Moms re-entering workforce - advice?

Helena

Hi there, I am hoping I can tap into some of the collective wisdom and advice of the group.

I've been home from work for close to ten years with the babes, and just starting to think about returning to work in some capacity. In a perfect world, I would be able to find something part-time during the school day so that I could still do drop-offs and all that stuff, but recognize that I will have to be flexible (I am in the extremely lucky position of not needing to work, so I can be fairly picky though).

In any case, I've been stuck in the cycle of, well if I work part-time and then I need childcare, the work basically pays for the child care and the net is zero except a busier schedule. EXCEPT for the fact that, I have to start somewhere, and this may be the price for a while, if the employer and opportunity were right.

So, all that to say - has anyone experience with this dilemma and how did you manage? How do you balance the costs of working against the benefits? I'm a bit vague in what I'm asking; any thoughts or experiences you can share would be greatly appreciated Helena xx

10 years ago

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25 replies

Latest reply was from Helena

Jules

Veteran

For me my income was always greater than the cost of daycare, but what really pushed it over the edge was pension contributions (CPP and company pension) and even more so, maintaining my skills and good position in a fast-moving industry - I knew I could likely never get back in at the same pay grade. My grandmother and mother-in-law were both widowed suddenly in their 40s, so I personally feel that I need to be able to support myself and my children, while also recognizing that this is not a fear or value that everyone has. Finally, although my husband has good benefits, nothing is covered 100%, so the extra dental/ortho coverage I provide has value as well.
Obviously your situation and priorities are going to be different, but when doing the math, do not forget tax deductions for daycare, CPP contributions, and benefits package. On the other side of the argument there is the new income splitting benefit and costs of working such as transportation and clothing.

10 years ago

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

FWIW Helena, these are my experiences with friends.

The part time thing is SOOOO hard and tricky in the US (don't know about Canada). Companies seldom offer the option and you end up working more hours anyway but without the benefits. Part time jobs are MUCH easier to get in Europe because of the regulated 35hr work week in places like France.

My SAHM friends who re-entered the work market after many years at home all wanted the same part-time thing as you, but were unsuccessful. Some continued staying at home. Some went back to school. Some went back to work full time. And some started volunteering at non-profits, and their positions became permanent and paid.

I really hope that the part time thing is better in Canada, and best of luck.

10 years ago

Helena

Veteran

Thanks Jules - great points. I agree with you, as lucky and blessed as we are financially, I think I should have the means to keep things going if God forbid I ever had to ... not to mention my husband might like to retire early after holding down the financial fort for so long, and I could take the reins for a few years when we get a little older!

Great thoughts around some of the less-obvious financial benefits ... thanks, much appreciated

10 years ago

Helena

Veteran

Thanks Angie, that is great to hear - both DH and I need to accept the limitations that are going to come with any choice. I am just scoping out the part-time scene, and it could be that it will be a flop; I will not be discouraged if this is the case, but based on what you are saying, it could be that this is just the nature of the working world in this day and age, and we can re-assess what makes sense. Thanks also for saying some of your friends end of staying home - we've had things come up in the past where this really did make the most sense, but I do tend to feel like a bit of a spoiled brat staying home - good to hear others also find it just makes more sense sometimes!

Much appreciated! xx

10 years ago

catgirl

Veteran

I've always felt that the ideal in this situation was to work at your children's school - what type of work are you seeking? At my DS's school the secretaries are parents of kids who go there, and some of the part-time helpers are as well.

10 years ago

Helena

Veteran

Alaskagirl, thx ... I actually applied to the school board today. It might be hard to get my kids exact school but at least the hours would be similar andnid have summers off, which would save a fortune in childcare (not to mention support plenty of quality time). Great to hear this is working for folks you know! Thanks!

10 years ago

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

What about starting your own small service business of some sort?

10 years ago

Helena

Veteran

Texstyle, I don't know that I am entrepreneurial enough ... Or skilled enough at anything!! I have lots of office experience on a variety of areas, but no speciality thx so much!! Have you ever tried this?

10 years ago

rachylou

Veteran

Working at a school is a great idea. From the employer side of things, it's really tough. We've lost a couple of people at the bakery because of childcare unaffordability. It works for some because of the benefits but not all.

10 years ago

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Helena, did you work before having your kids, and if so, what did you do?

10 years ago

Helena

Veteran

I did; I started in administrative support and worked my way into some different marketing roles. My last job was as a client manager at a database outsourcing firm. I did quite well; it's just I was a bit of a jack of all trades, master of none - which unfortunately does not stand the test of time very well. Also, I don't think I could go back to the long hours and long commute - I'd never see my kids. I'm quite prepared to lower my aspirations in exchange for a good work life balance. Sorry for the ramble!

