catgirl, it was so good to hear you haven't left! I'd have missed you. I know I'm a sporadic participator myself, but I've always greatly enjoyed your thoughtful, fire-starting (and often very funny) posts.

I wish you all the best in your endeavours. xo

All I can say is : wow. I read this post when you first put it up Sally, and pm'd you with a few updates on friends here at YLF. Then didn't read it again! What one misses when one's head is down at work ! I'm not at all presuming this discussion has anything to do with me, but I'm an off and on member for a whole bunch of reasons.

I do admit overly political posts turn me off - regardless of which side one is supporting or protesting against. My Facebook feed is already chock full of it, and there is only so much I can let in before I can't concentrate on my job or my life at hand. I'm not American , as you know, and although I care deeply about US politics, I have concerns here at home that take up my headspace too.

I also waver in my interest in fashion as a community project. Sometimes I'm into it and other times it's too frustrating to participate in . To be honest, I often feel I exist too low on Maslow's hierarchy of needs pyramid to have the ability to free up resources necessary for pursuing fashion as "fun". Most of the time it is anything but fun . Which of course begs the reason for participating in the first place!

I read Angie's blog everyday and comment there, and am now back tentatively tiptoeing through the forum and reading what interests me . I'm really glad you put up this thread as it's been interesting and informative to hear what people have had to say.

Aliona - if you are still reading this thread, I'd like to offer up a shoulder in solidarity and comfort. I just read that thread you mentioned, and am utterly appalled and offended. I think I may have had the same reaction as you , had I read it back then. For the record, I loved your photos, your style and your comments. I'm sorry you aren't here anymore .....:(

Ditto Aliona -- missing you and so many others who have posted here.

I posted on that thread too and now I wish I hadn't, because I feel you can only be misunderstood in a thread like that. For the record, I found a lot of the things that were said offensive too and I fear I might have contributed to that without meaning to. That said, I don't get why some people react as strongly to some threads as they do. Yes, YLF is a safe haven compared to other places on the internet, but there will always be people who don't mesh with me, in very different ways. And there will be posts and threads I could do without or that I'm not interested in. It's the nature of the beast. I get why some threads should be judged separately, like the thread mentioned by Aliona and others. But you can't prevent something like this happening from time to time. It's the Internet. And it's quite the achievement that this forum is as friendly and welcoming as it usually is. I guess it hurts more when you've come to expect this friendly atmosphere as the status quo...

I am struggling to keep up with the thread too but I agree it has been an important one.

Thanks Az, Lisa, Astrid, Suz for your comments and lovely feedback to Aliona and others.

We are all different, with different sensitivities, and we can all be guilty of writing something that can come across as entitled, or judgemental, or angry, or rude. That can happen with the best of friends or family too, so it is hardly surprising in an online community. It is a credit mostly to Angie, Greg and Inge that there are very few of these issues.

And if we do "stuff up" then say sorry.

I've been coming and going from the forum for almost seven years and I love love love that we can pop in and out seamlessly and without guilt.

Hey everyone! I posted a question in the forum today and was kind of surprised to look at my avatar and see that not one of my little badges was highlighted anymore! But that's what happens when you step out of the ring, I guess.

Two things took me away from YLF: the election, and the desire to spend less on clothing. As far as the election goes, from the sound of this thread, you all will be happy I left. My feelings are deep and strong about this election and I find it difficult not to express my POV. So, good thing I wasn't here. (Please know this is not said with any negativity. I recognize that not everyone wants to hear what I have to say.) Given my continuing feelings about the election, fashion has moved WAY down my priorities list, so I will likely be here only sporadically. But it's so nice to know I can pop back in.

And as for purchasing less, I do find that I have to regulate my time on YLF because I am so impressionable. I popped in once and popped out with Angie's beloved faux fur Cons. Popped in again and popped out with the Boden Catherines. So you see? I have to be careful.

Wishing you all the best. I'll see you from time to time.

Hi Sally and everyone! I'm another one who hasn't been around much for a while, although I have been lurking semi-regularly.

For me, the election was definitely part of it. The results hit me pretty hard, and I've been finding it hard to care about clothes and kind of feel like there are more important outlets right now for whatever energy/attention span I can muster up.

Another reason in my case is that, sometimes, reading the forum too regularly can highlight various flavors of insecurity that I have. And I know that's more my issue and not something I should expect other people to in any way cater to. But, when I find myself regularly composing various snarky/defensive things in my head that would not at all be conducive to anything useful and could probably come across harsher than I intend, it's probably good to step away. (I read That One Thread too and, while I see it as not remotely representative of the regular (lovely and supportive) YLF tone, I have to say it did bug me.) Time commitment is another issue in my case. I feel guilty being a sporadic poster who only posts or comments when I specifically need something, but being the kind of active, supportive forum member I want to be can involve enough time that it starts to be stressful. Which, again, is probably more my issue than anything else.

I also just want to say that I do hope the members who feel that they're in the minority politically stick around if they're comfortable with it. It may sound cheesy, but I believe that connecting with people with different perspectives in a friendly setting like this one, and seeing a bit about where they might be coming from, can really help to make the world a tiny bit less polarized.

Waving Hi to viva! Missed you but I totally understand. I have to really watch myself from wanting stuff just because I see it here too.

Hello everybody! I just want y'all to know that I *don't remember* any of you, hehe... that's because to me you're all always here! I'm talking to all y'alls constantly, what don't I know?

