—the way I’m standing or holding something makes something bunch up, or because of the hyper perspective on my phone’s camera lens, the part that’s just a little further away looks tiny. These are problems with the picture, not the outfit.

Sara L.

Veteran

I take outfit photos every day (except weekends when I usually forget) but I don't look at them until several hours later so they don't affect what I'm wearing. Meaning I can't look at the photo and change if it looks bad because I'm already out of the house at that point. If the photos are bad, but I feel good, I generally blame the photo. Seeing something in 3D and moving makes a big difference. I like to have a record of my outfits but I pay more attention to how an outfit feels and looks in the mirror than the photo.

Jenni NZ

Veteran

The thought I have is that I will never look like a model no matter what I do. I have had more than one model as a patient. The most successful of these has been successful internationally. In photos she looks astounding. She is just under 6 feet and IRL I at nearly a foot shorter than that felt like a dwarf with a giraffe in the room. This is not a criticism of the body type of either of us. It’s just saying that it is no wonder I can never look like she would in clothing. The most important thing to me is how I FEEL in the outfit, but I do think photos taken mainly for YLF or sometimes for my own reference have helped me to decide on where some item of clothing is LESS flattering than some of my other things. I still wonder who the old woman in the mirror is.

Anonymous

Photos really don't tell the story at all. Angles, changes of light/shadow, and filters will make things look very different than real life. We're not 2D beings!

Staysfit

Veteran

I appreciate the perspective that a photo brings when I am assessing an outfit, but cannot rely on it for being “honest”. Since the “architecture“ and motion of a garment are important to my style finding ways to assess them in three dimensions is important, but also a feat similar to Sisyphus, always out of reach.... I suspect what others see is different than what I see. Perspective varies so much based on taste, regional customs, and a myriad of factors, that in the end relying on how something feels and the tidbits of information one can gather from two dimensional views, friends and family feedback, and integrating it to form an assessment seems the best way to proceed. In the end, I would probably choose to wear something I love regardless of whether it is conventionally flattering in a photo. If I feel happy with my outfit, my smile will be better, and that is the part of the picture I think will be most enduring over time.

Jenn

(website)

Veteran

My favorite LBD from Elizabeth Suzann photographs pretty horribly. Honestly, it's not great in the mirror either. In motion, though, it's fantastic, and feels just wonderful to wear.

That, I'll admit, is the exception for me. I confess to dressing for what appears great in photos more often than not. I think photos are a good part of why I'm drawn to embellished items and florals. I take a lot of staged photos that just show a little bit of textile--a sleeve or hem--and it's always nice to have something of interest there

Sal

Veteran

So many interesting thoughts here. I will add more later - but I am nodding along to them all.

Vildy

Veteran

I don't take photos of my outfits. The camera does lie - that's why there are so many guides to standing a certain way, leaving spaces, height of camera, etc, to "trick" the camera.

But also, there is the realization that any time there is a guide to looking "better" it inevitably translates to Taller, Thinner, Younger. I remember a college friend, @5'8" and an English major, remarking how "tall" seems necessary to be beautiful. All the heroines were described as tall. Well, it may be so but I'm 5' tall and was I going to disqualify myself from ever looking beautiful because of it? Was I going to inhabit a fairy tale or a Jane Austen novel? And tall relative to what standard? My family physician, who was shorter, described me as "tall". Go figure. And I'm sure all of these descriptors are also relative.

Anyway, I don't worry about how awful I might look in social photos.

Aren't most people who own the photos going to be most interested in how they and their loved ones look? Hey, if I look awful in photos, might I not get lots more invitations to provide contrast?

kellygirl

Veteran

@VIldy: You made me laugh. I love the concept of providing contrast!

Greyscale

Veteran

I worry very little about flattery (but I do worry about aesthetically appealing proportions, which is a different problem). But when I wear more conventionally flattering looks, sometimes people comment that I’ve lost weight and look great, when I’m exactly the same size. So, some of my clothing choices really do made me look larger. There is an actual cost to my JFE looks in how people perceive me, but also, I don’t really care.

I do find it odd that people comment about it to me.

Barbara Diane

Veteran

Yesterday I had my first experience (other than for a very special family event) where I took into consideration how I’d look in a photograph when getting dressed. Because I had not expected to be photographed with them before and when they took a photo I thought it was for personal use. Unfortunately I had not taken a photo or looked in the mirror before leaving the house., Not happy to see that it had been posted on Facebook (I found out when I received notice that a relative had commented on it).

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