Great thread, Zap. I find that when I ask a very specific question in a WIW, I'm more likely to get detailed feedback. I'm a lot like Suz, still working my style out, and I have no one in my life who comments on what I wear either to praise or criticize.

Sometimes, I'm reticent to comment on another post because my POV might not be as sharp or valued as another forum member's. This is not to say that people are being dismissive, just that, for example, someone with an edgier style, might not need my comments as much as someone else's.

I've had less time for the forum in the last month, but I still enjoy and get a lot of inspiration from WIW -- and I try to comment as much as I can. As a voice teacher, I've learned that specific, detailed feedback is so much more useful than general praise, so I try to be as specific as possible. Gotta run.....I'm sewing an evening skirt and coloring my hair simultaneously. And yes, I hope to post a WIW with the results!

Oh, also, meant to add that while I do try to offer constructive criticism on WIW posts especially when it is asked for (i.e. if the poster asks what she can do to improve the outfit, or whether we like version A or version B, etc), I do refrain from commenting if it triggers my poison eye because I know I am not being objective then. (If you were reading my poison eye thread, now you know why I never comment on furry vest WIWs! It's not you, it's me.) On the other hand, if this is the case with a K/R post I will explicitly say I don't like it but will always qualify the statement by saying that I have a poison eye for it. Actually, no matter what the reason I always try to explain why I think an item is a Return.

P.S. I forgot to mention that I try to comment on all first WIW posts. I remember how nervous I was to push "submit" that first time. Everyone needs encouragement to jump in!

My commenting behavior:
- I always comment if I open and read the thread. It is not hard for me to come up with something positive or something that inspires me, even if that person's style is very different from my own for example more classic and conservative which my style isn't. If something could work better, I will pose a suggestion as an idea: "you could also try styling this item like this..." I also feel there is nothing wrong with saying, you look great! and leaving it at that.
- I don't have as much time to open as many WIWs as I used to! If I have not commented, it is because I have not opened your thread. Frankly I am overwhelmed by the amount of WIWs and feel bad that I am missing so many people's outfits.
- Influenced by the aforementioned issue, I personally group my outfits into one WIW a week or fortnight. Much as Aida or Sveta do. That way you only have to look at one WIW thread from me, not 5-10 covering the same period of time.

Why I post WIWs:
- to document my own style journey
- to participate in the forum
- to let people get to know me (people who do not post WIWs or at least K/Rs, I feel less connected to)
- to get feedback on something specific about the outfit -- for example I will ask, tucked or untucked?
- Unfortunately I *do* count replies and get competitive about this, as I see others' outfits getting more replies than mine. Then I feel I'm not measuring up or my style is moving out of sync with YLF. I know I shouldn't feel this way, just being honest, I'm only human and want to be loved like everyone else. LOL.

I apologize for being too tired to read all the comments - I am sure I am missing out on a great discussion here! Also... I think I've been missing your WIWs. I've been here less and at different times of day - I did not know you were posting them.

My two cents about missing out on negative feedback is that, since you are not interested in clothes as an extension of self, there is a limit to how much feedback the forum can give. You have a natural knack for color, proportion, and figure flattery - there isn't much negative to be said! And since you are fairly classic in your style, it's not like you try a new and wacky color/silhouette/print and struggle with styling it very often. On a purely aesthetic level, you know what works for you, and I think we all see that reflected in your outfits.

That said, I know a chorus of love may not feel helpful... is there a specific aspect of a outfit or your style you'd like to address? If it's not the "is this ME" question, some people might not think to critique it - I for one find that question to by one of my central style struggles in life, so it tends to be at the fore of the mind.

Ok. That said... I've got to go take a look at some Zap WIWs!

Thank you all for responding with such detail and enthusiasm.

First, I just wanted to clarify something. I am not complaining about either the amount of feedback or the quality of the feedback I have been getting. As a matter of fact, I am often thrilled to have any responses, at all. To me, the biggest exercise is to put myself out there, take that picture so at least I don't have to reinvent the wheel each time, and post for you to see. To me that is the exercise and the validation. I just don't want to appear ungrateful, because I am not. I am very thankful to each one of you, who have taken a minute out of your days to post a comment.

