Low key freaking out - YouLookFab Forum

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Low key freaking out

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I’m in a video shoot tomorrow. I hate hate hate being in front of a camera, especially video. Did I mention I hate it? I saw test footage from last week and I look frumpy, pudgy, and old. I was wearing black Athleta cropped Brooklyn pants and a plaid shirt, typical of my “walking around photographing” wear. It was pretty darn unflattering on camera. And oh my god, my neck and chin in profile are, ugh, I just cannot even look.

I’m trying to forget how I look and simply concentrate on the content that I’m sharing, because that’s what’s really important, but I confess this has shaken my confidence.

The shoot is outdoors, in the harsh light of day, but hopefully not bright sunlight. Temps will be warm but I’m hoping we’ll wrap before it gets so warm that I start sweating. I’ll have my camera slung across my body, the way I normally carry it, to demonstrate some things, which doesn’t help flattery. And we are poking around rusty, possibly oily surfaces of train cars, so I can’t wear anything I might worry about staining.

I am thinking of perhaps wearing full length pants instead, for a little more flattery factor, and praying that doesn’t make me too hot. I prefer to cover my arms on camera too, but I’m realizing that I don’t have much in the way of summer-weight, arm-covering solid-color shirts that are neat enough on camera. Everything looks sloppy and wrinkled. I’m quite sure there’s not enough time to shop for something today. And I sure don’t have time for a facelift before tomorrow, LOL. I’m actually kind of regretting agreeing to do this project, even though it’s an honor.

Anybody have some good advice for helping me off the ledge here? I’m going to be extra attentive to hair and makeup tomorrow morning, and try to be mindful of camera angles and controlling my facial expressions, which tend to look exaggerated on camera. But I need to seriously find some peace and confidence in the next 24 hours, somehow. I welcome suggestions.

Dressing

55 replies

Latest reply was from Lana

Aquamarine

Veteran

Are sunglasses ok? I recently saw some closeup photos of myself outdoors taken by my daughter and was HORRIFIED at the wrinkles and imperfections that I don’t see in the mirror. Nice big sunnies hide a lot!

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I thought of that, but since I’m looking at photographic subjects while being interviewed, it may be hard to see what I need to with sunglasses on (mine are prescription with progressive lenses but I still often take them off to photograph because the coating makes it hard to see my camera’s view screen). I had my regular glasses on for part of the test shoot, and those don’t look bad, but I tend to fiddle with them, taking them on and off to see better, pushing them up on my head, etc. I’m actually thinking about leaving my glasses off entirely for this.

Helena

Veteran

Janet, not that this will help but it bears repeating - you are STUNNING. Full stop.

Now onto something that might be helpful ... Most people watching this will be paying attention to your face. Do you have any strong blue top that will fit the bill ... Any at all! Blue is such a power colour for you, your eyes light up and it's just beautiful with your skin. I think colour is the most powerful tool one has on camera. Plus a bright colour will again focus attention to your face so then you don't need to worry as much about your lower half. Then with your hair and makeup done, you've got most of it covered. I'll leave angles etc to someone else as I suck at posing!

Indigoprint

Veteran

Do you have a long sleeve chambray shirt? Even if it got a stain, you could probably get it out. A blue one would look especially good with your eyes(sans sunglasses!)

Runcarla

Veteran

What Helena said. Maybe a column of colour and a neckerchief in your best colour. I’d also have a frank discussion with the videographer about your concerns. They should know all the tricks for angles and lights, and possibly be able to apply a filter without distorting the material you are trying to present.

You’ve posted some great head shots here, like when you got new glasses. https://youlookfab.com/welookf.....pecs-today Look at them for winning combinations.

Folks will be tuning in to watch a master at work. Show them the love and joy you have for the subject. You can do this, Janet!

Helena

Veteran

Janet, just going back to some of your summer WIWs, you seem to have two sort of royal blue v-neck fluid summer tops ... one was a washable silk and not sure about the other ... not sure if they are too dressy, but they both look very flattering!

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Aw Helena, you are so sweet. But I post still photos of me here, from better angles. Video is so much harsher.

IP, I no longer have any chambray shirts — I just wasn’t wearing them anymore.

If at all possible, maybe I can get away with wearing my new blue jacket over a light tank top. I’m praying for it to be cool and cloudy enough to do that.

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Sisi

Veteran

Janet, you are hilarious! I agree with Helena and Runcarla. You are too hard to yourself. I bet you will look fab!

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Hey, and my sincerest thanks for the helpful and encouraging responses. I admit my emotional state has been hugely on edge since Friday, and it’s affecting my enthusiasm for this project. I need to get lost in something positive today!

