I don't know. I've had LOADS of self-esteem issues in the past, and getting into fashion helped me overcome them. Then I lost weight (a fair amount) and buying fashion got so much easier and thus, more usual.

I'm not sure wether it's frivoulous or not, and as long as it makes me feel better about myself and more confident in front of other people, it's fine with me. I don't think I dress so well that people pay actual attention to it, but more to my happy smile.

PS: I have noticed, especially recently, a sort of obsession with outfit ideas, like if Angie writes a post on boyfriend jeans, it's all about boyfriend jeans for a week on the forums, and I feel that we all in the forum create a sort of need to consume because you are either in or out of it. That scares me a bit, but I think it happens in EVERY sphere. The new Apple store is opening soon in one of the main streets in Barcelona and people are taking photos of the fake façade they cover the real store with. Seriously. And I don't think they are even that techno-freak. That's us. We have everything we need so crave for things we don't need but feel like having.

A lot of thoughtful commentary going on here! GP you always bring up really interesting topics! I just want to say that a hobby "in moderation" brings both joy and stress relief. If it truly starts to make one feel guilty or stressed then a little self-examination is in order. Of course some of us can be made to feel that sense of guilt and stress because society or someone important in our lives doesn't value our hobby. That can't be helped, as people will have their own opinions. Fashion for me, is a way of letting others see who I think I am on the inside. It is also a way of respecting and loving myself enought to want to present myself well. I hope I don't sound preachy. I think you have a real gift for putting together beautiful outfits and I always enjoy seeing them.

I just saw this and wanted to add my 2 cents worth.

I have made this comment many times but it bears repeating at least to me. I came to this forum looking for a dress. I found so much more. I do not think I am self absorbed. I believe that I have become self aware. Whether or not I am having a stressful day I have the tools and the items in my wardrobe to look put together on the outside which gives me a confidence boost. In a world where women work full time raise children take care of a home. We tend to get lost or at least I did. I cannot stress about what other people think of my love for fashion because it is something I love and they do not have to have the same opinion. I hate golf but my husband loves it So that is fine.
Natalie keep enjoying fashion for you!

Wow, I am blown away by all the warm, thoughtful, supportive and insightful comments! I will come back and savor them over and over! So much food for thought.

Kirti--I really enjoy your blog and how creative you are at remixing your outfits. I too sometimes wish I wasn't such a perfectionist when it came to finding the right items. Then again, once I have everything together it does seem worth it to have only items that make you feel fab in your closet. It just takes a lot of work!

Jayne--I know, it seems like other hobbies like gardening or cooking are more "accepted" by others. You are right though, hobbies are obsessions by nature...you can't get really good at something without obsessing about it a little (or a lot!). And it's true, there is so much to learn from the internet now that we never had access to before.

Deborah, interesting that you chimed in about the reigious aspect because I do think the Bible has lots to say about vanity...maybe that is where the root of our cultural disapproval of focusing on fashion began? I think that is great that you can find a way to combine your two passions and do a lot of good!

Krish, I love your historical perspective! Yes, it seems like people have always been social, it's just that the means of expression and connectedness have become much more technological and online-based than before. I count you all as my "friends" even though I've never met you in real life...I still feel like I know you all really well because we hang out together online a lot! And thank you for saying that my WIW are helpful to you and others. I think that assuages my guilt that posting WIW's is not all about me showing off and fishing for compliments...I really do like it the most when people say that they learned something or were inspired by something I posted! I know I have learned so much from looking at yours and everyone else's WIWs!

Ramya, waving to fellow Asian nerd (hee hee!). In contrast to you I never paid much attention whatsoever to fashion. But like you I am enjoying it immensely now!

April--WNTW was one of the first shows that got me interested in fashion...I agree that it seems like it does wonders for the self confidence of the women featured on the show so that is a good thing!

Astrid, I agree, sometimes I long for the ease of not thinking about my clothes and just throwing them on. I'm hoping that as I get more experienced with putting together outfits and remixing, that I can get back to that easy phase, but instead what I throw on is always stylish and well put together!

Lyn67, I agree, everyone needs at least one hobby, otherwise there's no fun in life!

