I am so sorry for all of what you are going through. My parents were in another state when starting to have problems which of course added to stress of sorting through things, still working full time. So it is very hard.
Re: the pup, it might be possible to take her in with backup plan of re- homing later in your own city when could deal with that more easily and assess the adoptive family, if apartment situation not working out. Kind of deciding between different forms of stress of course. Or there are also people who like to be foster homes for pets, for negotiable lengths of time, but temporary.

So sorry to hear about all you are dealing with. The feeling of not wearing bright clothes was an ah-ha moment for me. Funny how our emotional state can have an effect on every part of our lives. Try to take care of yourself, it is too easy to let that go when under that kind of stress, but it is more necessary than ever.

Sending Hugs, Love, Prayers.
Very difficult time.

Do think to find a caregiver support group. There are also suicide survivor support groups for the youngsters. Many are online with the pandemic.

❤️

Thank you all for your wisdom and kind words. There were lot of developments in last few days - my mom moved into a nursing home yesterday. Tara is taken care of by neighbor on temporary basis. My childhood home is sold. I am going there soon to help sort out my parents belongings before house is torn down (it is bought just for the plot). House is huge (6 bedrooms, family room, living room, dining room, office) and very cluttered, every nook amd cranny is filled with stuff. It is going to be challenging and sad. End of an era, so many good memories.

Hugs. Stressful times…been there, still there. You will get through this (difficult) rite of passage. We have no choice, really.

Oh Anchie, I know this process of sorting through and cleaning out the childhood home, during an already-stressful and emotional time. I hope you have help — recruit someone to help you if you have to. My sister and I did it together, just the two of us, and it was physically, emotionally and mentally draining. Sending love and hugs.

Janet - It would be easier if I find someone to help me. I don’t have siblings and I never missed having them until now. I will donate most of the things and keep few keepsakes - don’t have space to keep a lot. I don’t have the energy to sell anything even though there are lot of things still unopened in original packaging- my mom loved tv shopping channels - there are blankets and pillows and massagers and knifes and kitchen gadgets and exercise equipment and what not. And clothes - lot of it. Now she doesn’t care about any of it, everything is a burden and she just wants to get rid of it. She is hoping to be able to sort through it with me, but will see if she is strong enough.

Anchie, I hope your mother is able to help if she’s up to it, but not if it causes her stress. It may be better to have the help of an impartial friend who has no emotional connection to the items. We had a garage sale with mixed results — made a little money but also had some antique tools stolen, and it was time consuming. I am a fan of donating or giving away as much as possible in a situation like this, to keep it easier on you.

I wish I were closer — I would totally come help you out.

Anchie, I am so sorry for all you're going through. I, too, am helping my mum through cancer treatment, and it is just so, so hard. As you said, this is a stage of life we all go through, but one is just simply never as prepared for it as they would like. Caring for your own children and marriage and home becomes a monumental task when your thoughts are monopolized by concern for your parents. We sometimes just don't have the band width to process everything. I am wishing you strength and peace in this terribly tough time.

Anchie,

On top of everyone you have going on this year, I see you added this note :

“Apologies for not replying - just received some shocking news that sister of my daughter’s best friend committed suicide. We know the family.”

My heart goes out to all involved.
I did finally locate our local support organization. They are wonderful. I don’t know how far they reach but should have some useful online info:

https://kara-grief.org/support.....-children/

Even with all you have going on, this tragedy is huge. It may be helpful to have some guidance to support your daughter and her friend & family, even if only to pass on this website.

My daughter lost a housemate who she knew briefly and it was such a big deal for her and us.