It was what Anna said, that "under the fashion rock" comment, what kind of dislodged some earlier thoughts I had about the entire WIWs exercise. " What if that is what people think and they just don't say it, I'd love to hear it?" But again, I don't want to go too much into it, because I actually don't think she meant anything by it.

Rae - I am not sure if I can come up with a specific instance or a specific area where I would love a more critical eye but I guess I would keep that in mind for future WIWs. Ask and you shall receive! Thank you for the compliments.

I do think I can benefit from suggestions on how to improve, even if I don't have the need to create a long term style. I can tell you, in general, what I would like to steer clear of: I don't want to look too staid, matronly or safe. I don't want to look as if I'm stuck in a rut. I would like to have some variety and take some risks. As far as what feels like me at the moment: I am loving black, white or cream combos, love texture, tweed, pattern, black leather and suede anything and the color oxblood or grey.

Coco- Thank you for being forthcoming, heck, it is human nature to compare. If I ever become more of a regular WIW poster, I'd love to have a "weekly segment" lol, too. I guess it is good for one to see a snapshot of the week, and you are right. I was becoming hard for me to ask for opinions on items, without the forum having an idea as to my preferences.

Beth - I think I need to get more specific on my WIWs, if I need criticism, I see what you are saying. As far as the POV of posters like you and me, that are more classic or "safe" ( I hope you don't mind I added you to my category), I have felt that way at times. I even would go to say why I'm not qualified to comment, but I would add my opinion, if I think I have a useful suggestion. I'll be frank though; there have been instances where I decided to stay clear of commenting, because I have felt dismissed. But it is all in great fun and I bounce back.

Shevia - I found myself nodding to all of what you said. The last paragraph especially cracked me up. I have had lots of conversations (with myself lol) on lots of topics, based on everyone's perspectives. It took me a while to figure it out that I actually I don't need to project anything, other than an overall "she looks put together", with what I wear. I also came up with a list of "what I don't want to look like": i.e. staid, matronly, boring, too safe and unapproachable. At first, I questioned myself, a lot, as to why I was not as immersed in a style journey as others and why I was not seeing the importance. My figure flattery priorities are greatly shaped by culture, I'm afraid.

Joy - Yes, I forgot about that! It is true. I often saw lots of "self - correction" and improvement, from those regular WIW posters, and yes, I wanted to jump on that wagon. That is so true. I do share some of your concerns with age appropriateness. Although I am 38, I have an 18 year old daughter. I want to look as if I'm her mother, not her sister. I also like to make a clear differentiation between her experimental / all over the place style and mine. I hate to be seen as wearing "my daughter's clothes". Some young mothers like that sharing, I don't. As far as I'm concerned, you have nothing to worry about in that department.

Caro - I feel the same way, posting that photo is a great exercise on itself and yes, we all love the validation. Perhaps I should make any future WIWs more clear as to the fact I want criticism.

Isis - I think the forum dynamics have changed a bit. When I joined in 2010 (I think you and I joined at about the same time - How can I forget your avatar?) we had a more critical audience, I think critical feedback on WIWs was more frequent. Do you agree with that at all? I am new to the WIW wagon, however. I can be wrong.

JR - I completely agree what you said here: .... “But if all we ever hear is a chorus of praise for everything we wear, nobody will learn a thing". True!

Cciele - I think you nailed it with “But I don't expect criticism when I don't ask for it, because that doesn't seem to be the MO here". As Rae, Beth and others said it. I need to be more specific on my WIWs, if I want deviation from the MO.

N- Marie - I know! Fashion blogs about changed it for me too. Before that, I really had a huge disconnect between editorial fashion and street fashion. It has been so useful to see that editorial fashion brought to life, by everyday people.

GX - Yes, that frame of reference or lack thereof, was one of the motivators behind me getting on that WIW wagon. Did you see the meet up thread for NY 2013?

Tracina - I enjoy the WIWs a great deal too and yes. it takes time to respond. I sometimes would write something short, just to acknowledge I saw it and I liked it. I need to work on giving more detailed feedback. It is sad I might be asking for something I might not be giving myself.