Shannon, I agree, real life and family always has to come first! I agree, you are a really creative person. Funnily enough I never considered myself a creative person AT ALL but now I'm finding out I just have to find something that interests me and I can learn to be more creative if I'm passionate about it!

Ruth, I really like what you said: "In a nutshell, as long as I'm not neglecting any of my personal and professional responsibilities, and as long as my family knows they will always be my #1 priority, and as long as I don't go into debt with the stuff I buy, I feel good about my fashion hobby/obsession!" I need to remember that one!

Jem, thanks for your appreciation! It really helps!

Manidipa, you are right, it never helps to be judgy about other people's fashion choices if you don't want to be judged yourself! I try not to judge others negatively whether they're interested in fashion or not. But I do have to admit a secret thrill when I see another "fashiony" person walking down the street!

Yes very wise Cheryl, life is short and we should always choose to be happy! I know seeing your smile always makes me smile in return!

Thank you qpswan! And i love that speech, it really made me laugh!

Angie, you are so good at what you do it seems effortless for you, second nature...you are like a 10th degree black belt master of fashion! I wish it could be one-tenth as easy for me someday, Sensei! Fashion is really fun for me, which is why I can't and don't want to stop doing it!

Rae, so true. You'd think the way I am posting and studying this subject so intensely, that I was trying to get an online degree from home...my MFA (master of fashion arts)!

IK, so true, everything changes and we shouldn't spend so much time worrying about what others think and more about how we feel inside!

Ruth, yes, those of us who try to dress well shouldn't be judged any more than those of us who want to live in comfy gear all the time.

Jamie, thanks. I'm glad you enjoy your passion--I do too!

Harmonica--thanks. Blogging and online communities really are the new way of connecting with the world.

JR, I agree with everything you said.

Diana, agree that the science world is sometimes biased against fashiony types who can be pegged as less brainy. We are changing that view that you can be brainy and beautiful, right?

Rae, very insightful. There are letters, then there are words, then there is poetry. There are garments, then there are outfits, and then there is fashion/style/art.

LaFrancaise, high five fellow Dr. Fashionista! Glad to know there are more out there!

MaryK, oooh, I wish I had the balls to put Fashionista on my resume! Own it!

Helen, your post really resonated with me. I think I am happiest when I hear that my posts have helped others...like on the mommy board, several moms said they were inspired by my transformation to join YLF and start dressing nicer themselves! I do volunteer at the community clinic but it's just more of the same day to day work for me, so it's not really "fun". However, I think am going to look into volunteering for Dress for Success like Claire. That way it'll combine my interest in fashion with my desire to help others out! I think it could be really fun if I can get the time to spare to do it! I will definitely look into it, thanks for the nudge!

Fern, yes, art and joy shouldn't be considered bad things at all!

Rachylou, you are a hoot!

Lemonade, fashion can be a double edged sword. It can give people loads of negative self esteem issues, but on the other hand when it makes you feel good and comfortable in your own skin and confident (like YLF has helped me with), then it's all for good! I do agree that we tend to obsess about the same things at the same time when Angie posts about it--hopefully not always feeling pressure to buy new things though! I've learned now that I don't have to jump on every bandwagon, as fun as it is to watch and see on others!

Meredith, I know I am open about this issue (maybe more than I should) and struggle with this a bit. My husband is actually very supportive of me overall. I think he's just scratching his head in puzzlement because he doesn't understand the attraction. We've previously always had shared hobbies and obsessions and so this is all a bit strange for him and something he's still trying to get used to especially since I've thrown myself into it with heedless abandon!

Debbie, I agree, moms tend to feel very guilty about taking me time. I am trying to work this out and find a balance that works for me and my family!

Thank you all so much for your words of wisdom and support! It means so much to me to be part of this wonderful community!

Natalie I count you as one of my friends too!

Okay, I don't want to make this a sexist thing, but it is hard not to. On the one hand, a woman is held up in the media and in society as only worthwhile if she has sex appeal. Second place is that she at least cares about her appearance or had not "let herself go" (I hate that expression). But on the other hand, a woman who cares about her appearance is considered "high maintenance" or shallow, and it is assumed that she doesn't care or think about anything of substance. A woman is damned if she does and damned if she doesn't.