10 years ago

Aziraphale

Veteran

Here's how I look at it, cost-wise: even if your salary and the cost of daycare cancel each other out, you are still developing your professional skills if you go to work. As an intelligent and educated woman, you may want to use these skills (or learn new ones). It's good for the mind and the soul, and, for some women, it provides a sense of security. Knowing you could support your family if need be is a great confidence-booster.

What Angie says about part-time work being more difficult to find is probably almost as true in Canada as the US. The only working parents I know who were able to negotiate a part-time position are teachers, because they can job-share. Even the school secretary has to be full-time. (Although perhaps the teachers aides don't? I know there is a two-year training course to be a teacher's aide, though). I don't know much about office work, I'm afraid -- perhaps there are more part-time opportunities there?

The other thing you could do is start out in a volunteer position that may lead to paid work.

10 years ago

Adelfa

Veteran

I eased back into the workforce by going to school to get my Master's. Most of my classes were while the girls were in school. Then when I finished I was able to find part-time work for a few years, but that option is much less available now. Good luck!

10 years ago

Helen11

Veteran

I second the idea of volunteering, especially at school (if you don't already) as a way of updating your work skills, and for being in the right place when paid roles come up. Good luck!

10 years ago

AndiB

Veteran

As the executive director of a non profit, and pretty in touch with industry standards, I'm seeing a major shift in an openess to part timers. The younger workforce of today is very different than the boomers, and demand a better work life balance. This often plays out in flex time (albiet full time) schedules, but part time work is out there. I've always been very independent, and only quit a full time job when I had twins 18 months after my first daughter was born. (I went part time after my first dauther was born, at a government job, beleive me I was floored when they said yes). after the twins I quit altogether, for myriad reasons, including one of my twins was very sick for her first three years, but also, yes, the cost of day care (for three, and spaced so close together it was going to be an expense for almost 4 more years, 4 years of working pretty much to pay day care, even one less kid would have made that different.) I also throughout my career volunteered for my professional association (the one I now run, you can see where this is going) but volunteering in an industry is a great way to get your foot back inthe door, but do it somewhere you'd either want to work, or is realted to the profession you want to return to (or a new one if that is what you want). I have two part time staffers with young kinds, and they flex their schedule all the time, but so do I, even though I have one a college, I have two at home still, and I never knew how much I'd need to continue to flex my time for kids this age! You don't know til you know. but I am paying it forward to all my staff, for the boss that let me go part time long ago, and the next boss who offered me part time work after I'd been home a couple years (the man who ran the association I volunteered for and now run). I'm just saying you never know, but getting back out there is fun, engaging, and energizing.

10 years ago

Helena

Veteran

I really appreciate everyone's input. AndiB, if only I could find someone like you locally! I do some volunteer work, and have just reached out to one additional organization who is looking for administrative support on a volunteer basis - one never knows, and it expands my local network at the worst. I had a great chat with DH, who is so supportive of whatever I want to do, and he reminded me that I should not be afraid to define my parameters and then wait until the right employer comes along, as at this point we really do have a good system going; it doesn't make sense to shake it up unless it is a) positioning us better for the future, or b) giving me a real sense of fulfillment. I can't stress enough how grateful I am to have the "problem" I have. Thx all; so appreciate

10 years ago

Jules

Veteran

Just to note that having the ability to work from home is a whole new factor as well. I end up working just as many hours, but I can do morning drop-off and be online working at 9am, and I know parents whose kids are old enough to walk home after school and be quiet and undemanding until 5pm. And no long commute!

9 years ago

Echo

Veteran

Depending on the area you want to get back into, working at your children's school in the meantime might be ideal. I did substitute teaching for a while. Most districts are in desperate need of subs, and depending on the state you are in, getting certification can be relatively easy (in my state you simply need a college degree and a one-day seminar). That would allow you to work the same hours as your children and take off days you needed to do other things.

After several years of subbing, I took a full-time position in my children's school. I have their same hours and vacations, with breaks in the winter, spring and summer. I do not have benefits, as I am technically part-time, but I do get paid personal days off as well as paid sick days for myself or family.

My job isn't what I went to school for, but I find teaching to be very fulfilling. My having a job is not necessary, and the same hours as my children is required for me (DH travels quite a bit for work), so working in the school system is ideal.

9 years ago

Aquamarine

Veteran

Also look into temp agencies as a way to test the water in different organizations. You can take temp jobs that work for you, and not work In the summer so you can be with your children.

I agree there is part time work out there, as well as work from home, although that might be more difficult in administrative support roles. Also, smaller companies/women-owned businesses may have more part-time options and be more flexible than big companies.