And in all seriousness, I may be scheduling a consult with a cosmetic specialist/surgeon — I was already self-conscious about my neck/chin and now it’s even worse.

Helena

Veteran

Oh yes that jacket would be perfect! Praying for clouds!!!!

I stand by my declaration though - I don't think you realize how gorgeous you are. You are focusing on your flaws but most people are going to see your beautiful eyes, stunning bone structure and artistic style. X

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Janet, you are beautiful and gorgeous! I echo, Helena 100%!

Can you wear a sleeved dress, maybe? Cooler.

If it's outside - your new sunnies are a great idea! If you can manage the cobalt jacket - yes to that over a tank top. White is very good on you! Solid contrast is great on camera. Beware of flat black. Not great on camera. Contrasted is good.

I have a client who is on tv all the time, and help her with what to wear. I'll be back later with more tips.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Angie, you are too sweet too!

I only have two sleeved dresses and they are not for casual summer wear, sadly.

I worry about white on camera — too bright? I have white shirts but not sure that’s a good idea with dirty subjects/location.

I may take a couple of different top options in case mood/conditions change. Wondering about old black hiking pants vs dark wash jeans.

Column

Veteran

As one with a former video career:

1. Take cues from folks always on camera. There is a reason why Duchess Kate and TV anchors wear solid flattering colors in often narrow, elongating shapes or extremely low-contrast separates. She chooses highest heels, longest pants, often narrow skirts. See which of those you can put together.

2. Color is EVERYTHING on the face. Choose your best! If you do well in contrast, choose Angie`s suggestion to have it around your face in tops, big earrings, necklaces. A colored or patterned scarf might do it and give you neck confidence.

3. Lighting is even more important than color! Insist videographers light you the way you light your subjects: in front, from side or on an angle, not behind.

4. Angle makes all the weighty difference. Demand photographer be above you and shoot down—you know this; just advocate for yourself!

5. Be sure to highlight nose bridge, cheekbones and just below. AOC has this one down; it makes all the difference in facial structure!

And before you undergo the knife, give it some time, Janet. Like hearing our voices recorded, we can get used to ourselves on video.

Lastly, enjoy your success! As Helen said, viewers will be interested in your expertise, which no one can sully! Share with us afterward, please! Good luck!

catherine

Veteran

No advice for what to wear here, as I am certainly no expert. You look lovely in every photo I have seen.
Having said that, I’m sorry to hear that you are feeling insecure about how you look. It’s an absolute waste of energy, yet it comes to us all and seems nearly impossible to control.
Just sending good thoughts and admiration for your incredible talent.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I’m on the phone so it’s difficult to respond individually, but all your suggestions and comments are hugely appreciated.

Column, those are excellent suggestions, thank you. A lot of this will be out of my control, and we are filming a photo walk, so it’s really casual and the surroundings and the activity don’t lend themselves to super polished attire, heels, or other outfit ideas I would normally employ if the setting were indoors and more formal. It doesn’t help that I’m about 15 lbs over my ideal weight and feeling every bit of it right now too. The interviewer is about half my size, which makes me feel even more ungainly.

I suppose I should see all of this as an exercise in relinquishing control and embracing my growing invisibility as I age. I’m not very good at that, at the moment.

I would dearly love to wear a scarf (can I just cover my whole face with it, please? LOL), but I suspect it will be around 70 degrees when we begin, so a bit warm for that. I’m hoping it’s not humid, which is deadly for me. Oh shit, I should probably get some face powder today! Yikes, I don’t even know what to get.

Aquamarine

Veteran

Oh, I have the same type of sunglasses and yes, it’s difficult when taking photos etc. You’ve received some other good tips, however, and I hope they help with your confidence level. You’ve got this!

sarah

Veteran

I sympathize, and am also paying close attention, as I am going to be filmed later in the summer in a casual field research setting, and am starting to think about what to wear. First, you are being too hard on yourself. You are gorgeous, full stop. No more talk about emergency surgery! Second, I've also been told to avoid patterns and stick to solids and low-contrast clothing. I second (third?) the suggestion to talk with the videographer about what will work best under the conditions. Best of luck to you, and congratulations on the opportunity!

Suz

(website)

Veteran

First -- congratulations! This is a great honour and opportunity.

Also, nodding with Helena, Carla, Angie, and all those who say you are gorgeous! Of course you are feeling self-conscious -- who wouldn't? But you will shine if you wear a top in a colour that flatters you and once you let yourself get into the process of doing what you're in the film to do. As Carla said, what people are really going to pay attention to is your skill.

I do understand, though. I can't bear to re-watch my Zoom appearances at all, ever, so I never, ever do it. And that is Zoom, where at least I am sitting down and have some minor control of lighting. (Though not a lot, since I've never bought a ring light.) Ditto for those live taped events -- even worse! I pretend they don't exist.