Atlantia - Really? I must go look at your WIW. I do feel the same way regarding my style but I think we can be our harshest critics.

I'll be back to comment on the rest... Thank you so much for the responses.

BJ: I know, I’d love to hear from the silent ones too “)

Diana – You have made tons of excellent points and I’m starting to think the WIWs' intent might have shifted a bit. It used to be more along the lines of “I’m posting XYZ, tell me if something works or doesn’t work”; now they are more of a lookbook, which is fine.

Carole – I know, my stepfather actually became a technology guru and internet surfer after retirement. Gosh, I can’t believe you are retired. I must learn your secret. Thanks for contributing to this thread and to the community.

Lulu – I see your take on the WIWs. I must tell you though, the feedback is honest and constructive, even if you don’t receive criticism. I see your point, you wonder about what you did not hear, and I wonder about that too.

Lisa – Haha, yes, I was shocked at some of my early pics. I have been taking pictures here and there for a while but only shared them recently.

Deb, RunnerRae, Kat. Jules, amiable, mackrame, Sveta & Henley. I think you all make great sense. It is often not what you say but how you said it.

Mo – (smacks forehead), but of course you have asked this question. I do appreciate your sticking around with WIWs, in spite of getting frustrated at times.

Gaylene. Suz & Shiny – I agree 100% with all of your points. Gaylene, I do, too, draw the proverbial line in the sand with interview attire. I've participated on plenty of recruiting events at my current job to know that most interviewers, for the more corporate / non creative jobs, have very narrow expectations as far as interview attire. An interview is not the time to show some flair, IMO, unless you are applying for a non corporate or creative job. I do share some of your concerns on the “pushing the envelope” department too, because as much as I would love to be off kilter, I am surrounded by people that are not going to “get it”. I am just going to look like a crazy lady to them. Definitely not cool. I do envy all of you, who are in an environment that allows for such creativity.

Aida – Believe me, I felt as a bit of a failure when I discovered I do not have any “grand” expectations regarding fashion as an expression of self, other than looking presentable, modern and approachable. I, too, come from a very creative environment. I was actually studying advertising and graphic design before I came to the USA, but had to switch majors as I could not afford design school. I guess it is my cynical aspect of self denying the possibility of uniqueness gathered from a garment that was mass produced and bought by thousands of people. How can my outfit be unique, if I have the same skinny jeans, top and blazer as anyone else? Yet, I see uniqueness in all of you, Meh. That’s where I draw the line and decide to jump ship, since I feel I’m over-thinking it.

Shannon – I admire your adventurous style and willingness to try just about anything, at least just once. I do share the same time limitations too and feel bad if and when I cannot respond.

Zapotee, you are so gracious and thorough in your responses to us all. A true lady. But *not* staid and matronly!

You offered very good food for thought.

Zapotee, I share all your style goals and descriptors! When we do that exercise, I also struggle and can only seem to come up with what I *don't* want to look like. I related so much to your explanation here.

I just realized something else, which may be a factor: when people comment on my WiW, I have this tendency to then go check out their WiW's (especially if it appears around same time in recent threads) and make the extra effort to comment. I suppose it is a natural, reciprocal sort of thing that I wasn't fully conscious I was doing.

Also I suspect that time of day one tends to read the forum plays a big role in who comments on what, and who you may wind up becoming more familiar with. (I post my WiW's late at night before bed, but I'm more likely to read and comment in the morning, when many people may be working; I may see a WiW late at night but NOT comment, simply because by then my brain is too fried).

And daily WiW vs weekly means the more frequent posters are going to stick in your brain/connect faster. For example, I was a regular... then I took a long break... and I came back to lots of new faces. There are so many people now it's hard to keep up and remember who is who. I recognize Zap's name and Coco's name, but I confess just now I had to go look up both your WiW's to jog my memory about what you both look like. And that's because you both don't post your WiW's as frequently as others do.

Coco, not sure I've commented on your WiW's all that much and it's probably because you are so light-years ahead of me it's very hard for me to come up with more than a "wow." Seeing your WiW's is like fashion porn (I mean that as a compliment!). Very editorial presentation and I love it. If there was a bookmarking function I'd have you bookmarked for sure, as "aspirational."