I returned to work in a flexible, part-time professional role after 20 years at home. I expect I will eventually go full-time, but for now it's great to get the experience back on my resume. It can be done.

9 years ago

ClaraT

Veteran

The happiest part-timers I know work:

1. A school-related job (say as a specialist teacher e.g. ESL or as a classroom aide or in the office)
2. At home doing contract work e.g. technical editing or writing or graphic design or web design
3. Mornings or until mid-afternoon in an office (administration)
4. In gyms or studios--teaching yoga or barre or leading spin classes

Since you have some freedom now, it is also a great time to update your skills with a class, whether online or (preferably) through a university or university extension program (so you can make contacts in the field you are interested in). Think about what you want in 5 or 10 years (I know! it's hard! but time goes by fast...) and then think about what could get you there. What do you love? What makes you happy? (finishing a project? putting on an event? working at your computer?)

Volunteering is also a great way to get to know a field--work might start out as filing, but pretty soon you'll know how the organization and industry work, too, an options will open up. Have fun!

9 years ago

elpgal

Veteran

SAHMs who went back to work include admin assistant/do-everything person for a home-based business, library reference desk person, scientist who went to work as a technical editor for a journal, telecommuting tech programmer and a Rodan&Fields rep. In every case, it took them a while to get to these positions.

9 years ago

Anonymous

I went back to work part time when my DD was 7 years old. Luckily, I was able to do a job share with another woman at a medical education company working in the accounting department. I worked 2 days a week from 9am to 3:30 pm and the other woman (also a mom) worked the other 3 days from 9 to 2. If I needed to come in another day because of increased workload there was never a problem, plus the other mom and I could always cover for one another when needed.

This company was also very nice in letting our kids come in on days they had off from school. They usually spent time in an empty conference room, but many times we put them to work to clean up the coffee station and do some copying for us and deliver the mail throughout the office (kids ranged in ages from 6 through 11).

9 years ago

unfrumped

Veteran

This is such a great topic and there are so many "if's" that I think you're just getting a good feel of how many factors you might consider, and staying open to the right combination.

I'm in the camp of one who tried to work part-time for awhile and found the work was just not designed to have any real boundaries, so I went back full-time.
Another consideration has a lot to do with age of kids and whether you need special child care that has to be arranged, or can use after-school care that is available in many public schools, and then decide what days it's needed.
Those play into the idea of, some jobs that are full-time could have really predicable 8-5 hours, no nights and weekends, and so you can develop a routine even though you may wish you could pick up kids earlier. Still this is always a lot of work for the mom, and it's always good to know where a DH fits in regarding homework, fixing supper, and all that.
Similarly, part-time with predictable hours during school hours could be great, whereas, flexible is, well flexible but it depends on whether it's at your discretion vs has crunch times and also your abililty to focus time.
Then there is the eternal issue of quality of childcare --we did our best to avoid TV watching, need snack and physical activity after a school day, decide if the time in childcare works out okay to be all "down time" or if they start on homework, or how that is built into schedule, because then kids have 2 transitions--school to aftercare, then aftercare to home--and a lot of time can go into these transitions.

Then you got some great input on looking at why you go back to work--there might be less salary with one job but good re-entry skills and resume-building, or there might be medical benefits with another job.
And if the job does not require a wardrobe upgrade, then (shhh, YLF!) that is one area to scrimp on to maximize the $$ return on your time investment. Plus, I think many 2-career/job families increase spending on take-out, convenience foods, or just being too tired to do some of the brainwork behind economizing, so that's always a pitfall unless the math shows it works out with 2 incomes.

9 years ago

Jules

Veteran

Good point unfrumped - I definitely rationalize not worrying much about small budget tweaks because hey, we work hard, we're busy. Most working couples I know use a cleaning service as well. And we've definitely had periods of eating out for convenience.
I'm actually hoping to convince my husband to hire a house painter because it's pretty clear to me we'll never do it or start and have it half-done for years. He wants to think we can save money and be more self-sufficient but we just don't have time and energy for much outside work, kids and then what I feel is deserved rest & recreation time. We aren't the kind of people who enjoy household DIY as a hobby, I know some do.

9 years ago

Helena

Veteran

Jules and unfrumped, yes its so true ... In some ways you end up robbing Peter to pay Paul, as they say. There is truly no right answer! I really appreciate everyone's thoughts and wisdom. When I think of the amount of vitriol that flies around between women (most of it manufactured to troll for web traffic, I bet) on the whole work/home thing, its pretty amazing to have such diverse, nuanced and wise women to learn from.

9 years ago

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