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MOG dress dilemma

Irina

Veteran

I found a dress to wear to my son's wedding. I kind of like it. If I buy, I will have to alter it, it's too long and will have to be taken in around hips. I'm OK with investing in alterations. But the problem is that the dress is navy and the mother of the bride is also planning to wear navy. Her dress is sequin navy. Is it weird to wear a same color? I can't ask as I'm sure the MOB or the bride will be polite and kindly will tell to wear whatever I like.
What do you think?

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Dressing

20 replies

Latest reply was from Penny

njw

I am also an upcoming MOG. I think you could kindly ask the soon to be bride to please be honest with you on wearing a navy dress since her mom is wearing that color too...another alternative might be to show the bride to be several dresses you are considering and ask her her picks in order and see where she rates the navy dress.

A recent bride told me she thought the fact that both of the moms were wearing the same color family looked better in the pictures...had not thought of that and it is a good point.

GOOD LUCK

kecisme

I completely agree with njw. Matching moms (in different styles) is cool!

Elle

Veteran

Just ask the bride what colors she'd prefer to you to wear and oh, by the way, should navy be in that mix. Don't mention you've found a specific navy dress.

unfrumped

Veteran

Boy this so depends on whether the family involved are real ticky. I like asking about "acceptable " colors. Because, otherwise it's weird , as in, " I got my dress first, now you have to get something way different "
The other thing is, if you can tell that the fabrics are a lot different ( sequined vs not) and styles, and of course figure types, then you won't look like twins, for sure.
I think really you want to find a dress you feel lovely in for this special day.

Irina

Veteran

Thank you all. I asked the bride beforehand about the colors and was told to pick any dress or any color. I thought about more and I will dismiss this dress,. Our bride doesn't want her bridesmaids in matching dresses, I doubt she would want mothers to be in the same color.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Another big thumbs up for matching Mums.

cherylm

I am more concerned with your comment that I "kinda like it". I think you should keep searching, you should feel great at your son's wedding. The dresses are very different so I don't think the fact they are both navy is an issue. Navy is neutral enough that it doesn't jump out as matching.

minimalist

Veteran

I thought that color-matched matriarchs was the default?

The only thing I'd be careful about is taking up too much of the B&G's wedding-planning time and energy. And personally I wouldn't extrapolate from her preferences for bridesmaids' dresses.

As long as you feel good about what you wear and don't show up, SWF-style, with your hair cut and colored in exactly the same way as the MoB, you should be fine.

minimalist

Veteran

P.S. I really like that dress! How do you feel when it's on?

JuniperGreen

Veteran

I like the idea of moms coordinating. And your choice is lovely (and differs quite a lot in style from the MOB's choice, while also complementing it). Do show us the dress when it is tailored, or share your final choice!

Liz

Veteran

If you only "kind of" like it, then I'd hold out for something you feel really good in.

Irina

Veteran

Thank you, ladies. You are correct, I only "kind of " like the dress. I imagine how it will look altered , since it's one size too big. It is also long, which in itself not a big deal. But because it's cut for a regularly size and not petit, it would require reshaping the skirt. So, I'm unsure how I would like the result.
I wish I can find a dress I love but so far I only "kind of" like a couple.

JAileen

Veteran

I love that your future daughter in law is not worrying too much about the colors people wear. I hate the micromanaging some people engage in for the sake of their photo albums. She sounds like a keeper.

minimalist

Veteran

Oh, that sounds like a lot of alteration work.

Is there an option to have something custom made for you?

Irina

Veteran

I don't know any dressmakers. I take some of my clothes to an alteration service and the most complicated job they've done for me was a jacket shoulders alteration. Mostly they shorten sleeves and pants.
I have a second dress from the "kind of" list. My husband's opinion - I look like a flower girl in it. so, he doesn't care for it but agrees that I look good in it. I's my size at least.

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cherylm

How far off is the wedding? New stuff is coming out all the time. My Mom wore a dress she didn't really like at my wedding, every time she looks at the album she says " I didn't like that dress on me". Keep searching. I know the feeling of wanting to have the dress issue settled, maybe you can fine one from a retailer with a generous return policy to have one in the bag (i.e. Nordstorm) while you keep looking. Special day, it's worth it.

njw

Not sure of your budget and these dresses are pricey but absolutely beautiful:
http://www.terijon.com

Anonymous

Have you looked at Tadashi? They make a number of dresses in petite.
http://www.tadashishoji.com/?u.....oCaLTw_wcB

Irina

Veteran

I'll take a look, thanks!

Penny

Veteran

Completely agreed that you should love your dress and find the right one for you, and I think that coordinating with, matching the color of, or wearing something different from the MOB are all fine! From my perspective, it's nice to coordinate the level of formality (e.g., long vs. short), but other than that, it'll all look good in the couple of photos where the bride and groom will likely be between their respective sets of parents. Good luck with your search to find something in which you're happy and comfortable for the celebration.