In a sense I've dealt with Jenava's sort of upbringing and environment all my life, and in some milieus I inhabit, we seem to be going *backwards* as far as feminism goes, unfortunately.
I can't say I'm either modest or conservative in my leanings, and I usually enjoy throwing out a light challenge to the environmental norms --- BUT I actually do end up dressing a lot more modestly and conservatively than many others in my environment who can rely on a certain socio-economic advantage. For me, not enjoying those advantages or consciously opting out (more public transport and shank's mare, less private car and I don't drive anyway), part of the compromise is to do with safety --- my style of work and living (often alone at home, often on the road alone, sometimes in male-dominated spaces both public and semi-private) mean I'd rather not make my daily life riskier or more unpleasant than I can help. The police force in our capital, for example, demonstrably believes that women encourage 'attentions' through dress here, and 'rape' is rarely a 'real thing'.
I also don't dress sexy for all and sundry as a preference; when I do, it is... uh... more targeted towards specific individuals, I guess? (even if sometimes that individual is myself! like with the undergarments I sometimes choose and deliberately do NOT put on show).
Social and legal security and sanction are not so great here yet, except in small and specific circles, if you dress immodestly (and yeah, even when you don't, but 'immodesty' gets worse treatment still). You DO see those who dress with less supposed 'modesty' around me because they can get away with it in lifestyles where they are usually ensconced in the safety of a private vehicle; when in public spaces, they are often in a more 'upmarket' environment where security may be tighter (though even that is very gendered and not always supportive, so I personally find the wisdom of their choice questionable --- and no, they aren't usually doing it to challenge the norms but often from a mistaken belief of being safer where the disadvantaged demographics are less dominant or numerous).
Me, I'm not often seen in plunging necklines, sheer fabrications that will show much of my undergarments (though I do layer camisoles or slips and sheers regularly), shorter hemlines (anything above the knee is rare on me, excepting the occasional pair of shorts --- but even those don't go beyond my immediate neighbourhood, not even so far as the supermarket or mall, on the milk run or grocer). I'll wear more body-skimming silhouettes at times and often leave off the scarves so popular with us culturally as to be normative (over a maxi or jeans even!), so I'm not exactly 'modest' in the traditional sense, though. It's my 'comfort zone' between giving in to social pressures and being enough of a feminist to challenge them. (Heck, I went to a college where jeans were upsetting the senior boys, and the girls in my freshman and sophomore years dutifully came by to tell me so, to explain how it hurt them to hear me spoken of so and to request that I refrain from being quite so 'mod' at school!)
But it depends where I am or where I'm going, too. I'm unusual in not wearing boy-leg or skirted swimsuits at public pools here. I do wear strappy sundresses when I travel abroad or when at the more tourist-friendly beaches.
So it's subjective as well as relative.