Thanks Traci - I agree, I like the feeling of being able to take breaks and check in when I want to. Nice to hear from you always:)

Viva - thanks for your post too. I think it is much less tempting being a long way from the US when it comes to the shopping. Being out of season and the risk from buying online and facing high return costs puts me off.... I too have strong feelings about the election, and it is not my country. It is all over the news here as well, all over my facebook feed, and a hot topic of discussion with friends. I always love your posts and sense of style so I hope you can pop in occasionally when you are wearing some thing you love to show us:)

Aubergine, thanks for your honest post. I agree with everything that you said. But I don't think you should feel guilty for only popping in sometimes, I think people are delighted to see you when you are here.

Thanks Texstyle and Rachy again...

popping in when I feel up to it , not so much posting of outfits since my sister passed in November. Sorting through her stuff and getting ready to put the condo up for sale now.

Today my brother is in hospital with heart problems, probably facing surgery very soon... not handling this well at all.

Tracey, you have had a difficult run. Posting fashion sometimes takes a back seat. Wishing your brother the best of luck.

Hi, here's my update! I was off for a while before the election - I've never considered YLF to be even remotely political and I'm absolutely sure that my politics would be at odds with many people here with whom I would happily discuss fashion.

I am off because a series of life events took me away from focusing on appearance. First, I had a baby who was not a great sleeper. Second, I took a job where I mostly worked from home - some days I don't wear anything more than loungewear. Third, I am the largest size I've been in my life, and it's demotivating as far as shopping or dressing myself with any kind of flair. And, lastly, we have bought a house and are pinching the budget so that we can afford to do needed work on it.

Not a main reason, but contributing lately, I was pregnant for a couple months and so preparing for the minimal wardrobe that pregnancy requires - I packed all my clothes that wouldn't fit into storage when we moved. Only to have a traumatic miscarriage a few days after moving. I'm lurking now, reading the blog, because wearing my "real" clothes actually is making me feel a little less sad. My job is also horrific at the moment and I'm searching for a new one frantically; one where I'll probably have to dress up and go in to an office which in the long run will probably reignite my interest in YLF...so I think I'm on my way back to participation. At the moment I'm more interested in the blog, as one-way reading seems to be easiest for me (as an introvert - rather severely an introvert at the moment).

Jenava, thanks for checking in. I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you have a great support network around you, but I've walked that road more than once, so feel free to pm me if you ever need to step out of the introvert shell. Looking forward to "seeing" you around the forum.

I'm sorry for your devastating loss, Jeneva. To be putting away normal clothes means you had lots of time to anticipate your child. Miscarriage is often a 'suffer in silence' situation.

Re: fashion
I always appreciate your WIW's and you have always looked beautiful. Motherhood only enhanced that. You have great individual style.

Jenava, I'm so sorry. Best of luck finding a new job.

Wow Jeneva, that is so tough. I am so sorry.

Jenava, sorry that you have had such a tough time. I had a miscarriage myself after my first son was born and I remember how physically and emotionally difficult it was.

Look forward to hearing from you when you are ready.

Aubergine - if you are still reading - I really relate to what you said.....about flavours of insecurity etc. Glad to hear I'm not alone. And Geneva - I am so sorry. What a terribly trying time. I don't know you, but I feel a lot of sympathy and empathy . I hope things turn around soon for you.

Sally, that's really sweet - thanks! And I have to say I really appreciate you starting this thread and keeping up with so many thoughtful responses.

Jenava and TraceyLiz, I'm so sorry to hear about the losses you've faced and am crossing my fingers for things to turn around for both of you.

Lisa, I feel, funnily enough from the little I know of you here, that you're way ahead of me on some of the (mainly exceedingly and boringly usual for a woman) things I feel insecure about. But I guess that's always the way, right? It is good to get the sense that I'm not the only one this resonates with.

Aub- you're probably right . I am a lot "worse" than most women, and I know I've been open here about how easily influenced I can be , and how inferior it makes me feel when I think I'm not up to par and start thinking I need to buy different clothes to make me better somehow. Sorry for lumping you in with me

Jenava and Tracey - hugs, man, hugs!

Oh, god, Lisa, I actually meant that you're thinner/fitter than me! And that you seem to know what you're doing fashion-wise in a way I can't quite aspire to. Didn't mean to sound insulting at all! I have some kind of amazing ability to not realize that things that sound perfectly clear in my head could be interpreted in a completely different way. Especially when I'm writing late at night.

I do appreciate how honest you are about things. It's kind of comforting and depressing at the same time to know I'm not the only one who struggles with feeling inferior to others.

catgirl: you’re missed! Maybe we’ll see some more of your awesome style again sometime, if not here then somewhere else. Keep rocking the razor-sharp ombre bob.

Aliona: I was concerned because I’d noticed you’d gone MIA, so I’m very relieved to see you. I hope you’ll be back to share your original and inspiring style with us soon.

Jenava, TracyLiz: so sorry you’re facing such challenges. lisap, Aubergine: I think everyone feels like that at times, I know I do. And I’m another on/off poster, so there’s that.

That Thread. Of course. Sigh. I don’t want to accuse the original poster of engaging in bad faith, but… well. You read it too. It was traumatic, but at the same time full of honesty, bravery, personal stories and important information.

Astrid, I don't think you need regret your contribution, because before it went off the rails it was just about the most constructive conversation I’ve seen on that delicate topic anywhere on the Internet. For all the hurt and upset it caused I'm sure some of us came out better informed while others had a change of heart or found a voice. These things only happen when people feel able to talk openly. It’s almost never easy and almost always worth it. No pain, no gain. A bit like life.

Jenava, I am so sorry to hear of all you've gone through. Please take good care of yourself. Hugs.

Aubergine - oh I am sorry , I can be somewhat literal in how I "hear" other's words. Yes, depressing and uplifting at the same time. lol>