Oh Cheryl, I am so mad at this guy *for* you! How dare he take your happy, colorful coat and all the warm fuzzy feelings you have when wearing it and turn it into a war zone?!! You are probably a better person than I, and the coat won't be ruined for you, but I certainly hope you wear it every day from here on out and give this guy the cold shoulder. Humph! <<hugs>>

Cheryl, tell him to keep his dumb comments to himself or your friend from Texas will come open up a can of whup-a** on him!

I love orange and hot pink, one of my favorite combos! Combined with your cute self, it sounds like coat nirvana to me!

I agree that you should cut off your long chats with him if you can. He clearly knew exactly what he was saying and calculated it to hurt your feelings, and was very clear in telling you that was what he was doing -- in effect, saying "I am going to hurt you, and you are going to take it". There is just no excuse for that, since he obviously did it on purpose, and I find it a bit alarming as well. Are you alone with him in the office? Is there someone else who can deal with him when he comes in? I don't think you owe him any explanation for cutting off contact, either.

Just a quick question, but is this guy a victim of a stroke (or similar?) That's a brain injury and people who have had one often lose their "filters". They don't mean to hurt anyone, they simply don't understand. My dad was that way during the last few years of his life, after strokes and brain surgeries. It WAS embarrassing sometimes, and we'd apologize if we were there, but in reality I'm sure he hurt peoples feelings without ever meaning to.

Although my Dad as a tough guy I had never in all my years seen him act that way until he had a stroke.

If that's the case please move on. He may think it makes you look "huge", but does his opinion really need to be what you think about yourself? You can't live your life (or buy your clothes) to suit anyone but yourself. If YOU love then we love it with you! Wear with pride and enjoy the color in the dull winter!

Besides, when did you start taking fashion advice from a man (that's not Tim Gunn or similar! LOL)

Your description of your puffer made me smile and think to myself, "It's so CHERYL!!!" Don't ever let that guy or anyone else ruin that coat for you. A black, brown, or other boring *slimming* color would make you so sad -- and who needs that? Wear your puffer with pride, warmth, and happiness!!!

1) Do you really get paid enough to deal with this person? I'd love to know what he's said to other people at your community center that's caused you to tell him he should mind what he says on other occasions. It sounds like since he is highly functional and his frontal lobe (which controls impulsiveness) is ok, so someone needs to put stricter limits on his behavior in no uncertain terms. You don't get paid to put up with verbal abuse and not everyone who he speaks to that way will have a whole community of women cheering them on. 2). Wear that coat with pride and ignore him unless and until he learns to speak to you appropriately. 3). Send a picture so we can all admire it!

It wasn't his place to say anything about your coat, or about anything else you wear for that matter. Don't let people like him ruin your day. Enjoy your coat!

Some people are just missing that filter that stops them from saying something they shouldn't.

First of all, I wouldn't take anything this person says to heart. This is not an opinion that matters or should even be taken into consideration.

Secondly, I would politely indicate to this person, if he can be reasoned with, that you had specifically told him not to say the mean comment and that by saying it anyway, he crossed boundaries in your relationship.

Thirdly, you love your coat and we could tell that by your happy description. Wear it, think of your Mom, be warm, and SMILE!

You've received great advise already, darling Cheryl.

I'm chiming in to say that it makes me angry when someone as sweet, upbeat and kind-hearted as you is hurt. I want to punch the lights out of the person who was rude to you.

*punch*

And many (((HUGS))) to you too. I'm sorry that your kindness was not appreciated. xoxo

I hope you are feeling better Queen Beautiful Smile and Queen Sequins.

Thank you so much everyone. I appreciate you all and your kind words of support and advice more than you can know. I have known him for years and am used to him but you are right, I will give him the cold shoulder and let him know I don't have to put up with his bad behavior.

He was in a car accident at 19, but he is aware of what he is saying and really doesn't have a filter, and he will use his handicap as an excuse for bad behavior.

Hugs to you all

Oh honey. I'm so sorry. There is already lots of good advice here, but I just wanted to say that puffers are called puffers because they're puffy. They make everyone look puffy! That guy's comment was just plain stupid. Ignore him. You and your coat are both fabulous.

Ugh. I feel like I know this guy. He's that guy, the one who feels he can only get women's attention by being an asshole and picking them apart. Do *not* give him the satisfaction of letting this affect how you feel about yourself or your coat!

Some people just love to spew venom because they can't bear to see others resplendent in their joy. Enjoy your coat -- if it brings you joy it belongs in your life. Why should you tone down your happiness (which is what the coat is really reflecting) just to please someone one who is obviously a bottomless pit of despair?

Nobody can be you better than you. Furthermore because he doesn't have your best interests at heart there is no way he can help you manifest the best vision of you with his "advice". Plus if you're not wearing a coat that is a positive reflection of who you believe yourself to be right now then who or what are you representing by not wearing it?

It takes a lot of courage to be an individual, congratulations on expressing your unique individuality. WEAR THE COAT!

Hey now! As Queen of Puffers I COMMAND you to wear that puffer! Please, if puffers were Spanx, they'd be called Spanx!

As a technical writer - paid to translate for the inarticulate and rude - this gentleman sounds like a lot of the people I work for and with. Neurological Tangle Detector is beeping.

That's a crappy thing to say; we all deal with a-holes at some point in this world. I agree that you don't need to spend your time and energy giving conversation to him if he sees fit to take joy from you. But above all, don't pay attention to the snide remarks of unimportant people in your life. Gives them power and their words weight that neither deserve. Continue to find joy in wearing your colorful coat!

Thank you all so very much. Big hugs! He was in today but I was busy with others and didn't make time to socialize with him today. He got the picture! I do appreciate all of your wonderful advice.