Clearly it really depends on the kind of wedding, and the kind of folks that will be there. The last three weddings I went to involved: the wedding party learning and leading a very earthy Brazilian dance to get down to, everyone including the wedding party disrobing and running into the surf naked on a secluded beach, bridesmaid's gowns cut low to showcase full back tattoos.... there were older relatives at these events too.

I think getting a sense of vibe and cultural traditions to be respectful makes perfect sense, but on the other hand, most couples want their friends and family to be comfortable at the wedding. Is someone at the wedding who is more fixated on jacket color than the fact that you came to help usher in the union really someone whose opinion you should give weight to?

The assumption that there will be professional photographs of the general crowd (rather than just the bridal party) and that someone might be noticeable in these casual unposed shots, is something that might apply to a small subset of weddings. Are guys supposed to avoid white shirts? I get that there are regional and probably economic differences at play here.

Wow, very interesting. I had no idea that this was such a hot topic! I had never heard of this rule before. FWIW, I grew up in northeastern Iowa.

I will say that I clicked on one of the links in the Emily Post article that Echo posted, and the article I got seemed to go a little more in-depth about what was acceptable:
http://blogs.dexknows.com/wedd.....e-wedding/

It sounds to me like since Pil will be wearing a white (or off-white) blazer, that is OK. If the dress were white and the blazer black, that would be a different story. It seems that the prohibition is on all-white (or off-white, etc.) dresses and not on any white article of clothing. And the author does mention that this is more important in the South.

Wow, Pil, we've created a bit of a hornet's nest for you now! Aren't you glad you posted? ;^)

Yikes! I am planning to wear a cream lace dress to a wedding on Long Island in August. I guess I will ask my good friend who is the Mother of the Groom . I highly doubt that she would care at all but she will definitely tell me if she thought it would be a bad move.

I wore a black dress to an early evening wedding last summer and was joined by not only many other attendees but the Mother of the Groom who also chose to wear a black dress. I wondered about it before hand too, but decided after YLF advice that it was fine. And it was *totally* fine.

Mother of the groom and I talked this morning. She likes the jacket, commented on lace being on trend and thought it would be fine.
BUT, she did comment that the bride would be wearing cream lace. I think the bride's family is fairly conservative and we are in the midwest. SO, I will be playing it safe and find something else. As I was lying in bed last night I got to thinking about how I didn't want to take a chance on being 'that' friend of the new mother in law. Along the same lines of LBD's comment about in laws and Echo's 'Old Hens' not letting go of even a perceived breach of etiquette.

So many thoughtful responses from all of you, thank you!

Now, as Suz pointed out, time to shop again! This jacket does come in navy.....