Additionally, as far as hobbies go, a person rarely hears men criticize other men based on what they spent on golf or boating or shooting. They rarely whisper about the new set of clubs he bought. And for that matter, he rarely gets gossiped about or criticized for what he spent on his custom shoes or Italian briefcase or new Audi. Most men have a hobby that can be quite costly (even hunting can be VERY expenisve if a person wants all the newest toys), but that rarely generates judgement or contempt from women or from other men.

My point in all of this is that fashion is as valid an interest and hobby as is anything else. Women are judged for far more - in every aspect of their lives - than are men. Own your interests and don't apologize. As for using up time thinking about what you are wearing, you spend far less time thinking about it when you have a wardobe full of things that you feel confident and great in. That way, you are never wasting time tugging on a garment or worrying about how you look while you are doing other things.

Yay, thanks for the shout out for DFS Natalie. You would be great at it and they will gladly accept whatever time you have to give. Angie still dresses women at her chapter once a week with a good friend, it's their weekly 'tea date', and she has got to be one of the busiest women on the planet.

I read your post before going down to DFS to volunteer today. I left it up on my screen because I didn't have time to comment and I wanted to think about it. When I got home, I hit the refresh button and saw that you had created quite a discussion! I enjoyed reading all of the replies.

I remember learning in college about Maslow's hierarchy of human needs. Bear with me, it was a long time ago and I don't remember exactly, but there was a pyramid of human needs. When the most basic were met, then it was human nature to expound to the point where beauty and art become important, something you might not care about if you were starving. Clothing is both a basic need and also it can evolve into a higher art form. I've always been interested in it even at it's most basic level.

When we help the women at Dress for Success, we are giving them clothing that is a step above the "basic human needs" clothes that they've been in for a long time and it never ceases to amaze me what it does to give them hope--for their future and for turning their lives around. Time after time I see women stand up straight, look at themselves in the mirror, smile bashfully and say, "Wow! I look good!" All of the sudden, they own it, and there is no question that something as *frivolous* as fashion is going to help them be the person they need to be at their interview to get that desperately needed job.

Whether or not you actually get to volunteer, you are already helping your friends and you will have influence on the next generation of girls (your daughter).

Side note: There seems to be a running theme in fashion books (Parisian Chic, etc,) that I've read recently that while fashion is very important, appearing not to care about it is key for the Parisian a(or maybe chic women in general?). IDK. I wonder what that is all about? Maybe it has to do with spending a lot of time learning about it, and then pretending that it's all perfectly effortless, lol!

Everything in moderation. There's nothing inherently bad about an interest in fashion, and participating in this forum is fun (and often informative!) -- just as long as you don't let it take over your life.

Natalie, you have fashion flair and it shows! You also REALLY enjoy wearing your purchases! Don't give up the fun if that's what fashion and style is for you. Life is too short to NOT have fun. And thanks for the sweet words

@MaryK. YOU ROCK. Loved your comment.

@Debbie. Your comment warmed my heart.

I have read each and every response, which is rare for me. I am in awe of the eloquence of each one of you. I am rather simple, so I know I will fall short with my humble contribution.

Natalie, I believe it comes a point in time, in each and every person's life, where you have to realize that asking the world for acceptance of one's choices is of no relevance whatsoever. The only goal in life should be that of self acceptance. It is liberating to accept yourself, flaws and all. It was not until I forgave and accepted myself, that I stopped treating myself as if I was some broken, imperfect being, in need of constant improvement. It's ok to be vain, shallow and selfish sometimes, not ALL of the time. It was then, when the continuos introspection FINALLY stopped. I was my worst critic. I am not saying this is your case, I'm just sharing my " life experience" overall. Lol.

Also, I know this is such a canned response but life is so short to worry about what people think. Who cares if the world thinks you are vain? Opinions are like belly buttons, everyone has one. Further, I think that rationalizing each and every single action, choice or decision, is an exercise in futility and an agonizing task. Sometimes I do things "just because" and I'm ok with that.

My thoughts on fashion: Well, it is a hobby no one should be ashamed of. Like any other hobby, it can only lead to positives, if it is carried out responsibly and without placing a financial or emotional burden on yourself or your loved ones.

Don't worry about what people might think.