Zap, I recall commenting on your most recent WiW because I loved it *and* I immediately identified with your style. But, you see, I didn't have your images ingrained into my brain -- not just yet.

Also I realize that I often spend more time with those who are more in the "beginner" stage because there's a part of me that likes to help, and I feel I can help. Or folks on same level as me, struggling with same challenges. There are a lot of style masters in this forum, and I have so little to add because I'm personally just not there yet (and honestly, may never be.. hey, I know my limits!).

I am coming late to the party and have not had a chance to read all the posts. Work has been insane.

So quickly: I post WiWs because I am actively seeking feedback. I have gotten it, too, and some of the feedback prompted me to get a bra fitting that has really helped with the shape of all of the my clothes.

I do not have an ideal figure, and dressing is difficult for me. It also does not help that most of the silhouettes I like look good on a figure type far different from mine. I need to learn what works for me and what doesn't, and my only realy feedback other than this forum is from my DH. And he usually tells me a look great in anything, including sweats! I want to present a more professional and put together look. I sort of view clothes as my armor against the world more than a reflection of me. I want good armor.

I really have no clue about color, style, etc. Looking at other ladies WIW helps give me more of a sense of what other, fashionable, put together ladies wear. I especially focus on ladies who are really put togther and nice with a figure similar to mine.

I try to contribute where I can, and I hope with time, that contribution will become more meaningful.

I do seldom give negative reviews, mostly because I feel like I have yet to learn to really dress myself much less understand others style. i know what my eye likes and what it doesn't like, but i don't feel experienced enough to give constructive criticism.

Zap, thank you for giving such thorough comments on your comments. You are amazing!

I agree with your assessment that the forum used to be more critical. I started lurking in late 2010 and joined in Jan. 2011. I remember so many comments I got, maybe I felt a little surprised that some of my outfits needed improvement (I have always been a confident dresser even if I'm totally off base!), but I didn't feel hurt, ever. Along with the positive reinforcement there was always enough critique to learn but to still feel motivated.

As far as you not feeling that dressing reflects your creativity, a few things come to mind. First, you are in a field where you're not supposed to express your sartorial creativity! In fact too much creativity would negatively affect your career. I understand this. Many years ago I worked at Colgate-Palmolive in NYC and had a bleach blonde, punky spikey short hairdo. I was given very specific feedback after my first year that I did not receive a promotion because the VP didn't like my hair. Believe me I learned from that and changed my style (I only wore vintage suits back then).

Second, you are in NYC the fashion capital of the US. With so many fashion victims running around, I could see how adopting a "they're just clothes" mindset would be liberating and make oneself feel stronger and less ... superficial?

Interesting questions and discussion! I post WIW's to get feedback and criticism, but also to get validation. I work in such a tiny office that it's nice to show people who care about style that I actually thought about my outfit for the day. When I first starting posting I would get more critical feedback than I do now. I'm not sure if that's due to a change in the forum or if my outfits are better and don't require as much "fixing". I like to look at others WIW posts but not always with the intent of critiquing their outfits. Sometimes I just want inspiration for my own outfits. I don't usually give advice unless something is really off, because I don't feel like I spend enough time on the forum to really know most people's style. I don't want to make a comment that may not be applicable to another's style.

Zap, regarding "what does my clothing say about me"... I don't really give it much thought AFTER I've already purchased an item. A piece could have elements that I love, that I feel attachment to, or feel might say something about me, but for me it's all in how I put an outfit together. It's creative, it came out of my head, it therefore represents _something_ about me whether I quantify that or not (no reason that I have to unless I want to!). That's why I try to make sure the pieces that go into my closet are things I really do love, but since my tastes are very broad (*ahem* eclectic) for the sake of sanity I needed a way to really boil things down to "core Aida". To be honest, if I had less time to spend on fashion as a hobby, I would prioritize figure flattery above all. And your list does say something about yourself, by the way. It doesn't have to be so specific as "My favorite band is Billy Talent", but even the idea of "I want to be viewed as modern" or "I don't want to look super preppy" says something, it's just a broader statement. The cynical side is always tough to reconcile, I hear you on that.