Still, what I'll say is that mostly with videos of this kind that feature an artist in motion doing what they do best, the last thing I am thinking about is how they look, unless they look too distracting. I'm so much more interested in their process, in the surroundings, in what they are saying and showing.

cat2

Veteran

In a few years you will look back at this video and think how young and vibrant you look.

judy

Veteran

My husband said to me not long ago: "Well, just think, you'll never be younger than you are today!" It made me laugh. Because of course I can also obsess about some of the signs of aging...especially when I can see myself as others see me, say in a video...as opposed to posing in the mirror.

Lots of good clothing, lighting suggestions for what would flatter already in this thread. I just wanted to encourage you, and say that your expertise being shared and expressed will contribute to many. And remember you're gorgeous!

JAileen

Veteran

You are a beautiful woman. How can you not see that?

kkards

Veteran

Just want to say, congratulations on being chosen for this project

Peri

Veteran

I'm sure I'd be feeling the same way...that's to say I think it's totally normal. We are our own worst critics. We remember our younger selves when no one else really does. We judge based on what we think we should still look like and no one else has that perspective. We don't seem able to forgive ourselves for having lived X many years.

So seriously...people will be more interested in what you say. And whenever I see you I just think you are a rock star of coolness at any age. I don't think about age at all, just the major cool factor you bring to everything. People are going to see an artist who knows what she's talking about. Who would expect that artist to be a 20 year old model?

Love all the above more practical advice about what to wear and especially about talking to the video person since that is their area of expertise. Since they want the best video they are going to do their best for you. But above all, be proud! You are so capable of this!

slim cat

Veteran

You are beautiful and stunning - wear your "happy" colors and take enjoyment in the project ( hope you'll relax into it and just have a good time ).
I'm often disappointed seeing my photos or reading someone else' description of me - "woman with short grey hair" ( darn, it's not all grey and I still have some highlights visible - lol ).

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Column wrote most of what I was going to suggest! YAY! Thank you, Column. Much appreciated

To add to what was suggested, Janet:

Wear white and black ONLY as a contrast colour with something else, like a white tank top under the cobalt jacket. Black is good too.
Colour is key! Wear your best.
Lighting is VERY important. Take your cues from the videographer.
No patterns unless they are bold and clear. Nothing subtle and wishy-washy.
Nothing shiny and iridescent
Wear makeup. Greg shot professional video last week, and even HE wore make-up! People on camera wear a lot more make-up than we think.

Can you wear a statement necklace instead of a scarf?

Dear Janet, I understand the self-consciousness and insecurity. It is a very natural reaction! May I remind you that style, charisma, charm, and beauty are not an age or size. They are an energy, attitude and confidence that shines from within. THAT is what makes what we wear fabulous and memorable. SUM OF ITS PARTS. You will shine brightly on video because that is who you are! Enjoy it! CONGRATULATIONS

Gaylene

Veteran

Think about the above suggestions, try whatever seems reasonable and comfortable, refuse to worry about what you cannot control, and, most important, put your mental efforts towards reaching your goals for the intended audience.

Actually the last point is the most important one—you have been invited, not just to present, but to share because of your unique talent and passion for your subject. Suz said it to perfection: watching artists in their natural element, doing what they do best, is about inviting the viewer into a corner of the creative life. As long as you look like you are enjoying sharing that part of you with the audience, you’ll connect with your audience. And as long as that connection lasts, you’ll be beautiful to the viewers.

Let your enthusiasm show and, I guarantee, no one will care, much less remember, what you wore.

Anonymous

You are beautiful! Your art is worthy! Enjoy the moment

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nemosmom

Veteran

Awww Janet, please give yourself grace! You’ve gotten great tips above - I will add your confidence and smile will go a LONG way on video! Wear a color that makes you happy. You got this!!

CarolS

Veteran

Janet, I can so relate to the self-judgment and am constantly working on my own perceptions of myself.

Please remember that the viewers will see so much more than the aspects you are feeling in judgment of right now. They will see a beautiful, talented, intelligent artist. They will not be judging your weight or any other flaws that seem so 'obvious'' to your critical eye right now.

The other thing I try to remind myself is that when I look back in five or ten years, I will think how young I looked at this time when I felt insecure or 'less than'. I often wish I was as 'imperfect' now as I thought I was ten or twenty years ago!

I truly understand it takes work to get past those stinky, self sabotaging voices that tell us that how we look isn't good enough. It is. You have some great tips here to cast yourself in the most flattering light, but please know viewers will see you as a beautiful whole, even if the lighting or camera angles are not perfect.

I hope you have fun with this amazing opportunity!!

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