(Super /highfive for replying so thoroughly to everyone's comments! Very insightful, all of it.)

It's been a pleasure to read this thread, and your comments especially, Zap. There have been a few threads about this over the past few years, always interesting. I think people participate and post WIWs for different reasons. When I was posting WIWs, it was because I genuinely wanted feedback, and I felt like it was a way to be a sharing community member, if that makes sense.

Re. people not really saying anything negative: I think sometimes when someone has earned veteran status, it's almost like people are uncomfortable offering anything that might be considered negative or critical, whereas with a relative newbie, the constructive criticism might flow more easily.

When I was posting a lot, I would try to be honest and mention little tweaks here and there if I thought a poster was open to it, but then sometimes I would feel bad because I felt like I was the only one saying anything remotely negative. Especially if I did two or three in a row, I would feel bad and refrain from saying anything else for a few days.

I started posting WIW's because I wanted to know what I was doing right, and yes, what I was doing wrong - not "that outfit sucks" but constructive criticism. I like to hear suggestions about how to improve my outfits. Just because someone suggests adding a scarf or different shoes doesn't mean I look awful, but they are giving me ideas that I might not have thought of. And positive comments are always wonderful to get, it helps to know what I did right and transfer that to other outfits.

A few weeks ago, I posted a pic of me in a new blazer I had just bought. Now, I loved that blazer...and those who replied did not! No one was mean, but you all very nicely told me it wasn't my best look. So, I returned the blazer (I hadn't worn it or removed the tags)! And thank you all who were honest and told me what you thought! No matter how much I love the fabric or design of something, I don't want to wear what doesn't make me look my best.

So thank you, YLF friends, I have taken your suggestions and elevated my "fashionista" status at work to new heights!

As I have said before...I'm a high school teacher, I can handle whatever comments come my way

I don't have time to read the whole thread, but about why I share WIWs....

I started sharing them because I was clueless! I didn't have any idea how to dress and needed all the help I could get! LOL I continued to share them because I liked the feedback I received. It's nice to hear that you looked nice on a particular day.

I hardly post WIWs these days because frankly, I don't have time. I like the compliments I get and appreciate the constructive criticism I've gotten as well. But I feel pretty comfy with my style and can get dressed decently without a ton of help most of the time. I kinda wish I had more time because I would like to contribute to Mo's goal of having more casual/less professional WIWs here. As a MOTG with a pretty classic style, I don't do professional wear and sometimes feel like my wardrobe is not special enough to warrant a lot of time devoted to WIW posts.

I'm more likely to post Keep/Return posts because I feel like they are more useful to me. I don't get the compliments, but I get more actual help. And once I decide to keep an item, I usually can figure out how to wear it

Wow, what a thread!

I post WIWs to get constructive feedback, positive or negative. An "I hate this" wouldn't be that helpful, but suggestions are always welcome. At the same time, I understand that not all of us know each other's style preferences and some may be sensitive either to posting or receiving comments when out of their comfort zone.

I really appreciate when people state within their post if they want something specific - like "does this work with that?" or "is this hem okay with these shoes?". I always try at least to put "feedback welcome" to encourage commnents of any kind.

I am still learning so much and though I've been here two years, things are only now starting to make sense to me in a cohesive way... I am a SLOW learner!

So many intelligent & thoughtful comments - great thread. Thanks Zapotee.
I think sometimes knowing what we are not is better than knowing exactly what we are, it gives us more room to play. Imo your style is modern classic in all the best ways.

Interesting thread. I post WIWs to get honest feedback, and yes, for validation that I look OK ;-), but also to keep me on track as I continue to hone my style. Even though I've been on here almost two years, I am still sometimes surprised at feedback I get, although its usually more on K/R or dressing room pics when I'm stepping out of my comfort zone.

I also think there's something to be said for the spirit of sharing. I appreciate how this forum can celebrate such a wide a variety of styles and lifestyles, and I like to see a broad range of styles in WIWs. I feel like I need to represent just a little bit for the non-MOTG, non-office-working crowd, even if we might be a minority.